In this episode of Halva for the Heart, I talk through a question I’m asked all the time: What exactly does a death doula do?

I share how death work isn’t only for people at the very end of life, it’s for anyone navigating mortality, grief, fear, or the desire to meet death with more intention and clarity. I walk through the many roles a death doula can hold: educator, advocate, companion, household support, vigil-sitter, home funeral guide, advance directive facilitator, and someone who brings ancestral, community-rooted care back to the bedside. I also speak about the long history of this work, how it existed for millennia before the medical system claimed the dying process, and why reclaiming these roles matters.

Throughout the conversation, I keep returning to one truth: death doulas are an ancient role with a modern title.

In this episode, I cover:

• What a death doula is and the many roles we hold
• Why death care is for everyone, not just the actively dying
• The ancient history of community death care
• How death doulas can advocate for your wishes at the end of life
• Options like home funerals, body care, and spending time with loved ones after death

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Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
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🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

In this episode of Halva for the Heart, I reflect on Bloody Aban - the brutal massacre that killed over 1500 Iranian protestors in November of 2019 - and what it means to grieve this atrocity from diaspora six years later. I revisit the fear and confusion of those five days in 2019 when Iran’s internet was shut down, hundreds were killed, and many of us outside the country were feeling utterly alone in our grief. I also share the stories of five martyrs in particular, honoring their lives and the unbearable cost of state violence. 

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• what made Bloody Aban feel so isolating for Iranians in diaspora
• how Western media silence and orientalism shaped whose suffering was acknowledged and whose wasn’t
• why the grief of Bloody Aban hardened in our bodies differently than other collective traumas
• the privilege (and responsibility) of diaspora safety, and what it makes possible in our healing
• why some grief (like that of Bloody Aban) may take years before we feel ready to face it

🌹 This episode is an invitation to turn toward this grief gently with spaciousness, honesty, and compassion for where we each are in our process.

Links:
📘 Abangan Guidebook for Ancestral Reclamation
🗺️ Abdorrahman Boroumand Center for Human Rights in Iran’s Map of Protestor Suppression
❤️‍🩹 Join us in Dard-e Del

The five martyrs honored in this episode:
🥀 Mohammad Dastankhah: Born in 2004, in Shiraz
🥀 Mina Sheikhi: Born in Kurdistan, lived in Tehran
🥀 Mohsen Mohammadpur: Born in 2002, in Khuzestan
🥀 Puya Bakhtiari: Born in 1992, in Karaj
🥀 Farzad Ansarifar: Born in 1992, in Khuzestan 

If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...

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Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
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🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

In this solo episode of Halva for the Heart, I reflect on the ancient connection between fiber arts and grief care. From slow stitching and mending to knitting and quilting, I explore how our hands hold ancestral wisdom, how the rhythmic, tactile act of making with thread can help us process what our minds cannot.

This episode weaves together:

• reflections on fiber arts as embodied grief care, from quilting to visible mending
• the story of Elizabeth Roseberry Mitchell’s Graveyard Quilt and other memorial textiles
• how knitting, crochet, and yarn wrapping can become rituals of remembrance and release
• my personal story about returning to knitting in grief, and the healing power of communal making

✨ Join the next Fibers of Grief gathering or download the free Slow Stitching with Grief guidebook


Links:

🧶 Fibers of Grief: online gathering every first Thursday of the month
📘 Free Guidebook: Slow Stitching with Grief
🧵 Melissa Word's Grief Threads
🪦 Elizabeth Roseberry Mitchell’s Graveyard Quilt
🏳️‍🌈 AIDS Memorial Quilt
🕊️ Stitch Their Names Together: honoring Palestinians killed in Gaza
🪡 Craftivist Collective

If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...

• Leave me a 90 second voice note
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Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
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🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

In this heartfelt conversation, I sit down with Yarrow Magdalena, a maker, writer, and grief companion living on the east coast of Scotland. Yarrow shares their journey into death work, from training as a death doula in 2019 to navigating profound personal loss after the unexpected passing of their mother in July 2024.

Together, we share what it means to tend to grief through handmade practices using thread, cloth, and ritual, and how creativity can become a sacred space for healing.

In this episode, we explore:

• How Yarrow came to death work before experiencing major personal loss, and how their practice has deepened since their mother’s passing
• The similarities and differences between various types of shock and grief — from a life-changing accident to sudden loss
• The powerful practice of creating memorial quilts using loved ones’ textiles and clothing
• Why hand-stitching and textile work can be such healing practices during grief
• The importance of naming our identities, and how different aspects of who we are carry their own grief
• Practical ways to be an activist for folks who are disabled, living remotely, or have limited capacity
• Simple rituals that help, like creating a physical grief space in your home or working with tarot

Yarrow also shares touching memories of their mother Marina, the gift of their last goodbye, and how they balance running two podcasts (Grief Glimmers and The Kind Business Podcast) while honoring their own grief journey.

Be sure to head over to Grief Glimmers to listen to my episode on Yarrow's podcast.

Find Yarrow’s work at glimmerportal.com and pinkwellstudio.com.

If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...

• Leave me a 90 second voice note
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Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
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🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

In this episode of Halva for the Heart, I invite you into the ancient Iranian holiday of Mehregan - a celebration of light, justice, truth, and friendship.

I share the mythic story of Kaveh the Blacksmith and Fereydoon’s uprising against the tyrant Zahhak as told in the Shahnameh, and reflect on what these ancestral teachings offer us today: how we resist tyranny, anchor ourselves in community, and transform our grief into courage.

I also speak about the upcoming Palestine Grief Circle on October 10th, a virtual space I’m co-facilitating with my friend Shivani (listen to my interview with them in episode 8). This donation-based offering is a way to honor our shared grief and fight for collective liberation, and to remember Mithra as the honored god of Mehregan and the guardian of truth and justice, and allow him to guide us in standing for what is sacred.
👉 Join the Palestine Grief Circle

Throughout the episode, I share ways you can celebrate Mehregan from wherever you are: creating a sofreh or altar, honoring the changing light, and tending the threads that bind justice, grief, and love.

In this episode, I reflect on:

• The mythology of Mithra, Kaveh, Fereydoon, and Zahhak
• How Mehregan invites us to act for justice and truth
• The connection between grief work and liberation
• Simple seasonal and altar practices for Mehregan

If you'd like to go deeper with the themes of Mehregan, I invite you to download the Mehregan Guidebook or join us in Dard-e Del.
👉 Note: The Mehregan Guidebook is free for Dard-e Del members

If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...

• Leave me a 90 second voice note
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Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
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🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

Three years have passed since the Woman Life Freedom uprising erupted in Iran with the death of Jina (Mahsa) Amini. As an Iranian in diaspora, this movement changed me—it filled me with so much hope, and it also left me with heavy grief that I still carry today.

In my work as a death doula, I guide people at the end of their lives through a process called a Life Review: reflecting on unfinished business, regrets, accomplishments, and hopes for what comes next. In this episode, I bring that same practice to a cultural scale, sitting with the Woman Life Freedom movement as if she were a dying person—asking  her the questions I would ask someone nearing the end of their life and imagining how she might respond.

This episode is both reflection and an invitation to honor the grief and legacy of Woman Life Freedom, and to consider how we carry her memory forward in Iran, in diaspora, and in ongoing movements for liberation around the world.

If you're Iranian in diaspora and looking for community, joi us in Dard-e Del ❤️‍🩹

 📸 Cover image by Laura Acquaviva

If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...

• Leave me a 90 second voice note
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Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
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🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

In this episode of Halva for the Heart, I share some tender reflections about home, homeland, and the grief of not quite belonging anywhere. After nearly ten years in Korea, I’ve realized I will always be a guest here—and that realization has stirred up so many questions for me: If not here, then where? What does it mean to feel at home in my body? What does it mean to be a settler on Turtle Island? And can I still call Iran my homeland if I’ve never truly known its land?

Throught the episode, I read from Stephen Jenkinson’s Die Wise and talk about how his words opened up new ways of thinking about home, land, and obligation. I also share stories from grief circles and community conversations, where we explore how food, seeds, and even longing itself can be ways of being in relationship with the land we come from.

If you’ve ever wrestled with homesickness, with the ache of displacement, or with the question of how to pass something on to the next generation—you’re not alone. This episode is me sitting with all of that, out loud.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Interview with Sama of Reyhan Herb Farm
• Interview with Mina Sharif and her book Your War, Our Lives
• Dard-e Del: a online support space for Iranians in Diaspora ❤️‍🩹
• Die Wise by Stephen Jenkinson
• Nine Keys from Narinder Bazen

If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...

• Leave me a 90 second voice note
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Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
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🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

In this episode of Halva for the Heart, we explore a radically different approach to grief—one that invites your inner child to lead the way. I share how my own grief has shown up in playful ways—like dancing with the memory of my mother—and offer an invitation for you to imagine your grief as a childhood friend asking you out on a “play date.”

If you’ve ever longed for a lighter, more curious way to be in relationship with loss, this episode offers a gentle doorway into play, wonder, and childlike connection with your grief.

Upcoming events
In Seoul: Poetic Play Grief Ritual with Mallory Dowd on September 7
Register at https://ritual.hafezdeathcare.com

Online: Fibers of Grief every first Thursday of the month
Register at https://fibers.hafezdeathcare.com 

If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...

• Leave me a 90 second voice note
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Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
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🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

On this episode of Halva for the Heart, I am thrilled to be interviewing Afghan-Canadian author Mina Sharif.

Mina spent 15 years living and working in Kabul, Afghanistan. She’s the author of Your War, Our Lives, a short story collection that brings heart, humor, and nuance to everyday life in Afghanistan during the international occupation. Through her work, she shares the quieter, more human sides of conflict, and what it means to belong to more than one place at once. 

In this conversation, Mina and I speak about her new book (comes out August 1, 2025!), the diasporic experience, and how fully embody your heritage identity, even if others say you "don't count".

You can purchase Your War, Our Lives ar Mina's website: www.minasharif.com
And follow Mina on Instagram

If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...

• Leave me a 90 second voice note
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Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
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🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

On this episode of Halva for the Heart, I am joined by my friend and fellow death doula Shivani Narang. Shivani is a death worker, a grief worker, and a postpartum, abortion, and post-abortion doula who is deeply connected to their ancestors. Their work is an act of devotion.

In this conversation, Shivani and I speak about surrendering to the wisdom of our ancestors and allowing them to guide our death work. We also discuss magic of grandmthers and great-grandmothers, and how we stay connected to our ancestral homelands while having grown up in the US.

You can connect with Shivani Narang on their website and on Instagram @deathworkwithshiv
Also follow their new podcast series @of.sweetness.and.spirit

If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...

• Leave me a 90 second voice note
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Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
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🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân