Bipolar Inquiry

Hacking mania's vision casting into embodied muscle memory


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I've done a lot of talking and a lot of what I'm talking about I would like to summarize by saying it's kind of like hacking mania so I've talked about mania as a vision casting state I've talked about embodying one's mania I've talked about harvesting one's mania for one's manic traits and it's not about the manic state as much as it is embodying one's manic traits and I talked about the idea of harvesting practicing and embodying so harvesting one's mania practicing the traits and then getting to a point where one is embodying one's manic self and daily life not as in the manic state but actually in daily life and it's embedded in the body in the neurophysiology in the neural networks and in the gestures in the muscle memory so one has become that which one was in the state mania and that's one of the things that makes mania so desirable is one really loves how how one is and so my thought is that we can still be that way in daily life it just might take a little bit of practice and even though it takes practice in daily life it doesn't necessarily have to take practice because one can become manic or in the manic state with a snap of a finger and my thought is by practicing embodying the version of oneself that one is in mania when that extra energy comes it will actually be able to be more efficient and be able to be enacted relationally and this is another thing that I thought of was that this extra energy that we that takes over us in a way a lot of times it is directed into creativity playfulness learning and just a bunch of the different manic traits and a lot of those traits and a lot of the creativity is actually something we want to share or we want to make it relational and a lot of times if we are out in public we get into conversations with strangers that we otherwise wouldn't get into and so in that way we're actually making it relational by relating with others with that manic energy and they might not even be aware that we're in the state of mania because they've never seen us before that's one of the benefits of strangers if I was in a manic state and acting out of character around my family they would start giving me the funny eyes like what is wrong with you and I would probably sense that and it would be sort of one of those buzzkill experiences and that energy gets dissipated instead of that energy getting shared relationally with a stranger who might actually find the interaction quite enjoyable with the family interaction if I'm out of my character of my normal ego self that energy is going to be dissipated in being defensive or getting into some kind of something over something and it'll be kind of a waste and it'll also bring me down and probably agitate me because I'm not being allowed to be that self that I'm wanting to be or that energy is wanting me to be that's the thing too that extra energy comes in and animates us in different ways it through through gesture through so many different things I've experienced in the manic state being a lot stronger a lot more flexible and this is just overnight there's no reason why I should have way more strength there should be no reason why I can dance sufficiently better even though i am not really dancer um and I'm stronger and if I run through a bush of prickles I don't get a scratch on me somehow so there's a lot of different things and another thing is my family they comment that I look taller which is interesting they always say oh you look taller so there's those are just some physical things that that happened but really it's that energy I think that energy totally releases all the muscle tensions that are the ego memory complexes stored in the muscles and the adapt tations we make over time and gravity that energy comes in and takes a lot of that away so I do think there are a lot of clues in the manic state and if one can survive it I've gone into a state of psychosis after and also states a depression which may have been caused more so the depression might have been caused more so by the medication i was given it's hard to say but it's a difficult state to survive and it's important to keep yourself safe number one i don't i'm not talking about being in a manic state and/or actually trying this one animatic state I'm actually saying if you had a mania say a couple years ago when you think back on it what things might you want to incorporate into your life not by any means saying go into a manic state because the state is actually dangerous especially in today's times where it's misunderstood if we had a an understanding of it that it's like a visionary state a vision casting state a hyper learning state then maybe we would have supports in place for people that go into these states to make the best of it in the safest way possible because most times a person in that most beautiful wonderful part of the mania that person is not interacting with any kind of system of err it's not until later when things start to get more messy that happens so what I'm saying is we forget to look at the state before the mess and if we ever do oftentimes I feel like it's like to think oh I hope that happens again or I want that back my point is to say we can be that way without having to go back to that state which which is actually dangerous and I feel like by practicing embodying that we can move towards that and we can actually make the state less dangerous because we will be it's almost like strength training for when that energy comes in we will already have practice being those ways because that energy comes in and wants us to be a certain way it makes us a certain way well what if we move towards practicing being that way then does the energy have to come in and make us that way maybe the energy will come in like a slow tide as opposed to a tsunami because we you know the energy is animating us in ways that we've never been before and so if we can move towards being those ways then if the energy comes back will we be in those ways so it's not that dissonant it's more resonant with our psycho biophysical structure and I have no idea if that's true and that's something I have to put in practice in my life and part of the reason I'm making these videos is to track my progress sort of I don't think I'm really tracking my progress as much as progressing on the ways that I choose to think about learning from these extreme states of consciousness and my thought too is that maybe one day it won't really be an extreme state of consciousness maybe I don't need to go to extreme states of consciousness to be that way because maybe I'm even in an extreme state of consciousness but I don't notice because all that extra energy has somewhere to go it's made relational and that's another thing as I feel this energy comes into our life to make us more relational we become more social for a good period of the experience and those social interactions change the fabric of reality ever so slightly and the way the energy animates us is to be more altruistic to be more giving to be more generous to be more perceptive to be more insightful to be more thoughtful to see things more clearly to act on things right away as opposed to thinking oh I'll get to that later and I feel that that energy is trying to get us to be more that way and that passes it on to the social fabric through the mirror neuron system so these spontaneous social behaviors can become a positive social contagion and actually change the way we relate to each other even if there aren't a ton of people doing it it still has a small effect and I think that energy comes in and that energy is dissipated through these interactions and then we eventually sort of come back down into our material ego self so what I'm saying is that this energy is actually meant to be used relationally it's meant to animate us in ways that make us relate in ways that are actually going to change the fabric of society so the more we can practice being those ways and change the fabric of society maybe the more likely that energy will come back to us in an bodied way because in my mind this energy is trying to orient us towards world centricity towards seeing that we're all connected and we're all one and there's a lot of talk about we're all connected and we're all one but who else has had the experience in an altered state of consciousness in say an organic mania where you literally are perceiving the world as it is all one it's all one process it's all one big thing and and we're all a part of it there's no real separation so that energy comes in and we actually see and experience the world that way and we interact with the world in the world as the world with that perspective so what I'm saying is the energy makes us worldcentric it makes us relate in these different ways that are worldcentric ways and the worldcentric ways of being and seeing and in that way the energy is actually not for you and it's not for me it's for the world and it's the energy of the world and it's the energy of world centricity and it's trying to get us to see the world this way because this is the way the world actually is and we can't see it that way because of our ego thought programs and so the energy comes in and sort of wipes away those ego thought programs temporarily so we can actually see and we see like holy crap this is beautiful this is amazing this is so magical it's wonderful and it's difficult to stay there if the energy comes in we're being worldcentric in an egocentric world so the energy eventually in my thought in my lined gets dissipated and when it does we come back from that world of perceiving holistically worldcentric Lee and as we come back to this other way of being we do we're reacquainted with our ego and and it's a very confusing process it's almost like oftentimes it feels like dying because it's almost like dying to the real world that we saw and coming back to this world of the egos contrivances and how we've been brought up to see the world which isn't the true way of seeing and and then I've mentioned before I think that that other way of the true way of seeing or the way we see in that so called manic state is like we are our light body version of ourselves which is like our basic information not written over by any of the ego programs and it's always with us it's always part of us it's like our light body self and the energy of mania comes in and sort of blasts away all the programs that are stored in our muscle memory and our neural musculature in our posture and our in all the ways we've tensed up and and the ways we've we've practiced being as our ego self that's all wiped away and we feel free and we feel like we can see and we feel so many things and to me that's the trajectory of our growth if it was never written over by any kind of programs or experiences or or situations or circumstances or or traumas so that version is always there and that's why we can click into it if that energy comes in and wipes away the ego programming stuff and it's like an activation energy and things that we can the ego there's people that go into that through drinking too many red bull it's people that go into it through not sleeping and in a way that scrambles the ego it loosens its hold because a person doesn't have that much sleep or some people fast and don't need any food that can also scramble the ego and in my mind that energy comes up to help scramble the ego the ego thoughts if we have our favorite you know hundred thoughts that we think on repeat that energy comes in and all of a sudden gives us new thoughts and associations and not all of them are correct and we sort of have a sense like that's true is that false and it's almost like being a child again where when we learn we'd probably have no idea like what's right and wrong we just we almost have to poke it something to know how it works yet as the adult re learning things we don't know we don't have an adult to like say hey it is is this how gravity works is this how my legs work there's a lot of different things to learn and not all of them are right and the thing is that the ego is the mechanism by which we determine what's correct and it's not correct so that being blasted apart at least temporarily we don't have that thing saying oh yeah that's right no that's wrong and but I feel like this is an important part of the process it's almost like a second brain growth and I don't know if I talked about that but to me if there's all these new thoughts and new associate that may or may not be correct there has to be an equivalent congruent change in the brain neural plastically so the ego structures have kind of blown apart and that gives rise to the all these other thoughts and insights and ideas and possibilities to come into conscious awareness and there are so many possibilities and in that way it's like the brain grows a ton and to me at there at some point there's like a pruning process and unfortunately I think a lot of it a lot of the learning is pruned away by the mental health system saying oh don't worry about all that stuff that was all just a bunch of delusion that was all just a bunch of mental illness well I took notes of all the stuff that I thought and a lot of it doesn't make sense but a lot of it does and it seems like over time what I right makes more and more sense so maybe I'm pruning my own thoughts now but I have a sense that people go into that state and it's a hyper learning state it's like this quantum holographic learning state and I just made up that term I just like the word quantum and I just like the word holographic and I just like how you know the quantum stage is like there's superpositions of possibilities that the wave function has to be collapsed to to make the possible actual and I feel like there's all these possibilities floating around in that brain state and it's almost up to us to decide what to collapse so maybe we have two thoughts and they're both classified as delusion but if we decide that we're going to sort of pursue one of them as a possibility and collapse it into actuality somehow well then it's actually we're moving towards creating that as a possible reality and we can make that relational so what I'm saying is we can start to collapse our own wave functions instead of being told what to know and we can change the knowledge of reality by harvesting this learning state instead of just forgetting about it and and the point with it is too is that it's a learning state it's not facts it's not science it's just learning kids never learned based on facts based on being two years old and having facts and learning it's a different mode of learning and I think it's actually quite equivalent to how the child's brain learns and that's why it's a lot of it is nonsensical but that is also necessary if it was all just sensical than it it would just be in alignment with with reality and and there would be no individuality and i think i think that the state is also trying to restore us to our original state and our original learning state of hyper learning i don't know if you've had the experience of just being able to like look at something and understand how it works that's another thing about this hyper learning state of mania is that I feel the eyes and the brain look at things and recognize patterns so it's not about recognizing a thing it's about recognizing congruent patterns and other processes and then extrapolating it immediately so in that way by looking at a spider's web we might understand something else I can't think of anything right now but or by in that state we might look at a spider's web and be like oh I get it that makes total sense and it would make sense that kids brains learn up it like that because otherwise it was just a linear process it would take a really long time to learn all that they learn so all this stuff I'm talking about is like pseudo theoretical bullcrap okay it's not really real i'm talking about how my brain seems to work in the manic state and i'm explaining it based on my own experience and I'm thinking back to it and harvesting it I'm doing what I said in these videos would be cool to do which is to harvest one's mania so I'm harvesting I am like the queen of the crop maker of mania harvesting and by speaking about it in these videos and maybe releasing it one day no idea I would like to make these ideas relational I'm putting my electrons on YouTube I'm putting my patterns I'm putting my morphogenetic field on YouTube and I'm hoping that other people who have experienced these dates might begin to see some of the value and and the value is really in how we are going to change the collective fabric of reality to be more conducive to these ways of being so then they when the energy comes that's that's how reality is already designed so we can work to align reality with how we are in those states because we remember how we are were in those states what was that energy trying to create how are we trying to be what were we trying to do well we can still do it after the fact and we don't have to be in that state to work towards that what else is there to do so one day I hope to either stop making videos or make videos out in the collective reality and maybe I will have some of my modalities like my magical backpack which is a backpack full of crap to create cognitive dissonance heart resonance pattern interrupts kindness giving sharing surprises and be some sort of kindness or wellness ambassador of sorts self-employed employed by the universe that's sort of how we feel like being in the manic state we think oh I'm here to really help the world well let's just go do it don't have to feel all that manic energy and if we go out and do it maybe we'll actually get the feeling of some of that energy because giving sharing being altruistic are all things that were wired to receive the reward of oxytocin versus our little dopamine pleasure traps that we go about collecting in our daily reality like watching TV and eating crap well we can go create oxytocin which feels so much better so these are like selfish good deeds and so maybe i'll be taking my my camera and stuff out to reality because i actually did want to capture stuff when i was in that state and i did capture some of it actually i mostly audio recording like back five and a half years ago i did make one video which i called the fly whisperer and that video messed me up because I was like wow that was a divine experience and it sort of defied the laws of nature because I was hanging out with flies and going like like this right at them and they wouldn't fly away I could have probably touched them and they wouldn't have flown away and that was really weird it was like they weren't scared of me they knew I wasn't gonna squash them or something um so that was my one video but with technology i could probably make more now it won't be so slow to upload stuff and the thing is to was hum well to go with that is random acts of kindness or intentional acts of kindness and i have this thing that the ego perception of reality is blindness and then the other energy is kindness from blindness to kindness and going from being a survivor to a thriver i don't want to just be a survivor and then look back at the system and say I'm mad at you I want to be like a thriver and then look back and say I'm it's it's sad system that you didn't know what was really going on and I forgive you and I'm going to be moving on and having something I also think that we really need to kill them with kindness we need to just be really really kind and turn the system on its head because all of a sudden they don't have all these ill people they have all these kind people being kind even though they were treated poorly and and I really feel we can go from from dullness to wellness I don't know if we're all ill but a lot of us are made dull by you know what and we can go from dullness to wellness and we really can kill them with kindness we can make the system less needed just by being more kind and maybe one day it won't be really that needed at all society is not designed for us to be so sensitive and that's the thing when all that extra energy comes in were sensitive to so many different things we're sensitive to sound we're sensitive to other people's feelings we recognize patterns as I mentioned so in that way we look at somebody we can see their pattern and we can see exactly what they're feeling and experiencing because we can see their pattern we can read their body language we can read their gestures we could read their posture and we can read their words we can read their tone of voice we can read so much more so in that way we actually empathize that much more it's like the mirror neuron system is turned on like crazy or it could just be that the ego actually dulls out the mirror neuron system so when it's scrambled by this energy we can actually read other people's energy and it's also it's a state of oneness where we don't really see another person as another person we actually see them as ourselves or feel the oneness so in that way anything that we look at we're kind of that and we're experiencing that and we're understanding that in that total perception so it's almost like anything we look at we understand we're empathetic we are that as well as ourselves and the line becomes very blurry and because of that it's difficult to sense all of that all day long and at some point if the energies if we're really sensitive it's hard to say what is me and what is somebody else and then it can get really confused and and also since there's a lot of bad stuff going on out there seeing too much bad stuff can actually really take us down because we want to do something about it and we can't so that's another thing is if we do something about some of the bad stuff maybe we won't feel so so helpless and that's another reason why we feel very altruistic is that we feel that pain we feel that pain where we feel that joy so it's difficult to not try to do something about that because we feel that and everybody I feel feels that to some level but it's really it's blocked out and it's probably necessary and the more we can do to to help the world the more we won't have to feel those things when people go into those sensitive States hopefully they'll run into more butterflies and roses and not people laying on the street like garbage society is also not designed for us to be that happy and to be that and to have that much joy in living so the state of extra energy this mania as it's called and psychosis when a person is treated for it its treated as a personal problem when really that extra energy is worldcentric its relational it's trying to connect somebody with one's altruism so it's kind of a slap in the face when all of a sudden it's turned into a personal problem and a person is labeled and then said something is wrong with you and now you have this big problem to deal with so big that you're never going to get reacquainted with your altruism which was the purpose of it in the first place part of the purpose enough when I say things that sound reductionist I'm not trying to reduce it to that one thing because it's not I know it's not that simple and um usually when I have a thought or an idea about something I probably have like 10 or 20 thoughts about it it's just I can't say that every single time I mentioned one thing and that's the other thing I was going to say is that even making these videos part of it is to to practice saying this stuff because I can't remember anything I can't even remember if i made a document about what i was writing about and I'll just find it like oh oh I kinda remember that so have very little memory and that way I find it difficult to to like have a book or something and try to make this linear logical book and I probably said this before too and I vaguely remember but I feel like my memory is going my memory is going more and more and and and i think i have to be okay with that because the thing is that this other state this learning state it's an always learning state and when a person is always learning and not memorizing then there's less and less memory it's like that learning can be prompted to come out again um actually noticed i was looking on my blog and a few of these things that i'm talking about i was talking about a year ago and not really in the words that I'm saying but it was like the seed of of the idea i guess and i had no idea because when i just started writing stuff in the last month maybe whoa this is like all new so that's the thing it always seems new every time that I say it and I have stuff written down but I get this it's like a weird feeling to know that I have a no memory in my mind it's not that people have mental illnesses as that people don't have egos it's an illusion so a person has like this ego self this consistent self and the energy comes up and breaks up this consistent self and then a person is said to be ill when they're reorienting and reorganizing their thought structures and their their ego and they're coming back to their ego self it's like you're ill but in my mind a person isn't their ego there's something beyond that and they got in touch with that beyond and it's going to reorganize things not that in my mind the egos in the way of a person being in their natural state and so a person goes into their natural state and then is brought out of it through being intervene with or the buzz kills the energy drainers interacting with family who have their own past image projections of how person should be so many different things a person's so-called crisis or mania as actually to change the collective fabric towards what actually is which is the oneness which is the connection which is seeing things holistically which is acting altruistically not because one things oh I need to act altruistically because of how one sees it is because it is one it is connected so the concept of altruism actually disappears is not oh I'm going to be altruistic it's just how a person is and so and that goes with a lot of the different traits and gestures and different ways that people are animated as being in the state of mania a person's not thinking oh I'm being so find oh I'm being so generous it's only in looking back after the fact as our ego self in the world of concepts and thoughts that we can think oh this is how I was I was kind one isn't thinking that way in that state it's a state beyond concepts it's a state of action not a state of reaction but action seeing and acting so the apparent breaking down is actually the transformation from egocentric consciousness which is more like unconsciousness to worldcentric consciousness that energy is for the world that's another reason why oftentimes people lose it is because because they take it personally they take it as a personal pleasure and they turn it into pleasure when really it's to be shared we're all one consciousness and that's the thing with the whole mental illness thing is that we really need to question the prior assumptions that we are these individual egos we are really one consciousness and I believe quantum physics and metaphysics and spirituality talks about that at infinitum and my experience and how I attempt to point to it is quite congruent with the few findings or the some of the findings that I'm actually aware of and I'm not going to go out there and research all the science to prove my my ideas and insights because that would just be boring I'd rather just make up so we hear these things like treat your neighbor as yourself treat others as you want to be treated and there's a lot of wisdom in those statements and I've talked about before how I came to the insight that we're killing each other with our thoughts feelings and actions and gestures we can actually kill people with our thoughts and with our actions so for example say I'm driving along and I have a thought oh I should check my phone and I look down and I check it and I run over somebody my thought just killed that person I wasn't paying attention and that is an example how a thought leads to an action which kills somebody um but the same thing could happen with just thinking something it creates a ripple or the thought changes the expression on your face and people see that and they react to it subtly and so just collectively all this vibration of stuff is it adds up and that's another way or that's another reason I think that this energy comes in and takes people over and animates them in maniac type fashion to try and shake that up it's almost like a person is being made into an agent of cognitive dissonance and pattern into rap to try to interrupt the pattern of people and their their robotic ways of being it's almost I talked about before the universe it's a preventative mechanism it's an evolutionary force of the universe to prevent us from all being programmed into these robotic drones which we kind of already are and then there is people who become even more like robotic drones and become professionals who decide to treat the people who emerge with this energy who are actually designed by the universe with this energy to change things up a little bit and people aren't being supported in there shoe mania their shamanism and their mania the view of the East and the West or the indigenous and I don't know all the ins and outs of it but they also talked about alchemical stuff or alchemy I think it's alche-mania man there's an alche-mania process happening here alchemy through mania and again it's not the state is look back think of your traits and be that way in daily life the world needs us to be that way it's giving us a vision of how we need to be as human beings and it's how we are naturally when all the ego stuff gets erased so by being that way we can actually erase some of the programming and that's the slow version the fast version is just twiddling one's thumbs and hoping that maniac comes back but then we might not live through it because it's a very dangerous state and in talking about safety one of the things I carry with me i carry a zap strap one of those little things you used to fasten cords together because if i ever get freaked out somewhere I can just fasten myself and ride it out and just and then call for help with my phone and that makes me feel safe knowing I can just fasten my body and let my consciousness go wherever the heck it wants to go if it wants to go back two thousand years it can go right ahead if I can wants to tell me about my past lives it can go right ahead if it wants to tell me about impending doom it can go right ahead and the trouble is with those things is I don't feel like it's in the past I feel like it's happening right now and so my body might respond as if it's happening right now and that's why by fastening myself to something like like a tree or something I don't know small tree then i will feel fine and i've never had to do this out in public but it would be better than running off a cliff now imagine if what i am saying has any truth and what I'm trying to say too is that it has truth whether you can feel it or not whether you're in the manic state and trying to operate based on these new principles of how the world works and energy and information flow or if you're just going about your ego consciousness day you're still being affected by this underlying actuality that we don't perceive on a regular basis now imagine you feel it but you don't feel it imagining that in any given second you might start feeling it that way like whatever you look at you're going to feel it exactly as it is good painful and you'll be very confused because this isn't your normal mode of feeling things you might start getting anxious or or run or or feel afraid or you know be scared by someone's thoughts or intentions or they're the look on their face how would you change your behavior if you knew that love and kindness for the remedy and it's not about one's own little problems I'm looking for solutions to those problems it's that we are the solution to the world's problems not I need a solution for my little problem and this energy this altered state is trying to get us to act it animates us and it makes us act in ways that are out of character of our personal ego but perhaps in character of the character of the universe that's how the universe wants us to be as human beings as how the universe needs us to be as human beings to me this is the energy of the spontaneous social behaviors that could save the planet that Buckminster Fuller talked about the ego creates in action thought creates in action a person in a manic state finds it difficult to walk by homeless person where somebody and their ego consciousness is just thinking and they just walk by and they don't even think twice so it actually blocks seeing it blocks action it's interesting how we're we're trained and we're educated we're programmed to not take action and to just delay action and go about our little habits and routines and in that way everybody's problems are kind of like a collective delay of action action wasn't taken right in the first moment of the thing arising because somebody was busy doing something else and that collective inaction almost causes all the need for these professionals which is like someone training to become some professional might take eight years of training that's a lot of inaction to acquire a big lump of knowledge versus us being more generalists and in helping each other in the moment

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Bipolar InquiryBy Alethia