“I want Him to have all the pleasure. I, little nothing, long to take away all the suffering from His heart.”

“If you could know how happy I am, as Jesus’ little spouse. No one, not even those who are enjoying some happiness which in The world seems perfect, could I envy, because I am enjoying my complete happiness, even when I suffer something for my beloved spouse.”     

On the occasion of making her first profession of vows in 1931, Saint Teresa of Calcutta said these words to a friend. As she got permission for her final vows, she sent home (Skopje) a message on February 8, 1937-

“Before crosses used to frighten me- I used to get goose bumps at the thought of suffering- but now I embrace suffering even before it actually comes, and like this Jesus and I live in love.    ….. …..  Do not think that my spiritual life is strewn with roses- that is the flower which I hardly ever find on my way. Quite the contrary, I have more often as my companion ‘darkness’. And when the night becomes very thick and it seems to me as if i will end up in hell – then I simply offer myself to Jesus. If He wants me to go there- I am ready – but only the condition that it really makes Him happy. I need much grace, much of Christ’s strength to persevere in trust, in that blind love which leads only to Jesus Crucified. But I am happy- happier than ever. And I would not wish at any price to give up my sufferings.    
But do not, however, think that I am only suffering. Ah no- I am laughing more than I am suffering – so that some have concluded that I am Jesus’ spoiled bride, who lives with Jesus in Nazareth- far away from Calvary… Pray, pray much for me- I really need His love.   ……. I desire to become humble and humiliations are my sweetest sweets.”   

“He has been always so infinitely good towards me – as if He wanted to insure the possession of my heart for Himself …. Now I really rejoice when something does not go as I wish – because I see that He wants our trust.

I want to be all for my Jesus- truly and not only by name and dress. Many times this goes upside down – so my most reverend “I” gets the most important place. Always the same proud Gonda. Only one thing is different- my love for Jesus- I would give everything, even life for Him. It sounds nice but in reality it is not so easy. And just that I want, that it not be easy. ….. Everything is for Jesus; so like that everything is beautiful, even though it is difficult.”

– (November 25, 1937)

Indeed, the most practical endowment of any religion is the grace to make us cheerfully accept ‘not so good’ situations in life. I feel I can relate Mother Teresa’s Heavenly feelings to the following devotional plea-

कहीं खोटा न रह जाऊं तपा कर देखते रहना,

कभी विश्वास में मेरे शिथिलता आ नहीं जाए,

जगत की वासनाओं में न लिप्त हो जाए मन मेरा,

मेरे इन आंसुओं की लड़ी में प्रतिबिंब है तेरा,

तेरे नाम पर ही मैं ज़हर को अमृत समझता हूं,

-Shri Vinod Ji Agarwal