Welcome. Won’t you step into the DEAD center of the room. We’ve being DYING to meet you. It will be a SPIRITED visit. Hopefully, you won’t get eviscerated by the homeless guy we gave two rocks of meth to work the chainsaw. I mean, of CORPSE you’ll have a good time.

We love them. Whether they are the real deal of a bunch of guys wrapped in toilet paper in a church fellowship hall, haunted houses give us a wonderful thrill. Sit back and listen to our wonderful tales of terror. Ami tells us why she will never buy a house with carpet. Robb tells us my he will always connect screams of terror with early adolescent arousal. Ross explains his wet pants. And Patrick confirms that he is, in fact, a horrible husband.

Haunted-Master