Hard Conversations

This week, Tim interviews to Ela Darling, a librarian-turned-adult-film-performer and co-founder of VrTube.xx, the world's first VR webcam software. She talks about the future of VR porn, what it's like to be on porn sets when men face erectile issues (e.d.), interacting with clients on porn sites who are struggling with their erections, and worrying that you're not having sex like a porn star. Ela also has some great advice for people with penises and their partners.

This week Tim interviews Allen Silver, prolific porn star and graduate of San Francisco's Body Electric who also works as a 'sacred intimate.' They discuss 'play' and getting out of your head to maintain erections, and reasons ejaculation could be delayed or not happening at all. Allen explains how changing narratives/roles, working with your breath, and doing masturbation homework can transform your sexuality and discusses unconventional approaches to sex including role play, erotic trance, and I-thou.

Dani Katz is a writer and Tantric healer (aka Tantrica) who works with penises, sacrums and chakras to help men become more open to receiving sexual energy. She has great insights to what's going on in the body during sex and erections (or lack thereof), and provides masturbation tips galore, such as changing angles or grips, focusing on physical sensations over sexual fantasy, easing back on porn consumption, and taking breaks from masturbation altogether. Enjoy!

In today's episode, Tim talks to Max McCullen, a Men's Sexual Health Consultant. They go over the biological side of erectile issues and strategies to address them, including PDE5s (medications like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra), penile injection therapy, vacuum erection devices, vasodilating, pellet therapy, hormone replacement, and surgical penile implants. Max also talks about the five components of an erection: visual/tactile, mental, hormonal, nervous system, and blood flow, and he and Tim discuss sex-positive masculinity.

In today's episode, Tim talks to Dr. Laurie Bennett Cook, a former sex-worker, now a sex educator and sex surrogate (also referred to as a surrogate partner therapist). In describing her work, Dr. Cook says: "a large part of my job is to be a sex enabler. I assist others in achieving the level of sexual function they desire." Tim and Dr. Cook discuss the kinds of issues her clients grapple with, the process of working with a sex surrogate, the difference between a sex surrogate and sex therapist, and challenging the idea of a goal-oriented approach to sex.

You can find Dr. Cook here.

Hello, so excited for my first guest, Giselle Jones, sex therapist. We talk about the ins and outs of erectile issues, what sex therapy is like, what it's like to work with a female sex therapist, performance anxiety, sexual trauma and its effects on sexuality, mindfulness and its benefits for erectile issues, and how to apply mindfulness to your intimacy. Giselle also kindly guides us through a mindfulness exercise as well.

Coping with Erectile Dysfunction, by Metz and McCarthy is referenced and you can find Giselle Jones here.

Introducing Hard Conversations, a podcast about male sexuality. In this first episode, therapist Tim Norton shares information about his background as a sex therapist, as well as the ways in which he hopes to expand the conversation about male sexuality. He also covers some of the basic information about erectile issues, and adds some context to why we struggle as a society to have hard conversations. Finally he breaks down how in a sex-positive environment there really is no room for taboos, judgment, or shame when it comes to penises. Enjoy.