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The mysterious link
“I utter the words of community prayers – and try my utmost to get out of every word the sweetness it has to give.- But my prayer of union is not there any longer. – I no longer pray. – My soul is not one with You – and yet when alone in the streets – I talk to You for hours – of my longing for You. – How intimate are those words – and yet so empty, for they leave me far from You.”
Mother wrote this as a part of her confession in September, 1959 and during the retreat of 1961, she noted-
“Before I could spend hours before Our Lord – loving Him- talking to Him – and now – not even meditation goes properly- nothing but “My God” – even that sometimes does not come. – yet deep down somewhere in my heart that longing for God keeps breaking through that darkness.”
In response, she received a counsel from her director, Father Neuner that
“The sure sign of God’s hidden presence in this darkness is the thirst for God, the craving for at least a ray of His light. No one can long for God unless God is present in his/ her heart. Thus the only response to this trial is the total surrender to God and the acceptance of the darkness in union with Jesus.”
This perspective proved to be of great help to her as she wrote back-
“I can’t express in words – the gratitude I owe you for your kindness to me. – For the first time in these 11 years – I have come to love the darkness. – Today really I felt a deep joy – …… More than ever I surrender myself to Him. – yes – more than ever I will be at His disposal.- I do not believe, Father in that continual digging into one’s spiritual life- by long & frequent visits & talks. The help you have given me- will carry me for a long time.- our spiritual life must remain simple.”
A few months later, she expressed again-
“I am not alone- I have His darkness- I have His pain- I have the terrible longing for God- to love and not to be loved. I know I have Jesus – in that unbroken union- for my mind is fixed on Him and in Him alone, in my will.”
Hence, Father Neuner later remarked-
“I felt she had found her way and did not need my support any longer. So the correspondence came to an end – but the letters I kept as they reflected something of her inner life during these years.”
“Darkness was actually the mysterious link that united her to Jesus. It is the contact of intimate longing for God. Nothing else can fill her mind. Such a longing is possible only through God’s hidden presence. We can not long for something that is not intimately close to us.” – ‘Mother Teresa’s Charisma’, Review for Religious, 60, no. 5 (2001), Father Neuner S.J
Source- Come be My Light, Ch 10 and Ch 11
The Sufi saints have also spoken about this ‘mysterious link’ –
मोहब्बत में कहां नफा यां नुकसान होता है
यह वो दर्द है जो बेहिसाब होता है
तन्हाइयों में जब भी मैं याद करता हूं उसे
मुझे यह महसूस होता है कि
वो वहां मौजूद होता है।
https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/thirst-light-1.mp3
– Shri Vinod ji Agarwal
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By VRINDAVAN“I utter the words of community prayers – and try my utmost to get out of every word the sweetness it has to give.- But my prayer of union is not there any longer. – I no longer pray. – My soul is not one with You – and yet when alone in the streets – I talk to You for hours – of my longing for You. – How intimate are those words – and yet so empty, for they leave me far from You.”
Mother wrote this as a part of her confession in September, 1959 and during the retreat of 1961, she noted-
“Before I could spend hours before Our Lord – loving Him- talking to Him – and now – not even meditation goes properly- nothing but “My God” – even that sometimes does not come. – yet deep down somewhere in my heart that longing for God keeps breaking through that darkness.”
In response, she received a counsel from her director, Father Neuner that
“The sure sign of God’s hidden presence in this darkness is the thirst for God, the craving for at least a ray of His light. No one can long for God unless God is present in his/ her heart. Thus the only response to this trial is the total surrender to God and the acceptance of the darkness in union with Jesus.”
This perspective proved to be of great help to her as she wrote back-
“I can’t express in words – the gratitude I owe you for your kindness to me. – For the first time in these 11 years – I have come to love the darkness. – Today really I felt a deep joy – …… More than ever I surrender myself to Him. – yes – more than ever I will be at His disposal.- I do not believe, Father in that continual digging into one’s spiritual life- by long & frequent visits & talks. The help you have given me- will carry me for a long time.- our spiritual life must remain simple.”
A few months later, she expressed again-
“I am not alone- I have His darkness- I have His pain- I have the terrible longing for God- to love and not to be loved. I know I have Jesus – in that unbroken union- for my mind is fixed on Him and in Him alone, in my will.”
Hence, Father Neuner later remarked-
“I felt she had found her way and did not need my support any longer. So the correspondence came to an end – but the letters I kept as they reflected something of her inner life during these years.”
“Darkness was actually the mysterious link that united her to Jesus. It is the contact of intimate longing for God. Nothing else can fill her mind. Such a longing is possible only through God’s hidden presence. We can not long for something that is not intimately close to us.” – ‘Mother Teresa’s Charisma’, Review for Religious, 60, no. 5 (2001), Father Neuner S.J
Source- Come be My Light, Ch 10 and Ch 11
The Sufi saints have also spoken about this ‘mysterious link’ –
मोहब्बत में कहां नफा यां नुकसान होता है
यह वो दर्द है जो बेहिसाब होता है
तन्हाइयों में जब भी मैं याद करता हूं उसे
मुझे यह महसूस होता है कि
वो वहां मौजूद होता है।
https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/thirst-light-1.mp3
– Shri Vinod ji Agarwal