Hardcore Humanism with Dr. Mike

Today we are talking with Grammy Award winning musician, singer and songwriter Shawn Colvin. You may know Shawn from some of her hit songs such as “Sunny Came Home.” And Shawn has a new live album out called Dragon Clouds, a recording of a 1994 Los Angeles show. Shawn will also be touring in 2022 to mark the 30th anniversary of her debut album Steady On.

Now on a personal note, it was wonderful to get the chance to talk with Shawn again. Shawn was actually one of the first artists I ever interviewed for Psychology Today who was open about her struggles with mental health. The first time we spoke was back in 2014 where Shawn shared her struggle with depression and alcoholism. What was so striking was Shawn’s openness about how depression interfered with her engaging in basic life functioning. Just getting up in the morning could be an all day task if it ever happened at all. And the feedback I got on the interview was so powerful. People talked about how the stigma of mental illness had held them back from sharing their mental health issues with others, in some cases so much so that people didn’t get treatment for their depression and addiction. And Shawn’s sharing her story gave people hope that they could reach out and get the help and support they needed. 

And that feedback was ultimately one of the reasons my wife Aylin and I decided to eventually launch The Hardcore Humanism Podcast. We saw the power of someone like Shawn to not only change people’s lives through their music, but also through sharing personal stories of how they overcame barriers such as depression and addiction to pursue their authentic lives.

A core goal of humanistic approaches to therapy is to help people remove barriers in their lives so that they can self-actualize. And one of the barriers that many people face in pursuing and achieving their best, actualized selves is mental illness. In our conversation today we talk in depth with Shawn about how depression and alcoholism interfered with a central core feature of her purpose in life, which is to be a creative artist. And Shawn talks specifically about the regimen that she uses for her ongoing recovery from both depression and alcoholism.

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This week on The Hardcore Humanism Podcast we have Grammy Award winning musician, singer, songwriter and producer Paula Cole. You may know Paula from some of her greatest hits such as “Where Have All The Cowboys Gone” and “I Don’t Want To Wait.” And Paula has a new album out May 21st called American Quilt that you can preorder now.

One of the most important principles of humanistic psychology is the fundamental value of human beings and the hope that they will self-actualize, meaning that they find their authentic purpose and achieve it. And one of the most important things that we try to do as humanistic therapists is to remove the barriers that interfere with someone finding their authentic self. And unfortunately, a very powerful force that interferes with people pursuing their purpose in life is stereotyping. 

Over the course of her career and life, Cole has consistently written and spoken out about the harmful effects of sexism in our society. And in our conversation, Cole talks in particular about how sexism has interfered with her ability to find her authentic voice both personally and professionally. 

Cole explained how she understands and confronts this bias. And one of the things that was really interesting to hear about was what Paula refers to as her “jazz self.” And that is something that is a deep and enduring yearning to be improvisational. It is a drive to explore new forms of expression and ways of looking at the world. It’s the exact opposite of the limits that stereotypes and bias have put on her. And if we can take a cue from our favorite artists like Cole and think about how we can be open-minded and creative in our own life, we can challenge the biases that others have for us as we shatter barriers and pursue our purpose in life.

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This week on The Hardcore Humanism Podcast we are talking with musician, vocalist and songwriter Myles Kennedy. You may know Myles best as the lead vocalist and guitarist for the hard rock band Alter Bridge, as well as the vocalist on all of guitar legend Slash’s solo records. And now Myles has his own solo album out on May 14th called The Ides of March.

One path to leading a healthy and happy life is the ability to identify and pursue our purpose. And ideally, a purpose-driven life can be fulfilling in and of itself, even if we don’t achieve all of our tangible goals. The fulfillment and satisfaction come from having a purpose and putting a process into place to strive for it so that we can live a life that is authentic to us.

That being said, we are still human beings and if we have a specific goal in mind, it can be frustrating if we don’t see results immediately. In fact, one of the biggest barriers to achieving our purpose in life is when we assume that it should take a specific amount of time, or happen in a certain way. But oftentimes it can take years, or even an entire lifetime to achieve our specific goals. And we need to accept that while our effort to pursue our purpose must remain strong and consistent, the attainment of a specific goal may take longer than we’d expected or hoped.

Which brings us to Myles Kennedy. What was interesting about my conversation with Myles is that he exudes rock star – he’s a handsome guy, has a fantastic voice and is a great guitar player. So, to be honest I naturally assumed that things worked out for him kind of quickly. But in our conversation, Myles explained how it took him years to build a career in music. And during that time, he often questioned whether things would work out for him as he had hoped professionally.

But Myles talks about how he was able to work through his self-doubt to pursue his purpose in music -- a really interesting and exciting concept that he calls “soul investing.” And what Myles is talking about is the perseverance that we need when we pursue our purpose – that investment we make in our authentic self over time. And this is not easy, as the tangible rewards don’t come immediately. But we have to constantly be asking ourselves as Myles did, “How badly do we want it?” And that soul investment will not only make it more likely that we will achieve our purpose-driven goals, but also give is a feeling of fulfillment no matter what the outcome.

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Today on The Hardcore Humanism Podcast, we are talking with musician, vocalist and songwriter Nancy Wilson - founding member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducted band Heart. Heart gave us such amazing songs as “Magic Man,” “Barracuda,” “Crazy On You,” “Never,” “Alone” and “These Dreams.” And now Nancy is coming out with her first solo album titled You And Me.

The title track on the album, “You and Me,” is Nancy’s tribute to her late mother, Lois, who struggled with Alzheimer’s. During our conversation, Nancy recalled her family's wartime experiences and drew similarities between this past year with the pandemic and life during a war. She spoke with great admiration and love for her mother. In one story, she shares how her mother took Nancy, at age 2, and her siblings, both 4 years old, on a ship to Taiwan where her father was stationed as a Marine. She described how the ship had no rails and this became a metaphor for Nancy in understanding the strength of her mother and the safety she always provided. One of the most difficult things about life is that at times it feels like there are no rails. And when we feel that vulnerability, we often turn to people we love to provide that comfort and security as they help us pursue our purpose in life. 

A core principle of humanistic psychology is that to find fulfillment we must seek to self-actualize or become the best version of ourselves as we pursue our purpose. Albert Maslow hypothesized that in order to reach self-actualization, we must first satisfy our “love and belonging” needs. Ironically, as we build connections to gain that sense of love and belonging, we must also simultaneously risk losing them whether through breakup, distance or death. 

However, in this album, Nancy shares with us how her relationship with her mother is still something that comforts her and drives her in her life, music and purpose. During our conversation, Nancy describes how she still feels her mother’s presence in her life. She talks about how a loved one’s energy never stops and is not gone, but rather continues like “ripples on the water.” And those ripples reverberate throughout time and our lives, still providing us that comfort in a life with no rails.

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Today on The Hardcore Humanism Podcast, we are talking with Adam Weiner – vocalist, musician and songwriter for the band Low Cut Connie. During quarantine, Adam and Low Cut Connie have been live streaming a show called Tough Cookies, a combination of a talk show, concert series and support group for people during the pandemic. And the show has been so successful and had so many great performances that they are putting out an album of the cover songs they performed during the broadcast called Tough Cookies: The Best of the Quarantine Broadcasts. The album will arrive May 19th, and is available to preorder digitally and on CD and vinyl.

One of the reasons that Low Cut Connie’s music so compelling is that Weiner will often write songs about or from the perspective of people who have been marginalized or “forgotten” in our society. Weiner points out in our discussion that much of our society seems to glorify celebrity, wealth or mainstream social status at the expense of people who do not fit into one of those exalted categories. And this process emerges at a very young age, where it feels as though the world is made up of “cool” kids and not so cool kids. The cool kids get rewarded with popularity and having the attention and admiration of other kids and maybe even teachers and parents. They get the benefit of the doubt if they do something wrong. And there’s a sense, either implicitly or even explicitly that we should all try to be one of the cool kids, or at least participate in the admiration.

One of the key goals humanistic psychotherapy is to provide people who may feel marginalized with the unconditional positive regard that they need in order to push back against those societal pressures. And by pushing back, people can often come to understand who they really are and what they want to do in their life. One of the biggest barriers that we face is trying to be authentic in the face of so many pressures to be otherwise.

And what Adam talks about was how he recognized that he didn’t want to conform and be cool in that sense of the word. And when choosing his friends, he gravitated towards people who were more on the fringes. As Adam got older, he was able to dig deeper into the ways that he felt uncool and marginalized. He not only expressed this in his art and performances, but he also found a community of likeminded people who similarly rejected conventional notions of cool in favor of more individuality and authenticity. And Adam’s lesson is crucial for anyone who has felt marginalized, stigmatized or "uncool."

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This week on The Hardcore Humanism Podcast we are talking with Marc Labelle, vocalist of the hard rock band Dirty Honey. In 2019, Dirty Honey became the first unsigned band ever to be #1 on Billboard’s Mainstream Rock chart with their song “When I’m Gone.” 

In our discussion, Labelle talks very specifically about his purpose and what has guided a lot of his decision making, which is a passion for music. There is mounting evidence that people who have a strong sense of purpose experience improved physical and emotional health. A strong sense of purpose can also be the key to self-actualization – or the complete realization of one’s potential -- a concept that humanistic theorists such as Albert Maslow feel represent the essence of thriving as a human being. Thus, understanding how we can discover and nurture a strong sense of purpose may be an important pathway towards optimal health and well-being.

Labelle shares the story of how he went to California with no job, no home, and no band to pursue his passion for music. And for a long period of time, he lived in his car or on friends’ porches to get by. During this time, he was able to build a schedule that reflected his needs not just to survive but also to pursue his music career, including songwriting, band practice and playing shows. What makes Labelle’s and Dirty Honey’s accomplishments thus far even more impressive is that they are doing everything without a record label, which means that he and his band are engaged in a great deal of the business of the band that is often handled by a record label. They are an independent band that is building from the ground up – and having great success so far.

And all the while, what guides Labelle’s decisions – including who he wants in his band and as supportive people around him -- is a passion for music. That is the glue for him. He needs to be in a band with and surrounded by people who support that passion he feels and his purpose in music. And when we have that purpose – that commitment to something that feels bigger than ourselves – it can help us overcome adversity whether living in our car or trying to become rock stars as an independent band.

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This week on The Hardcore Humanism Podcast, we talk with musician, vocalist and songwriter William Duvall. Many people know Duvall as a member of the legendary rock band Alice in Chains. Duvall has been in the band for over a decade, during which time they put out albums such as Black Gives Way To Blue, The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here, and Rainier Fog. But before he joined Alice In Chains, Duvall was in several previous bands, including being a founding member of the Atlanta hardcore punk rock band Neon Christ. And Duvall has just revealed that Neon Christ is reissuing a deluxe release of the band’s material from 1984 – a co-release between Southern Lord and DVL Recordings to celebrate Record Store Day (June 12th).

This deluxe release was a wonderful opportunity for Duvall to share the story of how Neon Christ was formed and the obstacles he, his friends and band mates faced to realize their dream. And one of the most notable features of that story was the sheer determination that Duvall and Neon Christ showed in order to achieve their goals. The term “determination” can be defined as being resolved to carry out one’s purpose in life. Research suggests that people who have a stronger sense of purpose have increased longevity and healthier behaviors as well as increased work productivity and improved emotional coping. T

Duvall pursued his hardcore punk purpose with Neon Christ in 1980’s Atlanta Georgia when there was barely any kind of punk rock scene. Duvall discovered his need to express himself authentically. And despite having no initial support, Duvall shares how he pursued this purpose through a singular focus on working hard to form Neon Christ and build a broad community of like-minded people. And while Duvall is now a full-fledged rock star in a legendary band, achieving both commercial and critical success, one of the most notable things about his journey with Neon Christ was how he dedicated himself to his purpose before having any sense that it would be “successful” in the conventional sense. We may not all become big-time rock stars. But if we pursue our passion, work hard to achieve it and build a supportive community around us, we can find excitement and fulfillment like we heard from Duvall.

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What’s up Hardcore Humans! Today on the Hardcore Humanism Podcast we are talking with Sean Long – guitarist and founding member of the metalcore band While She Sleeps. Metalcore is an intense genre of music that combines heavy metal and hardcore punk. While She Sleeps has been making fantastic metalcore music for 15 years, and they have a new album coming out called Sleeps Society. The album includes the track, “You Are All You Need,” a song that Loudwire just raved, “is more proof that While She Sleeps are defining the current era of metalcore.”

The theme of the song “You Are All You Need” and the topic of the conversation with Long is validation. Specifically, how we can provide ourselves with the validation we need in our life rather than rely on other people to provide that validation. When we feel validated we feel more centered and sure of how we feel and who we are. Emotional validation becomes a strong basis upon which to build a sense of purpose and work for the life we want. But if we do not receive the validation we need, over time we start to doubt our sense of our own reality, become disconnected from who we are and our purpose in life. In extreme cases it gets to the point where we feel nullified – like we don’t matter as human beings.

During my conversation with Long, we explore the dangers of relying on external validation. And he shares the story of one of their shows where the attendance was far less than expected or hoped for. He was able to validate his feeling of being disappointed. It’s natural as you’re building your career in music to want as many people as possible at a show. And by validating his feelings, Long talked about how he was able to then connect to his music in that moment and just concentrate on playing the best show he could, regardless of how many people were there. So, take the external validation when it comes – allow yourself to feel good about it. And always do your best to build a community to support you. And always remember that your emotions and purpose are your own – it can neither be fully validated by others, nor can it ever be taken away. Connect with yourself, your purpose, and how you want to work hard to build the life you want no matter who is in your corner at a given point. And give yourself that internal validation you need to build the life you want.

So, let’s check out what Long has to say!

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What’s up Hardcore Humans! Today on The Hardcore Humanism Podcast we talk with Hip Hop artist Hopsin. As an artist he has written, performed, and produced many singles, mixtapes and albums, including the “Ill Mind of Hopsin” song and video series. Hopsin is also the founder of the record label and merch line Undercover Prodigy. During this conversation, we talk with Hopsin about how he charted his own path to becoming an independent artist and entrepreneur.

And specifically, we talk with Hopsin about how he needed to be an independent thinker in order to find his unique path to pursuing his professional goals. Unfortunately, sometimes having an independent mind isn’t necessarily easy or comfortable. Often, people who are independent and divergent thinkers – whether they are innovative in art, science or business – are discouraged from their path because it clashes with familial expectation or norms in a society. Unfortunately, many of us succumb to this pressure and do in fact become discouraged from pursuing our purpose in life.

During our conversation, Hopsin focuses on how he was able to chart his own path by being artistically creative and innovative in his business model. In order to do so, Hopsin had to do something which is often very difficult – keep focused on his sense of purpose – which was to make great music and reach his fans, rather than on only achieving an intermediate step such as being signed to a major label. And as Hopsin was developing his music and stage performance, he was also examining which business models worked best to connect with his fans. Ultimately, Hopsin decided to create his own independent label – Undercover Prodigy – to serve as the vehicle for sharing his music and developing his other entrepreneurial ventures. Further, Hopsin explained how he was able to build a business culture around him that supported rather than hindered his professional goals. Whatever our career and personal paths may be, musician or not, we can learn lessons from Hopsin’s experiences that we can apply to charting our own unique life course.

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This week on The Hardcore Humanism Podcast we talked with Neil Fallon – founding member, vocalist and songwriter of the legendary rock band Clutch. In a review of Clutch’s album Book of Bad Decisions (2018), Rolling Stone describes Clutch’s music as “bluesy, riff-centric hard rock with hints of psychedelia and punk, topped off by the gravelly roar of wildly charismatic front man Neil Fallon.” And yet as compelling as Clutch’s music is, one of the most striking qualities of the band is that Clutch has not only retained the same band members for thirty years, but they have also built one of the most passionate and devoted fan bases in rock music. When people talk about Clutch it goes way beyond music they love. They talk about Clutch as the soundtrack of their lives – and remember some of the most important moments in their lives as they relate to Clutch albums and shows. 

Even for those of us who are not in a band, there’s a lot to be learned from Fallon and Clutch about how to build a supportive community around us. Because one of the most important things that we can all do in our quest to develop a fulfilling and purpose-driven life is to build a culture around us that supports our hopes, our dreams – our vision of who we are and what we want to achieve.

Hardcore Humanism therapy and coaching has its foundation in Humanistic psychology. And humanistic psychologists such as Albert Maslow have posited that in order to lead a self-actualized life, we must build strong social connections. And decades of research supports the notion that having a strong social support network predicts improved physical and mental health. 

And yet while we have ample evidence that a strong support network improves our health and well-being, most of us aren’t sure of how to go about building a community around us that is optimal for our needs. And while Fallon acknowledges that he and the band did not consciously orchestrate the connection the band has with its fans, he was able to retrospectively point to some possible factors that contributed to their unique and loyal relationship. 

We hope that as you check out what Fallon has to say, you can apply lessons from his life to yours and learn to build strong, supportive social networks that will help you achieve your own life’s purpose!

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