Topic: GUARD YOUR HEART

Guest: MERCY AJEH

In 2022, I finally got hold of 2 things I had been waiting for, for a long time but they didn't come with the happiness I envisaged.

I mean, I thought I'd have all the butterflies in my stomach, melody in my heart, and my season of unending laughter would start but instead, I felt overwhelmed and my heart ached in the midst of seeming answer to long-time prayers.

It painted me as ungrateful, filled me with dread for my person, made me question my understanding of happiness, and covered me with guilt and shame for myself.

What went wrong? You might ask

Aren't we supposed to be happy with answered prayers? I had those questions as well but I'll give you an answer shortly,

I learned a lot from this experience. I had been hoarding my happiness, trying it to an accomplishment I was looking forward to, so when the accomplishment came, it looked bleak because happiness is not something you put on the line as a reward to drive you to get another thing. You reward yourself with gifts for a job well done which is perfectly okay but you do not reward yourself with happiness because happiness is a state you're meant to constantly live in, it is meant to be a part of you and shouldn't be limited to just when things are rosy.

So, I lived in gloom waiting for something to happen before I pick up happiness again but because feelings aren't clothes we can put on and take off at will, (even though sometimes we can), I had to wait to unlearn gloom and appreciate the good that had come to me.

It was hard, it wasn't easy, the weight of gloom is weighty, scary, depressing, it leaves you teary and begging because you're scared of never being happy again. You are wondering if it'll ever be happy with you because if all you thought would make you happy, didn't, then what is your happiness fate in life?

If I have the chance to relive 2022, I would start from 1st January to be in charge of my mood, feelings and emotions regardless of the glaring truth of my situation. I'll choose to be positive, alive, and happy. I'll choose to live through it all so that I don't go back to zero point finding myself when I should be enjoying my breakthrough.

So, my advice to you is that tough times don't last, like they'll always say, seasons would pass but as much as possible, guard yourself, guard your heart. You do not want to lose yourself before your breakthrough, else of what use is the breakthrough?

Live through each season so that you can enjoy the proceeds when the season ends. Do not wait, do not wait, because, at the end of waiting, you would struggle to find you, you would struggle to exude happiness, and you would struggle to be joyful. If you cannot be joyful now, you won't be joyful when the breakthrough comes but if you can take it one day at a time encouraging yourself to be happy when the breakthrough comes, you would not be learning to be happy afresh, you would just be happy