part of this is I need new ways I don't have many people in my life who see things this way or a similar way and so this is a call out for ways to create ricos one of the first things I'm going to do when I start actually embodying my mania again is practicing random acts of kindness for to our time chunks approximately I don't know if I covered this bit I have this bunch of writing and I don't know if I covered this so I'm going to go quickly but I was thinking maplin mania and psychosis land is kind of like feedback it's sort of like the missteps along the way and then having to retrace one steps and sort of having experiences of old memories and new perceptions mixed together so it's almost in a way by doing that it's a way to integrate the past to catch up with the present i think we experienced such extreme states because maybe we're even clearing our our light body are mine screen or perceptual apparatus of all those accumulated bits of dust of the ego that we've recorded over time and even if it's not even if it's not getting rid of them as at least making us aware that they're there and and in that way we can perhaps act in different ways instead of being instead of acting in unconscious ways and we don't know why we're acting that way sort of gives us an idea of why we're acting that way and I do think the collective unconscious comes in here as well so there's some personal karma that's resolved as well as collective unconscious karma and this is all just conceptual it's not necessarily true it's just an interesting way to think about it i'm just playing with words it's almost like an attempt to get congruent or jumping through hoops to get congruent and i don't think it can be fully done in the process mania and that's where harvesting comes in in retrospect in order to get an alignment with one's vision we realize that we're sort of off track as a human being and being on the eco track is always being off track and there's no such thing as one track there's so many different tracks and it's up for us to be explorers of that and not just stay on our single ego safe track that we think is safety but really it leads to isolation and increases the potential of developing a so-called mental illness and I wrote down I think that when somebody's talking about their personal goals they're actually talking about their mental illness because unless it's an alignment with the universe it's not good and the manic energy of the universe comes in and opens up our vision we can see so much and then the myopic view of professionals and so-called normal people actually collapse that huge vision into a small narrow band of illness mania is like stepping outside one's personal history and it's a blank slate and in a way I wanted to mania after experiencing some distressful things and it was maybe a way to almost save me from that because had I kept going in that terrified state I don't know what would have happened to me and I was thinking about how the trans consciousness experience is sort of like having access to new perceptions new insights new means but also having access to one's ego which is ones old way of relating in order to relate to the collective society that's still out there we do need both and I take medication too I think maintain that dual awareness in April when I was in the psych ward they try to put me on a lot of seroquel and I did not want that and so I'm not on it I'm just on a bit of lithium and I'm able to still learn and live and and have an enjoyable life if I was on the other medication I wouldn't feel like that and i would feel pretty miserable how do we design Society for manic flow I wrote down here the thinker is the thought and this is something that J Krishnamurti talks about a lot and I never really got it until I heard somebody say that here is the speaker so the one in the mind that's listening to the thought happening is the same as the thought it's the same energy and process so it's divided into speaker and listener and it makes us feel like there's something actually happening there but really it's one thing so in that way to replace the speaker like a thought the speaker with a different speaker a different thought is the same thing I think flow and mania is universal cognition precognition but it's actually the real cognition as in the cognition of the prefrontal cortex is noise and blocks the cognition of the universe manian restores complexity I wrote down the universe's childlike I'm thinking the universe produces children what is it that produces adults I don't think that was the universe's design so it's no wonder that the universe can give us the experience of manic consciousness so we can remember what it's like to be a child which is what it's like to be a human being I feel like when we have a clear mind screen inner light body interface interface that actually reap a turns the brain as well it also reap a turns the brain by seeing possibilities feel like when the mine screen is clear there's a process perception understanding action all in one movement there's no image on the mine screen there's a sense of understanding and pattern recognition and the action proceeds from that and if we were operating from the state of PA you we would unfold and create a different world our crappy food helps co-create our crappy world and fasting it helps to starve the ego because food is mostly for pleasure so the ego is pleasure and avoiding pain and when that in ermine screen is clear it's also a state of harmony with what one is perceiving not disharmony & dicie's is usually in perceiving something that's not actually there in the moment right now it's reacting to the past and since there's nothing we can do what the past innately we're going to feel dis-ease us being in our light body self and in more of our material gravity allostatic load accumulate itself is all these images that we've accumulated all over time all these recordings and it's almost like each time we snap out of recording mode we are in that light body self and the recordings loose hold on us but also the universe can come in and snap us out of that recording mode and all the recordings we have to maybe go back through them in order to re-attach and re-assemble our ego and our ego is in a way our meaning making process and what we think things mean so on the way back to our ego if we get the meaning that that means we're ill we're going to incorporate that into our ego and then self stigmatize and just make the whole thing worse and I watched a TED talk on intermittent fasting and they said on the days you don't eat so much you're more productive I don't know if that's true seems like fasting decouples us from pleasure and then it allows the body to sort of heal from the accumulated pleasure pain bipolar nature of vacillating between pleasurable images and avoiding painful images with the pleasurable images I'm interested in worldcentric human performance I also feel like this pattern recognition learning is so much more powerful than this linear process that is being used to create society and also keep us in the structure of society that things could change very quickly I don't remember if I read this part either but we practice ourselves out of being ourselves we practice ourselves into a narrow ego tunnel that's why practicing one's mania is increasing the degrees of freedom and I think I did talk about how mindfulness is sort of like being able to still exist in the chaos of society and and it's has valued in that a person is more calm and more centered more balanced but and it changes the social fabric a little bit in that way but I feel being a chief disturber and being really kind and silly and friendly would change the social fabric even more than a personal mindfulness practice of sitting there and mania is a different software it's the software of the universe and not the software that we've been given from the ego society if the universe can do that to us put us into that manic state it could take us out with a blink of an eye we're so worried about so many different things happening the universe can take us out with a blink of an eye and we don't understand that we are the universe and we're co-creating the energy that will create our own demise I remember watching an Alan Watts video and he was talking about a few little interesting fantasies he had about one was about how something along the lines of eventually humanity will get to the point where they press the button and blow up the earth and then what will happen is little bits of DNA will be blown through the entire universe and in that way whatever suitable planet is out there for life will start again and spring a new humanity eventually and I know that was funny because there's so much effort by humanity to go to outer space and we very well may get to outer space but not in the way that we think the universe is trying to reorganize our brains it's trying to activate the circuits that we used to have access to but lost and so it's important to move in the way the universe wants us to move because then we won't really notice when the energy comes and also to when the energy comes we might become even more energetic and wonderful and if we're already kind of that way anyway the people that know us aren't going to notice that much of a difference so they won't think Oh something's wrong with this person they'll think oh this is how I know this person to have evolved in the last couple of years and it's just the next stage of however they're operating so if we sit around and we don't practice and then we go into that energy again people are going to think oh they're ill whereas we if we practice and also design our life around being creative so if that energy comes were just a bit more creative then there's not that much difference people aren't going to notice that much so part of the practicing isn't just about changing the social fabric but it's changing the fabric of ones being because we know that that energy is going to come at certain points and we don't want to appear completely different so one could disguise it as sing oh I'm taking improv and take improv classes and learn to be more spontaneous and have different gestures and then everyone that knows you thinks oh wow that improv is really working and then all of a sudden when manic energy comes in that energy just animates you even further and you're kind of a genius in the craft you were already exploring so another thing we got to is doing things one enjoys so when the energy comes it'll just make it that much more joyful instead of oh you quit your meaningless job and you went over here because you felt that energy know your life was already really meaningful so that energy just contributed to that meaning so it's about closing the gap between the way that energy is going to animate us and how we are in our life and I think that's a little bit different than what some people are doing out there I think it's important to do the other stuff too very important but I also feel like if we design our life in alignment with meaning and also make it relational that energy is going to have somewhere to go and maybe it'll be invited back and maybe when it does come back we're not going to notice that much because it's not that different from our daily life and then it will have served its purpose it will have remoulded us and recreated us and redesigned us as adults and most times adults don't change very much in their life at all but it seems like we've gone to a place in society and in humanity in evolution where human adult's can't just change very small amounts in their adulthood it has to happen faster now and it is happening faster for some people and the people that go into these states of consciousness are probably the people that need to take some of the responsibility for changing and not changing into what society would tell us to change into even though they try to say oh you can recover it's important to change into that self that you changed into change back into it it gave you a hint it gave you the pattern it's like having a pattern for sewing but if you don't actually cut out the fabric so it together you're not going to have the final product and some of its from the universe so that vision is sort of a gift from the universe and it's a gift regifting ourselves to ourselves and showing ourselves to ourselves our true self and what our potential is and how we've moved away from our potential and it's not about us sitting there and thinking oh it's sad that now I feel depressed and all that it's about how do I live out the potential that it that the universe showed me a lot of people have different spiritual beliefs and things and maybe sit around and feel that spiritual belief well we were given the spiritual belief as ourselves for ourselves and it was shown to us so clearly not just some words on a page on a book to make us take in and then feel kind of a little bit better because we read something we actually got to read ourselves as ourselves and be ourselves as ourselves and read the universe as it is it's a beautiful place it's a place where you probably never want to read a book again and I think that's a big part of it actually because I used to read and I read the book power vs force by dr. David Hawkins and it's a great book and I love his work he's one of my definite favorites on different things in he researched consciousness and evolution of consciousness and he had a scale of consciousness from 0 to 1000 and basically said that most adults progress five points in their consciousness evolution in a lifetime and on a thousand point scale that's not very much and so I feel like this manic consciousness energy comes in and it makes us advanced practically to the end practically to enlightenment like we feel like we're there but it's not earned in a way and Ken Wilber talks about this he talks about how stages are earned and states are not earned in their temporary so i could go into a certain state by taking a certain drug but it's going to wear off now what is the equivalent of how i have to be in thought feeling action gesture relational mind life to actually create that shift in consciousness that would create the epigenetic changes that would give me that state as an earned stage so I feel that matic consciousness gives us those states it gives us the state of mania of practically enlightenment of everything in between and then when we fall down we fall down to the lowest we fall down which his lowest on the scale is shame and I'm sure we've all experienced that we've experienced personal shame or a shame of being a human and I've experienced that for sure and and it's difficult to stay alive one of that happens so in just as we haven't necessarily earned the state or the stage of enlightenment we haven't really earned the stage of shame so we don't stay there permanently it's a state it's a state of shame and it does pass and I I know he goes from the shame to guilt to anger and different and I've definitely gone back up and it's it's interesting how changing the states of consciousness and the lower levels is painful because it's like going from one painful thing to another to another but it's definitely showing the entire spectrum so in that way I realized as a human being I have access to the entire spectrum and depending on where on the spectrum of consciousness I am that's going to be kind of where I manifest my behaviors so but my point with that if you want to look more into power vs force it's a great book in my point with that is basically that mania makes us go up to the highest consciousness and then back to the lowest and then when we bounce back up again if we do I think often times we've gained more than five points in consciousness on the evolutionary consciousness scale and in mania we learn a new language we learn to read the universe and we learn to create new language in new ways of communicating but they're not always received very well those would be good to keep in mind for the future because maybe those ones will be more well received in the future and just as kids when they're first learning language they first just start making sounds and they're not making sense in the same way with mania some of the things that are coming out don't really make sense but it's just the whole point is to set that in motion that speaking without thinking in a way it's speaking from beyond thinking to me medication is kind of like putting on blinders so perception opened up in mounted consciousness and psychosis and then we are medicated into not really being able to see all that stuff but it's still there we're still probably feeling it and since we're not changing the situation completely it's still accumulating as allostatic load which could lead to so-called relapse the ego self is the limit itself and the trans conscious self is the unlimited self that we all share it's the common humanity ego consciousness is like tuning into the same AM radio station whereas manic consciousness is like knowing one has access to Wi-Fi and can access any station anywhere and going through that bipolar experience of manic consciousness and then psychosis it's like having to survive the entire spectrum of humanity the entire spectrum of human possibility and maybe in order to actually become awakened to that shared consciousness of humanity one has to experience the entire spectrum it's like unzipping it if the ego is just this bit and then we unzip the entire spectrum of humanity so now one has access to perceiving from that perspective and they also have access to relating from the ego consciousness so in that way mana consciousness might go from extreme mania where it's like a huge flow experience bigger than flow to almost being able to surf the universe by having the ego as the rider and they shared consciousness as the wave the shared consciousness is the consciousness of humanity which is equivalent to the universe or at least the parts that we have access to and then the ego is the little rider and the ego is learning actually how to surf all that energy instead of just being an ego-self walking over puddles I might have said this before but it's really like seeing that I am the world and the world is me and J Krishnamurti talks about this and when one goes into mania and psychosis one really experiences that yes I am the world and the world as me it's very confusing in that state because the you don't know what's you and what's something else so the real immunity that we need is the immunity to words which is again sticks and stones we need to become immune to the sticks and stones of psychiatry I feel like if the state of learning was never taken away from us as children we would be sort of like people in mania going about the world enjoy sharing our creativity and energy and love and seeing the world and traveling whereas we're trained into these functions and then we get these jobs and then we watch the world on TV and the TV in turn keeps programming us so lithium in a way is a helpful blinder it's helpful to have lithium blinders on in a blind world one of the ways altruism is healing is that we're not thinking about our self so thinking about our own personal problems were out co-creating solutions to the world's problems and so we forget about our own problems if we're all out creating solution to the world's problems perhaps there would be no problems and that's the thing the ego makes things a personal problem when there's no real such thing as personal problems beauty is the absence of self-reflexive thought I feel like one of the ways one of the important parts of gay people is actually to produce less children because the world is overpopulated so people being gay should actually be a happy thing because they're less likely to have children together actually I have a funny thought that the universe eventually is probably going to be creating gay men out of straight men so straight men will be totally straight going through their life and then poof they're gay and this will be some of the punishment for violence against women and things like that that's one of the reasons why I like gay people is are not going to rape women just as a person can be ego consciousness and then one day go through mania and have trans consciousness have the tendency to go into that maybe the universe is going to start to change sexual orientations midlife as well and a lot of this is to challenge us to see that we're not this ego me that we think we are and the ego isn't spiritual so any attempt to become spiritual through the ego isn't going to work and I feel the spiritual domains are actually just human domains of when the ego is absent when we're in full celebration play laughter silliness so it's actually I'm realizing that in those moments it's usually relational so we're actually not existing as an ego because we're existing in the arising relationship with somebody else so we've created a we we've created a we go not the ego and then that's when we feel we feel the best because there's no ego self there after a spiritual play is spiritual I don't think there's anything that's spiritual on its own spiritual maybe relates to certain things but there's no such thing as spiritual I wrote down that matter is a celebration of light so the matter we can see is on the visible light spectrum and so matter is kind of a celebration of light and the spectrum that we can see and if we could really see if we saw a tree we would understand it and then we wouldn't destroy it I don't know if I made a video on this either I wrote a paper on the psycho centric nature of Mental Health First Aid so I thought that it would be cool to create human centric things they talked about the linguistic techniques and practices well what are the linguistic techniques and practices of human centrism and World centricity and and wellness literacy and perception is light and ego is sound and the ego sound gets in the way of the light of clear perception yet if we see with the lighted clear perception different sound comes through us instead of it being sounds of the ego it sounds of something else

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