Rejected!

How the Grinch Stole Christmas is the best Dr. Seuss movie ever. In the 2000 version with Jim Carey, the Grinch lives in exile and on a snow-covered mountain. Every day he wallows in his hatred for the people of Whoville. How did this situation arise? Rejection. 

The Grinch was different from the other kids so they were cruel to him. He packed his bags and went into exile. The story is about how a little girl named Cindy Lou softened his heart with love and brought him back to Whoville. 

Love boils down to something very simple: acceptance. Love is acceptance. It feels wonderful to be accepted. Hate is rejection. It is the deepest pain we can feel.

Looking back, I see that most of my life has been spent in search of acceptance. It’s why it was so important to be good at basketball. The day the coach benched me wasn’t just the end of my basketball career. It was my expulsion from Whoville. I turned to music and found acceptance as a french horn player instead. If that hadn’t worked I would have tried something else. I might have wound up behind the school with the stoners. One way or another, I had to find acceptance. 

Acceptance is why falling in love is so intoxicating. We are loved by an angel! Falling into the arms of God couldn’t be better. It’s also why breaking up is so devastating. Our language reveals our pain. We got “dumped.” We feel like garbage. 

We’ll do anything to be accepted. It’s why Facebook “likes” mean so much to us. It’s why public speaking is one our greatest fears. If you stand up in front of a crowd and say the wrong thing, they might reject you. The thought of all that rejection is more terrifying than falling off a cliff.

Religious communities, which are always talking about love, can be the worst. When you get rejected by a religious community you aren’t just cut off from human relationships. You are expelled from the love of God too.

If you feel like a reject, it might encourage you to know that you are in good company. Jesus was “despised and rejected by men” (Isaiah 53:3). God has a special place in his heart for rejects. The problem is that most of us do not feel we have a place in God’s heart. We think we have to earn God’s acceptance just everyone else’s.

Rejected People Reject People

When we are rejected we reject back. It’s as natural as swatting a mosquito. Our world is filled with rejection. God can break the cycles of rejection but only if we believe in a God of acceptance. Sadly, this is not the God most of us have been told about. The story goes something like this:

God created a perfect world in which we were accepted and loved. We got things off track by rejecting God. God’s reaction was to strike back by cursing us and casting us into hell. The good news is that there is a way to be accepted again. We can transfer God’s rejection from ourselves to Jesus. This isn’t much of a story. Its God isn’t very loving, even by human standards. 

I have three kids. Let’s say they each do something awful. I love them but I am a stickler for justice. I resolve my internal conflict by locking child #1 and child #2 in a torture chamber. This satisfies my need for justice. I express my love for child #3 by torturing and killing my wife, venting my wrath on her. When my anger has run its course, I am cooled down enough to love my remaining child.  

This is not glorious. This is horrific. It gets even worse. Imagine that I defended myself by pointing out that as their father I have the right to do whatever I please with my kids. Then, when you protested, I justified myself by saying you just don’t understand. My ways are higher than yours.

This is the story that sent me on a quest for a new religion. I eventually wound up back at the feet of Jesus, but with a very different understanding of God.