When I was honest with myself, I knew I had some serious trust issues with God.

What happened when I did the wrong thing and got lost out in the wilderness? Was God just waiting to punish me?

What I learned was that God's heart is always for me. Even before I acknowledge that I do bad things or ask for forgiveness! It is who he is.

What I gained at this guidepost was the courage to trust his heart, and it was one of the bravest things I have ever done. I also found three new sacred utterances that I now call over my life:

• "Thank you, God, for loving me with all your heart."
• "I will wrestle with the mess, but fight for joy."
• "God, help me to have the courage to trust your heart, and live with expectation that you are for me."

Episode 6/20