I have always been good at disappearing because it was my of healing. It was never a weakness but when life got too loud, I would go silent. It was my way to coup with what was thrown at me. Having many thoughts, questions and heavy feelings it would become hard to explain my circumstances. Sometimes it would be overwhelming to share, because I always thought I spoke too much or always got on everyones nerves. So I figured what was the point, even now dealing with all the health problems I am dealing with. How would I explain that? Where do I begin to even understand what is happening or try to coup with it? I wish this nightmare was over and I could wake up from this very bad dream, but it’s the reality I am living.  A reality I didn’t choose or cause, it was given, but why? Nobody has heard from me for months is trying to explain to someone your situation that only goes over their head. No one will ever understand the situation I have been going through the last three years.