Grownish Women

What happens when the diagnosis you've been learning about for your child turns out to be yours too?

In this episode of Grownish Women, Holly talks with Niki, a pastor and mom she met at the Autism Caring Center. Niki was diagnosed with autism and ADHD in her 40s. It started after her daughter's autism diagnosis. Then, after her father died unexpectedly, Niki began sorting through his house and noticed some patterns: six pairs of the same sneakers, chapstick in every room, and "doom piles" everywhere. She started to see more of her dad in herself than she expected.

Niki talks honestly about the grief, anger, and freedom that came with her late diagnosis. She explains what unmasking really feels like, how ADHD medication changed her daily life (and her caffeine habit), and how her diagnosis changed her marriage and her parenting. She also shares what she'd tell any mom who is sitting there wondering, "Is this me too?"

If you've ever felt like you've spent your life making yourself smaller to keep everyone else comfortable, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, we talk about:

• How her daughter's diagnosis and her father's death led to her own autism and ADHD diagnosis
• Signs of autism in women that often get missed, like picky eating, texture issues, and struggling with change you didn't choose
• Why reading Unmasking Autism was so jarring she had to put it down for a month
• What the adult diagnosis process looked like
• Starting ADHD medication in midlife, and the caffeine conversation with her doctor
• Having a doctor who understands perimenopause
• How a diagnosis can shift a marriage and bring more grace into a relationship
• Parenting a child who shares your diagnosis
• Grief over the kid she might have been if she'd been diagnosed sooner
• Rejection sensitive dysphoria, overexplaining, and the mental load
• Why "self-care" isn't the same as actually taking care of yourself
• Her message for moms wondering if this is them too: you are not broken, and you don't need to be fixed

Resources mentioned:

• Unmasking Autism by Devon Price
• Autism Caring Center
• Skylight Calendar, which Niki calls "life-changing"
• Psalm 139: "I am fearfully and wonderfully made"

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who might need to hear it, and leave us a review. It helps other women in the messy middle find the show.

"Don't tell your sister I told you this, but…"

If that sentence sounds familiar, this episode is for you.

Triangulation is when two people stop talking to each other directly and everything goes through a third person. In families with a narcissistic mother, that third person is Mom. She controls what gets passed along, what gets twisted, and what gets left out. Siblings end up knowing each other only through her version of the story.

This one is deeply personal for me. I explain what triangulation is and the different forms it takes. I walk through the golden child, scapegoat and invisible child roles, and I get into the big question: why would a mother divide the children she's supposed to protect? I also share my own story: seeing the pattern clearly after my mom moved in with me, realizing how much time I'd lost with my sister, and choosing grace and boundaries at the same time.

When I asked on Threads whether anyone else's mom had pitted them against their siblings, more than 200 of you answered, "Yes. Me too." I'm reading some of your stories in this episode, because you need to hear them. I know I did.

You are not alone, you are not crazy, and you are not the problem.

I'm not a therapist, and nothing in this episode is a diagnosis. When I say "narcissistic mother," I mean a pattern of behavior, not a clinical label. If this episode stirs things up for you, please reach out to someone you trust or a licensed mental health professional.

In this episode:

• The four common forms of triangulation: the messenger, the comparison, the ally recruit, and the go-between
• Why the golden child and scapegoat roles are about Mom's needs, not who her kids really are
• The reasons behind it: control, staying at the center, avoiding accountability, and patterns passed down through generations
• How to stop carrying messages, reconnect with your siblings, and protect your boundaries
• Why forgiveness is yours to define, and doesn't have to mean reconciliation

Let's connect:
Find me at Grown-ish Woman on Instagram, Threads, and Facebook. New episodes drop every Friday. If this episode hit close to home, share it with your sibling. I'm sharing it with mine.

Have you ever felt like you’re not photogenic? It turns out, that feeling is rarely about how you actually look. It can be a protective belief, a way of bracing for being seen before anyone else has the chance to judge you.

In this episode of Grownish Women, Holly talks with Tracy about comparison, self-perception, and the features we fixate on that others may never even notice. The real work isn’t better lighting or a more flattering angle, it’s learning to see yourself, and your story, with more generosity.

About Tracy

Tracy is a portrait photographer, educator, and creator of Make Your Life a Masterpiece™. Through portraiture, legacy work, education, and retreats, she helps midlife women honor the life they’ve lived, reconnect with their identity, and build a meaningful next chapter.

My husband & I take on the 7-7-7 rule, the TikTok trend that says couples should go on a date every 7 days, an overnight getaway every 7 weeks, and a trip together every 7 months. We talk about the actual research behind why time together matters for a marriage, then get honest about what is realistic for us right now. The real takeaway is not about hitting the numbers. It is about being intentional with your person, even when life makes that hard.

Key Points:

• The 7-7-7 rule breakdown: a date every 7 days, an overnight getaway every 7 weeks, a trip every 7 months
• We admit they have never pulled off all three, and the every 7 months trip is the one that consistently falls apart for them
• Research shows couples who date regularly report higher relationship happiness
• Research shows couples report more affection and connection while away together than at home
• Research shows novel, shared experiences on vacation are linked to more intimacy after the trip ends, not just during it
• The main takeaway: the 7-7-7 rule is not a scoreboard. It is a reminder to be intentional, not a rigid standard to hit perfectly
• Discussion of what intentionality looks like in their current season of life, kids, budget, and time included

I'm sharing 53 hard-won lessons from the messy middle of adulthood, with a focus on self-trust, menopause, friendships, marriage, parenting grown kids, and letting go of what no longer fits. It's part pep talk, part permission slip, and part reality check for women navigating midlife change.

In this episode, I talk directly to you about what gets easier, what gets harder, and what finally stops mattering. The big themes are self-care, relationships, and reclaiming joy without apology.

I wrote all 53 myself, in honor of turning 53, one for every year. The full list is also up as a blog post at grownishwomen.com.

A few years ago, my dad passed away suddenly, and my family hadn't had the conversations we needed to have. There was no trust in place, no plan. My mom moved in, and almost overnight, I was raising my daughter and caring for my mother at the same time. If that sounds familiar, you're living the sandwich generation, and you're far from alone.

In this episode, I sit down with Joy Holte to talk about the realities of family caregiving, from spotting burnout and navigating sibling dynamics, to understanding what kind of outside help actually exists. Joy shares why caregiving is a growing crisis, how to tell when a parent needs help, and what families should ask before hiring in-home support. We also break down the difference between medical care and in-home care, the financial surprises families often face, and why end-of-life support requires both planning and rest.

This is a conversation we'll keep coming back to, because so many of us are in the middle of it right now, and it deserves more than one episode.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why family caregiving has become a growing crisis, with roughly 53 million caregivers in the U.S. and about 60% reporting burnout
• Why adult children often miss the signs that their parents need support
• The difference between medical care and in-home care, and what insurance may or may not cover
• The most important question to ask a care agency before hiring them
• What happens when a parent refuses help but the family knows support is needed
• End-of-life care, the paperwork that follows a death, and why rest matters just as much as practical help

Guest: Joy Holte
Joy Holte was the owner of one of the leading providers of trusted in-home senior care and companion care. With more than 17 years in the healthcare industry, her passion lies in not just offering in-home care, but in uplifting the lives of clients and employees alike. Her leadership philosophy centers on empathy and positive reinforcement, and she remains committed to innovating and elevating the standards of care, with the wellbeing of clients and employees at the heart of everything she does.

Hair thinning in your 40s and 50s is not "just aging" — and it's definitely not something you have to quietly tolerate.

In this episode, I sit down with my hairstylist of 20+ years and co-owner of Copacetic Beauty Lounge, Missy Browning, and her longtime client and now friend, Dr. Jen, a family practice doctor. Between the salon chair and the exam room, they see this every single day. Literally both of them told me women come in asking about hair loss every day.

We're breaking down what's actually happening to your hair during perimenopause, menopause, high stress, medication changes, and GLP-1 weight loss drugs and what you can do about it before it gets worse.

• Missy's 30-second read and how she spots hair loss the moment a client sits in her chair, and what brittle texture and break lines actually reveal
• Why stylists are often the first line of defense for women who are too embarrassed to bring up hair loss with anyone else
• Dr. Jen's personal hair loss story what triggered it, and how she went from panic and trial-and-error to an actual plan
• The medical side: protein, nutrient deficiencies, medication side effects, and how perimenopause and menopause factor in
• The role of GLP-1 weight loss drugs in hair shedding
• Salon-side fixes that work fast like blunt cuts, the right products, and when it's time to consider a topper or wig
• When it's time to bring the conversation to your primary care doctor

If you've been staring at your part in the mirror, panic-buying products online, or wondering if anyone else is dealing with this, this conversation is for you. No shame, just the truth, and a real path forward.

Missy Browning is a hairstylist and co-owner of Copacetic Beauty, where she's worked with clients navigating hair loss for years including offering a dedicated hair loss service.

Dr. Jen is a family practice doctor who brings both professional expertise and personal experience to the conversation on hair loss and its underlying causes.

Have you ever wondered if it's too late to start over? In this episode of Grownish Women, Holly sits down with Hollie Geitner, APR, a communications strategist with nearly 30 years of experience, to talk about her midlife career change at fifty. After leading communications through utility crises, shaping messaging for regional economic development, and counseling executives across healthcare, energy, manufacturing, and the nonprofit sector, Hollie walked away from her corporate title to start her own firm, Anchored Voice Consulting.

This is a conversation about corporate burnout, career reinvention, and what it actually feels like to lose the "corporate shield" of a title after two decades. Hollie shares why she believes reputation and network outlast any title, how she learned to trust the timing of her own life, and what she wishes someone had taught her about boundaries earlier in her career.

If you're a woman in the messy middle of a career pivot, questioning whether it's too late to bet on yourself, or just quietly exhausted in a job that no longer fits, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The moment staying in corporate America felt riskier than leaving it
• What it's like to lose your professional identity after 25 years in one field
• Why reputation and network outlast any job title
• Trusting the timing of your life, even when it doesn't make sense on paper
• Boundaries, burnout, and building something that's actually yours
• Advice for women in their 20s and 30s navigating the early years of their careers

About Hollie Geitner:
Hollie Geitner, APR, is the founder of Anchored Voice Consulting, LLC, helping organizations and leaders find their voice and tell stories that actually land. Learn more about her work at anchoredvoice.com.

Season 2 Premiere: The Messy Middle Just Got Messier

Welcome back, y'all, it's been a hot minute! I'm easing back in with a full life update, because so much has shifted in just a month. My mom moved out, and it cracked open a revelation about triangulation I didn't even have a name for until now. My daughter came back home after the roommate thing didn't work out, so we're not quite empty-nesting after all. And I launched a business, Spoken Over Her, iincluding the wild post-it-note moment in my car that led to a whole Bible journal app I never saw coming.

I'm getting honest about the wins too: my marriage is solid, I've healed so much with my stepdaughter, I'm loving being a grandma, and at 52 I'm finally learning what boundaries actually feel like. But I'm also sitting in the messy middle of things like I still haven't worked out (SOS, send help), still wrestling with not being the breadwinner anymore, still figuring out what my day-to-day even looks like now.

And I'm giving you a sneak peek at everything coming this season: career pivoting after 40, hair loss in perimenopause, getting an ADHD diagnosis later in life, why our sleep falls apart, triangulation, and parenting the parent, plus a solo episode on my birthday.

Grab your coffee (or your post-it notes) and get comfy. This one's a lot, in the best way.

We made it to the end of Season 1, and Holly is wrapping it all up solo and she's got feelings about it.

In this season finale, Holly reflects on every episode from the past season, from the unexpected grief of sending a kid to college, to the soul sisters who made her rethink friendship, to the conversations about midlife style, skin care, sex after 40, and blending families that nobody else seems to be having out loud. She also gets real about her own confessions including being judgy about Botox (she's sorry), and being genuinely nervous about the sex therapist episode (she was wrong about that too).

Holly also shares what's coming in Season 2, why she believes this podcast is actually her version of mission work, and why she's unapologetic about talking about taboo topics as a Christian woman.

In this episode:

• A look back at every Season 1 guest and why each conversation mattered
• Holly's personal confessions from the season
• Why she's convinced normalizing the hard stuff disarms the enemy (yes, really)
• What's coming in Season 2 including hair thinning, cannabis moms, parenting your parent, and what she knows at 53
• A big thank you to everyone who listened, shared, and reached out

Grownish Woman returns August 7th. Until then savor July, hit Holly up on Threads or Instagram, and please, please leave a review. 🙏