In this visceral podcast about body image, social critique, and self-acceptance, Courtney Fuller takes the listener on a journey across her body’s map to the center where she experienced love, loss, illness, birth, and identity re-birth. Courtney details the personal impact that years of social media had on the negative construction of her own self-image. After giving birth and describing the change to her body, Courtney states, “…there’s the great part of having these new little ones in your life and there’s the other part of losing a part of your self and changing your identity…”. After a class prompt when students were asked, “Is there any part of your body that you really identify with?”, Courtney was moved to create a poem and image (see insert) she entitled, The Center of the Map. The statement Courtney asks us to consider, “Really think about your body’s story…rather than trying to copy and paste yourself…Each body tells its own story”. Suggestions include being aware of what you say to others (e.g., not complementing someone who has lost weight) including comments on social media, and practicing mindfulness.
The Center of the Map
Smooth, pale skin marked heavily by freckles and moles,
my mother calls them “beauty marks.”
Well, I must be beautiful because
you can play connect the dots for miles
across the landscape of my body.
A particular one, right next to my belly button,
sits as a plot point on the map of my life.
It stands out in bold font, like the capital city—
the dot that marks the spot where my journey begins.
As a child, belly baby soft, ballet pink,
belly cradled in warmth,
my insides supple and open,
my body pushing the boundaries as all children do.
I heed my mother’s advice to “pull in my belly.”
I practice making the shapes of hills and valleys,
concave and convex shapes in the mirror,
shapes controlling how my insides tuck neatly into my ribcage
or burst out into space.
As others feed me compliments on my sleek torso,
I fill it with diet pills—supplementing
an emptiness that extends to points beyond my middle.
but I am lean, embracing this journey to thin,
and I hold it all in tight.
I even add another landmark