On this episode of Grind My Metal Gears: Directional microphones! Secret service agents! Disguises! And a Harrier! We also meet Solidus Snake for the first time, and also come to the startling realization that Vamp is just a Twilight vampire.

Raiden's continuing his journey through the Big Shell complex, meeting friends and foes along the way. We get our first major taste of Kojima's nominative determinism as we meet bomb defusal legend Peter Stillman, the very large bomb maker legend Fatman, learn the name of a very lucky lady named Fortune, and find out that Vamp may really be an immortal vampire? Along the way, we start to get the vibe that there may be more than meets the eye to Dead Cell's plans than what we've been told. Join us as we continue our journey of twists and turns in Big Shell in Metal Gear Solid 2!

Episode 9: Arsenal Tengu

Time to play some more Metal Gear Solid 2. Can't wait to keep playing as Solid Sna- hey wait a minute, who's this Raiden guy? Iroquois Pliskin? But that's clearly just S- hey, what do you mean there's a vampire guy? And he's bisexual?! Join us as we continue to unravel the many mysteries of what's going on in MGS2.

No breaks on the Metal Gear train! It's time for us to start a new game with Metal Gear Solid 2. This one's on the PS2! We spend sometime talking through our difficult choices, and some of the weird things hidden in the main menu before talking about our time with the game's opening tanker mission and the many insane things that happen during it (well let's be honest, one very specific weird thing).

We did it. We made it to the end of Metal Gear Solid. Time for all the last minute reveals and revelations, and few more fights before finally saying goodbye to Shadow Moses Island (for now? IDK. This is Austin writing this and I still have no idea what to expect in the rest of these games, lol).

Tune in next time for the start of MGS2!

Episode 6: Code Name Leopard

We're on to disc 2! After another fight with Vulcan Raven, it's on to the hangar for our first look at Metal Gear Rex. Then it's onto some good ol' PAL card nonsense. Tune in to find out which one of us had to deal with getting their PAL card eaten by a rat, and if you have no idea what that means, then get ready to learn something about MGS1 that plenty of people never see.

Snake is captured! Fortunately for us, this gives us our first chance to meet Liquid which really only raises more questions than it answers. After some cock and ball torture from Revolver Ocelot and a quick reunion with our BF Otacon, we manage to escape our cell (one of us with the aid of a ketchup bottle, and one of us with the good ol' hide-under-the-bed-and-hope-no-one-notices trick). Then it's off to the Metal Gear hangar again, but not before we fight Liquid in his Hind D (a Hind D?!) and have one last sniper showdown with Sniper Wolf.

After some important ass-staring, we finally begin our trek to the hangar where Metal Gear Rex lies, only to be interrupted by a psychic sicko who possesses our game consoles (which we're totally using by the way don't worry about it). Then after making friends with some wolf dogs and backtracking to find a sniper rifle, we face down again Sniper Wolf in a test of patience with the game's sniper controls only to get captured anyway.

We're back at it again on Shadow Moses Island. There's still a Metal Gear to stop, but first we've got to fight a tank and regrettably learn about the guy driving it. Fortunately, we also got to fight a cyber-ninja who actually turns out to be [REDACTED]. But most importantly we get to meet Snake's new boyfriend Otacon and learn about Japanimation.

Episode 2: Snotacon

Now that we've dug through the main menu for all its juicy info and lore, we can finally start playing MGS for real! We kick things off by getting our bearings on Shadow Moses Island before meeting the DARPA Chief (RIP) and the president of Armstech, Kenneth Baker (also RIP). And finally we face off against Revolver Ocelot and try not to get distracted by his sick gun flip tricks.

Episode 1: Stomach Cigarettes