Jalwa-e-Mashuq

As St. John of the Cross had written: In the evening of life we will be judged by our love St. Therese believed that love was everything. She recognized the centrality of love when she read I Corinthians 13; she wanted to embrace that call.

She translated this desire for love by developing her relationship to Jesus Christ. She gave each day to him as a way of manifesting her love for him. When she discovered that life was not easy in the convent of Lisieux, that some of the nuns were coarse and difficult to live with, she came to the conclusion that the condition would be chronic. It was not going to go away. Therefore she had to decide how she would live within this environment. She discovered her little way: to accept that each one came ultimately from the divine artist and thus each one is loved forever by God. Therefore she would love them as best she could, a kind word, a smile, an assist when she was able. In fact, she learned in the process that there is deep down a union between love of God and love of neighbor. She wrote that the more my life is focused in Jesus Christ, the more I am able to love my Sisters.

St. Therese’s personal experience led her to recognize that God was at the centre of her existence as Love. In view of the immensity of the world and the complexities of life she saw herself as ‘a child,’ ‘a grain of sand,’ ‘little’ but energized by a God who directed her journey in faith.

‘Tout est grace’ she had said, ‘All is grace’.

She lived out this commitment in the midst of ‘a dark tunnel’ during the last year of her life and through her affliction and suffering. The child of her beginning had moved into the adult child of mature discipleship. Both phases were identified in the heart of love.

– Reflections by Rev. John F. Russell, O.Carm

Source-  https://www.littleflower.org/therese/reflections/st-therese-and-love

Shri Vinod ji Agarwal, likewise emphasizes-

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/grace.mp3

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Adorations to God through the face of a beloved.

इबारत रब दी ते सूरत यार दी होवे

सिजदा रब दा ते रस्म प्यार दी होवे।

आशिक दे मज़हब दी की दसिये

ज़िक्र रब दा ते गल यार दी होवे।।

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/telling.mp3

-Shri Vinod Ji Agarwal

Not just Sufi saints, rather every realized soul, belonging to any religion, emphasizes upon the fact that The Supreme being is kind enough to respond to our simplest way of dealing with Him.  Here I quote ‘simple’ words of St. Therese of Lisieux-

“I have not the courage to force myself to seek beautiful prayers in books; not knowing which to choose I act as children do who cannot read; I say quite simply to the good God what I want to tell Him, and He always understands me.”

– Story of A Soul, Chapter X

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/

Starting from last quarter of 1946 to the year 1947,  Saint Teresa of Calcutta kept hearing the voice of Jesus which repeatedly called her to become an Indian. Here is an excerpt from one of her dialogues with Jesus-

“I want Indian nuns victims of my love who would be so united with me as to my love on souls. I want free nuns covered with My poverty of the cross.  .. Wilt thou refuse to do this for Me?”

“My own Jesus- what You ask is beyond me- I can hardly understand half of the things You want- I am unworthy- I am sinful- I am weak. – Go and find a more worthy soul, a more generous one.”   

“You have become my spouse for my love. You have come to India for me…… Are you afraid to take one more step for me- for your spouse? Is your generosity grown cold- Am I a second to you?-…… You are afraid that you will lose your vocation- you will become secular- you will be wanting in perseverance- Nay- your vocation is to love and suffer and save souls and by taking this step you will fulfill my heart’s desire for you.”

“I am so afraid Jesus- I am so terribly afraid- let me not be deceived. I am so afraid. This fear shows how much I love myself. I am so afraid of the suffering that will come.-…..”

“You have always been saying ‘do with me as you wish’. Now I want to act, let me do it- my little spouse, my own little one.. Do not fear. I shall be always with you.

You will suffer and you suffer now – but if you are My own little spouse- spouse of crucified Jesus. You will have to bear these torments in your heart. Let me act- refuse me not. Trust me lovingly- trust me blindly.”

“Jesus, my own Jesus- I am only Thine- I am so stupid – I do not know what to say – but do with me as you wish- as long as you wish.. I love you for not what you give but for what you take Jesus.- why can’t I be a perfect Loreto nun- a real victim of your love here- why can’t I be like everybody else. Look at hundreds of  Loreto nuns who have served you perfectly and are now with you. Why can’t I walk the same path and come to you?”

“The poor I want you to bring to me …. You are I know the most incapable person, weak and sinful but just because you are that O want to use you for my glory! Wilt you refuse?”

(Chapter 5, ‘Come be my Light’ -by Father Brian Kolodiejchuk)

As she could not tolerate saying ‘no’ to her beloved Jesus, she unconditionally followed this call and submitted herself completely to His will. Yet, she had to experience a strange feeling of separation from Him. I feel that this whole sequence picturizes the famous sufi kalam written by a 14th century mystic, Amir Khusro (disciple of Hazrat Nizamuddin Awliyah) –

छाप तिलक सब छीनी रे मो ते नैना मिलाइके

बात अगम कह दीनी रे मो ते नैना मिलाइके।

प्रेम भट्टी का मदवा पिलाइके

मतवाली कर लीनी रे मो ते नैना मिलाइके।

गोरी गोरी बईयाँ, हरी हरी चूड़ियाँ

बईयाँ पकड़ मोरी लीनी रे मो ते नैना मिलाइके।

बलि बलि जाऊं मैं तोरे रंग रजवा

अपनी सी रंग दीनी रे मोसे नैना मिलाइके।

ख़ुसरो निजाम के बलि बलि जाइये

मोहे सुहागन कीनी रे मो ते नैना मिलाइके।।

To which the concluding Shlok of Bhagwad Geeta is also related-

सर्वधर्मान्परित्यज्य मामेकं शरणं व्रज । अहं त्वा सर्वपापेभ्यो मोक्षयिष्यामि मा शुचः ॥

(18/66)

Sh Vinod ji Agarwal

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Saint Teresa of Calcutta wrote this prayer for Jesus Christ-

Dear Jesus, help me to spread Your fragrance everywhere I go. Flood my soul with your spirit and life. Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly that my life may be only a radiance of Yours. Shine through me and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel Your presence in my soul. Let them look up and no longer see, but only Jesus!

Stay with me and then I will begin to shine as You shine to be a light to others. The light, O Jesus, will be all from You; none of it will be mine. It will be You shining on others through me. Let me thus praise You in the way You love best, by shining on those around me. Let me preach You without preaching, not by words but by my example, by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of love my heart bears for You. 

 Amen.

Source –  ‘Come be My Light’ by Farther Brian, End note 87 of Chapter  12

I feel that it is the same sentiment as conveyed in the audio clip for Lord Krishna –

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/fanna-n.mp3

– Shri Vinod ji Agarwal

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/

Jesus is my God.

This was Saint Teresa’s meditation in the hospital in Rome, 1983. Her intimate feelings for Jesus sound much similar to what Swami Mukund Hari ji Maharaj composed for Lord Krishna sometime before 1980-

सौंप दिए कुल जाती धन मान चरण में तेरे,

प्रीति रीति रस भोर कर दिया यह जीवन तेरे अर्पण

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/chaah.mp3

– Shri Vinod Ji Agarwal

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/

“I utter the words of community prayers – and try my utmost to get out of every word the sweetness it has to give.- But my prayer of union is not there any longer. – I no longer pray. – My soul is not one with You – and yet when alone in the streets – I talk to You for hours – of my longing for You. – How intimate are those words – and yet so empty, for they leave me far from You.”

Mother wrote this as a part of her confession in September, 1959 and during the retreat of 1961, she noted-

“Before I could spend hours before Our Lord – loving Him- talking to Him – and now – not even meditation goes properly- nothing but “My God” – even that sometimes does not come. – yet deep down somewhere in my heart that longing for God keeps breaking through that darkness.”

In response, she received a counsel from her director, Father Neuner that

“The sure sign of God’s hidden presence in this darkness is the thirst for God, the craving for at least a ray of His light. No one can long for God unless God is present in his/ her heart. Thus the only response to this trial is the total surrender to God and the acceptance of the darkness in union with Jesus.”

This perspective proved to be of great help to her as she wrote back-

“I can’t express in words – the gratitude I owe you for your kindness to me. – For the first time in these 11 years – I have come to love the darkness. – Today really I felt a deep joy – …… More than ever I surrender myself to Him. – yes – more than ever I will be at His disposal.- I do not believe, Father in that continual digging into one’s spiritual life- by long & frequent visits & talks. The help you have given me- will carry me for a long time.- our spiritual life must remain simple.”

A few months later, she expressed again-

“I am not alone- I have His darkness- I have His pain- I have the terrible longing for God- to love and not to be loved. I know I have Jesus – in that unbroken union- for my mind is fixed on Him and in Him alone, in my will.”

Hence, Father Neuner later remarked-

“I felt she had found her way and did not need my support any longer. So the correspondence came to an end – but the letters I kept as they reflected something of her inner life during these years.”

“Darkness was actually the mysterious link that united her to Jesus. It is the contact of intimate longing for God. Nothing else can fill her mind. Such a longing is possible only through God’s hidden presence. We can not long for something that is not intimately close to us.”    – ‘Mother Teresa’s Charisma’, Review for Religious, 60, no. 5 (2001), Father Neuner S.J

Source- Come be My Light, Ch 10 and Ch 11

The Sufi saints have also spoken about this ‘mysterious link’ –

मोहब्बत में कहां नफा यां नुकसान होता है

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/thirst-light-1.mp3

– Shri Vinod ji Agarwal

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/

“Even if I suffer more than now – I still want to do Your Holy Will.”

The journal entry of February 16, 1949 contained these words of Mother Teresa and she bravely carried on with it throughout her life in the name of her beloved-

“My Love for Jesus keeps growing more simple and more, I think, personal. Like our poor I try to accept my poverty of being small, helpless, incapable of the great love. – …… – I want Him to be at ease with me – not to mind my feelings- as long as He feels alright- not to mind even the darkness that surrounds Him in me – but that in spite of everything Jesus is all to me and that I love no one but only Jesus.” – June 19, 1976.

“I am at His disposal- He can do with me as it pleaseth Him, without even a thought of consulting me. I just want to be His own little one- if He so wants, otherwise I will be happy to be just nothing and He everything.”  – February 17, 1978

If I try to translate her words in Hindi, I can not do anything better than reproducing Pad-Ratnakar (659)-

नहीं चाहती सुख में हिस्सा, नहीं चाहती धन में भाग।

रुचि तुम्हारी मेरी रुचि हो, चाह तुम्हारी मेरी चाह।

– Pujya Shri Hanuman Prasad Poddar

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/hey-n.mp3

– Shri Vinod ji Agarwal

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/

A  rasik from Vrindavan sings it as-

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/tukde-tukde-1.mp3

– Shri Vinod ji Agarwal.

Mother Teresa once suggested to a priest-

“It is not how much we really “have” to give – but how empty we are – so that we can receive Him fully in our life – and let Him live His life in us.

…….

Just keep the joy of Jesus as your strength. – Be happy and at peace. – Accept whatever He gives – and give whatever He takes with a big smile. – You belong to Him – tell Him I am yours and if You cut me to pieces every single piece will be only all yours.”   – (December 13, 1976)

Source- Come be My light, Ch 12

Her words resonate well with –

तेरा प्यार जो मेरे साथ रहे

जन्नत से क्या दोज़ख से क्या,

तेरी याद में कांटें बिछ जो रहे

फूलों से क्या गुलशन से क्या।

कतरा कतरा सब है तेरा

हर सांस अमानत है तेरी,

फिर तूं ही बता ए जाने वफा

हम पेश करें नज़राना क्या।

यह दिल ही गरीबों की दौलत

कर्मों के मारे जो फिरते,

वो दिल ही मैंने तुझको दिया

नाचिज़ों का फिर देना क्या

तेरी गलियों में ही रहना

तेरे दर पे जीना मरना,

अगर इतनी महर जो तेरी रहे

फिर और रहा मुझे मिलना क्या।

तेरा प्यार जो मेरे साथ रहे

जन्नत से क्या दोज़ख से क्या…

Source- unknown

If Your love be with me O Lord

I am ready to face anything.

My every bit belongs to You

My every breath is at Your disposal

So You only tell me My sweetheart

What other gift should I offer to You.

Nazraana- gift

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“True love is surrender. The more we love the more we surrender. For by giving the little we possess, we give all- and that there is no limit to the love that prompts us to give. To give oneself completely to God is to be His victim- the victim of His unwanted love.”

Saint Teresa of Calcutta wrote these lines while drafting the constitution of Missionaries of Charity and she lived up to every word of it, probably even beyond that.

“Often I wonder what does really God get from me in this state- no faith, no love – not even in feelings. The other day – I cant tell you how bad I felt. – There was a moment when I nearly refused to accept.-…- the moment passed- but the darkness is so dark, and the pain is so painful. – … People say they are drawn closer to God- seeing my strong faith- is it not deceiving people? Every time I have wanted to tell the truth- “That I have no faith”- the words just do not come – my mouth remains closed. – And yet I keep smiling at God and all.”     – (September, 1962)

“In my soul- I cant tell you- how dark it is, how painful, how terrible. – my feelings are so treacherous. – I feel like refusing God and yet, the biggest and the hardest to bear- is this terrible longing for God – I just long to speak – and this too He seems to have taken the power from me. – I will not complain. – I accept His Holy will just as it comes to me.”   – (January, 1964)

“The silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and I do not see, listen and do not hear. – The tongue moves but does not speak.- Helpless yet daring. – Pray for me that I let Him have a free hand.”    – (September, 1979)

“I do realize that when I open my mouth to speak to the sisters and to people about God and God’s work, it brings them light, joy and courage. But I get nothing of it. Inside it is all dark and feeling that I am totally cut off from God.”        – (1985)

The sufi’s reaction to this strange attitude of Lord-

साकी ने मोहब्बत का भर जाम जब पिलाया

फिर भी

मोहब्बत का जाम पी कर दिल कर चले हवाले,

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/chaak.mp3

– Shri Vinod ji Agarwal

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/

“Thank God we don’t serve God with our feelings, otherwise I don’t know where I would be.”

Excerpets from some of the letters which Saint Teresa of Calcutta wrote to Father Nuener, SJ –

“The lord ls having His own game- I give what He takes.- He does not seem to want me to have the human consolation I would derive from my talking to you– I am happy with whatever pleases Him best. I accept whatever He gives.- I have nothing to say.”    – (January, 1963)

“The only thing that keeps me on – is the conviction that the work, the sisters, the society- all is His. I claim nothing – …… Pray that He may empty my emptiness.- He still plays His game – and I still keep smiling during His game.”    – (September, 1963)

“As for me – what will I tell you? I have nothing since I have not got Him – whom my heart and soul longs to possess. Aloneness is so great. – From within and from without I find no one to turn to. – He has taken not only spiritual- but even the human help. I can speak to no one and even if I do- nothing enters my soul.- if there is hell- this must be one.  How terrible it is to be without God- no prayer- no faith- no love. …….- And yet, Father- in spite of all these- I want to be faithful to Him- to spend myself for Him, to love Him not for what He gives but for what He takes- to be at His disposal. – I do not ask Him to change His attitude towards me or His plans for me.- I only ask Him to use me.”  – (January, 1965)

“God has its own way in all the things. – Slowly I learn to accept everything just as He gives it.-I still have many, many things to learn-  see what He does.- He pours Himself on the little society- and yet takes every drop of consolation from my very soul – I am glad it is so- for I only want that Jesus in the society be more and more and I be less and less.”    – (May 15, 1965)

I humbly attempt to relate her position to what Braj-rasiks sing–

दिल की हर धड़कन से तेरा नाम निकलता है

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/khl-1.mp3

– Shri Vinod ji Agarwal

Jalwa-e-Mashuq is made with Jetpack Podcast. Full show notes and every episode at https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/