The things we do at Christmas—the ways we celebrate, the symbols we revere, the expectations we try to meet, even the date itself—come from a hodge-podge of places, from Constantine to Nordic folklore to good advertising. This episode is dedicated to those who think there is a "war on Christmas."

Cocktail: Hot Buttered Rum

Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.