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Grieving Your Home Before You Leave
Format: Post-call
Runtime: ~8 minutes
Source: Environmental psychology , place attachment theory (Altman & Low, 1992); ambivalence and transitional decision-making
This is a short call in terms of time and a long one in terms of what it made me think about afterward.
The house was listed. I knew before I got there , he'd mentioned it on the phone. System not cooling, real estate agent said they needed to get it fixed before the showing Friday. He needed it handled by Thursday.
When I got there he was there but he wasn't really there. That's the best way I can describe it. He let me in, showed me to the utility room, and then stood in the doorway with the particular posture of someone who has mentally started the process of being somewhere else.
The system had a failed contactor and a refrigerant charge that had drifted low , probably a slow leak over eighteen months or so. Not a quick fix. We were going to be there a while.
He said: what's it going to take?
I quoted him. He said: fine, whatever it needs, just get it working for the showing.
I've worked on houses that are for sale before. It has a particular texture to it. The family has already half-departed. The house is starting to be a transaction rather than a place. The furniture gets staged. The personal things start coming off the walls. The rooms begin to look like what they're going to look like for someone else rather than what they've looked like for the people who lived there.
He'd been in the house eleven years. He said that while I was working , not elaborating, just mentioning. Eleven years is a real tenure. Kids grow up in eleven years. Neighbors become people you know. The house stops being just walls and starts being the context of a life.
And he'd already started letting go of it.
Environmental psychologists have studied what they call place attachment , the bond that develops between people and the physical spaces they inhabit over time. Irwin Altman and Setha Low's foundational work in the early 1990s found that place attachment isn't just sentimentality. It's a real psychological structure. The place becomes part of how you understand yourself , your identity, your memories, your sense of continuity. Leaving a significant place requires a kind of grieving, even when the move is voluntary and wanted.
What I was watching in that doorway was the early stages of that. He'd decided to leave. The decision was made and the logistics were running. But the house was still the house. He was still in it. The leaving hadn't fully happened yet, and until it does, you're in this strange in-between , emotionally partly here, partly there, not quite whole in either place.
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Thanks for tuning in to Hartzell's Heat & Air, your trusted HVAC experts in Oklahoma and beyond. From Kingfisher to coast-to-coast consulting, we design, install, and maintain smart, efficient systems that deliver year-round comfort.
We're employee-owned, family-run, and powered by 45+ years of experience. Whether it's AI-powered thermostats, geothermal systems, or classic tune-ups, we deliver upfront pricing, expert care, and warranties that back it all up.
🛠️ Book Online:
https://book.housecallpro.com/book/Hartzells-Heat--Air/4a569038b3dc460daf2d5f6497b18351?v2=true
🌐 www.hartzellsheatair.com
📞 (405) 375-4822
🚛 Trane Comfort Specialist • Mitsubishi Diamond Dealer • ClimateMaster Elite
🛡️ VIP Comfort Club • Remote Monitoring • Extended Warranties
📲 Follow us for tips, updates, and real-world installs:
YouTube: @hartzellsheatair6003
X: https://x.com/HartzellsHVAC
Facebook: facebook.com/hartzellsheatair
LinkedIn: Dave Hartzell
Built on trust. Backed by warranty. Designed for comfort.
View all episodes
By Dave Hartzell's Heat & Air - Kingfisher,OKFormat: Post-call
Runtime: ~8 minutes
Source: Environmental psychology , place attachment theory (Altman & Low, 1992); ambivalence and transitional decision-making
This is a short call in terms of time and a long one in terms of what it made me think about afterward.
The house was listed. I knew before I got there , he'd mentioned it on the phone. System not cooling, real estate agent said they needed to get it fixed before the showing Friday. He needed it handled by Thursday.
When I got there he was there but he wasn't really there. That's the best way I can describe it. He let me in, showed me to the utility room, and then stood in the doorway with the particular posture of someone who has mentally started the process of being somewhere else.
The system had a failed contactor and a refrigerant charge that had drifted low , probably a slow leak over eighteen months or so. Not a quick fix. We were going to be there a while.
He said: what's it going to take?
I quoted him. He said: fine, whatever it needs, just get it working for the showing.
I've worked on houses that are for sale before. It has a particular texture to it. The family has already half-departed. The house is starting to be a transaction rather than a place. The furniture gets staged. The personal things start coming off the walls. The rooms begin to look like what they're going to look like for someone else rather than what they've looked like for the people who lived there.
He'd been in the house eleven years. He said that while I was working , not elaborating, just mentioning. Eleven years is a real tenure. Kids grow up in eleven years. Neighbors become people you know. The house stops being just walls and starts being the context of a life.
And he'd already started letting go of it.
Environmental psychologists have studied what they call place attachment , the bond that develops between people and the physical spaces they inhabit over time. Irwin Altman and Setha Low's foundational work in the early 1990s found that place attachment isn't just sentimentality. It's a real psychological structure. The place becomes part of how you understand yourself , your identity, your memories, your sense of continuity. Leaving a significant place requires a kind of grieving, even when the move is voluntary and wanted.
What I was watching in that doorway was the early stages of that. He'd decided to leave. The decision was made and the logistics were running. But the house was still the house. He was still in it. The leaving hadn't fully happened yet, and until it does, you're in this strange in-between , emotionally partly here, partly there, not quite whole in either place.
Give Us A Shout
Thanks for tuning in to Hartzell's Heat & Air, your trusted HVAC experts in Oklahoma and beyond. From Kingfisher to coast-to-coast consulting, we design, install, and maintain smart, efficient systems that deliver year-round comfort.
We're employee-owned, family-run, and powered by 45+ years of experience. Whether it's AI-powered thermostats, geothermal systems, or classic tune-ups, we deliver upfront pricing, expert care, and warranties that back it all up.
🛠️ Book Online:
https://book.housecallpro.com/book/Hartzells-Heat--Air/4a569038b3dc460daf2d5f6497b18351?v2=true
🌐 www.hartzellsheatair.com
📞 (405) 375-4822
🚛 Trane Comfort Specialist • Mitsubishi Diamond Dealer • ClimateMaster Elite
🛡️ VIP Comfort Club • Remote Monitoring • Extended Warranties
📲 Follow us for tips, updates, and real-world installs:
YouTube: @hartzellsheatair6003
X: https://x.com/HartzellsHVAC
Facebook: facebook.com/hartzellsheatair
LinkedIn: Dave Hartzell
Built on trust. Backed by warranty. Designed for comfort.