With the resumption of games, Mike and Jared break down the new protocols like manufactured crowd noise, increased substitutions and water breaks.  Mike complains about Tottenham Hotspur's failure to hold a lead over Man U, Jared gives an update on promotion scenarios from the Championship and much, much more!

After a three-month hiatus, English Premier League football is BACK, and with it comes a new episode of "Hands Off Those Balls!"  Mike and Jared review the protocols the League is mandating to mitigate health risks to the players, discuss the effect the suspension of play has had on player injuries and make some BOLD predictions about Champions League berths, relegation and promotion.

With games suspended due to the COVID-19 outbreak, Mike and Jared discuss how the EPL may decided to handle promotion and relegation if no more games are played this season.  They also take a moment to recognize the selflessness of various folks in the sports world who are donating their time and resources to help those less fortunate during these difficult days.  Note: No new episodes are planned until at least the week of April 5.

Jared puts Mike in the hot seat with a two-part quiz on EPL history and team nicknames which serves as an endurance test for the "wrong buzzer."  They also discuss Liverpool returning to form, Chelsea's win against a lackluster Everton and the Manchester Derby.

You know the guys get stuff wrong, and they know it too. This week, Mike and Jared celebrate their ignorance with the first airing of a new segment, “Now What Did We F%©# Up??!!” in which they remember some of their least forgivable mistakes on the show – you may notice Mike still can’t get the facts right in the 93:20 story. Later, they discuss a certain MONUMENTAL and SHOCKING upset from Matchday 28.

Derbies (pronounced DAR-bies)!!! Last week’s Chelsea-Spurs match gives Mike and Jared a chance to talk about all manner of Premier League rivalries and thereby bone up on English geography. Because the guys are distracted watching the Liverpool-West Ham match while they record this episode, it has all the professional production qualities you’ve come to expect . . . . 😉

Something smells rotten in Manchester as UEFA levies a 2-year ban on Man City from Champions League play, so Mike and Jared provide their unique analysis of the situation. In addition, they also discuss some select games from the conclusion of Matchday 26.

Indirect kicks, direct kicks, free kicks, penalty kicks. The guys get their kicks discussing how each is played and why each is awarded.  Also on the menu is talk of the past weekend's slate of Matchday 26 games.

Penalties are “explained” by the guys, Mike giddily recounts the Tottenham Hotspur win over Manchester City and Jared discusses just how dominant Liverpool have been this year.

New fans of English Premier League soccer Mike and Jared talk about the offsides rule and the Matchday 24 games, with the occasional interruption from Mike’s dog barking.