A question came up during a catch up with a coaching colleague this week about business building.

"Is it always going to be a grind?" She asked.

And my response almost automatically was,

"Grind is a state of mind."

—

There is a Scottish mystic named Syd Banks that changed the game for me when I learned about a framework he created called The 3 Principles. The principles of Thought, Consciousness and Mind. Within the principle of Thought, he submitted that as humans, we are living in the feeling of our thinking. He claims that Thought creates Reality 100% of the time. Not 50% or 60% - we live in the feeling of our Thinking 100% of the time.

What.

When I heard that and let it settle within me, I knew there was something deeply profound about it. If we are living in the feeling of our thinking moment by moment, then our reality is not heavily dependent on our external circumstances. Not as much as we believe. Our feelings tell us about our thinking. And our feelings tell us about our perception of the moment. Lisa Feldman Barrett PhD, a neuroscientist pioneer in the study of emotions within the last decade, supplements this framework by Syd Banks. She makes a strong claim as to what emotions actually are. Essentially, her research states that emotions are guesses by the brain. Our brain is making guesses as to how our bodily emotions should react. And we have more control on our emotions than we perceive. See this TED Talk for more info>

So let's go back to this idea of the grind being a state of mind.

When you think of the word "grind", what thoughts come through? And what feelings do those thoughts come with?

If it's negative, your body might tighten up. You might feel a sense of constriction within your gut. Thoughts of previous burnout might enter your mind and those thoughts might reinforce unwanted feelings within your body. In this scenario, the idea of "grind" might be attached with this sense of heaviness and lack of freedom.

Now pause...

If we buy into what Banks and Barrett are claiming, then we ought to notice that our emotions and ways of being within this moment are merely guesses by the brain. In other words, our feelings are feedback within our body manifested by our brain, based on its hypothesis. Our frustration or constriction or anxiety in this moment are physically fabricated guesses. Our brain is guessing that our emotions should manifest this way. It's a guess. An estimation. A postulation. Speculation. It's not accurate. Guesses are not accurate. Guesses don't need to be reality.

Let's reconsider the word "grind" again.

Are there new thoughts and/or memories coming through that we can potentially associate with it? Has there been a time when we've enjoyed the "grind"?

If you're coming up empty, take a walk. Take 10 minutes. Open up your meditation app and do some breath exercises.

Are there new thoughts occurring?

For me, it's an easy yes.

Take this blog that I'm writing for example. When I started this blog a few minutes ago, this was a "grind" to write, meaning the words and ideas I wanted to express felt challenging to articulate. They just weren't flowing through.

These were the thoughts occurring to me:

"Ugh, this is taking too long and the ideas aren't coming through."

"What other emails should I read instead because this is too difficult."

"Writing once a week is difficult. Why am I doing this to myself?"

As I got present with these thoughts, they generated a feeling of restlessness in my body. I was walking around the room a lot. I felt frustrated in my gut. I felt myself closing up. I started to plan out the next thing I would do instead to escape this feeling.

So I paused. I acknowledged the reality this was creating for me the more I bought into these thoughts. I noticed what it was doing to my body. I paused. I took breaths. Paused. Took more breaths. Waited for new thoughts.

Something happened. New thoughts arrived. These words I'm writing are the new thoughts arriving. All of sudden, I'm just writing. And I feel myself kinda loosening up. I feel myself less attached to what this blog is supposed to look like and how long it's supposed to take. I'm just writing the words occurring to me and slowly losing track of time. At the beginning of writing this blog, I was constantly looking at the time and in this moment, I'm not sure how much time has passed since I last looked at the clock.

In this moment, the "grind" of writing kinda feels fun. My body just loosened up. I just took another breath, deep into my belly, stretched my chest and back, and let out a slow and long exhale. This is nice. One can say that I'm in flow right now. Interestingly enough, the song "Get Money" by Notorious B.I.G. just came on and there's a new groove I'm in. Oh yeah, I'm there.

In a moment, I'm going to scroll up and read what I've written so far. I don't know if it's going to be good. This missive might not make sense. There are probably edits I'll need to make. On a good day, I'll find all the errors and correct them. But I want to lock into my way of being right now. I feel loose, I feel detached from the outcome and anchored into the reasons why I write these missives. I connect to the enjoyment of the process of writing. I love writing. I don't always love the first part of writing, but at some point, the "grind" of it becomes a fun grind. Grind takes on a new meaning.

—

I want to leave you with this quote from an unknown source:

As you go forward this week, what if the magic you're looking for will be found when you lean into the grind? What might be on the other side of that? Perhaps failure, more learnings or even better, your most precious dreams. One thing I know for sure, you won't know until you search for yourself.

Go.

Be uncomfortable.

Get comfortable in the discomfort.

Lean in.

Learn.

Love.

Fiercely loving you,

Jomar

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