Grief Unedited

Episode Number: 29
Release Date: 30th September 2026

Episode Title: The Grief No One Talks About: Losing a Narcissistic Mother

⚠ Content Note: This episode contains discussions of complicated grief, difficult parent-child relationships, emotional harm, suicidal ideation, and the death of a parent. Please take care of yourself while listening.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Grief Unedited, Karen is joined by author Justine Nicholson, whose book The Grief No One Talks About: How to Heal After Losing a Narcissistic Mother explores the complicated grief that can follow the death of a parent when the relationship itself was difficult.

Justine shares her experience of loving her mum while also experiencing fear, confusion, anger, guilt and, ultimately, relief after her death. They talk about the shame that can come with grieving a complicated relationship, the way childhood experiences can continue to shape us into adulthood, and how death doesn't necessarily bring an end to a difficult relationship.

The conversation also explores ambiguous loss, no contact, the importance of language, and why we need more honest conversations about the many different ways grief can look.

Justine also talks about why she wrote her book from lived experience, rather than as a clinician, and how hearing from others who feel less alone has affirmed her decision to share her story.

About Justine Nicholson

Justine Nicholson is an author who wrote The Grief No One Talks About: How to Heal After Losing a Narcissistic Mother from her own lived experience.

Justine is clear that she is not a therapist, clinician or counsellor, and that her mother was never diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. Instead, she uses the term “narcissistic” to describe the tendencies and behaviours she experienced within their relationship.

Her book combines her personal story with reflections, tools and resources designed to help readers consider their own experiences and relationships.

In this episode, we chat about:
The Reality of Complicated Grief – When grief doesn't look the way society expects it to.
Love, Anger, Relief & Guilt – How seemingly conflicting emotions can exist alongside one another.
Grieving a Difficult Relationship – The unique grief that can come with losing someone you had a complicated relationship with.
The Human Element – Shame, isolation and the feeling that nobody else could possibly understand.
The Voice That Lives On – How childhood experiences and messages can continue to affect us long after a parent has died.
Ambiguous Loss & No Contact – The grief that can exist even when someone hasn't died.
Breaking the Stigma – Why we need to create space for honest conversations about difficult relationships and grief.
The Power of Language – How finding words for our experiences can help us understand ourselves.
Writing from Lived Experience – Why Justine chose to share her story and how the book developed.
Feeling Seen & Less Alone – The messages Justine receives from people who recognise themselves in her story.
Connect with Karen

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/continuumcounselling
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/continuumcounselling
Website: https://www.continuumcounselling.com

Connect with Justine

Website: https://www.justinenicholson.com
TikTok: Justine Nicholson Author
Instagram: Justine Nicholson Author
Facebook: Justine Nicholson Author

Justine's website is also being developed as a resource with tools, writing and blogs to support people through different experiences of grief.

Support Grief Unedited

If you enjoy Grief Unedited, you can support the podcast by:

❤️ Subscribe and never miss an episode
📲 Share an episode with someone who might find it helpful
☕ Buy Me a Coffee: buymeacoffee.com/griefunedited
⭐ Subscribe & leave a review – it really helps the podcast reach more people
📖 Shop the Grief & Growth Journal: https://amzn.eu/d/0fDaVBLj

Episode Number: 28
Release Date: 31st August 2026

Episode Title: Death, Grief & Giving People Back Control with John Adams

⚠ Content Note: This episode contains discussions of childhood bereavement, parental death and suicide. Please take care of yourself while listening.

Episode Summary: In this episode of Grief Unedited, I’m joined by John Adams, a fourth-generation Funeral Director from Bridgnorth, Shropshire, who has become a prominent voice for changing the way we talk about death, dying and bereavement.

We’re pulling back the curtain on what it’s actually like to work at the intersection of life and death. John shares the personal experience of losing his mum, Maria, when he was just 12, the lessons his own father gave him about talking openly about death, and how those experiences shaped his approach to supporting bereaved families.

We also explore his campaign to bring education around death, dying and bereavement into the English education system, the importance of involving children in conversations about loss, and why giving bereaved families information, choices and a sense of control can make such a profound difference.

About John Adams: John Adams is a fourth-generation Funeral Director based in Bridgnorth, Shropshire, working within his family funeral service, Perry and Phillips. His personal experience of losing his mum as a child, combined with his work supporting bereaved families, has driven his passion for changing the way society approaches death, dying and grief.

John has also been involved in campaigning for death, dying and bereavement education to be included within the English education system. His petition gained 11,322 signatures and ultimately led to the issue being taken forward for parliamentary debate and consideration.
In this episode, we chat about:

• The Reality of the Role: What it means to work as a fourth-generation Funeral Director and the experiences John has had supporting families at some of the most difficult moments of their lives.
• The Human Element: Why giving people information, choices and control can be so important after someone dies, and the powerful moments of connection John has witnessed within bereaved families.
• Breaking the Stigma: John's campaign to bring death, dying and bereavement education into schools, and why he believes children shouldn't be excluded from conversations about loss simply because adults find them uncomfortable.
• Children & Grief: How we can talk to children about death honestly and in an age-appropriate way, why children should have their voices heard, and how involving them can help them feel connected rather than excluded.
• Personal Impact: How losing his mum at 12 shaped John's understanding of death, how becoming a father has changed his perspective, and how his work has brought him closer to his mum's memory.
• Finding the Courage to Create Change: The importance of knowing why you're doing something, staying committed despite doubt, and being willing to step outside your comfort zone to create meaningful change.
• Redefining the Funeral: Why a funeral doesn't have to be a single moment, and how small acts of connection and involvement can become incredibly meaningful parts of someone's goodbye.

Connect with Karen:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/continuumcounselling
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/continuumcounselling
• Website: https://www.continuumcounselling.com

Connect with John Adams:

• Perry & Phillips: https://www.perryandphillipsfunerals.com
• LinkedIn: John Adams
• Podcast: Death: A Changing Industry

John provided these as the ways listeners can connect with him at the end of the episode.

Support Grief Unedited: This podcast is a passion project dedicated to keeping conversations about grief honest and "unedited." If you find value in these episodes, please consider:

• Subscribing: So you never miss an episode.
• Sharing: Send this episode to someone who might find comfort or insight in it.
• Buying Me a Coffee: To help keep the show running, you can support us here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/griefunedited
• Subscribe & Review: If you enjoyed this chat, please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it’s the best way to help other people find the show.
• Shop the Grief Journal: Our brand new grief journal, Grief and Growth, is available here: https://amzn.eu/d/0fDaVBLj

Episode Number: 27
Release Date: 30 July 2026

Kirsten O'Connor: A Mother's Grief, Journalling Through Loss & Learning to Live Again

⚠ Content Note: This episode contains discussions of suicide, mental illness, traumatic loss, and the death of a child. Please take care of yourself.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Grief Unedited, I'm joined by Kirsten O'Connor, a bereaved mother and author from New Zealand. Following the death of her 24-year-old daughter, Kahlia, Kirsten turned to journalling as a way to survive the unimaginable. What began as a deeply personal coping mechanism eventually became a memoir, offering hope and understanding to others navigating grief.

Together, we have an honest conversation about losing a child, living with the ongoing pain of grief, the fear of forgetting those we love, and why there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Kirsten also shares how writing helped her process her emotions and why open conversations about mental health and bereavement matter more than ever.

About Kirsten O'Connor

Kirsten O'Connor is a New Zealand-based author and bereaved mother whose daughter, Kahlia, died at the age of 24 following significant mental health challenges. After her loss, Kirsten found comfort in journalling, which ultimately became the foundation of her memoir. Today, she shares her story to help others feel less alone in their grief and to encourage more open conversations about bereavement and mental health.

In this episode, we chat about:

• Kirsten's journey through the devastating loss of her daughter and the realities of child loss.
• How journalling became a vital tool for processing grief and eventually led to writing her memoir.
• The importance of remembering loved ones and the fear many bereaved people have of forgetting them.
• Supporting yourself and others through grief when there is no roadmap or timeline for healing.
• The impact of mental illness on families and why compassionate conversations are so important.
• Finding meaning, hope and connection while continuing to carry grief.

Connect with Karen

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/continuumcounselling
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/continuumcounselling
Website: https://www.continuumcounselling.com

Connect with Kirsten O'Connor

Website: https://thisisgrief.nz
Book: The Year After Kahlia
Book: STAY: A Dogs view

Support Grief Unedited

This podcast is a passion project dedicated to keeping conversations about grief honest and unedited. If you find value in these episodes, please consider:

• Subscribing: So you never miss an episode.
• Sharing: Send this episode to someone who might find comfort or insight in it.
• Buying Me a Coffee: To help keep the show running, you can support us here: buymeacoffee.com/griefunedited
• Subscribe & Review: If you enjoyed this chat, please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it's the best way to help other people find the show.
• Shop the Grief Journal: Our brand new grief journal, Grief and Growth, is available here: https://amzn.eu/d/0fDaVBLj

Episode Number: Episode 26

Release Date:  30 June 2026

Episode Summary

In this episode of Grief Unedited, I’m joined by Mandy Gosling, psychotherapist, researcher, advocate, and founder of ABC Grief.

We explore the lifelong impact of being bereaved as a child and the unique challenges faced by adults who experienced significant loss in their early years. Drawing on her own experience of losing her mother at just nine years old, alongside her extensive clinical work and research, Mandy shares powerful insights into how grief evolves across a lifetime.

Together, we discuss why grief is rarely something that can be "fixed," how childhood bereavement often shows up in unexpected ways, and why there is no one-size-fits-all approach to navigating loss. This is an honest, compassionate conversation about what becomes possible when we learn to live alongside grief rather than fight against it.

About Mandy Gosling

Mandy Gosling is a UKCP-accredited psychotherapist, researcher, speaker, and advocate specialising in the long-term impact of childhood bereavement. Having experienced the death of her mother at the age of nine, Mandy brings together lived experience, clinical expertise, and academic research to support adults who were bereaved in childhood.

Through her work with ABC Grief, her research, speaking engagements, and ongoing PhD studies, Mandy is helping to raise awareness of the unique challenges faced by adults who experienced significant loss early in life and advocating for greater understanding and support.

In This Episode, We Chat About:

The Reality of Childhood Bereavement

• How the death of a parent in childhood can shape identity, relationships, and emotional wellbeing for decades.
• Why grief experienced in childhood often resurfaces at different stages of life.

Expecting the Unexpected

• Why grief isn't something that has a finish line.
• Mandy's experience of encountering a grief response more than 50 years after her mother's death.
• Learning to trust your own experience rather than society's expectations of grief.

Breaking the Myths Around Grief

• The misconception that grief follows a predictable timeline.
• Why grief is about much more than tears and sadness.
• How grief can show up through anxiety, behavioural challenges, relationship difficulties, and other unexpected ways.

Supporting Bereaved Children

• The complexities of involving children in funerals and rituals.
• Why there is rarely a "right" or "wrong" answer when supporting grieving children.
• The importance of honest, age-appropriate conversations.

Living Beyond Loss

• How psychotherapy and research transformed Mandy's understanding of her own grief.
• The power of conscious grieving and anticipatory grief.
• Why having experienced early life loss doesn't mean a person cannot go on to live a full and meaningful life.

Connect with Karen

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/continuumcounselling

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/continuumcounselling

Website: https://www.continuumcounselling.com

Connect with Mandy Gosling

Website: https://abcgrief.co.uk

LinkedIn: Mandy Gosling

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abcgrief

Facebook: Mandy Gosling Therapy

Support Grief Unedited

This podcast is a passion project dedicated to keeping conversations about grief honest and unedited.

If you find value in these episodes, please consider:

Subscribing – So you never miss an episode.

Sharing – Send this episode to someone who might find comfort, validation, or insight.

Buying Me a Coffee – To help keep the show running, support us here: buymeacoffee.com/griefunedited

Subscribe & Review

If you enjoyed this conversation, please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Reviews are one of the best ways to help others discover the podcast and join these important conversations about grief, loss, and healing.

Shop the Grief Journal

Our brand new grief journal, Grief and Growth, is available here:

https://amzn.eu/d/0fDaVBLj

Episode Number: Episode 25

Release Date:  31 May 2026

Episode Title: My Life, My Death, My Wishes with author, celebrant and doula Berni B

Episode Summary: In this episode of Grief Unedited, I’m joined by Berni B, author, celebrant and doula.

We’re pulling back the curtain on what it’s actually like to work at the intersection of life and death. Berni shares the surprising lessons they’ve learned on the job, the myths they want to bust, and the moments of profound human connection that keep them going.

About Berni:   Berni is a funeral celebrant, end-of-life doula, and author passionate about helping people approach death, dying, and grief with more openness and less fear. Through her work, she supports individuals and families to have honest conversations, honour personal wishes, and navigate loss in a way that feels authentic and compassionate. 

In this episode, we chat about:

• The Reality of the Role: What a typical day looks like when your "office" is centered around loss.
• The Human Element: The most unexpected thing Berni has learned about people through their work.
• Breaking the Stigma: Tackling the common misconceptions people have about her role.
• Personal Impact: How working in the bereavement industry has changed the way Berni views their own life and relationships.

Connect with Karen:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/continuumcounselling 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/continuumcounselling
• Website: https://www.continuumcounselling.com

Connect with Berni: 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bernib_full_life
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BernibFullLife
• Website: https://www.bernib.co.uk
• Book: https://mylifemydeathmywishes.uk
• Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@bernib_full_life/podcasts

Support Grief Unedited: This podcast is a passion project dedicated to keeping conversations about grief honest and "unedited." If you find value in these episodes, please consider:

• Subscribing: So you never miss an episode.
• Sharing: Send this episode to someone who might find comfort or insight in it.
• Buying Me a Coffee: To help keep the show running, you can support us here: buymeacoffee.com/griefunedited
• Subscribe & Review: If you enjoyed this chat, please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it’s the best way to help other people find the show.

Shop the Grief Journal: Our brand new grief journal, Grief and Growth is available here: https://amzn.eu/d/0fDaVBLj

Episode Number: Episode 24

Release Date: 30 April 2026

Episode Title: From Stuck to Stepping Forward: Using Coaching to Navigate Grief with Lisa Archer

Episode Summary: In this episode of Grief Unedited, I’m joined by Lisa Archer, Life Coach.

We’re pulling back the curtain on what it’s actually like to work at the intersection of life and death. Lisa shares the surprising lessons they’ve learned on the job, the myths they want to bust, and the moments of profound human connection that keep them going.

About Lisa:  Lisa Archer is a certified life coach and grief educator who helps people move forward after loss. Originally from Seattle and now based in the UK, she was inspired by her own experiences of grief and now supports others through coaching, education, and speaking. 

In this episode, we chat about:

• The Reality of the Role: What a typical day looks like when your "office" is centered around loss.
• The Human Element: The most unexpected thing Lisa has learned about people through their work.
• Breaking the Stigma: Tackling the common misconceptions people have about her role.
• Personal Impact: How working in the bereavement industry has changed the way Lisa views their own life and relationships.

Connect with Karen:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/continuumcounselling 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/continuumcounselling
• Website: https://www.continuumcounselling.com

Connect with Lisa: 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/holistic_coach_lisa 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/holisticlifecoachingwithlisamarie
• Website: https://holisticlifecoaching.org.uk

Support Grief Unedited: This podcast is a passion project dedicated to keeping conversations about grief honest and "unedited." If you find value in these episodes, please consider:

• Subscribing: So you never miss an episode.
• Sharing: Send this episode to someone who might find comfort or insight in it.
• Buying Me a Coffee: To help keep the show running, you can support us here: buymeacoffee.com/griefunedited
• Subscribe & Review: If you enjoyed this chat, please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it’s the best way to help other people find the show.

Shop the Grief Journal: Our brand new grief journal, Grief and Growth is available here: https://amzn.eu/d/0fDaVBLj

Episode Number: Episode 23

Release Date: 31 March 2026

Episode Title: Holding Space at the End: What I've learned as a Death Doula with Mangala Holland

Episode Summary: In this episode of Grief Unedited, I’m joined by Mangala Holland, who is a death Doula.

We’re pulling back the curtain on what it’s actually like to work at the intersection of life and death. Mangala shares the surprising lessons they’ve learned on the job, the myths they want to bust, and the moments of profound human connection that keep them going.

About Mangala: Mangala Holland is a sexuality educator and end-of-life doula who supports women in navigating confidence, pleasure, grief, and life transitions. With over a decade of experience, she brings a compassionate, holistic approach to both sexuality and end-of-life care. 

In this episode, we chat about:

• The Reality of the Role: What a typical day looks like when your "office" is centered around loss.
• The Human Element: The most unexpected thing Mangala has learned about people through their work.
• Breaking the Stigma: Tackling the common misconceptions people have about death Doulas.
• Personal Impact: How working in the bereavement industry has changed the way Mangala views their own life and relationships.

Connect with Karen:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/continuumcounselling 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/continuumcounselling
• Website: https://www.continuumcounselling.com

Connect with Mangala : 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mangalaholland
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mangalaholland
• Website: https://mangalaholland.com

Support Grief Unedited: This podcast is a passion project dedicated to keeping conversations about grief honest and "unedited." If you find value in these episodes, please consider:

• Subscribing: So you never miss an episode.
• Sharing: Send this episode to someone who might find comfort or insight in it.
• Buying Me a Coffee: To help keep the show running, you can support us here: buymeacoffee.com/griefunedited
• Subscribe & Review: If you enjoyed this chat, please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it’s the best way to help other people find the show.

Shop the Grief Journal: Our brand new grief journal, Grief and Growth is available here: https://amzn.eu/d/0fDaVBLj

Welcome to Season 2 of Grief Unedited taking you behind the scenes of bereavement care in the UK. You’ll hear from funeral directors, celebrants, and bereavement practitioners as they share what good support really looks like, what motivates their work, and how they show up for people in grief. 

Host Karen Lafferty, an accredited counsellor specialising in grief support, brings over a decade of experience to guide listeners through the complex journey of bereavement.

Nicola shares her unexpected journey from a 20-year corporate career as a chartered accountant into the third sector, and what drew her toward supporting people through bereavement. Together, Karen and Nicola explore the misconceptions people often hold about working in grief support including the common assumption that it must be relentlessly heavy and why those in the field often genuinely love the work they do.

One of the most powerful insights from the episode is Nicola’s reflection that grief is not just about death. It’s a normal, natural, and healthy response to many of life’s changes from relationship breakdowns and career shifts to health challenges and identity changes. Grief, she explains, “pops up everywhere.”

A compassionate and grounding episode that broadens our understanding of grief, challenges assumptions, and reminds us that support can take many forms.

You can connect with me here:

https://www.continuumcounselling.com

https://www.facebook.com/continuumcounselling

https://www.instagram.com/continuumcounselling

You can connect with Nicola here: 

https://https://www.crusescotland.org.uk

https://www.facebook.com/CruseScot

https://www.instagram.com/crusescotland

If you enjoy the show, please like, share, leave a review or support via Buy Me a Coffee to help keep this passion project going. 

Buy me a Coffee: http://buymeacoffee.com/griefunedited

Welcome to Season 2 of Grief Unedited taking you behind the scenes of bereavement care in the UK. You’ll hear from funeral directors, celebrants, and bereavement practitioners as they share what good support really looks like, what motivates their work, and how they show up for people in grief. 

Host Karen Lafferty, an accredited counsellor specialising in grief support, brings over a decade of experience to guide listeners through the complex journey of bereavement.

In this episode of Grief Unedited, Karen Lafferty is joined by Chris Ferri, a Scotland-based celebrant known for his warm, down-to-earth approach to funerals and weddings. Chris brings authenticity, humour, and deep care to his work, focusing on telling people’s stories in a way that feels personal and meaningful. Chris is passionate about honouring lives with integrity and supporting families through emotionally challenging moments with compassion and humanity. 

You can connect with me here:

https://www.continuumcounselling.com

https://www.facebook.com/continuumcounselling

https://www.instagram.com/continuumcounselling

You can connect with Chris here: 

https://www.instagram.com/chris_ferri

https://www.chrisferri.com

If you enjoy the show, please like, share, leave a review or support via Buy Me a Coffee to help keep this passion project going. 

Buy me a Coffee: http://buymeacoffee.com/griefunedited

I’m so excited to be back with a new season—this time taking you behind the scenes of bereavement care in the UK. You’ll hear from funeral directors, celebrants, and bereavement practitioners as they share what good support really looks like, what motivates their work, and how they show up for people in grief.

New episodes drop monthly, unedited and honest, just as before.

If you enjoy the show, please like, share, leave a review—or support via Buy Me a Coffee to help keep this passion project going.

Here’s to Season 2 🖤
You can connect with me here:

https://www.continuumcounselling.com

https://www.facebook.com/continuumcounselling

https://www.instagram.com/continuumcounselling

Buy me a Coffee: http://buymeacoffee.com/griefunedited