Joyfully Married After

Last week, Heath told you What A Man Wants! This week, Tracy is telling you What A Wife Wants!

Tracy breaks it down to 5 main points: 

1. Talk To Me - I need conversation. Open your mouth. "Was the dinner good? Do I look good today?" Converse with your significant other; force yourself if you have to. 
2. I Need Some Affection - What really does it for her. What are her love languages. Acts of Service are Tracy's (Gas in the car, Dishes done, Flowers) Show her the love.
3. Be Open And Honest - No Trust, No Peace. Women don't want a liar, share what's going on.
4. Understanding & Respect -  Getting to know her. She is doing a lot. Working, teaching, cooking, she’d tired. Make her bed, Spray lavender on pillow. Empathize, don’t criticize.
5. Support - Your wife needs support both financially and emotionally. How are you contributing to the relationship? Give her a break sometimes; pick up the baby, change a diaper, pour her a bubble bath, take her to see her family.

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Heath is bringing the TRUTH on today's episode of Joyfully Married After. 

We are talking What A Husband Wants! 

1. RESPECT in his house. Can’t dog out your husband in front of ppl. Working, being kind, father, providing as best as possible. If he is being a many worthy of respect...then give him some RESPECT!
2. INTIMACY on the regular. Sometimes other things get in the way. Kids, sports practice, tv shows, jobs, you get tired. Don’t want to be irritating to your wife. The ask, convey to me when you’re feeling amorous. Initiate ladies. 
3. COMPLIMENT him. “You look great today!” "I love the outfit!" "Your beard is soft!" If I’m doing the dishes, taking out the trash, counseling the children, let me know you see it and you appreciate. Let me know you’re glad you married me.

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How do you know you've found THE ONE???

On today's episode, Heath and Tracy share the 5 things that solidified them know that they were each others THE ONE.

Tracy's 5 Things:

1. Heath pursued me.
2. I felt secure and myself around Heath.
3. Heath made me laugh and made our relationship FUN.
4. We could talk on the phone for hours without getting bored of one another.
5. Heath's female friends had so much respect and love for him that I knew he was a keeper.

Heath's 5 Things:

1. Tracy was so easy to have conversation with.
2. No drama!
3. I have always found Tracy visually appealing and still do.
4. I couldn't find anything I didn't like.
5. Tracy had a class about her and the way she carried herself was very attractive to me.

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Is There Too Much Emphasis on the Wedding?

Tracy and I explore people's reasons not to have a wedding, especially for budget newlyweds when the marriage is SO much more important than the wedding itself.
People delay marriage unnecessarily and end up asking themselves, is it worth spending money on a wedding? Is it worth it to have a wedding? Are weddings overrated? Should we have a small wedding? Since we are budget newlyweds, should we have a budget wedding? Some of the research we did for this article shows that small weddings are best for longevity in marriage.
We were surprised when we saw this and maybe that means there are reasons to elope so you don't have to say, I spent too much on my wedding. We outline several solid alternatives for getting married sooner, not putting so much emphasis on the perfect wedding and maybe revisiting it down the road.

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1. Show Interest.

2. Touch your spouse. 

3. Tell a joke 

4. Cleaning it up(for the married people) unmarried people- do small things. 

5. Turn Down the bed for each other 

6. Wear something special. Their favorite dress, shirt, pants, color. Etc. 

7. Snuggle, while you are watching tv, or touching at the table in a restaurant under the table. 8. Talk, Talk, Talk Women use 1000’s words more than men. 

9. Compliment them. “You smell good”, Your beard is soft. Etc. Your hair looks good. That meal was good. I am so happy you have helped the kids. 

10. Send a great text. Let them know you are thinking of them. Handwritten notes work too. 11. Holding hands. 

12.Kiss when you say hello and when you say goodbye. It’s a special salutation. 

13. Look into each other's eyes. 

Don't take them for granted.

 Make it a habit 21 days makes a habit 

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Legacy Living Worksheet here: https://bit.ly/legacylivingworksheet

Thanks for listening!

We’ve got 10 things we wish we knew before we got married.
 Why?
 How you will feel after you hear this... 

1. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. 

2. Marriage success comes from repetition. You practice being married every day. Am I practicing marriage or practicing divorce dating 

3. Deprioritizing everything over your marriage. Work kids family 

4. Always act like you are 35 - lots of people you can model. Ask people that have experience. Take their best practices and use them. Keep that young energy. Date night flirting 

5. Marriage is about the other person and it’s a daily dying of self. It’s a daily practice of working the selfish out. When that happens you will submit to one another. 

6. Plan to be married forever. Don’t stay if there is abuse, mental physical 

7. Never sacrifice your spouse's feelings for the benefit of your family or others. Make your partner feel protected and that you have their back

 8. Celebrate your partner's differences. Yin Yang. Don’t pick at them recognize they are enhancing your weakness 

9. Do put off doing don’t nice things. Continually the love bank. Don’t expect anything back 

10. The magic happens in the failures 

How to Repair Broken Trust 

In any relationship trust in one another is key. A key component that threatens trust is fear. 

Social media Story- Talking to someone on SM about things that you are afraid to talk to your partner about. 

Give Examples. Give Subject matter 

How you feel about what’s going on at work Their appearance
 You need more attention that you are getting 

This action unknowingly break the trust that was built up over the years. 

Then avoidance and shame
 avoiding the consequences and confrontation. 

This is a great analogy for primary or spousal relationships too. 

1. Be open to keeping the trust. The person who was lied to gets a pass to ask any questions, check the phone, check whatever at anytime. This seems invasive at first but will minimize naturally with time. The person that lost trust needs to let this happen without getting in your feelings or retaliating. 

2. Discuss items that bother you or that you’re concerned with. Bring why you are suspicious and what the person can do to alleviate your fear. 

3. Talk through issues even if you’re scared or uncomfortable; you’ll be so glad you did. Do this when there is no emotion involved. During basic tasks, cooking, running errands. Or just sitting down with a glass of wine or over dinner to talk thru it. Not being up and throwing in the other's face but talking thru the issue openly to take trust to the next step. Ask questions and answer them openly and without hesitation. 

4. Get help. A coach, a professional, to walk through it with you if necessary.
 5. Meet things head-on and never hide from the challenges. If you’ve already gone down the wrong road, stop. 

Admit you are wrong and work through it. You can do it. You can push through. 

What would your relationship be like if it was perfect?

Myth #1: Perfect relationship partners are totally compatible.
Myth #2: Perfect relationship partners have “equal appetites.”
Myth #3: Great partners always put their relationship first.
Myth #4: Great partners are never attracted to anyone else.
Myth #5: Perfect relationships do not have serious conflicts.
Myth #6: Perfect relationship partners are always “on the same team.”

We are discussing how couples have different ways of being married.

The secret to a great marriage is deciding what you want your marriage to be about – and don't just give me that gauzy, dreamy poetry about love. Be practical. Be specific.

Starter Marriage
Companionship Marriage
Parenting Marriage
Safety Marriage
Living alone together Marriage
Open Marriage
Covenant Marriage


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Listen up! There are things that you are doing that are ruining your relationship. We give you the ones you need to stop.
We are discussing 7 ways you are sabotaging your relationship or Self Sabotaging relationships. We also discuss ways to stop sabotaging relationships. So ask yourself " Am I Sabotaging My Relationship?" And What are the Behaviors that Ruin Relationships?

Are You ignoring your partner's interests or do you say thank you for the small things?

Listen to find out what you are doing that can kill the love in your relationship.


Join Us Live Every Monday for Joyfully Married After Podcast Live!

heathandtracy.com to join the Marriage Money Mindset Community.