Drs. Katie and David Hauser talk about relationships and how to
gain closer connections within your current relationships and new relationships. They discuss how the best place to engage and attract others has far more to do with how you use your listening and observation skills as much as it has anything to do with what you are sharing of yourself. They go on to identify that mental and emotional health is not about the absence of suffering or hardship, but that when you surround yourself with healthy relationships, supports, and routines, you are so much stronger and more powerful to cope with the inevitable suffering and hardship that is part of life at times. They also discuss how healthy relationships and deepening connections with yourself and others is as powerful a phenomenon as anything in the world if trying to emotionally heal from past hurt.
David discusses how useful it is to discover your own core
needs as you get to know yourself, as knowing your own needs helps you better seek out the right relationships for you (3 minutes into show). The more you share with others (who are safe to share with), the closer and more connected you will feel with them (8:17). They introduce a very useful quote and concept from Mr. Rogers (Fred Rogers) on the importance of being present as a primary means of connecting with others (16 min). Katie and David discuss a tricky dynamic for many in middle adult life is how different a paradigm of what it means to be successful at work versus what it means to be successful in relationships, and how each have almost entirely different rules for success (24:39). They discuss how useful something as straightforward as using compliments more intentionally can be so helpful in growing closer with others (29:08). They go on to discuss “witness and validate” as very useful strategy in long term relationships
creating communication habits so that your partner feels seen and heard (34:10). They discuss more often than not- providing others “the fix” for their problems is not really what they need or are looking for, whereas, listening, validating, and being present with the other is what we crave the most (39:25). Lastly they explore the powerful nature of healthy relationships being able to heal our past relationship hurts (43:01).
