Did you know that some people consider chess a sport? What’s fucking up with those nerds? Everyone knows that real sports cause massive physical injury. What’s the worst that chess can do? Defeat Communism?

…Thank you

There’s nothing more depressing than a bland porn parody name. “Kevin Can Fuck Himself”? “Kevin Fucked Himself”! “The Walking Dead”? “The Walking Head”! And “The Boys” would just be “The Bois!” So what were trying to say is … step up your fucking game Hollywood. We’re drowning out here.

…Thank you

And now, a newly discovered page from Charles Dickens’ diary.

“Dear Diary, So like, I just finished this story called “The Prince and the Pauper” and like it’s total amaze-balls. It’s about this prince and this pauper, but like, I don’t wanna spoil anything for you diary. And you remember that brand I told you about, Barbie? Yeah, they’re gonna make like 3 movies out of it. It’s gonna be lit! Anyways, I’m gonna write a mystery book next. Hope I don’t die! #PACE

…Thank you

…Thank you

You know, this film reminds me very much of the Jules Verne classic “Around the World in 80 Days” … God I wish I read that book instead of watching this movie.

…Thank you.

As a creative writing exercise, the GAD team took a poetry class. The following is the only evidence to survive.

“SKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“UHGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

…Thank you

And now the opening argument transcript from the case of “Bob Marley v. The District of Home Town U.S.A.”

(cont.)

The Defense rises to give opening arguments.

THE DEFENSE: Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury I am not here to dissuade you from the facts of this case. My client did indeed shoot Sheriff John Brown, however, the facts will show that my client, Bob Marley, did this in self defense and unlike what the prosecutions would lead you to believe, he did not in fact shoot the deputy. And any further accusations therein are in fact irrelevant to this case. Your Honor, I would like to call my first witness.

…Thank you

Ni ĉi tie ĉe Uloj kaj Pupoj zorgas profunde pri internaciaj aferoj. Do ni decidis, ke la priskribo de ĉi tiu epizodo estos en la lingvo Esperanto. Ĉi tiu stulta, fika lingvo estis desegnita por esti sekundara internacia lingvo kaj ni ĉiuj povas vidi kiel tio rezultis. Podkasto pri Barbie-filmoj devas instrui vin pri ĉi tiu merdo. Sufiĉe embarasa, ĉu?

…Dakon

So there’s a joke here… about a certain kind of neckwear…and the kind of material it’s made from. This joke is not suitable for young children. So we’ve decided to be the bigger people and not make a “pearl necklace” joke

…Thank you.

A core staple of William Shakespeare’s plays are a cacophony of miscommunications and intertwined personal relationships that have often been though to be easily resolved by simple communication. In the following essay, I shall prove that, without a shadow of a doubt, all issue within all Shakespeare’s plays would be solved by a Hamlet centered harem.

…Thank you