Last week’s post was all about questions. I want to begin this week’s post with a question. What are you doing to make sure you live your life as a single person the way you want to live it? Or, to put it another way, what guardrails do you have in place to protect yourself from oncoming traffic and keep yourself from going off a cliff?

Beliefs, Morals, and Goals

I am also going to start by making an assumption: I assume you have a set of beliefs which lead you to uphold certain morals and strive towards certain goals. Now, I don’t know exactly what your beliefs, morals, and goals are, but I know you do have them. We all do.

Goal: Sexual Purity

Also, I am going to further assume that, since you read this blog, your beliefs, morals, and goals are in many ways similar to mine. You are probably a Christian and your beliefs lead you to a morality that says sex is for married people. Therefore, your goal is to remain pure and abstain from sex until you get married.

That is a noble goal, but it is a lot easier said than done. So, if you have made that your goal, how do you get there?

Willpower is not enough. If you are serious about sexual purity you will need to have some guardrails in place. Some of these may seem like overkill, but it is better to err on the side of caution and have guardrails that may seem a little overprotective than guardrails that do not offer enough protection.

Guardrail: NOT Your Place or Mine

One guardrail I did not have in place when I was single the first time that I made sure to have in place my second go-round was to never be alone with someone I was interested in at my place or theirs.

As a younger single I made that mistake and I vowed to not make that same mistake again. After my divorce, I made a rule for myself that I would not be alone with a woman at my place or theirs, especially if I found her attractive. That rule served me well.

We are by nature sexual creatures. If we allow ourselves to be alone with someone we find attractive, at our place or theirs, it is way too easy to start taking things further and further.

If you are serious about sexual purity, why put yourself in that position? Being alone with no accountability will, more likely than not, lead to you compromising your beliefs.

Guardrail: Accountability

Ah, accountability, that is another good guardrail to have in place. Give a few carefully selected people who know you well permission to check up on you. Let them know where you are going and with whom. Let them ask you tough questions. And, let them check up on you, even in the middle of a date. Let them get all up in your business.

Guardrail: Let’s NOT Get Physical

Remember, your guardrails are yours to create. You know your strengths and weaknesses. But, you do have blind spots though. Err on the side of caution.

I am not saying that you have to live your life like a monk or some puritan zealot straight out of the seventeenth century, but I would say that, if staying pure is your goal, your dating should look a lot different from what is accepted as normal today.

Nowhere is this more so than when it comes to how much physical interaction is appropriate.