I can scarcely believe that this is our last episode in 2023, but here we are! Jiayang and Jacob conduct reviews of Chelsea and Man City respectively, with both landing on a hopeful outlook for the future (though Chelsea might be going through yet another false dawn, whereas City’s hope seems a lot more grounded). We also put Newcastle under strict scrutiny—has the Saudi money finally met its match with the mighty Wood? (There’s an environmentalism joke in there somewhere.) In our Dilemma Deliberations, we discuss four midfield options to consider buying for when Salah and Son temporarily depart our teams. Jacob, it seems, has trouble separating Garnacho the player from Garnacho the person. Finally, in what is perhaps our longest captaincy segment EVER, we break down four candidates, all of whom are quite viable—but ultimately land on one man, and one man only. In classic Fortress fashion, this episode is interspersed with a couple of fun tidbits. For one, we discover that Manchester United and Chelsea transcend categorization, while also exemplifying the cyclical nature of time. For another, we ponder how much we should factor in the past when making our decisions in the present, for the future—through the lens of none other than Richarlison de Andrade.

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