On this episode of the Power House, I have Laura Jack on to talk about how to say the right things when the wrong thing happens. She is the author of the Compassion Code, a book that teaches compassionate communication and how we can relate to one another more effectively during challenging moments. Her life mission is to cultivate a culture of compassion starting with herself and to create a better understanding of loss and its accompanying grief.

 

When describing grief, Laura has to say it twice to make sure it really sinks in. Grief is the conflicting feelings that come at the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior. Notice she didn’t say the awful and terrible feelings—but the conflicting feelings. It’s not just feeling devastated, but when we’re relieved as well. Grief is an experience we have as humans and it doesn’t make any of us bad or wrong. It’s what makes us human. Recognizing these conflicting feelings in ourselves not only helps us find compassion for others, but also compassion for ourselves.

 

Laura wants you to know that it’s okay to lay on the ground or a while after you fall off a horse. It’s okay to reach for a hand when getting up. But make sure that you listen inwards. Something that can help you do that is the Grief Recovery Handbook, which Laura can’t recommend enough.

 

We’re not in control of everything that happens to us. And time doesn’t heal all wounds. Time gives you distance and space to start taking actions to heal. If you need help taking baby steps, feeling okay with little “F-it” points where you break down and seek out change, I highly recommend you visit Laura’s website LauraJack.com and check out The Compassion Code.