In this episode of GuyShrink, host Bill Roman sits down with friend and automotive industry professional Dennis Landis to explore what's so critical about critical thinking — and why most of us aren't actually doing it. Dennis shares how 20 years of solving complex manufacturing problems taught him that we waste enormous time and money attacking the wrong problems, driven by emotion, bias, and a rush to check the box. Drawing on the work of behavioral intelligence expert Chase Hughes, they unpack three powerful ideas: that humans are rationalizing creatures (not rational ones), that whoever controls attention controls meaning, and that self-mastery is a prerequisite for clear thinking. Dennis walks through real-world examples from the shop floor — including a tooling cost problem that took three years to solve because the problem statement itself was wrong — and shares practical techniques like replacing "why" with "how," deliberately proving yourself wrong, and inverting problems by asking "if I wanted this to happen on purpose, how would I do it?" Bill and Dennis also discuss the importance of face-to-face interaction, reading nonverbal cues, surrendering ego, embracing discomfort, and surrounding yourself with people who think differently than you do. Whether you're leading a team, navigating a relationship, or just trying to make better decisions, this conversation offers a grounded, no-nonsense look at what it takes to truly think well.

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What does a wrestling mat have to teach us about how to live? More than you might think.

In this episode, Bill sits down with Nick B., a high school wrestling coach and teacher from Monroe, Michigan, who's spent seven years building not just a competitive program — but a culture of character. With 28 athletes on his roster and a coaching philosophy built around core values and pillars like honor, accountability, gratitude, and "iron sharpens iron," Nick is in the business of making better people, not just better wrestlers.

Nick and Bill dig into what it really means to compete — and why wrestling, as a combat sport where no one is coming to save you, is one of the purest metaphors for life. They talk about the discipline of habits, the identity shift behind James Clear's Atomic Habits, the danger of multitasking (and why deep focus wins), and why changing "I have to" to "I get to" can flip your entire experience of hard things.

Nick also gets honest about failure — his own jujitsu losses, running a surprise half-marathon with a wrestler at midnight, and what it's like to put yourself back in the arena as a coach so you never forget what your athletes feel.

Plus: dating without expectations, the power of morning anchors, and a banner on the wall that says everything — Nobody Cares. Work Harder.

Check out Nick's YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@coacheby

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In this episode of The Guy Shrink Podcast, host Bill Roman interviews 26-year-old Devin Shaw, owner of Soul Patch, a thriving greenhouse and plant farm on his grandparents' former property in Swanton, Ohio. Devin shares how he traded a potential career in classical violin for horticulture after high school, earning a two-year degree in greenhouse management at Ohio State's Agricultural Technical Institute. Right after graduation in 2019, he built his first greenhouse on the family land, driven by a deep connection to his late grandparents and a desire to work with his hands instead of punching a clock. What began as a small hobby selling succulents at the Toledo Farmers Market has grown into a full-season operation with four greenhouses, thousands of mums, and a wide variety of flowers and container plants. Devin explains that the work is both physically demanding and creatively satisfying—he starts most plants from tiny cuttings shipped from around the world, roots them under careful misting, and spends long hours in 100-degree greenhouses while listening to Jimmy Buffett.

Devin is candid about what keeps him up at night: disappointing a customer, financial pressures during the off-season, and the trial-and-error reality of growing and selling new varieties. He credits his persistence to the freedom of self-employment, a desire to honor his grandparents' legacy, and the simple joy of creating beauty that lights up customers' faces. Discipline shows up in tight financial management, daily 10–12-hour labor, meticulous record-keeping, and learning from failures (unsold plants often end up on the compost pile). When asked what advice he'd give a young man who wants to follow the same path, Devin's answer is blunt: "Go work in a greenhouse for one full season first—see if you can handle the heat, the sweat, and the daily demands." The conversation circles back to the podcast's core theme: becoming a good man through clarity, agency, and integrity—qualities Devin embodies by turning dirt, family roots, and personal passion into a meaningful life and livelihood.

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In this episode of Guy Shrink, host Bill welcomes guest David Bench to reflect on a remarkable adventure from nearly 20 years ago. As college seniors in 2006-2007, David and his lifelong friend Andrew embarked on a 15-month road trip across the U.S., interviewing 29 legendary college basketball coaches, including Rick Pitino, Thad Matta, Coach K, Rick Barnes, John Beilein, and the iconic John Wooden (at age 96). What began as a spontaneous project evolved into the book Destination Basketball, which captures not just basketball strategies but also profound insights into leadership, character, and personal growth.

The conversation highlights timeless lessons from these coaching greats: prioritizing character over talent in recruiting, investing deeply in players as people, the value of being coachable, and turning young athletes into good men. Standout moments include Coach K's generosity, Rick Barnes crediting volunteering for his big break, and Wooden's heartfelt sportsmanship pledge and life creed. Ultimately, David emphasizes how the experience reinforced the power of relationships, friendships, and intentional growth—proving that the real game is about becoming better men, on and off the court.

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Ever fantasized about getting even? You're not alone — and it turns out revenge isn't just satisfying… It's literally addictive.

Clinical psychologists Bill Roman & Dan Schaefer dive deep into:

• Why revenge triggers the same dopamine rush as cocaine
• How harboring resentment is a "behavioral addiction" (new brain science!)
• The dark reason Hollywood revenge movies (John Wick, Kill Bill, Gladiator) make billions
• Why "venting" your anger actually makes it worse
• The one thing that finally breaks the cycle: forgiveness (and it's harder than it sounds)

If you've ever replayed "that moment" in your head, chopped wood while imagining someone's face, or cheered when the bad guy finally gets it — this episode is for you.

Listen now wherever you get podcasts: search "GuyShrink"

🎧 Apple | Spotify | YouTube #Guyshrink #Revenge #Psychology #Dopamine #Forgiveness #MentalHealthForMen

On the latest episode of the Guy Shrink Podcast, host Bill Roman welcomes seasoned therapist Jan Meyer to explore the fundamental differences between men and women in relationships. With over 50 years of friendship and professional expertise, Jan shares insights from her practice and personal life, highlighting how men often focus on solutions and efficiency, while women prioritize emotional connection and relational understanding. She discusses how men tend to let go of issues quickly, whereas women may dwell on them, leading to communication gaps—like when a husband forgets a morning disagreement by evening, leaving his partner still processing. Jan emphasizes the importance of recognizing these differences, noting that stereotypes hold true about 80% of the time, and encourages couples to study these distinctions to improve mutual understanding.

Jan delves into practical strategies for bridging these gaps, such as women clearly stating whether they need a listener or a problem-solver, and men learning to validate feelings rather than jumping to fix issues. She introduces the concept of men having "drawers" in their brains, handling one issue at a time, while women's thoughts are interconnected, often leading to misunderstandings. Using analogies like men as "hunters" and women as "shoppers," Jan illustrates how men seek direct solutions, while women explore options relationally. The episode wraps with a call to honor these innate differences, with Jan's elevator pitch urging couples to understand that neither partner intends to create conflict—it's simply a matter of wiring.

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In this engaging episode of Guy Shrink, host Bill Rothman sits down with Zak Vassar, CEO of the Toledo Symphony Orchestra, to explore why men should embrace the symphony as a powerful antidote to the chaos of modern life. Vassar shares his passion for classical music, emphasizing its ability to cut through the noise of "doomscrolling" and digital distractions, offering a visceral and authentic experience that fosters emotional depth and presence. From the transformative power of live performances to their role in enhancing leadership skills, this episode highlights how symphonic music can inspire men to feel deeply, think differently, and reconnect with what truly matters.

Vassar recommends three must-hear works—Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, Shostakovich's Fifth Symphony, and Tchaikovsky's Sixth Symphony—for their profound narratives of resilience, defiance, and vulnerability. These pieces, he argues, resonate with the male psyche, addressing struggles like anxiety, professional pressures, and personal identity. By attending a symphony, men can escape the urgency of daily life, tap into a primal connection, and walk away sharper and more grounded. Tune in to discover how the symphony can be a game-changer for mental clarity and emotional strength.

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In this episode of GuyShrink, host Bill Roman and guests Tim Lusch, Chris Niebaur, and Jordan Valdiviez delve into epistemology—the study of how we know what we know—and why men should critically examine their thinking processes. Drawing from his background in neuroscience, Chris explains how the brain often confabulates explanations for actions, as seen in split-brain studies, and how many thoughts aren't truly our own, urging awareness to avoid detachment from reality. Tim emphasizes staying grounded in truth to extract meaning from life and avoid self-deception, while Jordan highlights the shift from automatic, culturally influenced thinking to deliberate modes fostered by mentors, community, and institutions (though critiquing their current failures). The discussion critiques wokeism as a power-serving ideology, praises Peter Boghossian's street epistemology for challenging beliefs, and explores truth as objective rather than subjective, warning against conflating feelings with facts.

The conversation also touches on practical ways to improve thinking, such as reading widely (and multiple books simultaneously), writing to clarify ideas, and engaging in Socratic dialogue. They stress the dangers of unchecked ideologies, cancel culture in academia, and the value of virtues like courage and wisdom for pursuing truth.

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In this episode of Guy Shrink, host Bill Roman discusses retirement's challenges with guest Joe Gerhardinger, a retired math and astronomy teacher from an all-girls Catholic school in Toledo, Ohio. After 25+ fulfilling years, including teaching his own daughters, Joe chose to "graduate" alongside his youngest child, recognizing he'd peaked and sought new adventures. He faces the "double whammy" of retiring amid becoming an empty nester, which leads to sleepless nights filled with questions about purpose, potential, and whether he's squandering opportunities. Joe tried handyman work, school scheduling gigs, and subbing—but realized teaching was behind him, emphasizing self-reflection and avoiding job-defined identity.

Drawing from astronomy's "averted vision," Joe advises patience in seeking meaning without chasing "passion" or constant rapture; instead, aim for rapport with the world and a sense of responsibility. References to Viktor Frankl, Stephen Covey, and John Updike enrich the talk on redefining fulfillment. Perfect for those navigating career shifts or empty nests—listen for wisdom on embracing the journey.

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In this episode of GuyShrink, host Bill Roman reconnects with Jordan Keefe, an entrepreneur and coach who shares insights from his nomadic RV lifestyle and his work helping men overcome pornography addiction through his program, "Take a Break from Porn." Jordan discusses the challenge of letting go of the need to control unpredictable outcomes in life, drawing parallels to the entrepreneurial experience. It introduces his approach to addressing pornography use as a choice rather than an uncontrollable addiction, rooted in managing anxiety or boredom.

Jordan outlines his coaching strategies, emphasizing mindful breathing to reduce reactivity, tracking urges to identify patterns, and providing a safe space for emotional expression to alleviate underlying pressures. He advocates for embracing boredom and building mental resilience, illustrated by an exercise where clients lie down in a grocery store aisle to confront discomfort. Critiquing reliance on external tools like porn blockers, Jordan encourages internal emotional work and invites listeners to explore resources at takeabreakfromporn.com to start their journey toward change.

Learn more about Jordan Keefe at his website: https://takeabreakfromporn.org/

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