Jalwa-e-Mashuq

The following experiences, privately shared by Saint Teresa of Calcutta, very well resonate with the spirit of the audio clip- 

“I am just full – I did not know that love could make one suffer so much. – That was suffering of loss – this is of longing – of pain human but caused by the Divine.”   – (November 6, 1958)

“Since God wants me to abstain from the joy of the riches of spiritual life – … I just have the joy of having nothing- not even the reality of the Presence of God. – No prayer, no love, no faith – nothing but continual pain of longing for God.” – (February 17, 1962)

“Pray for me – for the life within me is harder to live. To be in love and yet not to love. To live by faith and yet not to believe. To spend myself and yet be in total darkness.”  –  (May 17, 1964)

Source – Come be My Light, Ch. 9 and Ch. 11

Describing the ‘joy of having nothing’ in a Sufi way-

जिन्हें तुमसे मोहब्बत हो गई है,

तड़पना उनकी फितरत हो गई।

जब से तेरा गम दिल में बस गया है,

गम ए दौरां से फुर्सत हो गई है।।

क्यों

कभी अरश पर कभी फर्श पर

कभी तेरे दर कभी दरबदर

ऐ गम ए आशिकी तेरा शुक्रिया

न जाने कैसे कैसे दौर से

मैं गुज़र गया।

Sometimes swaying with ecstasy of skies

And at times brutally falling onto floors

Those unforgettable moments of being lifted in Your arms

And then the unending span of lone wanderings

I feel indebted to these stinging pangs of Love

For having me unknowingly traversed my many misfortunes..

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“I have reached the point of not being able to suffer any more, because all suffering is sweet to me.”

“How I thirst for Heaven- that blessed habitation where our love for Jesus will have no limit! But to get there we must suffer… we must weep… Well, I wish to suffer all that shall please my Beloved, I wish to let Him do just as He wills with His ‘little ball’.”

“I thank Thee, O my God, for all the graces Thou hast bestowed on me, and particularly for making me pass through the crucible of suffering…” 

These profound thoughts were expressed by Saint Therese of Lisieux, as contained in ‘Story of a soul’. She uttered her last words, looking at the Crucifix-

“OH!…I LOVE HIM!…MY GOD, I…LOVE…THEE!!!” God, I love you!”

(Source- www.littleflower.org)

Sufi saints express this mystery of painful yet beautiful love as-

मायूस तो हूं वायदे से तेरे

इसलिए

शब ए गम की तल्खियां कोई मेरे दिल से पूछे

परिणाम

न अलम मेरा अलम है न खुशी मेरी खुशी है,

-Shri Vinod ji Agarwal

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“Everything will happen as was written by the Lord,” replied the prophet. “There are moments when tribulations occur in our lives, and we cannot avoid them. But they are there for some reason.”

“What reason?”

“That is a question we cannot answer before, or even during the trials. Only when we have overcome them do we understand why they were there.” 

-The Fifth Mountain, Paulo Coelho

And then after passing through the trials, a Sufi would sing-

तूं यकीन करे यां न करे तुझे चाह कर मैं संवर गई

तेरे इश्क में वो जुनून है कि मैं सब हदों से गुज़र गई।

तेरे हर कदम पे निसार हैं मेरी चाहतें मेरी उल्फतें

तेरी राह मुझसे जुदा नहीं तूं जिधर चला मैं उधर गई।

तेरी रहमतों की वो बारिशें जो हुई हैं मेरे वजूद पर

इस जिस्म से मेरी रूह तक इक चांदनी सी उतर गई।।

-Unknown

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The painful period of separation is the occasion to relive the beautiful moments of association. In our Braj Literature, this has been explained as the binding force which keeps the lovers ever united despite the visible remoteness in our Braj literature-

वेश पवन धर चुपके से इस तन को छूते वो हैं,

-Shri Vinod ji Agarwal

The feelings of the Gopis (presented in the audio file) are very well corroborated in the private writings of Mother Teresa, compiled in the book ‘Come be my Light’ as –

Gone is the love for anything and anybody- and yet- I long for God. I long to love Him with a deep personal love.- I can’t say I am distracted – my mind and soul are habitually with God. – how this thing must sound foolish to You because of its contradiction. – For my meditation I am using the Passion of Jesus – I am afraid I make no meditation – but only look at Jesus suffer – and keep repeating (to Mother Mary) – “let me share with you His pain!”      – (Chapter 9, endnote 57)

“My soul is just like an ice block – I have nothing to say. – I don’t know what is really happening to me- for even now when I am surrounded with so many nuns & people,  with the things that could preoccupy me completely- Father, mind – my heart – my very thoughts & feelings seem so very far – so far that I don’t know where they are, but on pulling myself up I find they are with God.”

“When outside- in the work – or meeting people – there is presence – of somebody living very close- in very me. – I dont know what this is – but very often, every day – that love in me for God grows more real- I find myself telling Jesus unconsciously most strange tokens of love.”

-(Chapter 10)

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/

O My Beloved God

Scorch my heart by the flame of Your love

One fortunate day we will surely meet

This one hope would carry me on.

I am lost in Your thoughts

And wish that the tears in my eyes

May reflect the image of Yours.

The original lines written by ‘Bindu’-

ए यार मेरे दिल को वो मर्ज़ लगा देना

हो दर्द तेरा जिसमें फिर भी न दवा देना।

इक दिन तो मिलेंगें ही बोलेंगे हंसेगे भी

इस ख्वाब ए तमन्ना से हरगिज़ न जगा देना।

हम तेरे तसव्वुर में बेहोश हैं पागल हैं

दिखला के कभी सूरत तूं होश न ले देना।

मिलने की जो तुझसे लौ लगी दिल में बेहद

मिलके न कहीं उसकी बुनियाद मिटा देना।

ऐ याद ए जुदाई तूं, इन आंखों के पर्दों पर

हर ‘बिंदु’ को दिलबर की तस्वीर बना देना।

Marz- illness

-Shri Vinod ji Agarwal

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/

“Love is like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day, you want more. You’re not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. You think about the person you love for two minutes, and forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he’s not there, you feel like an addict who can’t get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you’re willing to do anything for love.”  – Paul Coelho, By river Piedra I sat down and wept

This is exactly what a Sakhi says to Lord Krishna-

– Shri Vinod ji Agarwal

बड़ी कठिन प्रेम की राह सखी री मैं क्या करूं

पिया करते नहीं निगाह आली री मैं क्या करूं।

जन्म जन्म से चलती आई, नित नित नई नई ठोकर खाई

फिर भी गंध न पी की आई मेरा क्षीण हुआ उत्साह।

नापा जाना सहज गगन का, पी लेना आसान अगन का

बांधा जाना सुगम पवव का लेकिन कठिन पिया की चाह।

पहले मन में प्रीत उगाना आशा जल से उसे बढ़ाना

फिर निज हाथों आग लगा कर कर देना सब स्वाह।

इस पर भी कुछ शोक न होना जागते रहना मर कर सोना

पियु पियु रट कर जीवन खोना करना प्रेम निर्वाह

सखी री मैं क्या करूं आली री मैं क्या करूं।।

– Jigar Muradabadi

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/

“Wait. This was the first lesson I had learned about love. The day drags along, you make thousands of plans, you imagine every possible conversation, you promise to change your behavior in certain ways — and you feel more and more anxious until your loved one arrives. But by then, you don’t know what to say. The hours of waiting have been transformed into tension, the tension has become fear, and the fear makes you embarrassed about showing affection.” 

-By the river Piedra I sat down and wept, Paulo Coelho

Sufi words for the same thought-

“पहले एक लंबा इंतज़ार होता है,

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/wait-n.mp3

– Sh Vinod ji Agarwal

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/

“We have been taught that we must follow certain formulas and rules if we want to find God. We do not recognize that god is wherever we allow Him/Her to enter.” 

― By the River Piedra I sat down and wept, Paulo Coelho

Yet a Sufi laments-

मेरे दिल में मेरा यार है मगर मिलता नहीं

यकीनन उसे भी प्यार है मगर मिलता नहीं।

जाने क्यों ऐसा लगता है

वो पास भी है और पास नहीं,

मिलना तो है इक रोज़ हमें

यह आस भी है और आस नहीं;

हर पल इंतज़ार है मगर मिलता नहीं।

ख्यालों में दिन रात है जो

वो याद भी है और याद नहीं,

रहते हैं उसकी गलियों में

आबाद भी हैं और आबाद नहीं;

हर शय में बेशुमार है मगर मिलता नहीं।

दिल उसको दिया और दर्द लिया

बर्बाद भी हैं और बर्बाद नहीं,

जो ज़ख्म दिए निशानी है उसकी

मन शाद भी है और शाद नहीं;

यह तरीका ए इज़हार है मगर मिलता नहीं।

शिकायत क्या करूं उससे मैं उसकी

यह भी तो मुझे गंवारा नहीं,

जाने वो क्यों समझता नहीं

बिन उसके मेरा गुज़ारा नहीं;

यकीनन वो भी बेकरार है मगर मिलता नहीं।

-Unknown

Why so?

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/yakinan.mp3

-Sh Vinod ji Agarwal

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/

Beloved be near or far, love keeps soaring at par.

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/magar-milta-nahi-n.mp3

-Shri Vinod ji Agarwal.

Likewise, Saint Teresa of Calcutta used to often remind her MC associates about God’s desperation to have them near. An excerpt from one such address, dated March 25, 1993 –

“Jesus wants me to tell you again.. how much love He has for each one of you.. beyond all that you can imagine.. not only He loves you, even more- He longs for you. He misses you when you do not come close. He thirsts for you. He loves you always, even when you do not feel worthy….  “I thirst” is something much deeper than just Jesus saying “I love you.” Until you know deep inside that Jesus thirsts for you you can’t begin to know who He wants to be for you. Or who He wants you to be for Him.. “

Source- Come be My Light, Ch. 3

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/