Grit and Grace in the Heartland: Women In Agriculture

By Mary LewisSociety & Culture

Grit and Grace in the Heartland: Women In Agriculture episodes

February 20From Maine to the Microphone: Mary’s Story of Homesteading, Heart, and Finding Her Voice
In this heartfelt and laughter filled episode, Leah turns the tables and puts Mary in the hot seat. What unfolds is a powerful conversation about storytelling, homesteading, Maine roots, motherhood, migraines, and the leap into podcasting later in life.
This episode is part origin story, part friendship story, and part reminder that every person has something meaningful to share.
What We Talk About
Starting the day with intention
Mary and Leah reflect on why beginnings matter. From morning routines to ancestral wisdom, they explore how starting the day grounded instead of rushed can change everything.
Weather contrasts across the Heartland
Nebraska sun, Minnesota winter, and the surreal reality of 80 degree February days. They discuss shifting seasons and learning to focus only on what is within your control.
The science of laughter
Did you know spontaneous laughter can reduce stress levels by 36 percent? The women talk about why genuine laughter may be one of the most powerful forms of preventative health care and share simple ways to bring more of it into your daily life.
Mary’s Maine childhood
Growing up surrounded by pine trees, gardens, venison, wild blueberries, swimming holes, and storytelling. Mary shares how her parents shaped her curiosity and resilience, and how being raised in a modest but resourceful household built the foundation for her love of homesteading.
New England directness vs. Midwest nice
An honest and thoughtful conversation about communication styles, clarity, and how cultural differences shape relationships.
Why Mary started podcasting
As an empty nester navigating menopause and chronic migraines, Mary knew she needed a meaningful project. What began as a personal challenge turned into:
A Tiny Homestead
Grit and Grace in the Heartland
Mary shares how interviewing homesteaders, farmers, and makers became both a creative outlet and a way to elevate rural voices.
Behind the scenes of podcasting
Mary walks through the real process of recording, editing, and publishing episodes using tools like:
Riverside
Audacity
Podbean
Listeners get a glimpse into the time, cost, and heart required to produce meaningful content.
The value of sponsorship and support
A candid discussion about the reality that quality content is not free to produce. Mary and Leah encourage listeners to thoughtfully consider sponsorship opportunities that sustain independent creators.
Homesteading ingenuity
From repurposed treadle sewing machines to seed planners and reindeer stories, the conversation celebrates creativity and the spirit of making do with what you have.
Themes You’ll Hear
Curiosity as a lifelong gift
Making your mess your message
The power of rural storytelling
Resourcefulness over wealth
Friendship formed through shared purpose
Women supporting women in agriculture
Laughter as medicine
Memorable Moments
Mary’s mother meeting her father at a USO dance and knowing immediately he was the one
Swimming to the dock to prove she could swim
Growing up poor but never feeling poor
Being told “Why isn’t it an A plus plus?”
Selling goats across state lines because of a podcast interview
The Valentine’s Day mini cow joke
A Gentle Reminder
As Easter approaches, resist the temptation to impulse buy chicks or ducklings unless you are truly prepared for the responsibility. Homesteading is joyful, but it requires commitment.
Connect With Us
Visit A Tiny Homestead on Podbean
If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with a friend or exploring sponsorship opportunities to support independent rural storytelling.
Thank you for spending your morning with us.
Go forward today with grit, grace, and maybe a little more laughter.
54 min
February 16From Non Ag to Sandhills Prairie Girl
In this heartfelt episode, Mary and Leah welcome Nicole, creator of Sandhills Prairie Girl, joining from the breathtaking Nebraska Sandhills. What begins as lighthearted weather talk turns into a deeply meaningful conversation about marriage, ranch life, faith, creativity, and finding beauty in wide open spaces.
Nicole shares how a non agriculture girl from Cozad, Nebraska, fell in love with a rancher and stepped into a life she never imagined. From clobbering her head on a gate to fainting during her first prolapse experience, her introduction to ranch life was anything but gentle. Yet 23 years later, she cannot imagine raising her family anywhere else.
From Non Ag to Ranch Wife
Nicole opens up about:
Moving 200 miles west into the rugged Nebraska Sandhills
Marrying not only her husband, but the ranch itself
Learning the financial realities of ranching versus a weekly paycheck
Adjusting to spring calving season immediately after her February wedding
The emotional and practical challenges of rural isolation
She speaks honestly about how transformative that shift was and how commitment, communication, counseling, family support, and faith helped sustain her marriage.
Her transparency around marriage counseling and seeking help in agriculture communities is powerful. She emphasizes that asking for help is not weakness. It is wisdom.
The Art Behind the Lens
Nicole’s photography has become a daily ritual for thousands who begin their mornings with her page.
She shares:
Receiving a Fisher Price 35mm camera in third grade
Teaching herself DSLR photography beyond auto mode
Learning manual settings to capture the night sky
Chasing her dream shot of the Milky Way over a Sandhills windmill
Building her skills through online courses and practice
With almost zero light pollution, the Sandhills offer her a canvas of stars, curves, shadow, and light. She describes the hills as showing off their curves at sunrise.
Her audience spans the globe, from Italy to Australia, from former Sandhills residents to lifelong Nebraska lovers. Some follow for ranch life, others for hymns, and many for the peace her page brings.
Hymns, Healing, and Faith
One of the most beloved features of Nicole’s page is her Sunday hymn posts.
She shares the deeply personal story behind them:
Growing up in a strict Christian household
Rebelling from faith in early adulthood
Experiencing her parents’ divorce shortly after her marriage
Feeling her spiritual foundation crumble during her transition into ranch life
Finding her way back to a faith that became her own
The hymns she shares are not random selections. They are rooted in memory, music, and healing. Many were written during intense personal trials, which makes them even more meaningful.
Through photography and hymn research, Nicole has found redemption in parts of her story that once felt broken.
The Beauty of the Sandhills
The Nebraska Sandhills are often described as untouched and singular. Visitors from New York City to Wisconsin stand in awe of the vastness.
In this episode, the conversation also explores:
The migration of sandhill cranes along the Platte River
Trumpeter swans wintering in western Nebraska
The way light moves across grass covered dunes
The feeling of standing somewhere so open it makes you feel small
Nicole describes the Sandhills as magical and fragile. A place of both beauty and difficulty. Not for everyone, but life changing for those who truly see it.
What Is Ahead for Sandhills Prairie Girl
Nicole hints at a dream for the future: expanding her Sunday hymn posts into a devotional or coffee table style book featuring longer reflections and full page photography.
She continues to:
Publish annual calendars featuring her photography
Share regularly on Facebook and Instagram
Connect with readers across the world
Why This Episode Matters
This conversation is about more than ranch life.
It is about:
The courage to seek help in marriage
Faith that evolves and deepens over time
The beauty of rural America
Creative expression as healing
Stewardship of land and legacy
Nicole’s vulnerability reminds us that grit and grace are often woven together quietly, in places far from the spotlight.
Connect with Nicole
Follow Sandhills Prairie Girl on:
Facebook
Look for her annual calendars and upcoming creative projects.
If you loved this episode, share it with a friend and help us continue amplifying the voices of women in agriculture.
Find Mary and Leah at:
Facebook: Grit and Grace in the Heartland Women in Agriculture
Website: gritandgraceintheheartland.com
Thank you for spending time with us.
Until next time, live with grit and grace.
49 min
February 13 Finding Community in the Fields with Tracy of HarvestHer
Mary and Leah welcome Tracy from Harvest Her in Nebraska for a heartfelt conversation about community, identity, and the unique challenges facing women in agriculture.
The episode opens with a very real ranch moment as Leah shares about getting knocked down by her daughter’s 4-H market heifer. From bumps and bruises to deeper reflections, the conversation quickly turns to something many women quietly carry: the need for connection and safe community.
In This Episode
• Leah’s run-in with a Hereford heifer and the lessons that followed
• Why women in agriculture often put themselves last
• The origin story of Harvest Her and how it grew from a Facebook page into a nine-year retreat community
• The power of gathering, from quilting circles to modern retreats
• Why community is more necessary now than ever, even in a hyper-connected world
• The guilt many women feel about stepping away from home to invest in themselves
• Identity struggles tied to agriculture, family roles, and retirement
• The realities of custom harvesting life, including traveling from Texas to Canada following the wheat harvest
• How regulations and industry changes have reshaped custom harvesting over the decades
• Why small, intimate gatherings can create deeper connection
• The importance of modeling work-life balance for the next generation
About Harvest Her
Harvest Her began in 2016 as a Facebook page created to spotlight and support the wives of custom harvesters. It has since evolved into a broader community for women connected to farming, ranching, and agriculture across the United States and Canada.
At its heart, Harvest Her is about creating a safe place where women can talk openly about family, faith, identity, burnout, purpose, and everything in between.
The annual Harvest Her Retreat is now entering its ninth year and will be held in late February near Ashland, Nebraska. The retreat hosts approximately 20 to 24 women for three days of:
• Fellowship and meaningful conversation
• Encouragement and personal growth
• Meals prepared on-site
• A relaxed schedule with room to rest
• A special Texas barbecue night
• A no-judgment, what-happens-here-stays-here environment
Industry sponsors help keep the cost accessible so finances are not a barrier to attendance.
A Deeper Theme: Community Over Isolation
Throughout the episode, Mary, Leah, and Tracy reflect on how:
• Women report feeling more disconnected despite technology
• Hyper-independence has replaced relational living
• Guilt often keeps women from saying yes to personal growth opportunities
• Identity tied solely to work or agriculture can become fragile
• Community is not a luxury but a necessity
As Tracy shares, many women hesitate before attending. Nearly all who come say it was one of the best decisions they made for themselves and their families.
Learn More
To find more information or register for the upcoming retreat:
Facebook: Harvest Her
Website: harvesther.com
You can also connect with us at:
gritandgraceintheheartland.com
Facebook: Grit and Grace in the Heartland Women in Agriculture
If you are sitting on the fence about investing in yourself, consider this your encouragement. Community matters. You are worth the time.
Until next time, have some grit and grace.
45 min
February 09Weather wisdom, tradition, agriculture, and the enduring relevance of The Old Farmer’s Almanac
In this episode, Mary and Leah sit down with Carol Connare, Editor-in-Chief of The Old Farmer’s Almanac, for a wide-ranging and thoughtful conversation about weather patterns, gardening, agriculture, livestock management by the signs, print publishing in a digital world, and why timeless wisdom still matters.
From bitter cold in Minnesota to snowstorms in New Hampshire, the discussion weaves personal experience with centuries-old observation, reminding us why working with nature rather than against it still matters.
🧭 Key Topics and Highlights
00:00–01:30 | Introductions and Weather Check
Meet Carol Connare, Editor-in-Chief of The Old Farmer’s Almanac
Current weather in New Hampshire compared to Minnesota
Cold snaps, wind chills, and winter realities for farmers and ranchers
01:30–03:30 | Weather Weirdness and Gardening Challenges
Why it sometimes snows when it seems too cold for snow
Jet stream changes, moisture patterns, and rapid precipitation
How erratic weather has impacted gardens over recent years
03:30–05:00 | Clearing Up the Almanac Confusion
The difference between The Old Farmer’s Almanac and The Farmer’s Almanac
Confirmation that The Old Farmer’s Almanac is alive, well, and thriving
Business model differences and why confusion persists
05:00–06:30 | Writing for the Almanac
Anyone can submit article ideas and written pieces
Writer guidelines, long lead times, and working far ahead
Why good ideas still matter even if they are for future editions
06:30–08:00 | Carol’s Path to the Almanac
From Yankee Magazine to academia to a return to publishing
Gardening, teaching, and editorial work shaping her perspective
Landing her dream job later in her career
08:00–11:30 | Readership, Demographics, and Print’s Comeback
Over 2.5 million copies published annually, including a Canadian edition
Average reader age, strong loyalty, and multigenerational readership
Reprints triggered by confusion around the closure of The Farmer’s Almanac
Why print is resurging in a screen-saturated culture
11:30–14:30 | Using the Almanac and Reader Engagement
The Almanac as an ongoing conversation with readers
Lifelong subscribers and personal reader interactions
Helping people better understand how to use the Almanac
14:30–17:30 | Livestock, Farming, and Working by the Signs
Leah explains using lunar signs for weaning calves
Reduced stress, calmer cattle, and improved outcomes
Emergency room data, full moons, and gravitational forces
Moon phases, soil movement, tides, and plant growth
17:30–19:30 | Folklore, Science, and Flow
Astronomy and astrology as shared sciences historically
Folklore as observation and experience rather than superstition
Stepping into natural rhythms instead of trying to control outcomes
19:30–22:30 | Women, History, and the “Landladies” Feature
Women-founded and women-run gardens highlighted in the 2026 issue
How the Landladies feature came together
Reflections on the evolving role of women in agriculture and culture
22:30–25:30 | Tradition, Faith, and Respect for Creation
Oral history, handwritten diaries, and generational knowledge
Faith, stewardship, and intentional design in nature
Why working against natural systems often creates consequences
25:30–27:30 | Why the Almanac Still Matters
The Almanac costs less than a specialty coffee
Elderberry syrup, first-aid plants, and natural remedies
Younger audiences rediscovering traditional knowledge
27:30–29:30 | Almanac Tools and Online Resources
Website: almanac.com
Free tools including frost dates, soil calculators, mulch calculators, and maps
Commitment to 100 percent human-created content
Social media presence on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest
29:30–30:00 | Closing Thoughts
Gratitude for shared wisdom and conversation
Encouragement to stay safe during extreme weather
Final reminder to lead with grit and grace
The Old Farmer’s Almanac: https://www.almanac.com
Shop the Almanac: https://www.almanac.com/shop
Free Tools: https://www.almanac.com/tools
Available in print, large print, Kindle, and barn-friendly editions
31 min
February 06The Birth of Clear Creek Ranch Mom: Crisis, Community, and Finding Your Voice
In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Leah shares the full origin story of Clear Creek Ranch Mom, a journey born not from strategy or branding, but from crisis, heartbreak, resilience, and an unshakable desire to help.
What began as a quiet, dormant Facebook page in 2018 was forever changed by the historic March 2019 bomb cyclone and flooding in Nebraska. Leah walks listeners through that terrifying day as Clear Creek transformed from a familiar, peaceful waterway into a raging river, cutting off roads, sweeping away livestock, destroying infrastructure, and altering lives across rural Nebraska.
Through raw storytelling, Leah reflects on fear, loss, impossible decisions, and the emotional toll placed on ranching families. She also shares how humor, honesty, and community became lifelines in the aftermath, and how Clear Creek Ranch Mom evolved into a trusted voice for agriculture, advocacy, and connection far beyond Nebraska.
This episode is a testament to the power of showing up, telling the truth, and becoming a helper when it matters most.
⏱️ Episode Highlights
00:00–03:30 – Life updates, winter woes, and a very sneaky dog named Maggie
03:34–06:30 – The quiet beginnings of Clear Creek Ranch Mom and Leah’s love of writing
06:30–10:15 – Nebraska winters, frozen ground, and the lead-up to the bomb cyclone
10:15–16:30 – The flood unfolds: rising water, impossible choices, and protecting family
16:30–21:30 – Livestock in danger, community coordination, and the moment everything changed
21:30–25:30 – Aftermath, loss, and realizing how widespread the devastation truly was
25:30–29:00 – Clear Creek Ranch Mom becomes a hub for help, resources, and connection
29:00–35:30 – Long-term impacts on mental health, agriculture, and rural communities
35:30–40:30 – From survival to storytelling: humor, advocacy, and finding your voice
40:30–44:30 – Agriculture misconceptions, activism, and the importance of collective voices
44:30–End – Resilience, helpers, Mr. Rogers, and looking ahead to what’s next
Memorable Themes
Finding purpose through crisis
The unseen emotional labor of farming and ranching
Community resilience in rural America
Why telling your story matters, especially when it’s hard
“Look for the helpers” in times of disaster
Humor as survival
Advocacy rooted in lived experience
About Clear Creek Ranch Mom
Clear Creek Ranch Mom began as a place for Leah to share writing and photos, but became a trusted, unfiltered voice for agriculture after the 2019 floods. Today, it connects people across the country through honesty, humor, education, and advocacy for farming and ranching families.
Follow Leah:
Facebook: Clear Creek Ranch Mom
Instagram: @clearcreekranchmom
🔗 Connect With the Show
Visit: gritandgraceintheheartland.com
If this episode moved you, reminded you of your own storm, or helped you understand agriculture a little better, please consider sharing it with a friend.
Until next time,
Have some grit and grace.
48 min
February 02Life After the Cows: Grief, Grit, and Finding Grace with Richelle
Guest: Richelle, Prairie Crocus Creative
Episode Summary
In this deeply moving and honest episode of Grit and Grace in the Heartland, Mary and Leah welcome their very first guest, Richelle, a Montana ranch woman, writer, photographer, speaker, and advocate for women in agriculture.
Rochelle shares her personal journey growing up on a multi-generation ranch near the Canadian border, building a cattle herd with her husband, and ultimately facing one of the hardest realities in agriculture: selling the cows. Through drought, loss, grief, and major life pivots, Rochelle speaks candidly about identity, heartbreak, resilience, and the quiet strength it takes to keep going.
This episode explores the realities many ag families live but rarely talk about, generational succession struggles, mental health in rural America, grief that doesn’t always have neat endings, and the courage it takes to tell your story anyway.
What We Talk About
Growing up ranching in northern Montana
Life as a woman in agriculture and raising kids on the ranch
The emotional reality of selling a cow herd
Grief, identity, and “life after the cows”
Why “they’re just cows” misses the point entirely
Writing, photography, and storytelling as healing
Building an authentic online community
Why vulnerability matters more than perfection
Mental health in agriculture and rural communities
Suicide prevention awareness and QPR training
Generational succession challenges on family operations
Finding purpose when life doesn’t go as planned
About Richelle
Richelle is the creator behind Prairie Crocus Creative, where she shares photography, essays, poetry, and reflections rooted in ranch life, motherhood, grief, and grace. Her work resonates far beyond agriculture, reaching readers across the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.
She is also a certified QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) suicide prevention trainer, passionate about helping people move beyond surface-level conversations and truly see one another.
Richelle’s Books
Anthology – A photo-driven collection of poems, essays, and love letters to ranch life and women in agriculture
You’re Gonna Make It – A smaller, devotional-style book centered on hope, grief, and reassurance during hard seasons
Both books are available on her website.
Find Richelle
Facebook: Prairie Crocus Creative
Website: www.prairiecrocuscreative.com
Find the Hosts
Mary:
gritandgraceintheheartland.com
Facebook: A Tiny Homestead & Mary Evelyn Lewis
Leah:
Facebook & Instagram: Clear Creek Ranch Mom
A Note to Listeners
This episode contains honest discussion around grief, loss, and mental health in agriculture. If you or someone you love is struggling, please know you are not alone, and that life does continue, even when it looks nothing like what you imagined.
As Richelle reminds us:
“If you have to sell the cows… there is still life after that.”
Closing
Thank you for listening to Grit and Grace in the Heartland.
Until next time, may you walk forward with both grit and grace.
00:00
Mary and I'm Leah and welcome to Grit and Grace in the Heartland. Good morning Leah. Good morning Mary. How are you? I'm good. I'm excited. We have our first guest, a woman in agriculture, Richelle Barrett today and she is at Prairie Crocus Creative on Facebook and she's in Montana. Good morning Richelle. How are you? Good morning. I'm good. Glad to be here.

00:26
I'm so excited to have our first guest. Leah, are you all ready for this? Me too. And this lady sets the bar high, Mary. So here we go. Well, Richelle, um what's your role as a woman in agriculture? So I grew up on the Caris Ranch, South of Haber, Montana, which if you don't know where that is, we are just about 40 miles south of the Canadian border.

00:57
about 100 miles east of Great Falls, which would be our closest uh metropolis, I guess. So I grew up doing all sorts of stuff on the ranch. I rode and loved doing anything with the cows. When I was in middle school or high school, got into 4-H and showed.

01:24
and really enjoyed showing steers and my passion was showing horses. I just really grew up, my mom was quite a horse woman and so I really enjoyed being, once I got over being scared of them, I just really loved doing anything horseback. And then I went to college for two years in Palo Wyoming and got a degree in horse training, came back home and got married to my high school sweetheart.

01:54
and went back to school at the local college here in Haver and got a degree in basically egg business. And then after we got married, after we'd been married for about a year, we moved back out to my mom and dad's place and started kind of working into the operation. Over time, we bought our own herd of cattle. My husband started a trucking business where he was um

02:23
There are a lot of serendipitous, I guess, relationships that he made. He was hauling cattle and uh grain and hay. And so we really were involved in a lot every day. then once we had our kiddos, we were both working full time in town. And it just got to be an awful lot. And my husband finally came back to work to my folks.

02:52
In 2014 or 2015, suppose, and uh ran a trucking business. We had our herd of and we were in a thick bit. I've always had a job outside of the operation, but was able to work on the weekends and after work and all the things.

03:20
When COVID hit, actually ended up leaving my job in town and was able to find work from home, which was great because, you know, then I could go ride my horse whenever I wanted to, and I could help out during calving and averaging. So that was really, really great. Then in 2022, we had to, my husband and had to sell our cows. We had really bad drought here.

03:50
And we had lost one lease where we kept, where we summer pastured our cows like the year before. And then in 2022, where we were leasing, the other place we were leasing, there had been no rain, there was no grass. And so we agreed with the land owner that we wouldn't bring cows back down there and we just couldn't find anywhere else for them to go. So.

04:20
At that time, we sold our herd because we didn't own anything within my parents' place. We didn't own anything, didn't have anywhere to go with our cattle or anything. um at that time, my husband went back to work and off the operation. And so it's just been kind of a shift the last couple of years. um I had worked for my folks for a

04:49
for a summer and then just working with family can be really difficult. And we decided that it would be best if we, if I didn't just went back to working in town. And so that's kind of where we're at now. We're kind of in a holding pattern. Yeah, I still, as far as being involved in AgNow, it's shifted to, I have done a little bit of public speaking.

05:19
really passionate about helping women in agriculture tell their share, share their story, excuse me. Um, basically the more that I am around other families and women in aid, there's a very consistent theme of situations like mine that we really don't talk about. You know, we don't share about that hard stuff. Um, and it might not all look the same, but we all can understand how that feels.

05:50
And I feel like we have a, my generation and generations coming up that have some really interesting perspectives. And I think that it's, it's going to be even more important for us to continue to share our stories like you guys are doing and whatever that looks like. it's just really important for me to encourage other people to do that. So I have my Facebook page.

06:18
and also my website, which is just kind of a reflection of the Facebook page. But I'm just trying to share. don't share a lot of um things about what's going on in agriculture because I'm not in it every day. But I share from a different perspective of like raising kids and it's kind of in between situation. And um I think every story is important. So that's kind of where I'm at today.

06:49
Okay, as Leah gently schooled me back when I interviewed her for my other podcast the first time, we are not supposed to ask how many head of cattle a rancher has. But when you sold your cattle, was it a lot or was it a small herd? um It was a lot for us, considering that we didn't have any ground that we owned.

07:17
I don't want to say it because I can't remember exactly how many we had. But it was a lot. And I don't mean like four or 500, but I mean for a small starting out family for us, it was a whole lot of heartache, is what I tell people. That was the worst day of my life, to be honest.

07:45
So it's really interesting to be on the other side of that because I look back on things that I posted about before we got rid of our cows and how naive I was about, know, it just like, man, I could never imagine my life if I didn't have cows and now being on the other side of that and being like, holy crap, life still goes on. There is life. It's like life after love, I guess, you know, life still has to go on. It's just, it's just different. So yeah, it was.

08:15
It was a big loss for us. Yeah, I guessed that it probably was, but I wanted to confirm that because a lot of people outside of ag don't realize how much heart and soul goes into whatever it is that you're doing in agriculture. Right. Yep. And it, it's hard, um, because we have several friends who are our age and have kind of

08:43
You know, they're, working into their family operations. have their own herds and they just, they don't like my friends feel like they don't know what to say around me. Um, and it's fine better. Um, but the first couple of years, you know, I was heartbroken and I know that I probably was not very much fine to be around because it just was like, I mean, it was like losing part of myself.

09:10
And that's hard to explain to people that aren't involved in it. I think because there is this idea, they're just livestock or, you know, they're, just, they're just cows. Like you can't really be that attached to them, but every one of them becomes a part of you and that part of your operation becomes part of you. And it's, it's like anything that you love. If you have to let it go, it's hard, you know? So trying to.

09:40
I've written a lot. I've had a lot of grief in the last couple of years that we've gone through. so m sometimes I feel like my Facebook page has become more about grief and like grieving and trying to get through that. But I think that that's just part of that process of like, there is life after we lose the things that we think make our, make who we are. And so that's

10:07
That has been a big shift for me in what I share and what my quote unquote advocating for agriculture is because not everybody gets to remain on the family operation and for whatever reason. And so I think it's important that we have, that we understand that we're not the only ones going through that, also that other people realize that that is a, that's a truly life altering event.

10:36
So that's kind of where, I guess, the story that I'm sharing now. Fabulous. Leah, you got any questions for Rochelle? Hi. She and I could talk all day, and I have such a high amount of respect for this lady. Her Facebook page says, moment capture word Smith, chaos coordinator, speaker, and advocate.

11:02
One of the things I admire most about Rochelle is her ability to convey feelings with art, which are the gift she has with her camera, through her lens, and also as a wordsmith. um I am blessed because I know Rochelle's personal stories, the things that she's not able to write about for any number of reasons. But she's able to thread elements of those things through

11:32
the work she does with her camera and with her words that resonate far and wide with an audience that in some cases doesn't look anything like her. so I think it would be fun for her to share a little bit about her audience as it's grown over the years and maybe a little bit, a snippet maybe from the audience that she has grown and gathered and the similarities and differences. uh

12:02
that are fun to share with our ag audience, as well as those listening in who maybe don't have an agriculture background to understand just how connected this community really is. So that's what I would like to hear about. Yeah. So, I apologize, my voice is trying to leave me here today. But when I first started blogging, I guess we'd call it back in the day.

12:32
Um, I kind of started after my second daughter was born and my oldest daughter was a monster. She still is. God bless her. Um, but she was just one of those kids who was into everything and it was just so funny, uh, without even trying, you know, so I started writing these funny little stories about her on my personal Facebook page, cause I just would get such a kick out of it or.

13:01
the things she'd say, like she'd be looking out the living room window and be yelling at the bulls and um just these funny little things. And so I had a friend at the time that I worked with who is an incredible writer and she had her own website and page on Facebook. And she's like, Rochelle, you got to start sharing this stuff. She's like, you're just really good at this. I people can relate to it. So one winter evening in

13:30
2014, I remember laying on the floor after my girls went to bed and trying to figure out how to start a website. And so I got that going and started a Facebook page and which had a different name at the time. And it was like my mom and a couple of gals I worked with and uh a couple of like obscure Facebook friends. And I would share just like it was

14:00
a lot more pictures with sayings at the time because I was like, don't know who reads this. I'm not going to put a lot of time into it. Well, then I would start to share some poetry or different things. And then of course, then we had more cows and we were busy with that. The girls were getting a little bit older. We were able to come with us and do more on the branch. I had pictures from

14:27
moving cows and all just all the things. And so the more of that that I shared and the more that I kind of just started like telling people what we were doing. I had no intention of like having this huge Facebook page. em I just shared because I thought it was fun. Like it was fun to share pretty pictures. And so over time, it has grown far more than I ever expected. m

14:57
There have, it has been a very interesting journey. Um, when I was younger, I was a lot more uh willing to fight with people on the internet, I guess. Um, I remember there being things that I shared and people would, you know, how we all have those trolls or people that, you know, want to tell us how wrong we are. And I would literally lose sleep over it.

15:27
And I kind of finally had an epiphany like that was not what I wanted to do. Um, I wanted to be a writer. I didn't want to fight with people online. And so I don't know, it's probably, probably around 2020 when I started working from home. Um, I was actually involved. I was working for a, like a agriculture marketing company online and.

15:57
I felt like by that time I had a much bigger audience and I really wanted to, I don't know, use it as more of a creative outlet versus being a regurgitation of what other people on the internet were already sharing. So that's kind of when it shifted from, I don't wanna say like,

16:26
I guess I just started sharing more of my personal experience and what I was going through. And I try not to just talk about cows or just the kids. I try to really, because everything is interconnected. And to me, everything in my life, it's all like a big pot of spaghetti, spaghetti noodles, and it's all interconnected. And so...

16:55
I felt like that really started when I started doing that and being more authentic to who I am and to what I really loved and could connect with people at what I call like this heart level. That was when my Facebook really took off. And then especially after we lost our cows, I lost my cousin in a tragic A to B accident. My writing really shifted to a lot like I had said before to a lot of

17:24
grief, um dealing with that. that really, that was kind of when like, I think people saw me as a person versus just like this Facebook page. um And so it's been really interesting to watch. I have people who I know have followed my page from the very beginning, which is really crazy. Like Leah, I mean, we've

17:52
know each other through Facebook for a very long time because of our cages. And it's been really cool because I've had a lot of opportunities come about because of sharing my story online. It's very intimidating. And sometimes I write things and I sit there and I pray about it and I think, ah, I don't know that I really want to share this. And sometimes those are the ones that connect with people the most. uh

18:19
It can be really hard to be vulnerable online. And I am very lucky, incredibly lucky to have an audience that is extremely kind. I don't know how I lucked out because it's not very, very common to have a page and not just have like vitriol and that kind of stuff, which I know.

18:47
Leah sees a lot of that. And so I don't know if it's just because I...

18:55
don't share a lot of what's going on in the world. Like I share what's going on in my little world. But I just have a really incredible audience. so they're, you know, like this morning I forgot to post and I was like, oh no, everybody's going to wonder what happened because I haven't posted in a couple of days. ah But sometimes I've also found that it's okay to take time away from it. So I have a really interesting audience. have

19:25
people that follow my page from Australia and New Zealand. I have a lot of Canadians in Saskatchewan and Alberta because we have a lot of the same, you know, carving, ranching. m And I'm only from our front door, it's about 15 miles to the Canadian border. So I like to see people that I'm basically Canadian, but I'm not, but it's just,

19:54
It's funny how em people spread all over the place. And I'm always amazed when people say where they're from and why they're following my page. It is really interesting. em But I am very fortunate to have a very positive group of people that follow my page. And that makes it worthwhile to me. And it makes me want to keep doing it.

20:20
Yeah, Rochelle, I'm going to jump in first. Again, I don't think you lucked out. I think you're a kind person and like attracts like. Mm-hmm. 100%. I appreciate that. I tried to. Yeah, and Leah and I have been talking an awful lot in our episodes about AI slop basically and how AI is hard to, it's hard to know what AI is when you look at it. Hard to, hard to. Yeah.

20:49
Hard to identify whether what you're looking at is AI or if it's real. And so Leah and I have talked a lot about being real. And I looked at your Facebook page and I looked at your blog and you're real. So that's, I think that's part of why, because that's what comes across. And uh I hate being vulnerable on the podcast because every time I do it, I cry. And whoever I'm talking with cries with me and it's just a mess.

21:18
I'm probably going to cause it again. I had a really good friend back a few years ago and I met her when she was in her late 60s and she passed away a couple years ago before I started my other podcast. So she never knew that I had become a podcaster. And it makes me so sad that she doesn't, she wasn't around when I did it. And she have loved it.

21:49
Yeah, it's really hard to lose people who have made a huge impact in our lives. when the year my cousin passed away, we also lost another very dear friend of our family's. it just puts things in a different perspective and you realize how certain people

22:19
hold your families together or they are, you don't even realize how much impact they've made on your life. And so. oh

22:32
I think, you know, when we lose those people, it just, ugh, it's so hard and I'm not going to cry. But yeah, gosh dang, I'm sorry. That is, it's really hard. You know, I think about my cousin, um, just kids were, mean, they're the young high school, middle school age and all the things he's missing out on, the things they're missing out on him.

23:01
my other friends, just the things that, oh, it just is so hard. And it just is so unfair. And I tell myself often, you know, when I get really down about having to smell the cows and stuff, I think, well, I still have my family, still have my husband, my kids are healthy, you know, there's a lot of people going through a lot, hurt or things. But then I also have to remind myself that our grief,

23:32
is it's important to you and the things that we go through shape who we are. it's, it's just part of us is it's eating. And so I really, I think that that has become just part of, it's become part of who I am. And some days I write about it and it's really raw and it's really hard. And then some days, you know,

24:01
It's just like anything, time begins to soften the edges. But yeah, it's hard. You wish that those people could see what you're doing now, or because you know that they would have supported that so much and they would have just thought that was the greatest thing ever. And... she would have been my biggest cheerleader. And I want to tell the listener that if you meet someone in your life who you think...

24:28
is going to die before you do, you're going to outlive them, and that makes you afraid to be their friend. Don't be afraid, be their friend. Amen to that. If I can interject, Mary. Yes, ma'am. One of the reasons that I appreciate Rochelle is, well, she's kinder than I am. I've learned a lot from her. And if I could be helpful in sharing things that Rochelle

24:58
just enough to share without betraying any confidences. Statistically speaking, marriages and families don't survive some of the things that Rochelle has been through. And I know people who have chosen to end their lives by losing their cow herd. know marriages that did not survive that kind of stress. So while there are many people listening who are

25:26
probably nodding their heads and understanding what I'm describing. There are definitely people listening to who, again, be like, as she said, well, they're just cows. It's really, really hard to convey the depth of those kinds of things happening in a multi-generation family operation that change you forever.

25:54
I appreciate how Rachelle always says that that grief kind of softens around the edges over time. And still you are forever changed. And one of the reasons I love her so much is that she has chosen to use her own personal heartache to encourage others. And she did not have to do that. She could hold it all close and not speak of it, or maybe hold it only close enough to her nearest friends and neighbors. But she hasn't. She put it out there.

26:23
for the whole world to read about and understand in on her terms. And I am certain that she could write 10 more layers about it if she ever chose to. um But I can't understate.

26:40
just the amount of personal sacrifice to even tell such a story. em Because that event for her family did forever change them and so much more in her own personal journey as a female in agriculture.

27:04
The fact that she has chosen to use it for the greater good and helping encourage another who's walking in the proverbial same work boots speaks to who she is as a person. And it is not easy because I call them the nosy neighbors who are always just waiting there on the sidelines to just see what you're talking about, who have their own judgments, their own theories, their own ideas about why what has happened to you has happened to you and what you should have done about it. The woulda coulda shoulda.

27:34
who never offer to help you with any of it, but always have that judgment. It is not easy to do that. And what Rochelle and I have shared with other writers, you we aren't writing for the people in our backyard. We're writing for all of the women out there, the ones in Australia, the ones in Canada, the ones down the road who are looking to feel a little bit less alone, who have walked the same hard walk. uh So I...

28:02
I just feel like it's important for our listeners to understand the depths of what Rochelle has walked through the last number of years and so much more, and that she has transitioned it into two truly works of art as a way to express it and help others. Rochelle, are you going to maybe write a book or a memoir someday about what happened with you? Potentially. Maybe a long time down the road,

28:32
It's funny, the older I get and the more things that my family goes through.

28:42
I'm kind of a hold a grudge kind of person and I hate to admit that. I'm not as bad as I used to be, but it's a learned behavior too. Something I learned from a very young age. And the older I get and the more...

29:05
things that happen and the more conversations I have and the more I share on Facebook, the more I realize that there's always three sides to every story. you know, God's always somewhere in the middle of all of it, trying to teach you a lesson. so someday, maybe, I hate to, it's hard because I,

29:33
I just actually, Leah just shared something yesterday on Facebook about it was a gentleman had written about like family succession and how the older generation sees letting go. They see it as losing everything and the younger generation feels controlled and instead of.

30:00
feeling, just to make it concise, I guess. That article was so on point. And so it's really hard. Like my story is my story. That's my perspective. It's what I've lived through, what I feel. m My parents' story is completely different because they're the way they see things, the way that

30:28
Um, even between my parents, it's completely different. So I think, and I think that's just why I share what I do because I understand. I understand that not every family is going through the same thing, but in some way we all kind of have the same, every generation kind of can relate to, you know, certain things. em and I respect.

30:57
that my parents and my grandparents, like what they've gone through, I can't even begin to wrap my head around it because I didn't have to live through so many of those things. But it's really hard when they're not willing to step back and even consider, you know, like, we could do this and stuff. We're not trying to force you off the place or we're not trying to. m

31:27
make everything run it into the dirt. It's just, it's so hard because I think sometimes the generation gap can be so difficult to overcome. And some families are really, really good at it. Some families have really great communication. In some, like my parents' age, generations are super progressive. They're super willing to change and try anything.

31:57
them or not. em So maybe in time, eventually, I may write more about my situation. em But it's really hard, I feel like to not like I don't step on my parents toes. And it's not all their fault. They've done the best in a lot of ways they have done the best they can do with what they know, and what they're comfortable with. And I, I don't hold that against them anymore. It's just where do we move on from here?

32:27
And so like succession planning and mental health especially is something that I'm very passionate about. And I'm trying to use my page and my words and even my pictures to try to just help people. uh Because I think that we are in a time where people are more connected than ever, yet we've never been more isolated.

32:56
Like we self-isolate ourselves m because it's scary to have vulnerable conversations. It's scary to...

33:08
share when things aren't all roses. And I don't know about you guys, but I don't think any day in farming and ranching is all roses. It doesn't matter how great the day is, there's always something that goes wrong. And I just think that that's an important thing that as we're advocating for agriculture, eh that we find some way to do that in a positive manner and to respect the generations that came before her.

33:38
but also encourage the generations that are coming up and hopefully that we can continue to provide the opportunity for our kids. You know, I look at my kids and I think, I don't know. I don't know that they're going to want to come back to this because they have not seen a positive situation out of a lot of what has happened. Um, and

34:07
I've seen it with a lot of other families just in my area. You know, I think I don't know, is it going to end with us? Is it going to end with my generation? Um, which I hope not. I hope that in some way my generation can do a better job of, of being willing to communicate and being willing to try new things so that we can continue to have these places in our family for many years to come. Because without that, it's just.

34:37
hard to, I don't want to think about it. I tell myself a lot that like, just can't imagine if, if those of us in farming and ranching family operations can't get our, get over ourselves or get, get our stuff together. Like there isn't going to be family operations in the next couple of generations. Cause it's just, it's a hard thing. Um, sometimes I envy people who didn't grow up in it.

35:08
you know, who are starting out on their own because they don't have to overcome their family, the previous generations. And sometimes I have found that to be the biggest challenge. um when you have, whenever things are on your shoulders, then you are the one that makes all those decisions. You do what's best for you. And that's exactly what our parents and grandparents did. And so, um,

35:38
Yeah, succession is really hard and it's something that I don't know. I would go through it differently. maybe someday I'll write a book that might help. But right now I'm just like, don't have a very positive way to spend that to help people. yeah, that's why I asked in the future. and Rochelle, I know you and Leah know each other better than you and I know each other.

36:05
But I just have to tell you, I'm so proud of you for getting through everything you've been through. Thank you. It's been a lot of tears shed. um Life has to go on. You know, we just pivot and I fully believe that God puts things in ours, along our trail, in our cow trail. em And we just have to be willing to see it.

36:34
Sometimes it's not easy to see it or it's not easy to think what's qualified to do it. mean, honestly, if you had told me 10 years ago that I was going to be speaking in front of people about our experience in agriculture, I would have laughed. I would have said, I think not. And I've had the opportunity to do it a couple of times now. And from those experiences, it has brought me a lot of peace.

37:02
it has actually helped me.

37:07
work through some of my grief and just knowing that that other people are going through something similar or you know that people can relate and you might not get to know the whole story but to be able to talk to other people even older generations I've had some older women come up to me and say you know I really appreciate you sharing we're kind of going through something similar and you know

37:38
Sometimes just giving people a big hug and realizing that you're not alone in this has that can really it's changed my life. And so I'm very grateful that God has put that in.

37:53
along my cow trail and, um you know, just being aware of other opportunities as they come. Sometimes, sometimes the plans we have ourselves, most of the time, you guys know the plans we think we're making, God just sits up there and laughs and it's like, okay, watch this. You just have to be willing to pivot and it's not pretty. Sometimes it hurts really bad and that's okay.

38:21
But you just have to know that there if you're going through hard times if if you have to Sell the cows there's still life after that, know, it might feel like life is ending it might feel like your heart is walking up on that cattle trailer with them and If it takes a lot of time to get through that and it is really hard em But there's still life

38:51
after that. God has plans for each and every one of us. We don't always understand what that looks like. We don't understand why I can't just leave well enough alone. But honestly, I think of all the things I would have missed out on if we still had our cows and that's, you know, it's just like, you just have to take it one day at a time and know that everything is going to work out if you're

39:19
you're just willing to look for what he's trying to tell you. So that's what's gotten me through a lot of it. um And I just, that's what I try to share on my page is that it's going to be okay. It's going to be hard, but it's going to be okay. She has a book that's even called that. Okay.

39:45
I'm so glad that you have kept going, Rochelle. I think there's a song that says if you're going through hell, keep on going. Yeah. um So, I was going to say something and I lost my turn of thought. Rochelle, it has been a joy having you be our first special guest, because we haven't had a guest on the show yet. Where can people find you? So you can find me on Facebook. It's my pages.

40:15
Prey Crocus Creative. My website is preycrocuscreative.com. And I don't post on Instagram. I'm kind of taking a hiatus from that this year. But those are kind of the two best places right now to follow my page. yeah, you never know. You'll tell us maybe you're sleeping somewhere.

40:40
Right. And will you tell us about your books and also will you tell us just a little bit about the certification that you worked on getting? Oh, yeah. So I have two books and they're like photo books, I guess, like a coffee table style type. I don't know what you need to call them that. The first one is called Anthology and it's a collection of um photos and poems, essays.

41:10
I love letters to ranch life and women in agriculture. That one I wrote before we sold the cows. So it's a couple of years old. You can find that one on my website. And then last year I put together a new one that Leah alluded to. It's called, You're Gonna Make It. It's a little bit smaller book, but it has pictures and...

41:37
and it's kind of along the same lines, but a collection of a lot of the work I've shared on Facebook, a little bit of some devotions. when I write, these things together, I think about essentially writing, telling, leaving something behind for my girls. And that's kind of how I approach them. And that's kind of how I approach a lot of my writing as well is like,

42:06
Um, for my kids and my kids that I have adopted through 4-H, like you're gonna, it's all gonna work out. It's all gonna be okay. Um, so both of those are available on my website. Um, and then Leah, I'm assuming you're talking about the, um, suicide prevention QPR. Yes. Yes, ma'am. Yeah. Yeah. So last year, um,

42:36
I went through QPR training, which is, stands for Question, Persuade and Refer. And it's, it's not really what it is as it's intended to help people be aware of if you have somebody who's going through a difficult time, being able to have a conversation with someone and ask hard questions like, Are you really okay?

43:06
digging down, because we all ask people, Oh, how are you today? And we all say, Oh, I'm good. And that's where it ends. so QPR is intended to help get deeper, I guess, past the superficial conversations, and to help people who may be going through a really hard time find some help, you know, like if you, whether you are

43:34
they're actually contemplating suicide, you help them get on the phone, like suicide hotline, or you you, you're just, help them. The idea is to be someone who can help someone going through a hard time get the help they need. I've had a sibling who committed suicide and have seen too many people that I

44:04
No, either go through a similar situation or after working at the high school here in our hometown, like there's just mental health issues are rampant in rural America, rural Montana especially. And especially with the things that are going on in agriculture, I think it's just really important for us to dig deeper than the superficial, how are ya? um

44:33
and being aware that it's okay to ask people if they're, you know, thinking about committing suicide. It's not, you're not accusing people of anything. Sometimes it's just people don't feel seen and we live in such an isolated world that we all carry an awful lot of, you know, we all carry grief. We all carry this luggage, big old

45:02
case the luggage with us of all these heartaches and things with us. And sometimes it just takes one person to ask a question for the dam to break and to have a conversation. so that is, that is really important to me. And in which that like I am able to do talk to groups and do the training. And it's, I haven't had the opportunity just because the last year and half has been crazy. um

45:32
But I have that certification and I highly recommend it. It's something that high schoolers can sit through. It's something adults, parents doesn't matter if you have kids or not. Whatever job you're working in, I think it's really important, especially if you're interacting with people in agriculture, just to be aware, just to be able to learn how to ask questions. em Because sometimes you just know when people are having a hard time and em

46:01
We don't always know how to navigate the human. Humans don't always navigate grief and these things very well. yeah, em that's something that I did and have that knowledge and am very passionate about. Thank you for sharing that. Yep. I didn't even know there was such a thing, Rochelle, so now I'm going to go look it up later. Yep.

46:28
Yep. It's a, and there is also another one and I'm trying to of a blank, but I have not sat through that one, but there's a different program. It's like Comet Training, which is geared more towards producers in agriculture. And I have been his sat through that one. And I think that that's a really great thing too. It's intended to help producer interactions with each other.

46:57
and like your egg banker with your producers and that sort of thing. there's a lot of, there are a lot of resources out there, but it's just something that we have to be able to talk about because there's, much, that looks different, but we still need, no matter what happens, you're more important than your identity in operation. so.

47:25
It's really easy to think that when the cows go down the road or you have to sell the place, the home place that your life has ended, it hasn't. There's still life out there to live. And so it's important to be able to have those conversations with the ones we love and support them through these hard times.

47:48
So you see why I love her so much. I do. How long have you guys known each other? Real quick. um I think we started interacting online through another site we both were writing with and for maybe 2018. We have not actually met in person. We did pass through the Denver airport within one day of each other last year, but we have not met in person yet.

48:14
Well, Leah, you and I have not met either yet in person. And honestly, I think one of the best things about the internet is that you make these soul connections because you connect through words or voice instead of by being in the same room. Okay, Leah, where can people find you? You can find me on Facebook at Clear Creek Ranch Mom and the same over at Instagram where we just do rainbows and sunshine and mostly my cat George.

48:43
I love your cat, George. He's cute. All right. And for the rest of this, you can find us at gritandgraceintheheartland.com. And you can find me at Atiny Homestead on Facebook. You can find me at Mary Evelyn Lewis on Facebook. You can find me everywhere on Facebook. Rachelle, thank you again so much for being here. I loved having you. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

49:11
All right, in the meantime, have some grit and grace.
50 min
January 26Head, Heart, Hands, and Health: Why 4-H Still Matters
In this episode of Grit and Grace in the Heartland, Mary and Leah talk about 4-H, what it is, where it came from, and why it still matters more than ever. From livestock projects and county fairs to creativity, leadership, and service, Leah shares how 4-H shapes kids for life, not just for competition. This conversation is about growing people, building community, and giving kids the tools they need to succeed long after the ribbons are put away.
What We Cover
What the 4-H pledge really means
How 4-H goes far beyond agriculture
Life lessons learned through projects, service, and responsibility
Why 4-H prepares kids for the real world
The importance of supporting youth programs like 4-H and FFA
Connect With Us
Find Grit and Grace in the Heartland – Women in Agriculture on Facebook
Visit gritandgraceintheheartland.com

00:00
Mary and I'm Leah and welcome to Grit and Grace in the Heartland. Good morning, Leah. How are you? Good morning, Mary. Doing well. Happy day. Yeah. Can you believe it's January 15th? Halfway through the month that has felt already kind of like a whole month or more. Yeah. I mean, Valentine's Day is less than a month away. Spring is less than two months away.
00:28
I know, and my Thanksgiving cactus is blooming again. Both of them are, which makes me happy. Yeah, are they the hot pink ones? I have hot pink and a red one, both, and they're side by side, and they're just putting on all kinds of blooms again. So I'm happy about that, adding some color to my window. Yeah, not to go too far down the house plant rabbit hole here, but there's a Thanksgiving
00:55
cactus, there's a Christmas cactus, and I think there's an Easter cactus, and they're all the same plant. Yes, they just has to do with the shape of their leaves, I believe. Yeah, yeah. They're really pretty. My mom really wanted a Christmas cactus for a long time, and a few years back, my sister got her a baby one, just a little tiny one. And my mom has been like nurturing that thing forever. And she was so excited because this past Christmas, it had blooms all over it.
01:24
Yeah, and they will live, they will outlive you if you take care of them correctly. They can live multi-generations. Yeah, they're kind of like spider plants. And pothos, oh my god, pothos. My husband loves pothos because all you have to do is water them. They don't need any bright direct sunlight. They just need water really and they will live forever.
01:48
And for the longest time in the old house, he would take cuttings off the plant. And I'm like, I don't want any more pothos. It is taking over our house. Yeah, I know someone that does that with her her spider plants and then she'll get her babies going and then just line the porch and put it on social media. I got more babies. Come get them from me because I can't keep them all. Yeah, I've had terrible luck with spider plants and I've had terrible luck with English ivies because English ivies need diffuse light.
02:18
from a south-facing window. And I didn't have that in the old house, number one. And number two, I got one when we moved here thinking that we had more than enough light, because this place has more windows than any place ever needed. And I still couldn't keep it alive. So I'm not great at house plants. I'm great at herbs. Herbs are fine. all righty. So we're going to talk about 4-H today, because Leah, you were involved in 4-H as a kid, is that right?
02:46
I have been involved in 4-H, I say, even before I was born and I am involved still today. I've never stopped and it is one of my favorite things to talk about. Good, because I have all kinds of questions. I was not involved in 4-H. 4-H was what my parents taught me at home with gardening and pets and I had a rabbit for a while. And that was it because 4-H wasn't offered where I lived. I don't know why, but it wasn't.
03:16
So to start with, do you know how long 4-H has been around? Like when did they It has been around a long time. As far as the exact starting year, I would have to look it up and we can drop some great resources after we post this podcast to help direct the show notes, yes. Yes ma'am, because I am so passionate about it. And while 4-H is headquartered in our nation's capital,
03:45
4-H and how it is run really is up to the states and within the states it filters out to the county level and then the local level. And while there is a lot of unity in certain aspects of 4-H, how the individual uh clubs em and counties and states do a lot of their 4-H programming is very unique depending on where you live.
04:13
And I love that aspect about it as well. So 4-H is for everyone. That is what I tell everyone. um It is said that 4-H does touch the lives of one in three youth in the United States. Between the ages of now, we say age six, because that's when we have our Clover Kids programming that starts. All the way to age 18 and then beyond, is collegiate
04:43
programming, and of course we rely on volunteers as leaders and judges and so on. So it is deep and wide in its reach. And research tells us that 4-H involvement makes long-term permanent impacts, positive impacts on those who have been involved in it. And I know that because I did my graduate research thesis on
05:11
the premise that 4-H did have long-term impacts. And um I did find that to be true. And it was truly fascinating what my research um revealed. 4-H is about so much more than agriculture. And while this podcast and while what I do in my advocacy has a lot to do with agriculture, the message that
05:39
is really important to me is to make sure that people know that 4-H is for everyone. And those are actually some of my favorite stories is how 4-H was able to be introduced to urban communities or those who maybe lived in a rural community but are not involved in agriculture. They found a project that was something that appealed to them that wasn't necessarily agriculture related but was just something they loved. And
06:10
still made the same amazing impact on that child's life. Okay, awesome. I'm so glad you know about this because I have been dying for, since I started the other podcast over two years ago to talk to somebody who was steeped in 4-H and it sounds like you were. So, this is going to sound like an interview. I'm trying really hard not to do that to you. What do the H's stand for? What are the 4-H's? The 4-H pledge.
06:39
is surrounded by four components that are the four H's. I pledge my head to clear thinking. I pledge my heart to greater loyalty. I pledge my hands to larger service. And I pledge my health to better living for my club, my community, my country, and my world. So it's head, heart, hands, and health. Okay, cool. oh
07:08
It reminds me very much of Girl Scouts. I was in Girl Scouts. Could I recite the Girl Scout pledge to you right now? No, I could not. I would need like a uh primer because I don't remember. But same idea. It was very much about taking care of yourself so you can take care of your community. And Girl Scouts and 4-H have a lot in common in that Girl Scouts is for young girls and 4-H is for everyone, but it didn't
07:37
I don't know that it always was. Was it always for boys and girls? It was as far back as before my parents' generation, though my mother was in Girl Scouts like you were, um Brownie Girls, actually, I think is what hers was called, um not in 4-H. And my father and his siblings were. I'd have to do some research about the equal.
08:04
integration of boys and girls in 4-H. But here where I grew up where 4-H was and still is a very, very strong program, it's always been both, I would say. Okay. Well, one of the things that I found out when I was looking at information about 4-H in preparation for this conversation was that there are more girls in 4-H than there are boys right now. I believe that. um
08:36
It's just so fun. And there's so much opportunity, so many projects to be involved in. I was doing a quick search and again, there is some difference in what projects are offered in a different county in a different state. But the last I looked at, I think locally in our particular county, there's over 160 project areas to choose from. And yes, there is a heavy focus on those related to agriculture.
09:03
But there's just so much that isn't. It has nothing to do with agriculture. There is truly something for everyone. And that is what makes it so great. Looks like the original clover pin, where sorry, where the H, that's okay. Each of the H's officially was adopted in 1910. 1912, groups began to assimilate, begin being called 4H clubs.
09:31
and Congress passed the Smith-Lever Act in 1914 to officially designate them as work of various boys and girls clubs involved in agriculture, effectively nationalizing it as a national 4-H organization. So there in 1914 said it was for boys and girls. Now whether or not that was universally accepted or encouraged, you know, in every local or state,
10:01
a place, I'm not sure, but at least on a national level, as early as that time, which was before women were given the right to vote, it was said to be for both. So that's gratifying that those early amazing adults who were thinking beyond themselves and thinking about what was good for boys and girls were thinking about including, being very inclusive and who was invited to participate. So was for all kids. um
10:31
Good, good. And I would bet that it was more boys than girls enrolled then because girls weren't encouraged to get out and do things like they are now. But I'm glad that the opportunity was there for them even then. And the more things, yeah, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Because the main concern, the seed that was planted was a grave concern in 1902.
10:59
When Community in Ohio said, I'm concerned about the urban-rural divide, can we do something to help provide for more education to help everyone stay connected to our food systems and understanding how food is produced in our country? So here we are. Over 100 years later, we're having the same conversations. You would think we would smarten the heck up, but no. No.
11:27
Okay, I was going to say in my head when I think of 4-H, I think of the kids who raised the calf to a steer, take it to the county fair, and then they have to sell it. anybody who's ever watched a video about this knows how hard that is on the kids because they raised that calf with all their hearts and all their love and all their care. And they do everything they can to make sure that that critter is the best critter it can be.
11:56
and then they have to let it go. every time, I can't watch them anymore. just cry when they have to let it go.
12:04
It is a complex set of feelings that is difficult to describe unless you've lived it. And one of the things I do as a parent who has walked in those boots as a child and now the parent and as a club leader, volunteer, and who cares about all of the youth who are in that position, be it selling a steer or a goat or a pig.
12:34
or a sheep is having
12:40
an opportunity to share with the public who doesn't understand that the complexity, the emotion is not about a relationship the way you might assume you feel about your family pet. Because most of us choose as parents to have very open frank.
13:06
early conversations with our children about what it means for an animal to be a terminal animal that's meant for food and byproduct use, that the emotion is there because this animal is the living evidence of work done that so many of their peers can understand and the blood, sweat, and tears
13:35
poured into something, the commitment and their exhaustion, frankly, by the end of a county fair, the measure of that devotion. It is a lot. And it's also gratitude because historically, in our county, for instance, because of the support of our community businesses,
14:03
and the fact that we are able to have a true livestock sale. That sale is funding the dreams and the hopes of our children's futures, including paying for college, starting a business. um It just means so much to them. And a young lady that is very dear to our family is in her first semester of PA school.
14:32
And if it weren't for 4-H, she wouldn't be able to be doing this without such a hefty student loan burden right now. Her participation in that and selling those animals for 10 years and weeping through it sometimes, not always, because sometimes you feel peace letting them go when they've been in real pain, has
14:59
It financed her dreams and her dreams are coming true. And the 4-H part helps give her the work ethic to press through PA school, which is no joke.
15:11
Yeah, I feel like 4-H is the thing that teaches kids responsibility and hope and how to set goals and how to achieve them and so many more things, but those are the things that really stick out to me. Loyalty, teamwork, devotion, service beyond self. Our kids in our club pick up trash. They ring the bells for the Salvation Army.
15:41
They participate in efforts to gather food for our food pantry and take it there. They participate in fundraising efforts to give back into our backpack programs in our county and our different schools in our whole county to help feed kids on weekends whose families may run short on weekends. so, it's 4-H.
16:09
is always about learning and service. And every child in 4-H is expected to give back. Our county fairs wouldn't run without volunteers. So every child who is winning purple ribbons is also expected to be cleaning and painting and raking and mowing and organizing and helping judges and putting ribbons on. And that's what our kids do. um And it's so gratifying.
16:38
We also require at our county fair when they have an entry of a project to be at a loaf of bread or an entomology, which are dead bugs. The boys really get into the dead bugs, by the way. uh Entered into entomology, which is a science project, or leather work, or a cat, or sewing, or uh painting, or just anything. They have to participate in an interview.
17:06
And not every county does that. And it is a heavy, heavy lift because we have to find judges who have the time to help interview all these kids. These kids are phenomenal. By the time they are teenagers, they know how to have conversations with adults. They get jobs. They are successful, not just in 4-H, but the other things they do because they started learning these skills at age six years old.
17:32
about how to start and finish something and do your best and take criticism, take critiques, learn from them because you don't win purple ribbons every year and become resilient, coping. The other cool thing is many of our 4-H hired staff, which come through in Nebraska, they are hired through the university. They go into the school systems. So kids who aren't even in regular 4-H will
18:02
meet 4-H program people. And that's how in our school, our kids learn how to bake bread. She goes each year to all of the third graders in our whole county and spends a day with them and they learn how to bake bread and then they take their loaf of bread home. And for many of them, it might be the very first time they've been in a kitchen actually doing something. And if you can just imagine the pride.
18:31
taking home a true loaf of bread at the end of the day. Well, considering that I still haven't managed to make a good loaf of yeast bread in my entire life, yeah, I can absolutely imagine the pride that happens with that. And it's not even just the baking skills. She wraps the science into it. She at times has done homemade ice cream where you do it by playing kick the can, which is so much fun. She did this with us in 4-H camp.
19:00
years and years ago are making butter same way with the art of movement and then of course with the ice cream with the salt and the ice lowering the freezing point. But the kids, they're learning without realizing they're learning. That's another thing I love about 4-H. You're learning in all of the different ways because we all know kids don't learn the same way and learning without even realizing that you're learning.
19:26
and you're learning something. And it might be about how to lose and lose with grace. And it might be how to win and win with poise and integrity. It might be how to stand up and put your shoulders back in the face of defeat. I could just go on and on. I could tell you my own personal stories of heartache ah when I didn't want to.
19:55
I didn't want to go on because I was embarrassed or, you know, something happened. had an animal die on me at the fair. It died. All those months of work to have a beef animal develop a rapid onset of an ulcer, which is a terrible, terrible thing that happens to beef cattle on occasion and you really can't do anything about it. That's why I'm so passionate about it because here I am 40 years later.
20:24
and I can remember like yesterday. So it really is a tremendous program and I'm not saying that just because I'm in it and I'm a rancher and I care about the agriculture components. It makes an impact no matter whose life it touches. Yes. So I have a question. With Girl Scouts, I would go to Sherri Beatty's house to go see my troop of girls.
20:53
we would do a thing, it would last about an hour, and then we would go home. How is 4-H structured for the kids? it, do they do it in school? Is it an extracurricular thing? Is it an hour long? How does it work? Yep, sure. Again, it depends on your state and your county and your 4-H club. Here and where we live, you are required to join a club.
21:20
So you do not participate independently. And I understand that because it is for good reasons that you are in a club to learn some of those things we just talked about. So our particular club, which is volunteer-led, so we get back into this whole conversation about being short on volunteers in this country, why we're so grateful for them. We meet once a month. So we gather once a month. um We skip a couple of months, especially around fair time because it's such a busy time of year.
21:50
We have a business meeting. We have elected officers. The kids at age eight start learning the basics of parliamentary procedure. That's fabulous. Isn't that something? How to make a motion, how to have discussion, how to take a vote, how to take minutes, how to keep a financial report because we do fundraise then and we are responsible for keeping track of our funds and then deciding as a club how to spend them.
22:20
And of course, there's a lot of parental oversight because if you asked an eight-year-old, they want to donate their money to everything, you know. And they don't necessarily have completely clear understanding of the cost of doing business and some of those things. So the older kids are expected to shepherd the younger kids and the adults are there for general oversight. So we meet once a month. When there is time, we integrate some kind of a service project or some kind of a topic and then some kind of fund.
22:50
because these kids are, we call 4-H friends, friends forever. And I am friends forever with my 4-H friends of my youth. One of them happens to be the nurse practitioner who helps take care of me as an adult now. em So we make a lot of jokes about, she learned how to take care of beef cattle, so of course she's good at taking care of human women too. um So we have our meetings once a month and then we ramp up some of that.
23:19
again, during times of year where we're providing extra service during the holidays. And then certainly dress rehearsals as we lead into county fair because we like to give the kids time with adults to practice before they interview with judges, for instance, or before they bring their animals to the fair because especially for the young ones, if they're bringing their chickens or their bunny rabbits or their horse or their bigger animals, it's very
23:49
nerve-racking because not only are you a nervous kid who's nervous for yourself and being in front of a crowd and answering questions, here you have an animal that can be unpredictable. m And so it always helps to get the jitters out if you can have a practice or two. Oh, of course. Absolutely. Practice makes better. I don't think it makes perfect. I think it makes better. m And if you want true entertainment, you sit where you can hear what an eight
24:18
or a nine or a 10 year old will tell a judge because they don't know how to tell a lie. uh
24:26
One of the best, so I'm a volunteer comment writer for a judge. Typically your judges are people who don't know the kids so that there's no bias. Totally makes sense. But your comment writers and your volunteers are all your locals. So two years ago, it's the end of the day, the judging window closes at 4 p.m. and you're supposed to come according to like, you know, the last letter of your alphabet so we can kind of spread kids out throughout the day.
24:53
It's five minutes to closing time. We think we're done for the day. We had some no-show kids, you know, sometimes you just don't get the paint to dry on a piece of art and you just don't get it entered. Well, this young man who I know comes racing in the door and he has a t-shirt on a hanger and he's headed our way and I know he's headed to our table. We had one of the kind of miscellaneous art categories.
25:18
and he comes flying to the table and sits down in front of the judge and he doesn't shake the judge's hand. And I know this young man and typically he would have done that. And I'm thinking something's up. And he hands me the hanger with this tie dyed blue t-shirt and he says, I don't think you want to touch it. And I realized his hands are blue. oh
25:48
And I said, okay. And so the judge, who I also know, starts interviewing him. And he said, it's been quite a day, of course. I didn't think I was going to make it on time and I'm already in trouble with my mom. And he she says, why is that? He goes, because I took her pressure cooker to use it to tie-dye my shirt. Oh no.
26:15
And he had done a remarkably great job with his tie-dye work, which was still lead. And he goes, but she says, I'll learn my lesson about procrastination because you don't want to look too closely. There's a hole in the armpit of this t-shirt. Oh no. He said, if you're going to tie-dye, I'm not taking you to the store to buy something new. You got to find something. And he said, I guess I picked an old shirt that had a hole in it. Bonnie, oh my goodness.
26:44
But he was magnificent. So I think she gave him a blue ribbon because he nailed his performance in the interview and the t-shirt was just the byproduct. I've seen that kid wear the t-shirt out and about. But that's just a small example of why 4-H is fantastic. Where else do you find a nine-year-old? A nine-year-old doing something like that. Yeah, I mean, why not? And I
27:13
I'm going to say it. I feel like 4-H fosters creativity on all levels for kids and then through the rest of their lives. Mm-hmm. 100%. And here he is, nine years old, having a candid, honest, terrific interview with an adult woman. He knew every bit about how to properly tie-dye a shirt. He did read the directions. Mm-hmm. Just happened to wait a couple days too long.
27:42
He was proud of his work, his time management. Well, you can say he got it done on time. He took full responsibility for it and he got it done. And he's out there wearing the t-shirt and he's proud of it. um Sure, he frustrated his mom and he probably owes her a new pressure cooker. But he's nine years old. Again, in this world of so much challenge for our American children, would you rather have had him
28:12
sitting in front of the TV, I don't think so. This is the creativity. This is what we want for our kids. So, 4-H provides that. And it doesn't cost a darn thing to belong to 4-H at all. Yeah, and lest we forget, children are the future of the world. So, the more that we can give them room to learn and love and feel, the better off we're all going to be. Yep. Now it's my turn to cough.
28:44
100%. It's that time of year. Everybody is coughing. Even people on the news, the local news, they're coughing. And sneezing, yes. so we have about 160 4-H members in our county, which represents a good chunk of those eligible in our county. And our county fair is big. We have kids that go on then to compete in our state fair.
29:11
in our national 4-H Congress. 4-H, though, across the board has struggled because of the sharp elbows of other distractions that have come along, namely sports. And I love sports, Mary. I've always loved sports. I'm not particularly good at them. I'm super excited that the Olympics are in February. I've always loved the Winter Olympics. um But I have to question, especially as I
29:40
I listen and I hear how expensive, for instance, club traveling sports are. And in a culture that seems to worship sports, and that's a strong word, I know, but it sure feels that way when it dominates every news story and every thread. There are children who do not like sports. There are children who are not good at sports. There are children who are great at sports. And
30:10
And it's my very firm opinion that if you don't have your children in something besides sports, you are selling them short because sports will end, maybe not for some. And sports do teach a lot of things to kids, but there is so much more.
30:34
Yeah. And sports can end your career before you even start your career in sports. And I don't feel like that's always the case with 4-H. I mean, yes, you could probably get a broken leg from a calf, but it's unusual. And 4-H has so many other things that aren't necessarily massively physical, like quilt making or tie-dyeing t-shirts, like you just said. So.
31:05
I've been blessed in my life, in my travels, to interact with a lot of notable people, with a lot of influence when it comes to making hiring decisions and selections and appointments. And I can tell you firsthand if a young person or any person has 4-H,
31:35
or FFA, or Eagle Scout, or things like that on their resume, they do rise to the surface. Because people know, they know what goes with that. Fabulous. Are your daughters in 4-H or have they been? They have been. Both of them have been since they were Clover kids.
32:02
Our eldest will finish out her 4-H career this year. We do call it a career because it is truly that, when you're all in as she has been, which means not only as a participant, but as a volunteer. And the conversation she and I had recently was, what am I going to do when I don't have it? Because it consumes so much time for her when you've been a contributor and giving back. And I said, I have no doubt in my mind.
32:31
that one day soon you will find yourself ready to give back as a volunteer, a judge or something. It becomes part of who you are. And that's why I am so passionate about it. My husband was a 4-H-er as well. He showed hogs. And it's not perfect. It's an organization that has its struggles. Funding is a major struggle. Right now, both 4-H and FFA are m
33:01
You know, they're easy ones to be gone after. I know, I believe it's Oregon right now, the legislature has to cut money from the state budget and FFA is on the chopping block. I know there's efforts underway to try to fight that. Here, the university is responsible for much of the 4-H budget and they're consolidating positions and trying to cut spending. And there may come a time when more of that expense is passed on.
33:31
locally. As I said right now, it's $6 to belong to 4-H. That's it. And that's been one of the merits for it in saying that it's for everyone. And when I tell you, know 4-H club leaders who drive around and pick up kids who don't have transportation, I mean it. One of them is my neighbor who does that. And he teaches archery and shooting sports to young people. That
33:58
we have to advocate for these programs, just like other ones that have struggled because those of us who've been there know the full value. And it's easy when you're done with it and you've closed that chapter in your life to say, that's not my fight, it's not my battle. But now more than ever, those of us who are aware have to fight and advocate and say, because the squeaky wheels get the grease and programs like 4-H and FFA
34:27
They've never been a squeaky wheel. They've just turned out their results and kept marching along. we have to speak up for them and tell our stories and share them, which is partly why I do what I do, because it does matter. Absolutely, it does. Okay. We're going to keep this one a little shorter today because I have another thing I'm scheduled to do at 1030, and I will definitely need to go grab a glass of water and maybe visit the bathroom before 1030. Leah? oh
34:57
Thank you for talking with me about this particular topic because I feel like it's important. And I'm sorry if it felt like I was interviewing you. was trying not to, but I'm so curious about it because I was never part of it. People can find us at Grit and Grace in the Heartland Women in Agriculture on Facebook. And you can go to the website gritandgracentheheartland.com. um
35:22
Love, love, love talking with you, Leah. And you have lived like a billion lifetimes in one, I swear. I have been blessed to have a lot of experiences and parents who were not gentle parents who made me try things, especially public speaking when I did not want to. That was one of my very first 4-H experiences was being in the public speaking contest. And look at me now.
35:52
And so the message for parents and grandparents and loving neighbors and family members is kids often will say no to something, but they don't know until they try it. And I tell you, you get them in 4-H, you get them hooked. So if we can share resources and help direct you to the resources in your state, we will do that using our social media um channels that we can to help connect you because...
36:16
I believe that strongly in this program that I will do what I can to help you get connected where you need to be. Yep. I will try to put all the things in the show notes so people can just, you know, click the link to the 4-H website and then they can find places to sign up. Fantastic. All right. Well, we will talk to you in the next one. And in the meantime, have some grit and grace.
37 min
January 23Unknotting the Mess: Labor, Immigration, and Hope in the Heartland
In this episode, Mary and Leah open with the familiar rhythms of Midwestern life, weather, winter wellness, and the importance of vitamin D, before moving into a deeply honest, timely conversation about immigration, agriculture, and the values shaping our food system.
Sparked by recent events in Minnesota and the emotional weight they carry, the discussion explores why so many Americans are feeling frustrated, sad, and divided, and how those feelings connect to broken systems that affect us all. From labor shortages in agriculture to the human cost of immigration policy, Mary and Leah step back from sound bites and headlines to look at the bigger picture.
This episode centers on one core idea: together matters. Together in community. Together in responsibility. Together in rebuilding systems that no longer work.
Rather than arguing politics, Mary and Leah focus on people, the farmers, families, immigrants, and neighbors whose lives are intertwined with the food we eat and the values we hold. They discuss why cheap food has come at a high cost, why honorable work deserves fair pay, and why fear and misinformation are harming our ability to solve real problems.
The conversation also touches on:
Labor challenges in agriculture and the role of immigrant workers
The cultural shift away from valuing hard, physical work
Why “breaking even” isn’t sustainable for farms or communities
How broken immigration systems create fear instead of solutions
The growing impact of misinformation and AI-generated content
Practical ways listeners can show up with grit, grace, and courage
Mary and Leah close with hope, grounded in community, young people, and everyday acts of kindness, reminding listeners that change doesn’t start on social media or TV screens, but in how we treat one another.
Takeaway
We may not have all the answers, but we are capable of better. And it starts with choosing empathy, accountability, and connection, right where we live.
Resources & Links
Website: gritandgraceintheheartland.com
Blog posts and episode player available for every episode
00:00
Mary and I'm Leah and welcome to Grit and Grace in the Heartland. Good morning, Leah. How are you? Good morning, Mary. A beautiful day in the neighborhood. Is it nice in Nebraska right now? It is again, this atypical, droughty, mild January, a 40 % chance of rain tonight. I'm hopeful for that. As odd as that sounds for rain in the middle of January, but we will take it. Yeah.

00:28
Absolutely. It's been so dry and not here in Minnesota, we still have snow on the ground and ice, but I know in Nebraska it's been really dry. Typical Midwesterners, we open up our conversations with discussions of weather and then possibly what we're eating and if we have recently bought anything on sale. I always try to open my podcast and my other podcast and this one with the weather because we're all affected by it.

00:57
100%. And I feel like it joins us all together. It is very bright and shiny here today. There's a light breeze. It was 40 degrees when I got up at 4 a.m. 40 degrees at 4 a.m. On January what 13th? I bought myself one three years ago. I bought myself one of those lights to use in the wintertime because my office is in the basement with no windows.

01:23
And it occurred to me that I haven't even pulled it out and used it one time this winter. That's because I've been able to be outdoors every day this winter for the most part. So that just speaks to what kind of winter it has been. And I put myself on a high quality vitamin D supplement as recommended by my doctor. But I'm a big advocate of those lights if you don't have them and taking time to sit in your south facing windows during the day, especially if you're a very pale midwesterner. But yes, I have not had to use my light at all.

01:52
Yeah, I just started taking vitamin D because I was at, I was below the lowest recommended number in my blood work. And my doctor said that most people who hail from a European descent, especially Northern European descent, sometimes carry a below average level year round, but especially in those darker, longer winter months and checking the vitamin D level is not on your typical panel for your annual

02:22
you sometimes have to ask for it. So while we're not talking necessarily about wellness today, I know it goes back to our conversations last week. Ask for your vitamin D to be checked and talk with your doctor about what level you should look for. Vitamin D levels are directly linked to so many things, one of them being your mental health and wellbeing. So definitely get that vitamin D level checked.

02:48
Oh, for sure. And if you can afford it, if you have good health insurance or if you just happen to have the money to pay for it, ask for every test you can get when they take your blood because they're going to take four vials anyway. They might as well test for everything. And a lot of those tests are becoming more affordable. I see these pop-ups on social media for other things that can be screened for, including some food sensitivities. And I mean, as much as many of us don't want to know the answers, some of those things.

03:17
I think there's a lot of great opportunity out there for us to do more discovery on what is working and not working for each of us. I'm really happy to see more work done on the, just because something says it's normal doesn't really mean it falls in what is considered healthy ranges, especially with our hormones and whatnot. And the more you know, the more you can advocate for yourself and take care and feel as good as you can.

03:46
Yes, I always say the more you know, the more you know. Because it's true. And it's fun to say it because people just laugh. And it doesn't mean that there's a pill for it. Like a vitamin D supplement is not a prescription, it's not another pill. There are things you can achieve through changing your diet and exercise and other self-care that doesn't require a prescription. So this is just not a big advocate message for big pharmacy, but it is for self-care.

04:15
Oh yeah, absolutely. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't get anything done. So that's why I do it. All right. So last week was a very heavy week here in Minnesota with a lady that got shot by an ICE agent. And I talked with Leah last week about it in private because I was very, very sad about it. And I finally talked to my dad about it on Saturday, I think. And he said, are you able to talk without crying? And I said, yes. And he said, honey, he said,

04:45
things are gonna get worse before they get better. And I said, oh, well, that's really positive. And he said, I can't lie to you. He said, things are gonna get worse before they get better. And I said, okay. And again, as I've said, my dad is one of the most level-headed men I know. He is one of the most patient men I know. And he is the best at putting himself in other people's shoes so he can understand their perspective. So if my dad is saying it's gonna get worse before it gets better,

05:13
It's probably going to get worse before it gets better. It was a rough week and it's, it's, it's getting worse. There's been a ton of protests here. Um, people have been tear gassed. They have been pushed and knocked over. They have been arrested. And I don't really want to get into politics on this because I don't know enough to sound like I know what I'm talking about, but

05:40
What I realized this morning when I woke up is the reason that all of this is making me so sad and so frustrated is because I was brought up in a home where love thy neighbor was a big thing. And I feel like we have stopped loving our neighbors. Well, first of all, I'm so grateful for you. I love the state of Minnesota. I have many, many dear connections in the state of Minnesota, a beautiful state.

06:09
full of wonderful people and industry and tourism and beauty. And I'm so sorry for your state, as another friend said to me. You know, typically you love to hear the name of your state in the news, but not so much, you know, not so much right now. And also, I'm so thankful that you living parents that you're able to pick up the phone and call. For me personally, when, especially when hard things come,

06:38
I'm so, so, so thankful for people that I can pick up the phone and call, or I can visit who are always there to listen and be discerning and sometimes just let me talk and listen and then able to read me and know if they're just there to listen or if I'm looking for affirmation or feedback or help and guidance. So I'm so glad you have that.

07:07
Me too, because I am not young, but my dad is older than me and he knows more than I do and I trust his opinions. So it's really nice to be able to know that I have someone to vent to if I need to. And he's always saying, you call whenever you want, honey. And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to call you at two o'clock in the morning. No, I'm not doing that. He has seen a lot of things and he has lived a lot of things. He has. he's, again, he's very level.

07:37
and really considerate and level-headed and considerate make it so much easier for me to believe in what he's telling me. Because if he was a hothead I'd be like, well you're just being over the top again, but he's not like that at all. uh It really helps. So I don't want to talk about all the politics of this. It all sucks. That's all I have to say about it. uh

08:06
The situation with immigration right now is impacting agriculture and it's really impacting women agriculture, so we thought we'd talk about it. Yes, there are some very interesting statistics regarding labor within agriculture. And it's easy for us who work in production agriculture to be very focused through our own lenses, which are what are our struggles, what are our opportunities, what are our challenges.

08:36
and labor struggles within the farming and ranching areas of the Midwest, the Great Plains, have been problematic for a long time. um That's because we walk this very fine line on what we call our family operations between what we can do ourselves, coupled with trying to be profitable, uh taking on more risk, and then recognizing when you fall short and being able to get the labor all taken care of.

09:05
And as time has gone along, finding the kind of labor that we need for assistance has been more challenging, much more challenging. Sometimes it's as simple as recognizing that people are much more um able to be on the go or on the move than they used to be. um People pick up and move and move to new jobs, new opportunities more often versus the old days where people would put down roots and stay for a while.

09:31
But in doing research for our conversation today, looking at where our immigrant labor has been such a huge piece in the backbone of our agricultural industry, we really look to the seasonal needs for agriculture across this country. And that goes particularly to the needs of our fresh produce that we rely on, that we cherish.

09:58
in this country and our abilities to grow our fruits and vegetables in the United States. And unfortunately, through a whole bunch of challenges that are far beyond our labor issues in this country, we all know all you got to do is look at labels that we're importing more and more produce all the time. So what's an American farmer supposed to do? We have the labor challenges that resulted in

10:27
looking to immigrant labor and it has for a long time. This is not a new situation. Right. Yes. Here comes the challenges of the immigration rules and lack thereof of processes and systems that have worked. You know, though, if you watch sensational headlines, you might be led to believe that it's a massive issue and we're talking millions and millions and millions of

10:56
what you call illegal immigrants in the United States, laboring in agriculture, and it's not estimated in 2022 was only 4.8 % of the workforce total, but over about a third when it comes to agriculture or farm workers. And some will say, well, why so many? This falls on the United States government in so many ways.

11:25
And I will lose listeners, I will lose followers, and I will lose consumers because we have a major, major values system problem in this country. Our value system has been focused around cheap food for a very long time. And so what the US government did was try to pump in money to subsidize

11:53
the food industries to keep food cheap and farm owners look for cheap labor to keep the price of production cheap. And so what they do, they started paying people under the table, providing avenues to get temporary illegal help from other countries. When I say illegal, I just mean they're coming and helping and not doing their paperwork. created a disastrous system.

12:24
Meanwhile, we're still losing ground. Selling farms can't be profitable, can't keep up with paying taxes. We have, I mean, we could talk for days on end about this. And who loses? We all lose. We all lose. And I have never met an immigrant myself who came here looking for more than true opportunity that was better than where they came from.

12:55
Yeah. And, and I'm going to say this too. mean, everybody has the potential to do good or bad. And it's not just immigrants that do things that are criminally related. There are very few immigrants who are considered to be criminals. I mean, there are, there are Americans who do bad things and get arrested and have due process and either go to jail or don't.

13:24
It just, bothers me so much that people are like, oh, well, they're from Mexico, so they must not be good people. And I'm like, um, they are people first. what we have is.

13:40
for 30 years now, gosh, time gets away. have politicians take headlines and sensationalize them, use talking points and sound bites as simply a way to swing voters to opportune, I don't know that's a word, take advantage of situations, hit people against each other. And we have solved nothing. We've absolutely solved nothing. In fact,

14:10
If you look at the statistics, because in my opinion, this all falls on the hands of every party that's ever been in office. The systems in place have failed people right and left, regardless of who's in office. I don't care about stats. I don't care about numbers. The bottom line is the responsibilities fall on all. We have a perfect disaster. Today, the choice is to blame this administration for the situation we're in, the way it's being managed.

14:40
But historically, it falls on everyone. I tend to choose to lean conservatively, but I am not without doing my darnedest to step back and look at the big picture here. I have very good friends who came here illegally. They are proud U.S. citizens now. And when they describe to me how hard it was to become Americans, it makes me sick to my stomach.

15:09
It should never have taken 11 years. What kind of, and I've worked for the government, so I'm not surprised by our conversations about the USDA this morning. What kind of efficiency is that? It's not. So are you surprised when people say, I'm gonna take the quote, the easier way, which is to come in the back door and not do things that with.

15:36
the correct way, it's because our entire system is broken. And my problem today is instead of focusing on taking these resources and going and extricating and throwing people out and not considering the ramifications and the ripple effects, which I got to see firsthand and hear firsthand from some children who have been affected by these things, not just now.

16:03
but over the last whole generation of things shared with me is that's not a fix. That is a headline to put on TV and make people clap their hands or scream in horror, but it doesn't inspire change. It doesn't make people feel better. It doesn't do anything for tomorrow. What we need is a sit down comprehensive work plan, pulling people together and say, we do have a problem. We have so many broken things.

16:32
let's begin to figure this out together and make it make sense because this doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, the problem is the together part because nobody is together in our government right now. It isn't that heartbreaking because

16:52
If someone came here, and there are plenty of arguments, well, they came here to take advantage or take from or take what we have and take and give of, most people who have immigrated here that I know are not living better than I am. um The ones who I know are not demanding that I change to accommodate them, they would like to be included.

17:20
And there are, you know, you always hear about the bad apples, so to speak, and the tough situations. So can tell you some really heartwarming stories from two young women in particular who were not born here and whose parents were not born here. That they're both on track to become first generation college students. Nice. And they both want to earn it, Mary. Yeah. And they're both

17:50
celebrating and their parents are celebrating their freedom and ability to truly become self-made young ladies. And they also believe that others need to come out of the shadows, step forward and say,

18:10
Okay, we haven't been doing things the way the rules say, can we help work together to figure out how to rework these rules and make this possible for us because it seems too hard, too far. And now what we have is a culture of fear. People are afraid to do the right thing because of what they're seeing on television. Yeah. Everybody loses today. I mean, I just.

18:37
everybody loses. is why we're talking about this in a public way. Yes. And I'm not going to tell you that I'm excited to talk about this. I'm not excited to have people tell my parents that they're, you know, disappointed in me and they're unfollowing me. That's what happens when you live in a small town. Or that I'm on the wrong side of things. I got called a radical this morning already for something else. People with their name calling, aren't they precious?

19:07
Um, I'm an American and I'm, I love my country. I'm proud of my country. believe in rules and regulations and systems of order. Uh, but what we have isn't working. We have to put some really thoughtful, intelligent work, just like every other major issue that's going on right now. Things are not working well. And.

19:36
They're not going to until everyone takes off their pack, as my granddad would say, and say, I am not here with an agenda. I am here because I want things to work well for everyone who is proud to call themselves an American, who wants to work hard, pay taxes, be safe, have clean drinking water, work hard, have a retirement plan. Just be a good citizen. It's just so frustrating to me.

20:05
And this relates to agriculture because in spite of all of the technology and automation and systems, we are losing our farms because we don't have enough laborers. don't have apparently Americans willing to do some of this work, which is separate from the wage issues themselves. The wage issues are a huge problem.

20:30
I don't want to be beholden to other countries for my fresh produce. Sure, the stuff that doesn't grow here, but I will not sit by and hear people say, well, we can just import all of our almonds. We can import all of our lettuce and oranges if we can't get enough workers. It's just so wrong on all levels. Absolutely. And I am an utter coffee fiend and you can't grow coffee.

21:01
in the United States. I know they grow it in Hawaii, but that's not connected to the United States. is a state, but it's not connected to the whole United States. And I don't want to give up coffee, so I'm very happy that we import coffee. But the day that I can't grow tomatoes in my garden and I have to import them from somewhere else to get them is going to be a very sad day. No, I don't want that. And I certainly don't want to be, I mean, I hope to see 80.

21:31
But if I see 80 and I want tomatoes, I want to be able to grow them from the cute couple down the road who have taken up where we left off. And the work is backbreaking. The work is hard. The work is self, it requires selfless giving. I am very bothered and this is a bigger conversation than where labor is coming from. I am very bothered by the number of Americans.

21:59
who chose to turn up their noses at picking lettuce and harvesting tomatoes and said, why don't you get migrant workers to do it instead? Like that's a whole other conversation. I am very bothered by that because that requires generations of families turning up their noses at what I call honorable work. So that's one whole conversation. And secondly, I don't care.

22:27
who is doing it, they deserve to be paid an appropriate wage for it. So if that means you've got to pay in the grocery store the price that is appropriate, it means you need to rework your value system and understand that American farmers and all of the people who support them to make that crop get to your grocery store shelf, deserve to be paid what

22:54
is required to be profitable so they can stay in business.

23:00
It's just mind boggling to me that we're having this conversation here and I do not look to Europe for guidance on much of anything because they have their own host of a lot of problems. The whole world has its own sets of problems, believe me. But this country's value system of valuing cheap food and expensive toys and entertainment is a problem for me. It is.

23:29
Well, yes, of course it is because toys are something that is gratuitous. It's something that you that you quote unquote play with. Food is necessary. And again, I have had so many people say, your life is so rosy and beautiful. I never considered that you needed to make a profit. I just thought you so intrinsically

23:58
loved what you do that you're satisfied to break even. Breaking even doesn't mean we can expand and grow more. It doesn't mean I can give raises. It doesn't mean I can hire more qualified help. It's just so important that we have these conversations about where our values lie in this country. I'm just really passionate about it because

24:25
The pushback that I get tells me it runs deeper and wider than I thought, which means it's multi-generational. I fall into the trap myself when I shrug off purchasing things at the grocery store thinking of, goodness, why is this so expensive? And the whole conversation about the corporate middle people really being the ones who profit and not the producers are the ones who are profiting. But the ripple effects are deep and wide.

24:54
They go into every facet of agriculture. um Immigrant labor supports a ton of the dairy industry. Again, another area that is labor intensive and has had a ton of Americans turn up their noses at doing that work. We would be really in trouble without them. so we have to have better avenues of helping our immigrants have a good pathway into this country when they're coming here to do work that seemingly Americans won't do.

25:23
And some are saying, you know, deport the illegal immigrants. Americans will pick up the slack. Are they really going to? Cause I, I mean, I'd love to believe that again, that's back to this value system, but I'm not seeing evidence of that. don't think most Americans would have any idea how to pick up the slack on that. Yeah. And that's again, that's a bigger conversation and it's, it's just.

25:52
It's so sad to me. A lot of that is so sad to me. um Without becoming too personal, because I don't have permission to speak about a couple of these young ladies. The one of them, her parents do not have glamorous jobs. They're very, very blue collar, but they live debt free because they've chosen to be very industrious and very intelligent and thoughtful with how they run their family and the children work.

26:18
as well and they're very involved students and good students too. But I was asking her just last night as she was telling me about being set to become the first generation college student and her plan for how to make that happen. um It's just it's how she was raised. So it tells you these conversations have to become generational. I'm so thankful for how I was raised. I am not better than my neighbor.

26:47
I am not better than a listener out there going, sound self-righteous that you've got it all figured out. Believe me, I don't have it all figured out. uh But these, know that change is hard. It is hard. And throwing Band-Aids on things like this USDA report we talked about this morning and um the broken systems in the food system itself and immigration and taxes and healthcare.

27:15
We cannot survive if we just keep putting band-aids on. We have to rip the whole band-aid, all of the band-aids off and we've got to start over because things get to where there's so much in disrepair. You can't fix them anymore. You have to start over. That's what our founders did. And then they rebuilt and they re-tacked and they recognized they had to and that is where we are at. Yeah. Leah.

27:43
Have you ever been at like a yard sale and somebody has a bag of necklaces that they've gathered over the years and it's going to cost you a dollar to buy that bag of necklaces. But once you get at home, have to unknot all the chains that have knotted together over the years. Yeah. And people don't buy them because they don't want to do the work. That's the picture in my head of where we're at with everything that's going on right now.

28:11
Yes. And then you find a young lady who did such a thing with her grandma's jewelry. And what she did was she took the needle nose pliers and disconnected all of the pendants and the brooches and turned them into a beautiful Christmas tree on a felt background and had it framed to hang on the wall. So the whole point of me bringing up the bag of necklaces is that it's a mess right now, but you can find a way

28:41
to un-mess it, which is not a real word, but it is now, and make it into something beautiful that works. oh And I have so much compassion for who I call innocent bystanders of all of these things, especially when they become the flash point, then they have cameras on their faces, they're being interviewed, they're under the microscope. And let me be very clear, when emotions are running high,

29:09
On every side, people say and do things that later on oftentimes regret, but don't have an opportunity to apologize, to clarify, or anything else. I caution people. I never knew my great grandfather, but my dad told me his best advice was in the old days where he was helping shape some policy that had to do with bringing electricity

29:39
to Nebraska, which was controversial, if you can believe that. can. People were afraid that electricity would make people lazy. That when you had to say hard things or you had an emotional response, write it down, put it away a couple of days, then revisit it and then say, would I really say that out loud? And now because of cameras and social media, people are not given that grace. It's instantaneous.

30:09
And that gives instantaneous responses and it is not a good look. Generally human beings are not equipped to handle it well at all. And so I've just really, really had to filter how much I take in because I don't feel good about what it does to me. And I also don't want to lessen offering some grace and using discernment and backing away because when these flashpoints happen.

30:37
And we've seen things flame and flame, like, you're not going to convince me that there's not money being made off of emotional responses to situations. And that money oftentimes lands in hands that really don't have invested interest in anything except making money. em I hate that kind of stuff. I despise it. So I just caution people to try to step away and use some discernment and don't let yourself get sucked in.

31:06
too much because it can be really hard on you. Yeah, my parents gave me two, I don't know, coping mechanisms when it came to opening my mouth and saying things back when I was teenager. And the first one was count to 10 before you open your mouth. And I do that to this day. If I'm thinking something and I'm like, I count to 10 and that gives me time to think about how I want to frame.

31:34
what's going to come out of my face so that maybe it won't be hurtful or destructive. And the second thing was they always said to me, it's better to keep your mouth shut and be thoughtful than to open it and remove all doubt. So I try to hang on to that one too. Yes. 100%. I pinch my thumb and my pointer finger. pinch them together on both hands. That's what I do.

32:02
And I had a very sharp tongue as a teenager and I suffered from massive foot and mouth disease. I was constantly saying things and being like, I never should have said that out loud. So to this day, I try to remember the two tools they gave me to not have my foot in my mouth all the time.

32:27
I think I'm better than I used to be. I hope so. Cause it was very bad when I was 13 to 15. Yes. And as I wrote about yesterday, when I realized from a totally unrelated issue that I got caught up in some AI video, what should be terrifying to all of us. And I did some more reading on this last night was the amount of AI video being created. First of all,

32:55
It's not being created in the United States, but it's being pumped into the United States and it's the wild west. is, there are efforts underway to try to get some legislation created that says these online platforms must label video as AI generated because there isn't currently, but the AI tools are now becoming so good that videos are being created right and left that are

33:26
throwing more fuel on volatile situations. Case in point, um this wasn't what I got caught in. There was a devastating series of waves that hit the Homer, Alaska area in December. And AI video created in an Asian country was used and created additional videos that portrayed even more devastating effects than what happened.

33:55
there were devastating effects. Like real is always bad enough, right? But it caused additional unnecessary panic. So the lesson for all of us is if you're going to take in the news, this was my caution yesterday, I'm in a place now where I just don't feel like you can trust any video you're watching. And what a sad thing for me to say because I love, that was my major was video journalism broadcasting.

34:23
Until we have some legislation or some kind of oversight, I don't recommend watching videos on the internet. I hate saying that. I sound like a conspiracy theorist, but legitimately it happened to me and I feel like I have a pretty discerning eye. It is happening. There are other players in other countries who love nothing more than a divided, broken America. That is a fact. And

34:50
If you're taking in news and you're trying to gain actual real knowledge of a situation, you have got to think of other ways to gather that. Even if it requires more energy from you, you're going to have to pick up the phone. You're going to have to go there. You're going to have to call local news sources because what you're watching on the internet, especially a social media platform cannot be trusted at all. And again, I sound like a lunatic saying that out loud, but it's

35:17
It is absolutely true. There was more had to do with wildfire. He was fake, Mary. And the tools they're using are getting so good. You don't know that it's not real. Yep. I think that we have to take everything we see on social media for sure with a grain of salt. it happened so fast. Like, you know, last year I'm thinking we're three to five years away.

35:45
And here it's January and here we're in it already. And um I hope that our, and why do we have to have legislation to make people do the right thing? hate that, but especially I'm very concerned for our more vulnerable populations, elderly, young people. um Some people I think.

36:10
Their self-preservation may need to be as simple as I'm just going to have to unplug altogether because I can't trust any of it. Isn't that so sad? It's disheartening, I think is a good word for it. You know? And there's a phrase, trust but verify. Trust but verify would probably be a good phrase for 2026. Yeah. And here's my pledge.

36:38
Leah Peterson, your Clear Creek Ranch mom pledged, will not use AI to tell you anything. The only time I use it as a tool to help to be a researcher, investigate, but anything I share with you will be in my own words, with my own images, real, vulnerable, honest, raw. I won't do that to you because real, authentic,

37:03
transparent life is as good as it gets and none of us should want fake. We've spent too many years believing that fake is better and it is not and it will not serve us well in any efforts to bring people together. No, no it will not. And I'm starting to feel really sad now. We were doing so good and now I'm like, meh. So, so

37:33
The things that we can do right now regarding the whole immigration fiasco is we can be nice to our neighbors. We can check on our neighbors. We can help our neighbors. There are people in Minneapolis and St. Paul right now who are running errands for people who are afraid to leave their homes because they're afraid they're going to be stolen by ICE.

38:01
Real, authentic, vulnerable, honest, getting out, talking with your neighbors, being a good citizen, being in community with one another, praying for one another, being fearless and brave, showing up, doing the things a good citizen does, asking more of your elected representatives, asking questions, making phone calls, writing letters, asking for response.

38:27
Most of our state uh unicameral or bodies of government, they're in session. Their job is to be accountable to you. This is not a government that belongs to someone else. This is our government. We pay for these people to do their jobs, be it your local, your state, or your federal. They are accountable to you. It is their obligation to be responsive to you. I encourage you to be thoughtful in your questions, to be courteous and respectful.

38:55
It is their obligation to be responsive to you. They are accountable to you. And more people need to practice that communication. One of my jobs as a undergrad, as an intern for a state legislature was to open the mail. Oh, Mary, it was the highlight of my day because my state senator got these lovely handwritten letters all the time. And at that time, you could watch the unicameral on public television in the afternoon.

39:24
And it could be everything from a sweet old lady complimenting his suit and tie to very, very critical uh commentary about how he was voting on a bill, for instance, and his wife was fighting cancer at the time as well. So there was questions about that. But there was only one time did I see something that was threatening, you might call, but not enough to merit escalation. uh

39:51
people acted with decorum and thoughtfulness, even when they wanted to ask hard questions and say disagree, disagreeing things. We have got to get back to that place. This is not working for us. And I am asking all Americans to set a better example because your little people are watching a social media person in Minnesota, Mary, who I really enjoy.

40:18
was sharing their local school district was forced to remove the main access doors to their public bathrooms in their school because the children will not respect the property and then closing other bathrooms and denying access. That is no way to live. We have got to do better as a nation. I am just, I am begging. We are capable of better. This is

40:46
This is unacceptable and our little people are watching and they will follow our example. is far past time to change how we treat one another. could not agree more. That's all I got. I could not agree more with you. Well, to give you some heartening snapshots of my Saturday was spent in my first speech meet hundreds of students.

41:15
I think we had 12 schools there in a community that has been hit hard by the announcement of losing a massively huge employer happening at the end of this month. The children there, including the speech team from that community that's affected by this loss of so many jobs, had the best time together, taking pictures, playing cards, doing improv, karaoke, and trivia. uh

41:46
questions to a show they're all apparently teenagers are watching a show called Stranger Things. Yes. Having fun together. That had nothing to do with their performances, which were amazing and fabulous. And I laughed and I cried. uh A young man from our school did a serious interpretation of Where the Red Fern Grows. That movie gets me every time. Yeah.

42:14
a hilarious entertainment speech about how you achieve a fashion glow up at your local Dollar General store. Oh, cute. It was the best day and these children are every creed and color and they just had the best day together. And I walked out of that school at the end of the day, feeling like there was hope for our future. That's what kids do.

42:41
That's what good kids do. They make you feel like, oh, not everything sucks. I'd like to turn over the government to them because I found myself thinking there's no problem that they could not solve by working together. Uh huh. Well, honestly, there's no problem that all of us can't solve by working together. Together is the key word today on this episode. Together we can make things better. I agree.

43:08
We just have to get over ourselves, don't we? We just have to stop and think and consider what we want the world to be instead of being so angry about what the world is. Part of me thinks that if all of the TV and all of the radio and all of the internet access were to shut down for about two weeks on the other side of that,

43:35
actually feel like a good bit of this could have been taken care of because it would require us to get out there and be with one another and talk through these things and would be the end of propagandizing a bunch of issues and you'd find out that people generally are just people. absolutely. All right, well, that's about as positive as I think we can make the end of this.

44:01
Leah, it's always a joy to get to dig into this stuff with you. I appreciate it. And to those who are listening to the podcast, we appreciate you taking the time to listen to us. We do. Hang in there, Minnesota, for all of you who are out there. We care about you. We care about all of you across this great country. We are all in this together and appreciate you being here.

44:26
And the website is now live. It is gritandgraceandtheheartland.com. And there is a blog post for every episode. And you can actually listen to the episode on the player below the blog post. So that makes things a little easier for people. I love that function. It makes me so happy. I'm really a geek at heart, Leah, just so you know. Yes, you are. Totally, completely. All right. In the meantime, have some grit and grace.
45 min
January 19Grit, Grace, and the Lost Art of Reading & Speaking
In this wide-ranging and deeply reflective episode, Mary and Leah kick off 2026 by talking weather, resilience, and the skills that truly prepare us for life, especially in agriculture. From drought conditions in Nebraska and icy chores in Minnesota to coaching high school speech, the conversation unfolds into a powerful exploration of public speaking, reading, family connection, and the unintended consequences of a screen-saturated world.
The hosts share personal stories, some funny, some emotional, about learning to speak up, advocating for oneself, the lifelong impact of reading, and why libraries, librarians, and speech programs matter now more than ever. This episode is a heartfelt call to return to the basics: conversation, books, shared work, and real human connection.
Topics Covered
Warm winters, drought, and finding gratitude in hard conditions
Ice cleats, chores, and farm safety in winter
Coaching high school speech and why speech kids are “athletes”
The confidence-building power of speech classes and 4-H
Learning to advocate for yourself, especially as a young woman
Why reading aloud to children changes lives (and brains)
Attention spans, screens, and what research is showing
Libraries as one of America’s greatest public resources
Why “watching how” is not the same as “doing”
Grit, resilience, and what really prepares young people for adulthood
A New Year’s call to unplug, read, cook, and connect
Memorable Moments
A childhood story about standing up to a librarian - with grace
Why speech classes should be required everywhere
How Stephen King, Dr. Seuss, and National Geographic shaped curious minds
The difference between information and true skill
Why “real always wins” over polished, filtered perfection
Listener Takeaways
You don’t need perfection, just participation
Reading builds memory, empathy, and lifelong resilience
Speaking skills are survival skills
Libraries are free, powerful, and underused
Technology is a tool, not a replacement for connection
Grit begins with a strong foundation at home
Call to Action
Get (or use) your library card
Read with your children - even 3–5 minutes matters
Volunteer to read in your community
Learn to cook from scratch
Check on your neighbors
Put the phone down and pick a book - or a board game - up
Resources & Links
Website: https://www.gritandgraceintheheartland.com
Contact the show via the website contact page
Support your local public library
56 min
January 12Carrying On: New Year Reflections, Community, and Courage
Carrying On: New Year Reflections, Community, and Courage
As 2025 comes to a close, Mary and Leah settle into a heartfelt, wide-ranging New Year’s Eve conversation about what it really means to carry on. From quiet family traditions and dive-bar burgers to the realities of agriculture, social media algorithms, and the courage it takes to speak hard truths, this episode is a reminder that most of life happens in the ordinary moments—and that those moments matter.
Together, they reflect on how a year can feel both painfully long and impossibly fast, why New Year’s resolutions don’t always serve us, and how shifting our focus toward goodness, community, and accountability can shape a healthier year ahead. The conversation also explores the weight women often carry, the power of vulnerability, and why asking questions - rather than passing judgment - can change everything.
This episode is honest, thoughtful, sometimes funny, and deeply grounded in lived experience from rural America. It’s an invitation to slow down, pay attention, and enter 2026 with grit, grace, and intention.
In This Episode, We Talk About:
What New Year’s Eve really looks like for most Americans
Why quiet traditions and family time still matter
Letting go of traditional New Year’s resolutions in favor of vision, intention, and focusing on the good
How social media algorithms reward outrage—and how to take back control of what we consume
The danger of comparison culture, especially for women
Alcohol, accountability, and the responsibility we have to keep each other safe
Vulnerability, wellness, and why sharing hard stories can save lives
Women’s tendency to put themselves last—and why that has to change
The realities of farming and ranching that most people never see
Judgment within agriculture—and why curiosity is more productive than criticism
Bridging rural and urban divides through storytelling and conversation
Leah’s upcoming speaking engagements and her hopes for women in agriculture
The importance of community problem-solving and civic engagement
Why being bold, even when it’s uncomfortable, is part of being a good citizen
Memorable Themes:
“Carry on” as an act of resilience
Choosing goodness over negativity
The power of showing up honestly
Community over algorithms
Curiosity instead of judgment
Shared humanity, even when our lives look different
Where to Find Us:
Facebook: Grit and Grace in the Heartland – Women in Agriculture
Website coming soon
Final Thought:
As Mary and Leah remind us, people are people, no matter where we live or what we do. As we step into 2026, may we look out for one another, ask better questions, stay connected to our communities, and move forward with both grit and grace.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, share it with a friend, and help us continue telling the stories of women in agriculture.

00:00
Mary and I'm Leah and welcome to Grit and Grace in the Heartland. Hello, Leah. How are you? good afternoon. Happy almost new year. Yeah. Happy New Year's Eve. I can't believe it is the end of 2025, the year that is felt fast and slow, like a miserably long dentist appointment all at the same time. Uh huh. Yes. That's a very good way of describing it.
00:30
it's really remarkable because it's actually beginning the same way that it ended and it began as it began also because this weather we've had in Nebraska went in the same with this mild dry weather. So it's not really very remarkable. And yet I think about last January and the blissful ignorance going into a new year and then it wasn't even one month in and things just started going bonkers.
00:58
you know, in every direction, especially for those of us who with the government or in a nonprofit or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't think I said anything in the first two episodes recorded that we've recorded so far. I am in Minnesota and it is uh gently snow flurrying out there. It's really beautiful. Like a beautiful New Year's Eve of my childhood. Always was, it seems. Yes. So what are you guys doing this evening for fun?
01:28
Not a lot of excitement going on around here. New Year's Eve is typically pretty quiet for us. Of course, our eldest teenager has her set of fun plans. We're hanging out at home. We are playing in a bowl game today, I guess, for Nebraska. And our 10-year-old asked for waffles. And I thought that was really sweet because that is actually what my mom tended to fix for us on New Year's Eve, waffles or pancakes.
01:57
And so that's what we're doing for New Year's Eve tonight and probably play some card games or something with her and call it an early night. I learned that the New Year comes in whether I'm awake to see it turn or not. I'm not staying up till midnight. Rarely do. Sometimes I, you know, get curious about the events in the big city and I love good music. So I would try
02:23
I loved Dick Clark. I loved his New Year's Eve rockin', Eve, whatever it was called. I love music and I love the interviews that he would do with people. And I liked to see the sparkly and shiny, exciting things from New York, but I have no desire to plop myself into the middle of that many people and be there. But typically I don't make it past the evening news. Yeah. And I would stay up to watch the stuff from 10 o'clock till midnight.
02:52
but we don't have actual network TV at my house because our cable company decided that there was no reason for them to provide that anymore, our internet company. So they don't even offer it anymore. And that's the only business we have access to for our internet where we live. So we don't have any way to watch anything. So why stay up? Let it go. Yep. We have
03:19
the best dive bar in Minnesota in LaSore. And it's called the Bar and Grill. my parents, God love them, sent us some gratuitous money for Christmas, just a little bit. it came today. It took nine days to get a Christmas card from Whitefield, Maine to LaSore, Minnesota. And uh I saw what was in the card and I said, uh since it's just you and I, darling husband, I said,
03:48
Would you like to get a burger from the Dive Bar in town tonight for dinner? Because we order and go pick it up and eat at home. And he said, I think that sounds like a wonderful Christmas gift from your parents. I said, that's what we're going to do. So we're going to get really yummy Dive Bar burgers and the best onion rings ever for dinner. There you go. I love stories of little places like that and try really hard when we...
04:14
travel or go visit communities to find those kinds of places because I just love their stories. And I know working in retail and food, the margins are tight and they appreciate the support. good for you guys and it'll be fun. And it'll be yummy. Oh my goodness. We only do it about once every six months because it's not an inexpensive bar. It's not a $50 plate by any stretch, but you know.
04:41
I don't like to spend money on food when we can make food here because we really like cooking. But sometimes you just want a good burger from somebody else. That's right. And a night out of the kitchen. get that. Yeah. So that's how we're going to celebrate New Year's Eve. The dog will be at our feet, not begging. She just watches us eat. She does not beg. And uh my husband will surreptitiously drop his hand down so she can get a taste of the burger.
05:09
I love it. It's the normalizing of what New Year's Eve really is like for a good majority of Americans. And our New Year's Eve was always about family and again, pretty uneventful, spent at home and just cherishing that time together, simple, and you know, as harder as we were teenagers and had jobs in town and things like that. And I had new appreciation after working in a grocery store in high school for
05:39
holiday preparations and all of those things by working. But the time spent together at home doing just the simple everyday things, that really is most of America. it really wasn't until the invention of social media that I think so many people started including myself once in a while to get carried away with some idea that you weren't doing it right if you weren't doing it this way or that way instead of recognizing that.
06:06
people have always been people and they generally stick to their family traditions and routines and don't have to change who you are just because you see these shiny pictures saying, hey, if you're not doing New Year's Eve like this, you're not doing it right. So I appreciate hearing your version of what New Year's Eve looks like. Well, it's always been pretty quiet because I don't want to be running the roads with people who have been drinking. Yes, same.
06:34
Same, same, same. I wrote about that today. I've just been very convicting my whole life because of the tragedy that occurred in my family and conversations about the dangers of consuming excess alcohol, not just at New Year's, but any time. And then with that came pretty direct communications from our parents as we aged about real consequences of those decisions. And also
07:04
What I appreciated was being told early on that if I ever needed an out, I could call. I might be in trouble when I get home, but always felt safe to call for support if I was in a position where I couldn't drive. I also had to be bold and to take the keys away from others who shouldn't be. this mantra in 2025, so many of us want to put our heads down and not look around and not get involved.
07:32
stay in our own lanes. Well, the unfortunate side effect of that sometimes is not being bold enough to call out what isn't okay. I commend, I have a nephew for instance, I commend him. I a friend um who have taken the keys away from others before. I'm so proud of them because they didn't just do it for that friend, but potentially anybody else who could have been hurt.
08:01
It was not easy to do, especially when you're a young person. It was right thing to do. And both times, thankfully, we're given grace and not a hard time by the party they took the keys from, but really appreciation for being able to be bold and say you're not safe to drive. so more of that. I just wish that we could be remembering to be a good citizen means paying attention and being bold when you need to, to look out for others.
08:30
um This episode will be out after New Year's and I'm just gonna say it don't drink and drive It doesn't have to be around a holiday. Just don't drink and drive and Also, do not get into a car with someone who's been drinking 100 % a bad plan don't do it. so you had some things you wanted to talk about today So what did you want to share? Yeah, I do You know, I'm not huge on New Year's resolutions. I talked a little bit about that today
09:00
Mostly because we live in a world in agriculture that feels like we plan as well as we can, but we are really subject to whatever the day brings. So can be really difficult to plan and resolve. The only thing we have control over really is our attitude about how we face things. And even that is difficult at times. So I think it's always fun to visit with people and ask them, do you believe in resolutions?
09:27
I have others who say I don't do resolutions. have a vision board for the year, others who set goals for the year. I like talking about what I'm going to do more of instead of what I'm going to do less of because it seems that New Year's resolutions often get really critical and hyper-focused and focused and fixated on things like that. I mean, we're already our own harshest critics.
09:58
and we can get really hyper, hyper fixated on the faults within ourselves. I resolve to lose this much weight, whatever it might be. And maybe it's the age I'm at, but I feel more more convicted to talk about planning for all of the good to come and setting goals that have to do with being conscientious of focusing on blessings, focusing on the good things rather than
10:28
all the other stuff in the yuck and trying to look for the good things. So I have a vision board that I've started putting some things on it to inspire me, to motivate me in 2026, and then just to help center me to stay focused on the good and hold onto the good for the times when things are out of control or out of my reach or hard. I feel like they just helped me more
10:57
mentally and physically prepare to carry on. And that is the word my great-grandmother used. And I just think that especially in light of how difficult 2025 has been for so many people, that it feels more doable and realistic for me anyway to step away from calling it resolutions, but being more focused on the goodness and the things
11:27
that are there and with that is how can I help share that in a way that is helpful for others? Or how can I help be accountable to myself or others who are looking for accountability to do and to be those ways and those things? um Just had that conversation this morning with someone that was saying how it seems like they really try and social media's algorithms fight that tooth and nail.
11:57
that what sells is sensation and drama and hard and shortcomings and failures and anger. And that, whether we believe it or not, does take a toll on us and can consume us. And so the intentional efforts, one thing at a time, to vow to step away from getting sucked into all of that negativity and hard.
12:23
that maybe we can be the ones who change the algorithms for good, but it will take a conscientious effort of everybody to shift that focus towards the good, the better, the improvements, rather than dwelling in the past and the hard and the shortcomings of the past. em It's going to be a tough exercise because I know I face hard things ahead of me this year.
12:54
But I feel like it is time. I owe it to myself. I owe it to my community. And I would say to the women listening that you owe it to yourselves and your families and your communities to try mightily to do the same and see what we can get done. Wow, that's a lot. I have a thing about the algorithm.
13:22
And I want to tell anybody listening that the more you take in the negative on Facebook or Instagram or any social media, the more it feeds you of what you choose to look at for longer than a second. And it's funny because with my Facebook page, I tend to follow very uplifting pages like
13:49
I want to learn about farming. I want to learn about animal husbandry. I want to learn about gardening. And so those are the pages that I follow. So my Facebook feed feeds me all kinds of uplifting positive things. So if you can just maybe not get sucked into the negative posts and follow the positive posts, maybe that would change the algorithm for you. agree. I am being very intentional that way too. I've actually
14:18
My daughter has been practicing with me, I'm very proud of her. She tells me that teenagers are starting to limit their social media interactions because they recognize some of those dangerous paths they go down where they get so caught up in comparison and recognize that they need to step back from it. How good of them because it's got to be so difficult. And I 100 % agree. I have seen the data to prove you're exactly right.
14:48
and that my audience reach becomes so limited when I focus on the joyful, happy, uplifting things versus the runaway numbers I get. If I cite even something that seems fairly insignificant, but this can be a loaded word, for instance, um it's wild. It's absolutely wild to me. And it speaks volumes about
15:15
the larger hands that are at work here who are profiting off the brokenness and um the hardships and the way people feel. Like today, my social media feed ads are full of not atypical for New Year's Eve. It's all about your resolutions and focus on health and wellness for next year. But a lot of it just has an icky feel to it because
15:42
Behind the shiny and beautiful advertising is the scrolling you're seeing. I'm coming up short. I'm not good enough. I've got so much work to do on myself. And don't get me wrong, women tend to barely invested in trying to self-improve all kinds of aspects about ourselves. But these people are profiting off of it, making money off of the idea that they can sell you something that will make you a
16:11
better human being, a better woman, a stronger woman, a fitter woman, a more beautiful woman, whatever it is. I don't like it. It feels gross to me and non-authentic um when there's so much money attached to this whole industry. So I have tried to X out of it and that's people don't know how to use their social media entirely well. As you say, you do hold the power. You can change what you're looking at.
16:39
You're going to have to be dedicated to putting in the effort to do that and shifting and changing what you're looking at to get it to be full of sea otters and ponies and kids and chickens. Happy things. The way social media used to be. remember when Facebook was brand new and that's all that it was. It wasn't even a place for news headlines. And I want it to be like that again. That's why I try to look at the good stuff and not the bad stuff because that's how it keeps sending me good stuff.
17:09
I don't know. I don't love reading about people's misery. So I try not to. And the whole thing about how to be prettier or thinner or whatever. Look, we are humans and we age. It's a fact. And the older you get, the more wrinkles you get, the heavier your eyelids get, the grayer your hair gets.
17:39
And no matter what you do, you're not gonna leave a good looking corpse if you live a good life. That's true. If you live a good life, you're gonna have laugh lines and frown lines, and you're probably gonna have gray hair because why color it every four weeks? Because that's what I would have to do. I'm not coloring my hair every four weeks, that gets expensive. And I have really great fingernails,
18:06
They grow fast. They're heavy and thick. They're pretty. They're really nice fingernails. I break one a week because I do stuff. I do dishes and I hook dog up and I do laundry and nails break. I do not understand this obsession with having your nails done every couple of weeks. don't get it. Yeah, it's a, I mean, I read some figures, the billions of dollars pouring into the industries.
18:35
of health and wellness. And with it, there's great stuff. I'm so happy to see beef tallow reemerge as a healthy, natural substance. You can access the benefits to beef industry and it's good for the skin for those who like it and use it. That's a win for an example. And I do feel an emergence of interest in natural remedies and natural tools available to help people feel and look better than
19:03
then maybe they are sleep better, whatever it might be. So those things are a win. People are doing their research and evaluating their options that are out there. And I do think that is a great thing. It's provided ways for small businesses to take root and grow and some things like that. So that's a win, I think. There's still a long ways to go.
19:31
it'll be interesting to see what the history books say of us one day if people are still reading, writing and reading history about what the measurable impact social media had on human beings. um I do believe a strong impact. And for all of the bad we talk about, I think there's so many elements of good that has happened. And my melanoma story is just one of them.
20:00
I will not lie, the day that I chose to share my bare face with the first where I'd been biopsied and then back after my surgery, it was not pretty. And I have wrestled over the years with how G-rated to R-rated to make my content be because I in a small community. I'm surrounded by family and extended family.
20:29
Putting yourself out there, be it a podcast or on social media or speaking, it is not easy, most particularly because of what goes on in your local community. And I had never really been so bold before and shared, in my opinion, what was pretty ugly. And very personal. And very personal.
20:56
kicking myself because I had already waited longer than I should have to have gone to the doctor. And I wasn't met with ugliness as a response. I was met with so much gratitude. And grace. Yes. Both from people who had ugly things happen to them. Oh, Mary, I had people sending me private photos of what skin cancer has done to them, where they had waited and it required
21:26
surgery and boy has surgery improved over the years as people understand more about how skin recovers. But people who have been disfigured in order to have their lives saved all the way to countless women in particular say, gave me the kick in the ass that I needed to go to the dermatologist and I have cancer too. I was very humbled by it.
21:55
what you did was really extremely important.
22:03
And by goodness, why do we humans have to learn our lessons the hard way? So often I don't know. uh And I learned mine the hard way and used it to curate a message that I hoped would help someone else to prevent having to learn something the hard way. And I know I have and I hear from people. um My goodness, by and large, Mary, it was women. And I know I have more women listeners and followers than men.
22:30
But women put themselves last. They always do. And that empowered me to say, can keep sharing this message and I can share other vulnerable things if it means one more person will not put off their wellness visits. Absolutely. And Leah, I'm going to tell you something. All of your beauty, you are a beautiful lady, but all of your beauty is in your sparkly eyes. Thank you.
23:00
I get my blue sparkly eyes from my father and as the doctor tells me, they are my nemesis for why I will continue to fight cancer the rest of my life. Uh-huh. Yup. No, um as for the social media thing, I am really grateful for social media because I never would have met you without it. True story. We wouldn't be doing this. That's right. You're my friend from afar and I am so blessed.
23:29
to have made connections because of social media. I say my sister from another mother because we are so connected. There is so much more alikeness than unalikeness in this great country. Just because my hobbies are cows and crops doesn't make me anything unlike a woman who loves some other beautiful, wonderful, unique aspect of agriculture.
23:59
And we all get hung up on our titles and what we do and who we are. And it can at times put us in, we put ourselves in separate buckets, but we are not. We're all very much the same. We just do it differently. m We sure do. And we do things the same too, because everybody puts on their pants one leg at a time. And I have to remind myself of that all the time.
24:28
when I'm doing the other podcast because I talk to some pretty famous people sometimes. And the first time I interviewed Joel Salatin, I was shaking because he's famous in agriculture. And I was only six months into being a podcaster. I was a baby podcaster. And I was nervous. And I flat out told him, I said, I am so nervous. And he was like, Mary, we all put our pants on one leg at a time. m
24:57
And I went, oh yeah, we do. And he has the most beautiful southern accent. And when he said that and he laughed, I was like, okay, we're good. yeah, we're all the same, but we all do it differently. And that's okay. That's what makes everything so interesting. telling more of those stories, finding ways to connect and relate and share is the key to keeping us the United States.
25:24
rather than getting caught up again in those algorithms or sensational headlines that have you thinking it's anything but that because that is not reality. The reality are we are people being people. We want clean, safe places, access to jobs and taking care of our families and to work hard and to be able to plan for retirement and to stay healthy. We all really want the same things at the end of the day and we cannot buy into.
25:53
So it's 2026, 10 be our year, and I say our year, it's the year for the American people to remember this is our country, to get out there, shake hands with someone you don't know, get to know your neighbors, understand your local community issues.
26:18
work together. I'm so proud of my community. We're working through a really tough issue right now with our recycling center. It's losing money because just like a lot of things, it's expensive to operate, labor is hard to come by, trying so hard to save it. And that does not line up with any particular party affiliation. It is citizens who recognize that it is important and we've got to try to problem solve them.
26:46
I'm proud because our community has not had like a big issue in a while that required so much involvement. And I'm very hopeful that we can find a good solution because we do not want to lose our recycling center. Well, I hope it gets resolved and I hope you get to keep it because uh having some place to take your Amazon boxes is really important. And I'm being smart as I'm absolutely making light of it.
27:14
Recycling is important. uh So can I ask you about your speaking engagements for 2026 because I haven't really gotten the story on this yet. ah Yes. Just decided as I opened this new chapter with more control over my schedule that I can say yes to some of the invitations that have floated my direction, particularly the last two years. I'm very excited to stick my toes in the water.
27:44
and do something that I haven't done in a long time. I did participate in public speaking as a high school kid, as a college kid, and over the years I've been asked to MC events or speak on particular topics. So this is the first time that I get to curate some of my own messages in collaboration with the needs or the wants of these organizations who are looking to add
28:10
to a women's conference, for instance, that'll be happening in Mitchell, South Dakota, and another gathering in Oregon, and another gathering in Eastern Nebraska. Women's events focused on bringing women in agriculture from all facets of agriculture together over a day or a two-day event and participate in that event. And the messages that I hope to focus on are things I care about and things they...
28:39
they care about. Sometimes it's just nice to add a fresh perspective into a particular conversation. And the thing I have found over the years is it's easier for people to say hard truths when it's not in your own backyard. bring somebody in from a ways away to talk through some hard things. And I hope that my keynote ah breakout and workshop type
29:08
work is more about collaborative and sharing ideas and being able to ask questions and share ideas than it is a one-way street. uh I believe that the Lord gifted me with some skills and abilities to help people feel like they can ask those questions and sometimes be the person in the room to say,
29:34
the things that's on the minds of others who don't feel like they have a voice or empowered to use their voice and ask the things. the theme is pretty unique though across the board as I hear from organizations looking for a speaker and it's bringing women together, having community, learning from one another and really leaning into one another, propping each other up to keep going.
30:04
And I certainly don't have all the answers. I hope that I can bring some honest, open dialogue, conversation starters, and help empower the people in those communities to find some of the answers they're looking for, even if it is as simple as just helping them curate their own storytelling abilities so they can
30:33
advocate for their communities. In particular, I know what's going on in some of these areas and it is they are feeling that rural-urban divide. They are feeling the sprawl of urban development. They are feeling compelled to advocate for better education on land transition for the farmers and ranchers and estate planning. They're feeling...
31:02
the stress of how to stand up for themselves when their urban neighbors are telling them, appreciate you, but we don't like your dust and we don't like your noise. We don't like your smell. um It's not that we're better. It's not that we're superior people. It's not that we're more valuable than any other community. It's just that
31:29
Farmers and ranchers historically have been misunderstood because they stay focused on getting their work done and not in a position to have to stand up for themselves and justify their existence and explain why things are. And some people say, just keep doing what you're doing. You don't need to take time to explain. Well, I had read some statistics just a couple of days ago that we are at the lowest number
31:59
of agricultural-backrounded elected representatives that our country has ever known in 250 years. And that does influence policy development. So if they can't be from an ag background, then they need to understand it at least. And that is going to require us in the trenches to do more and try to get the word out there about what it is we do and why we do it.
32:30
When is your first um speaking engagement? I have a tentative one in early February. Over the holidays, they're still trying to work through their agenda. And another one in the middle of February. okay. Yep, another one in March. So I've got some time. And then I will pick up some, if asked, hopefully, to do some other work throughout the year.
32:58
I have some volunteer things I'm lining up as well, opportunity to get plugged into my community and do some things that I think will be helpful. I hope they'll be helpful. So lots of exciting things ahead of me and I'll be shaking in my boots too because the fear of rejection is real no matter how old you are, how experienced you are. And of course everyone has the bad dream that they forget what they were going to say. It's time to say it.
33:28
So just picture the audience in their underwear, It'll be okay. Right. And the uniqueness is, you know, a lot of this doesn't really have a script. And I will prepare and do the best I can to answer the questions that come at me. And still I wrestle with what most people in production agriculture do. We are private people. It is not easy.
33:56
to talk about certain topics in any family, in any operation. um That's not even really to do with money, but it really has more to do with the dynamics and the challenges. So I want to be who I am and I want to be authentic and transparent and honest. I'm not showy or fancy. There are other wonderful ag advocates out there who deliver these
34:26
high quality, beautifully written, constructed messages and those matter also. That is not me. And it wouldn't be me if I tried to be, but I also want to be able to deliver the message well and earn the compensation that people have generously offered me. And I want to learn from the communities I get to visit. I'm so excited to be blessed by getting to meet.
34:54
farmers and ranchers who look very different from me. am so excited for you. You're going to be fantastic and really proud of you because one of my greatest fears is public speaking, like standing in front of people in the same space talking to them. I don't want to do it. It scares me to death. This is the most public speaking I want to do right here on the podcast.
35:22
I appreciate that very much. It certainly had to grow on me. I credit my parents with encouraging me and making me do things that were uncomfortable. um And I grew into it and I did very well in high school competition in particular and learned things about myself um that were important. They propelled me into much of the rest of
35:47
of what I have done, what's really hard is when people say, who are you and what do you do for a living? It is difficult to describe because for as much as we recognize who we call advocates or influencers or motivator, motivational speakers, or these other things in the world of farming and ranching, we're still pretty harsh according to identities and work. And so
36:18
I am fully prepared to recognize there are people who have, I mean, not to my face, but to some of relatives' faces or in writing have said you don't even have a real job in what you do. You just talk. I'm not completely surprised because that's just how we Americans can be in particular. I also recognize that I'm able to do some things others wish they could do.
36:48
um don't have time to do. So I carry the responsibility with a high level of commitment to honoring my family, honoring my community, and still being who I am at the same time.
37:09
It's not easy. It's hard when people say things like to my teenage daughter, for instance, that aren't necessarily kind, not unkind sometimes either, but humans can be pretty judgy, pretty harsh. Yes. And I said, I don't know I said this to you in one of the interviews on the other podcast or not. I said it to somebody. It's funny because we're told as girls and women not to judge, not to be judgy.
37:39
But every human being has to be judgmental because it's how we work through the world. So there's a difference between being judgy and opinionated and making somebody miserable with it or being judgmental as in looking at a situation and making a decision about what you're going to do in that situation. And it's very hard for me when it's people within our own circle of agriculture doing it to one another.
38:07
cautioned someone yesterday in a comment thread. I sometimes say, just need to stay out of the comments, but I go into them because I can't stand it when I see an ag person picking on another ag person. this one was as simple as really being harsh on someone regarding when they cab their cows in the year. And I used to be somewhat more judgmental about that, wondering why would people cab their cows this month of the year, for instance. The older I get, the more I understand.
38:37
People generally have reasons for doing the things the way they do. It's not my place to pass judgment about when a rancher is calving their cows. Now, if they want to complain about it constantly, you might say, why are you calving your cows when you're going to get a blizzard? But we cannot afford to do that to one another. It has no place.
38:59
at all within our industries because it's already hard enough. There's already so few of us left standing. We're trying to invite young people in. We're trying to invite people in who are curious and interested. We cannot be doing that to one another. I did school somebody yesterday, might have left my page. I got unfollowed a bunch last week um because I was accused of not standing up for every uh
39:27
cow-calf producer in this country by talking about country of origin labeling and gosh, we can go into the weeds on just about any subject and people will have strong opinions. But the days for passing so much judgment between ourselves within our communities have got to stop because we just don't have time for that crap. We just can't. Well, the wiggle room isn't there. We need to invite people in.
39:57
to the circle, as it were, of producing food. we can't be alienating people and then expect them to want to join the party. And instead of alienating and judging, ask someone why they do something the way they do. I bet you they'll have a very good reason. And if not, they might even say, I would like to do it differently, but I don't know how. Can you help me?
40:26
There's your open window to talk about moving your calving season. Yes, and it doesn't even have to be about calving season. I mean, I had somebody ask me one time why I do all the glasses first when I do dishes by hand, and then bowls, and then plates, and then silverware, and then the pants. And I was like, because the glasses are usually the cleanest thing I'm going to put in the sink. It's the easiest place to start.
40:52
And by the time I get to the pans, I'm just going to dump all the water and start over with hot soapy water and that cleans pans really well. And I said, how do you do it? And they were like the exact opposite of how you do it. I said, does it work for you? And they were like, yeah. And I said, well, this works for me. So I guess we're both winning on it. Fantastic. Yes. More of that. And, you know, I asked my sister, who's a brilliant thinker and does so much research. Have we always been this way?
41:22
always been so easy to move to judgment about others. everything. Everything. Oh my word, I follow this brilliant food blogger who took it in the shorts over having Jell-O at Christmas. It's not a real salad, you know. And I thought to myself, have we always been like that? We just didn't have keyboards in front of us? um Or is it to become more worse?
41:51
She believes we've always been this way. We just had this filtering mechanism that slowed us down or made us think better of it before we uttered it out loud or we typed it or wrote it in a letter. And now it's just full-on access, instantaneous responses where in maybe three days, or if your grandmother had read what you wrote, you wouldn't have said that. m
42:18
oh It's not a good look. I wonder if it exists in other cultures. I don't know. I hear from Canadians and Australians in particular a lot who say they have their own same problems. But other cultures, I don't know. I'd be curious. I have no idea, but I do know that when I moved from the East Coast to Minnesota, it was terrible culture shock because
42:44
People in Minnesota are very, very, very hung up on their words for their things. And the first time someone said, I'm going to make a hot dish, I said, I don't know what that is. And they were like, what? And I said, I'm not from Minnesota. I grew up in Maine. What's a hot dish? They were like, well, people from New England call it a casserole. And I said, oh!
43:14
Okay, so how do you make a hot dish? And they were like, well, usually it's tater tots and some kind of ground beef or meat and onion and some kind of cream of soup. And I said, yeah, that sounds like a casserole to me. And they looked at me like I was swearing because I wasn't saying hot dish.
43:36
Oh, we're pretty amazing, aren't we? Imagine if we just took off our packs of all of that stuff we carry all the time and just focused on getting the work done and having fun and learning. Uh-huh. And that's as close as you're ever going to get me to sounding like a real Minnesotan. I have such a hard time with the accent because I cannot do it very well. Well, it'll be fun because, again, I'm getting to dive into immersing myself into the different cultures of agriculture.
44:05
that are out there outside of my comfort zone. And that's my goal in the long term is I want to be the minority in the room instead of being in an echo chamber with other people who already feel and think and look like me. I want to be able to do that. I feel empowered. I feel strong enough for it that to bridge the gaps and the misunderstandings between us, it will require that of many, many, many of us.
44:35
And so if I can do something to help this podcast be heard in a community we'd never expect, or I can go speak or do a workshop in a community looking for an opportunity to learn and grow from someone they don't know or recognize, that's my big dream. That's my big goal. We'll see where my path leads me. I think your path is going to lead you wherever you need it to lead you. That's what I think.
45:05
Thank you. appreciate the vote of support. It is a, I'm thankful for a small group of online friends who do as I am doing with, again, as you will say, putting yourself out there because it isn't easy. It's still considered pretty unusual. And it's one thing to put it on a keyboard as I do.
45:31
or even a live video and it's another to go into the room with people and shake their hands and hear their stories and hope that they will accept me and hope that I will represent myself authentically and measure up to their expectations. as I tell my daughters, doing scary things in your life never does stop. It just looks different. The older you get and the only
46:01
regrets you'll have as if you never made yourself try and skim everything because you don't know what will happen.
46:08
My friend Morgan says, doing the damn thing when it's a scary thing. And that's how she gets herself through it. need to take some of that in and use more of it about getting myself back into the gym and spending time lifting weights like us menopausal women are supposed to be doing so we don't lose bone density. Just go lift a cow.
46:38
plenty of feed buckets out there. Oh, for sure. I can't imagine. That's why I was going to ask you. was thinking about it this morning and it's really not about women and ag. It's just about ag. You live on the ranch, right?
46:59
Yes. So are the cows a long way away from the house or is the barn right there or how does it work? So our ranch is spread out over some distance. Thankfully, the furthest piece is like eight miles away. But I live actually what you call in the middle. So in the summertime, I'm surrounded by the cattle. In the wintertime, they are not near me unless they're on a corn stalk.
47:29
Every day requires getting in a vehicle and driving to where the work is happening. That's good and that's hard, depending on what time of year it is. But yeah, we are segmented across the space. Most of the work is happening over where my mom and dad live at what we call headquarters. I have my brother and sister-in-law and my baby niece here as well. They're all kind of on the other end of the ranch. So we kind of
47:57
We have it surrounded, so we always keeping our heads on a swivel about what's going on around us. And I actually live in the home I grew up in, which is pretty fun and remarkable story where my parents raised us. Nice. Okay. And then the second question I have, because I was thinking about this this morning too, because I'm trying to picture your life, you know, because we don't know each other. We know each other through words, not through being in person. But
48:25
Do you guys grow crops too? Yes, we do. What do you grow? Yep. So we have several things that we do depending on the year, the weather, markets and the need. We do corn that is grown for ethanol and that is a loaded conversation for many people. It's called crop ground. We grow soybeans for soy use oh because crop rotation in our opinions
48:54
good solid crop rotation is best for the soil. grow feed, which is sorghum, sedan, and rye, and wheat that we use to rest in the crop rotations, but also for cover crop use and for feed for grazing for our cattle. We grow alfalfa. Alfalfa is what we call an expensive insurance item in the event of a horrible drought, a horrible summer drought.
49:23
Alfalfa is the insurance that you have to feed your cattle when pasture conditions warrant it. And I've only had to do that once since we moved back home in 2012. We had a terrible flash drought. So those are the crops growing at any given time, though we have some wonderful turnips that we planted this fall. Again, those are known as a cover crop, uh grown for soil health and preventing dirt blowing off.
49:51
retaining moisture in the soil. There's lots of reasons we do. so we're very, very diversified. And then we have our cattle operation. And what most people in this part of Nebraska do is that be very diversified. And it has been a blessing. It's a blessing financially, because when one market is good, typically another one is bad. And so one year,
50:20
the cattle may support, the ranch better, and one year the crops may support the operation better. What it means though is there is no rest from the work. And the truth is most operations are diversified more than one way. So this terrible, terrible narrative, and I just have to look away from the comments about lazy.
50:42
lazy farmers only work 90 days out of the year. It's so far from the truth. There just are very, very, very few American farmers who only work a few months of the year. That's just grossly, grossly exaggerated. it's a blessing to have the diversification. It's also a great challenge because there are pain points in the year where all of it's hollering for attention and there's not enough help to go around.
51:13
Again, people need to stop being so judgy. Yes. Ask some questions. You will learn things that you didn't even want to know. And as I said this morning, for those of us in particular in facets of the livestock business, the cow-calf business in America, seven out of 10 years are not profitable.
51:39
ranchers are kind of hearing that they're the career of the year because things have been so good this year and they were good last year. But history tells us since 1976 when my father came home from the army and my grandmother would have said before him and my great grandfather would have said before her, that good times don't last for cow-calf producers, not for very long. And since
52:07
bad policy to cold, probably going back as early as the 1970s. We can break that down on a different day. The cow-calf producer has not been able to be profitable, not all that often, and it has required those operators to diversify. And when I say diversify, I also mean that somebody, quote, went to town to work. Didn't reduce the labor at home has required
52:38
that of one or more of the family members or on any particular operation. we are, we're at a precipice now because of the rising cost to live as a family. And we can sort that out a different day. What does it mean to cost to live? Has a different definition for different people.
53:01
There's a reason why young people aren't going into the cow-calf business is because it feels insurmountable when you recognize that you're going to take on living things who don't look at the clock. And you're also going to have to subsidize that by having other streams of income. Yes, and living things that get sick for no reason or for reasons that you could have prevented, but you didn't know enough to prevent. oh One of my
53:30
One of my people that I follow on Facebook lost two goats today because she didn't know about hookworm. Oh yeah.
53:41
And they're very upset about losing these guys because they were only like a year old. And I always say goats and sheep could just die for no particular reason at all. If you look at them wrong, sometimes they'll die. Yeah. So you just don't know with animals. And you can do everything right as long as you know what you're doing. You know, there are things that you just can't know until you experience them. Exactly.
54:11
when you are responsible for living things, you're also recognizing that Mother Nature will show her hand, I call her her, forgive me, when she feels like it. And that can be a wildfire, a drought, tornadoes, hail, horrific blizzards that weren't predicted. I have seen it and lived it, experienced it. And I have been in a couple of very
54:40
very sobering, in particular, events in my life. And I thought if anyone who didn't understand agriculture would be standing looking over my shoulder, they would all say, you are absolutely out of your mind for doing this. gam—not gambling. Farming and ranching is gambling. It high stakes gambling.
55:06
That is money, that is time, and that is emotional fortitude. And there isn't a hard, hard job. And there's no insurance that covers the loss.
55:23
in the terms that aren't necessarily about the finances of the animals, but the loss of generations of seed stock, the loss of your mental and physical wellbeing when you go through said events like that is really hard. And I hate that we have to do more
55:53
as we go about recruiting people to join us. Join hands with us and let me tell you how crazy you have to be to want to do this. But I don't want to create resentment when people said, no one ever told me that it would be like this. So being very authentic about it, it matters.
56:15
Yeah. And the thing is, Leah, there are people who work on oil rigs and do really dangerous work, and they love their jobs, but it doesn't make it any less dangerous. So it's not just ranching and farming that's hard. There are so many jobs that are really hard and really scary and really life-threatening, and people still do them. Yes. And there's a thrill and a passion and a love and a fulfillment in it.
56:44
And that's the piece that carries you on. Yeah. Yeah. So I think there are young people coming up who are very interested in raising animals and growing crops and becoming the people who take care of the animals, know, like veterinarians. And there are people coming up behind us who will want to do these jobs. And I just want the kids that are coming up.
57:11
to learn about what's involved before they decide to do it. And find those supports and networks. And we are doing better all the time and across the Great Plains in particular, having resources together to be there to support people when they need it, which is so good. Sometimes it's a listening ear, sometimes it's technical advice.
57:35
every element that you can think of and how can I help this person be successful. I'm so thankful for those efforts.
57:44
Yep, exactly. I feel like I'm saying yep and exactly a lot. I'm sorry. uh All right. Well, we've been talking for almost an hour, so I think we should wrap it up. You can find us for the time being at Grit and Grace in the Heartland Women in Agriculture on Facebook. And I am building the website and it should be up here very, very soon. So excited to be on this journey. So excited to connect with other women and help tell their stories.
58:14
support one another as we travel into this new year. I really hope it's a better year than 2025. Me too, sister. Me too. All right. In the meantime, have some grit and grace.
59 min

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Grit and Grace in the Heartland: Women in Agriculture is the podcast celebrating the strength, resilience, and wisdom of women who work the land and feed our communities. Through honest…

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Grit and Grace in the Heartland: Women In Agriculture

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