Planty is back and we go all moody as we take you through the 2006 sort of goth classic The Covenant starring a load of high cheekboned lads of indeterminate faces in a film that's a bit like The Craft if you remove everything that is good and replace it with old tiramisu.

You'll find out about imaginary spiders, the coolest mum in the world, CROTCH ROCKETS, the best chores for a growing boy and if the mayor finally got the upgrade.