In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I discuss one of my favorite topics: handling failure.

A lot of us are scared of failure because we never experienced true failure in our life. The thought of failure alone scares us.

The message I want to share in this episode is how important failure is to achieving success. That may sound counterintuitive, but failure is absolutely necessary when going for big goals. Fear of failure stops so many of us from going after our dreams before we even take the first step.

In order to become really good at handling failure, we first need to rethink what “failure” means to us. It’s usually thought of as being unable to achieve a desired result. I want to challenge you today to redefine that.

Today, I define failure as experiencing a different outcome to what you expected. When failure is defined in such black-and-white terms as mentioned above, we put an unfair amount of pressure on ourselves and diminish the lessons that we can take away from those experiences and grow from them.

Instead, I implore you to consider the grey areas that exist when we talk about success and failure. Take the shame and guilt that we tend to immediately feel as a result of failure and take those feelings out of the equation. Look at the situation objectively and tell yourself that this outcome is simply different from the one you originally desired.

Don’t take failure personally. The endeavor might have been a failure, but it doesn’t make you a failure. Refuse to tell yourself the lie your failures define you as a person.

Another important lesson I learned is that a big failure isn’t necessarily a dead-end in your life. I had “failed” in corporate America, in my sleep consulting business, and in my network marketing career, in that I never achieved the goals I set for myself during those three periods in my life. But, if it wasn’t for those “failures”, I never would have been led to finally discover my purpose and live my dream as a life and mindset coach.

If I hadn’t “failed” at all of those things, I wouldn’t be where I am today. And just as we are all inspired by stories of success that were preceded by stories of failure after failure, we, too, can find success by embracing setbacks and plowing forward anyway. Remember: Your biggest failure is going to be someone else’s inspiration.

Give yourself permission to fail, because only by failing will you get to the thing that you will be excellent at.

Nobody becomes excellent on day one. You have to give yourself multiple chances to fail to become excellent. In fact, look for opportunities where you will inevitably experience failure. Get out of your comfort zone and take more risks. Actively learn to fail, and watch as your whole person grows stronger and wiser with each new failure.

On a practical level, start setting “good”, “better”, and “best” goals instead of a single ideal such as your target revenue or weight goal for the month. Give yourself a range of goals to achieve so that, no matter where you land, you’ll feel proud of yourself.

Finally, be proud of your attempts. A lot of people don’t even have the courage to take risks, knowing they might meet failure on the other side. The faster you fail, the quicker you achieve.

Never forget that failure is an amazing teacher more than success ever is.

Vishen Lakhiani once said that “your soul isn’t here to achieve. Your soul is here to grow.” When we attach meaning to something meaningless, we end up pursuing some imaginary goal that we feel is going to fulfill us when it won’t.

“The true reality,” says Vishen, “is that success and failure are illusions.”

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

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