“Thank God we don’t serve God with our feelings, otherwise I don’t know where I would be.”

Excerpets from some of the letters which Saint Teresa of Calcutta wrote to Father Nuener, SJ –

“The lord ls having His own game- I give what He takes.- He does not seem to want me to have the human consolation I would derive from my talking to you– I am happy with whatever pleases Him best. I accept whatever He gives.- I have nothing to say.”    – (January, 1963)

“The only thing that keeps me on – is the conviction that the work, the sisters, the society- all is His. I claim nothing – …… Pray that He may empty my emptiness.- He still plays His game – and I still keep smiling during His game.”    – (September, 1963)

“As for me – what will I tell you? I have nothing since I have not got Him – whom my heart and soul longs to possess. Aloneness is so great. – From within and from without I find no one to turn to. – He has taken not only spiritual- but even the human help. I can speak to no one and even if I do- nothing enters my soul.- if there is hell- this must be one.  How terrible it is to be without God- no prayer- no faith- no love. …….- And yet, Father- in spite of all these- I want to be faithful to Him- to spend myself for Him, to love Him not for what He gives but for what He takes- to be at His disposal. – I do not ask Him to change His attitude towards me or His plans for me.- I only ask Him to use me.”  – (January, 1965)

“God has its own way in all the things. – Slowly I learn to accept everything just as He gives it.-I still have many, many things to learn-  see what He does.- He pours Himself on the little society- and yet takes every drop of consolation from my very soul – I am glad it is so- for I only want that Jesus in the society be more and more and I be less and less.”    – (May 15, 1965)

I humbly attempt to relate her position to what Braj-rasiks sing–

दिल की हर धड़कन से तेरा नाम निकलता है

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/khl-1.mp3

– Shri Vinod ji Agarwal