What is a Healthy Relationship?

• The easy answer is that it looks different for every couple. However, I realized a long time ago that if we didn't grow up with parents who had wonderful ways of relating to one another, that there was virtually nowhere else to turn to find a healthy couple to learn from. 
• This leaves the ways that happy and healthy couples relate as secrets that many of us don't get to experience. 

Where This Comes From

The following principles are a combination of three lines of research on relationships. 

• The first is from something called relationship "minding", which was developed by Harvey and Omarzu (2011). 
• The second is from the Gottman Institutewhich studies how couples communicate and interact in positive and negative ways. 
• The third is from current attachment research from Will Meek Phd

 

But First  Unhealthy Relationships

• verbal and emotional abuse (name-calling, intimidation, threats, shaming, belittling);
• Financial abuse
• patterns of control and isolation; 
• violence of any kind; 
• violation of boundaries; 
• and emotional manipulation. 

If you are experiencing things like this in any of your relationships, I would suggest getting help right away to address it.

• Also think about a variety of relationships in your life
• a close friend, 
• your partner, 
• your ex, 
• a family relationship, 
• or others. 

Each point will work out differently depending on the relationship, and each may also reveal an area for improvement. 

Also remember that no one can do these perfectly all the time, and most relationships have issues in some dimensions.

 

8 Keys to Healthy Relationships

1. Taking Interest
2. Acceptance & Respect
3. Positive Regard
4. Meeting Basic Needs
5. Positive Interactions
6. Solve Problems
7. Rupture & Repair
8. Reciprocity