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True or False: Once she leaves the relationship, the abuse will stop.

If you've been following me for a while, you probably know the answer to this one. It's, of course, 100% false. But unfortunately, a lot of people think this way when it comes to abusive relationships (I was one of those people too).

Yes, leaving an abusive relationship is an important step but there are many other steps that come both before and after that. One of them is understanding the kind of post-separation abuse you and your kids will likely be subject to.

So how do we know what the post-separation abuse will look like?

We look at the pre-separation abuse.

This week, in the silver position and #2 on our Listener's Choice Countdown is episode 39 originally aired March 14, 2023 called How an Abusive Relationship Works & Why Knowing is Crucial to your High-Conflict Divorce.  

If you like what you heard, why not share the episode with someone you love.

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You've just started dating someone and you're smitten.

Long conversations, extravagant dates, over-the-top gestures, expensive gifts, constant 'checking in', talks of moving in together after only a few weeks... 

Could be a true connection with a potential life partner. Or, it could be a predator using love bombing tactics as a trap.

So how do you know which one it is? On this week's episode I have 3 ways to help you tell.  Take a listen and if you like what you hear, please share with a friend so we can spread the word.

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Download my free guide
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Follow me on TikTok, IG, FB & LinkedIn

Communication. This topic might be the #1 thing I'm asked about by clients as a high-conflict divorce coach.

And as I dig deeper on the things that clients find the most challenging when it comes to communication, it all seems to break down into two main goals: (1) decreasing their reactivity to toxic communication from their co-parent and (2) learning how to craft effective communication that doesn't contribute to the conflict. 

Achieving these goals is relatively straight forward although not always easy.

Step 1 is understanding exactly who you're dealing with (i.e. what makes them tick).
Step 2  is developing realistic expectations around your co-parenting relationship (yes, it's going to look different).
Step 3 is learning a framework to use for all communication (which takes the guesswork out of it).
 
And that's what this week's Listener's Choice episode is about. In at #5 on our countdown is episode 29 from January 3, 2023 called How To Protect Your Peace While Communicating With Your High-Conflict Co-Parent .

This 16-minute episode is well-worth the listen.  If you prefer to read the transcript, you can find it on my website here.

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I had someone ask me a while back, ‘Sheryl, if you knew what you know now, would you still have gone through your divorce?’

I’ve been asked many versions of this question before, but I liked this one because it got me thinking about what I’ve learned. And when I learn stuff, I love sharing it with you.

When I reflected on the question, this is what I concluded: despite all the challenges (and there are many), my answer was an unequivocal yes. That said, if I had to do it all over again, there are definitely things that I would do differently and that is what inspired me to write this episode.

So let’s get to it.

In at #6 this week, is the episode from November 29, 2022 called ‘7 Things I Wish I Knew Before My High Conflict Divorce’. 

Not only is this episode in the top 10 of season one, it also holds the #1 spot for first-day downloads! It’s a good one so let’s get on with it.

I'd also love to hear what you've learned so if you've got something to add, send me a DM on social or shoot me an email at [email protected]. 

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We're at #7 this week on our Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast Listener's Choice Countdown!

Do you ever find yourself spinning your wheels not being able to figure out where to start on your journey to being a healthy mom after divorce?

Maybe looking after your health is just not happening. Or your co-parent is filling your kids' heads with lies about you. Or perhaps you find yourself coveting non-divorced families.

Don't worry... I did too. It's very natural... but it's also entirely useless and a giant waste of energy.

On the latest episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce podcast, I share 5 divorced mom truths, why they are crucial to accept in order to move forward and what a neglected flower has to do with being a divorced mom.

Find the full transcript at healthymomafterdivorce.com/16.

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Welcome back to the Healthy Mom After Divorce Listener's Choice Countdown! We are #8 this week.

On this episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I share 3 hard truths about co-parenting, tell you why I'm so selective of the tv shows and movies I watch and talk about just how much is in our control to shape our kids' lives even if they're only with us half the time.

Find the full transcript at healthymomafterdivorce.com/33.

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We're at #9 this week on the Healthy Mom After Divorce Listener's Choice Countdown for season 1!

The smear campaign…

Anyone who is going through or has been through a high-conflict divorce knows exactly what this is. A high-conflict ex is going around spreading lies about you to anyone who will listen in order to (unfairly) paint you as the villain.

And maybe it isn’t just them. Maybe they even have their family or new partner doing it too.

When this happens, I know how hard it can be. The anger and the hurt at the sheer injustice of it all can be debilitating and all consuming.

On top of that, you are fighting the impulse to defend yourself. And although this is totally normal, it may end up making it worse.

So what do you do instead?

On this 31st episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I talk why it happens, how we all justify our behaviour (good or bad) and what we can do to be healthy moms to our kids despite it all.

Find the full transcript at healthymomafterdivorce.com/31

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Protecting vs. preparing. What's your instinct when it comes to your kids?

If you're like me, your instinct is to try and protect your kids from all of life's hardships, especially when it comes to their parent's divorce.

They're grappling with two, homes, conflict between their parents, shuttling back and forth, missing those they love, confusion, feelings of responsibility for things they don't control...

Our kids face a lot. And we'd like to be able to protect them from all of it, but of course we know that isn't possible. But even if it was, would it actually be best for them?

That's what this episode is all about. This week at #10 on our Listener's Choice Countdown is episode 9 from August 16, 2022 where I talk about the challenges our kids face with divorce, what we can do about it and why protecting them is not always the best option.

Find the transcript for this episode at healthymomafterdivorce.com/9.

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