This episode is all about narratives. After all, it's the last gameweek of the season—what better time to indulge ourselves? We deliberated over the best one-week punts, ranging from a Colombian troll to an English cult hero. The captaincy should probably go to Erling, but Jiayang is tempted by more alluring options (he is rather bullish about another 9-0 as a nice send-off for Southampton into the Championship). Finally, we round off the episode with a brief discussion on rank and the value of risk-taking with one week left—the highs can be so high, but the lows can be low beyond the limits of our fathomability.

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