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Having friends of different ages (Oliver, Age 11)
Hi there,
Look at any group of kids who are about the same age. The differences are striking in both height and maturity.
In this week’s episode of the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast, Oliver wants to know if it’s okay for him to have friends who are in different grades. Of course it is, but listen to hear how I explain why that’s true.
Did you have friends who were older or younger than you when you were growing up?
Please consider becoming a paid subscriber to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents! You’ll get a monthly coupon for $20 off the featured webinar as well as extra posts plus the full archive. Your support also helps keep the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast free for everyone!
Warm wishes,
Dr. Eileen
P.S. Scroll down for an easy-to-read podcast TRANSCRIPT, DISCUSSION QUESTIONS, and how to submit YOUR CHILD’S QUESTION.
P.P.S. Check out this month’s featured online workshop for parents: Kid Conflicts: How Parents Can Help.
LEARN MORE HERE
You might also like these podcast episodes:Ep. 67 - Choosing good friends (Paul, Age 12)
Ep. 102 - How to express your feelings with friends (Aida, age 5)
Ep. 96: Dealing with a bossy friend (Grace, age 9)
Do you love the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast?Here are three ways you can support it:
Send in your child’s question!!!
Post a review on the Apple Podcasts app or your favorite podcast platform.
Become a paid subscriber to help keep the podcast free for everyone. (You’ll get $20 off an online workshop each month plus additional posts for parents.)
Use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:
their FIRST NAME (or another first name),
their AGE, and
a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)
Submit the audio file at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit. I’ll answer as many questions as I can. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)
Send in YOUR kid's question
Think-About-It Questions to discuss with your childFor a quick and easy FRIENDSHIP LESSON, play the podcast up to the end of the kid’s question, then ask your child/students what advice they’d give. Play my answer, then use the discussion questions below to deepen your child’s/students’ understanding.
Have you ever had a friend who was in an older or younger grade than you? How did you meet and become friends?
What do you think are the main characteristics of a good friend?
Have you ever had a rough spot with a friend? What happened? Were you able to continue the friendship? Why or why not?
Dr. Friendtastic says, “Kindness is the key to friendship.” What does that mean?
Do you have a dog or know a dog? How old is it?
People often describe a dog’s age in dog years, which are a way of saying how old they would be if they were human. The old formula was that every year of a dog’s life is equal to 7 years of a human’s life. So a dog who was born a year ago would be seven-years old in dog years, and a dog who was born two years ago would be fourteen-years old in dog years.
But now, there’s a more complicated but also more accurate system for calculating dog years. The first year of a dog’s life is equal to 15 years or a human’s life, the second year equals 9 human years, and each year after that is equal to 4 or 5 human years. So a dog who was born a year ago is a teenager–15 dog years! A dog who was born two years ago is a grow-up–24 dog years. And, a dog who was born three years ago is 28 or 29 in dog years. These numbers can also be adjusted depending on the breed of the dog. Bigger dogs may age faster than littler dogs after they mature.
In humans, age can also be kind of complicated. For example, there are some ten-year-olds who are very mature and may seem like a twelve-year old. There are also some ten-year-olds who act like six-year-olds.
Listen to hear about how age relates to friendship.
(Music & Intro)
Hi there! I’m Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I’m an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ. Each week, on the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast, I answer a question from a kid about making and keeping friends.
If you have a question you’d like me to answer, you can send it in at DrFriendtastic.com/submit.
Let’s listen to today’s question:
My name’s Oliver, and I’m 11 years old. And my question about friendship’s if it’s still good to have a friendship even if you’re in different grades than each other.
Hi, Oliver! Thanks for sending in your question. Often kids have friends who are the same grade or age as they are. That makes sense because they may spend more time together, or they may have more in common.
But let’s back up a moment and think about what we mean by friendship. Friendship is about mutual caring: you like them, and they like you. Friends spend time together and enjoy each other’s company. Friends can trust each other and count on each other for support.
No one is perfect, so every friendship has rough spots. There will be mistakes and misunderstandings. Friends might feel hurt or jealous or angry with each other. But good friends will figure out ways to get past those rough spots by explaining or listening or compromising…or forgiving each other and trying again.
Wow, that’s a lot about friendship. But you know what I didn’t mention? Age or grade in school. Because if the caring and the fun and the trust and support and handling rough spots are all there, nothing else matters. Not age or race or religion or family background…
Kindness is the key to friendship. If you feel good when you spend time with your friends in different grades, and they feel good when they spend time with you, those sound like great friendships! Go ahead and enjoy them!
This has been Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic. You can learn even more about friendship through my funny and practical books for kids: Growing Friendships: A Kids’ Guide to Making and Keeping Friends and Growing Feelings: A Kids’ Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They’re available through your library or wherever you buy books.
Parents, check out my online workshops for kids at workshops.eileenkennedymoore.com.
Never miss a post! Subscribe NOW!
The Dr. Friendtastic for Parents newsletter and the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast are for educational purposes only. They may or may not be relevant for your particular situation. I trust you to use your judgment about what’s right for your child and your family.
View all episodes
By Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhDHi there,
Look at any group of kids who are about the same age. The differences are striking in both height and maturity.
In this week’s episode of the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast, Oliver wants to know if it’s okay for him to have friends who are in different grades. Of course it is, but listen to hear how I explain why that’s true.
Did you have friends who were older or younger than you when you were growing up?
Please consider becoming a paid subscriber to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents! You’ll get a monthly coupon for $20 off the featured webinar as well as extra posts plus the full archive. Your support also helps keep the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast free for everyone!
Warm wishes,
Dr. Eileen
P.S. Scroll down for an easy-to-read podcast TRANSCRIPT, DISCUSSION QUESTIONS, and how to submit YOUR CHILD’S QUESTION.
P.P.S. Check out this month’s featured online workshop for parents: Kid Conflicts: How Parents Can Help.
LEARN MORE HERE
You might also like these podcast episodes:Ep. 67 - Choosing good friends (Paul, Age 12)
Ep. 102 - How to express your feelings with friends (Aida, age 5)
Ep. 96: Dealing with a bossy friend (Grace, age 9)
Do you love the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast?Here are three ways you can support it:
Send in your child’s question!!!
Post a review on the Apple Podcasts app or your favorite podcast platform.
Become a paid subscriber to help keep the podcast free for everyone. (You’ll get $20 off an online workshop each month plus additional posts for parents.)
Use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:
their FIRST NAME (or another first name),
their AGE, and
a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)
Submit the audio file at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit. I’ll answer as many questions as I can. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)
Send in YOUR kid's question
Think-About-It Questions to discuss with your childFor a quick and easy FRIENDSHIP LESSON, play the podcast up to the end of the kid’s question, then ask your child/students what advice they’d give. Play my answer, then use the discussion questions below to deepen your child’s/students’ understanding.
Have you ever had a friend who was in an older or younger grade than you? How did you meet and become friends?
What do you think are the main characteristics of a good friend?
Have you ever had a rough spot with a friend? What happened? Were you able to continue the friendship? Why or why not?
Dr. Friendtastic says, “Kindness is the key to friendship.” What does that mean?
Do you have a dog or know a dog? How old is it?
People often describe a dog’s age in dog years, which are a way of saying how old they would be if they were human. The old formula was that every year of a dog’s life is equal to 7 years of a human’s life. So a dog who was born a year ago would be seven-years old in dog years, and a dog who was born two years ago would be fourteen-years old in dog years.
But now, there’s a more complicated but also more accurate system for calculating dog years. The first year of a dog’s life is equal to 15 years or a human’s life, the second year equals 9 human years, and each year after that is equal to 4 or 5 human years. So a dog who was born a year ago is a teenager–15 dog years! A dog who was born two years ago is a grow-up–24 dog years. And, a dog who was born three years ago is 28 or 29 in dog years. These numbers can also be adjusted depending on the breed of the dog. Bigger dogs may age faster than littler dogs after they mature.
In humans, age can also be kind of complicated. For example, there are some ten-year-olds who are very mature and may seem like a twelve-year old. There are also some ten-year-olds who act like six-year-olds.
Listen to hear about how age relates to friendship.
(Music & Intro)
Hi there! I’m Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I’m an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ. Each week, on the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast, I answer a question from a kid about making and keeping friends.
If you have a question you’d like me to answer, you can send it in at DrFriendtastic.com/submit.
Let’s listen to today’s question:
My name’s Oliver, and I’m 11 years old. And my question about friendship’s if it’s still good to have a friendship even if you’re in different grades than each other.
Hi, Oliver! Thanks for sending in your question. Often kids have friends who are the same grade or age as they are. That makes sense because they may spend more time together, or they may have more in common.
But let’s back up a moment and think about what we mean by friendship. Friendship is about mutual caring: you like them, and they like you. Friends spend time together and enjoy each other’s company. Friends can trust each other and count on each other for support.
No one is perfect, so every friendship has rough spots. There will be mistakes and misunderstandings. Friends might feel hurt or jealous or angry with each other. But good friends will figure out ways to get past those rough spots by explaining or listening or compromising…or forgiving each other and trying again.
Wow, that’s a lot about friendship. But you know what I didn’t mention? Age or grade in school. Because if the caring and the fun and the trust and support and handling rough spots are all there, nothing else matters. Not age or race or religion or family background…
Kindness is the key to friendship. If you feel good when you spend time with your friends in different grades, and they feel good when they spend time with you, those sound like great friendships! Go ahead and enjoy them!
This has been Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic. You can learn even more about friendship through my funny and practical books for kids: Growing Friendships: A Kids’ Guide to Making and Keeping Friends and Growing Feelings: A Kids’ Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They’re available through your library or wherever you buy books.
Parents, check out my online workshops for kids at workshops.eileenkennedymoore.com.
Never miss a post! Subscribe NOW!
The Dr. Friendtastic for Parents newsletter and the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast are for educational purposes only. They may or may not be relevant for your particular situation. I trust you to use your judgment about what’s right for your child and your family.