By Host : Andy Wiegand
The Heart of a Friend podcast was born out of a desire to share some of the most important things learned from a lifetime of experience. It is hosted by Andy Wiegand. Andy retired in 2017 after 40
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The podcast currently has 51 episodes available.
Highlights: How NOT to Read the Bible (Episode 50)
The road to atheism is littered with Bibles that have been read cover to cover.
To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click “I agree.”
Never Read a Bible
Verse By lifting verses out of context, they can easily be misunderstood. The story-line of the Bible must be understood so that we can see where the verse/passage/book fits into the larger over-arching story.
We need to enter their world to hear the words as the original audience would have heard them and as the author would've meant them to be understood…If we don’t the possibilities for confusion are endless.
Stranger Things
The surrounding people groups who worship other gods and goddesses practiced all kinds of evil things…God did not want Israel to become like them, so he had Moses write down loving guidelines…to keep them distinct from other nations.
God didn’t create the institution of slavery. Slavery was man-made and was everywhere in the ancient world. The Old Testament rules established unique protections for slaves. Slaves were treated much better in ancient Israel than in surrounding cultures.
Boys’ Club Christianity
When we read what Jesus did with regard to women, it should be recognized as countercultural, highly shocking, and extremely challenging to the religious leaders of his day. We see Jesus striving to change the culture he lived in through the way he treated women – with respect, dignity, and equality.
The Bible verses that at first sound misogynistic and chauvinistic have explanations.
Misunderstandings are due to not looking at the specific situations and unique culture of that time period.
Do We Have to Choose Between Science and the Bible?
The Bible teaches us how to go to heaven, not how the heavens go. (Galileo)
So many of the debates within Christianity, as well as the mocking criticism of the Bible, end up being irrelevant when we accept that God wasn't providing details to satisfy questions from our modern scientific worldview. God used what the people were aware of at that time to communicate the truth about himself and his work in creating all things.
Does Christianity Claim All Other Religions Are Wrong?
Christianity is the one world faith in which people don't have to earn their way to heaven, but it is through the work of Jesus and us putting faith in him.
The Horror of God’s Old Testament Violence
If you were carefully reading the entire Old Testament, you would not find a reactionary God who needs a class in anger management, someone who strikes out randomly, without cause. Instead, you find a God who is patient – again and again – with his people. Even in the parts where God is actively behind violence and death, it is not done without first pleading for change, giving warnings, waiting for change and showing great patience.
Jesus Loved His Crazy Bible
The Bible Project Podcast (12/06/2021) Interview with Dan Kimball
The Lost World of Genesis One, John Walton
ReGenerationProject.org
What’s On My Bookshelf?
A Review: Plagues Upon the Earth, by Kyle Harper - The Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse | Part 3 - Highlights
Coronaviruses and influenza viruses are the ones that we are currently worried about. H5N1 (a bird flu)...if it ever gets airborne...it’s got a 60% death rate. (Dr. Larry Brilliant, Harvard Magazine)
It is the advance of scientific knowledge, actualized by public policy and private behavior, that has given humans the advantage over microbial threats. Science and state-craft are the keys to the Great Escape.
Science
As of 1870, only a small Avant-garde of researchers believed that familiar diseases were caused by invisible living agents. But by 1900, for a scientist or medical professional to believe anything else was becoming ignorant.
The Hygiene Revolution - The principles of germ theory inspired renewed efforts to disinfect the personal and household environments.
The war against bugs - Insects that had once seemed a mere nuisance were now seen as vehicles with deadly payloads.
Chemical Control of Pathogens - Dysentery was still a major health problem in the developed world, and typhoid remained – until chlorination. The most important reason we can drink a glass of water today and not feel even a hint of dread is because it has been treated with chlorine.
Antibiotics - Starting in the 1940’s...Antibiotics delivered us from the long period of human history when the simplest wound was a mortal threat.
Vaccines - Small pox was a success story. So was the measles vaccine. The vaccine was licensed in the U.S. in 1963, and measles infections fell instantaneously. A disease that once caused 1 million cases a year in the United States was reduced to an annual incidence of fewer than 100. Globally, In the early 1980s, 2.5 million children died annually from the measles. By 2018, mortality has been reduced to 140,000 deaths.
Public Policy
Improvements in life expectancy are generated not by ideas alone but by ideas that are put into action, especially by capable governments that care about the heath of their citizens...The control of infectious disease, by its very nature, requires collective and coordinate action.
Investments in public water systems were among the largest, and might even have been the largest, public investments in American history and they had a larger impact on human mortality than any other public health initiative. The household toilet is a private portal into the sprawling subterranean circuitry quietly gathering our collective muck. Several times a day we sit astride a section of the largest and most expensive environmental infrastructure in the world – the vast underground systems of sewers and waste-water treatment plants that are a defining feature of the developed world.
The federal government erected an infrastructure for agricultural and veterinary science early on, and precocious American agro-science is an underrated storyline in the global emergence of germ theory and the biochemical control of infectious disease.
Paradoxically, we are in some ways more fragile than our ancestors, precisely because our societies depend on the level of security against infectious disease that may be unrealistic
We have much to learn from the experience of those who lived and died before us. It is urgent that we do so.
What’s On My Bookshelf?
A Review: Plagues Upon the Earth, by Kyle Harper
The Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse | Part 2
Highlights
We still have much to learn from the experience of those who lived and died before us. It is urgent that we do so. The long history of disease counsels us to expect the unexpected. The worst threat may be the one we cannot see coming.
Bubonic Plague (Black Death)
Three stages in history - The Justinian Plague (500’s A.D.), The Black Death (1300’s A.D.) and
Modern Era Plague (1890’s A.D.)
Almost anywhere the evidence in Europe is rich enough to form a quantitative impression, the Black Death carried off 50-60 percent of the population...the death toll is always staggeringly high. Although many a textbook still claims that the Black Death carried off a third of the continent, in reality, the best estimates are closer to half...In Europe alone, forty million or more might have been claimed by this bacterium. The plague is a killer in a class by itself
Small Pox
Endemic throughout the Eastern Hemisphere. Brought to the Americas by the conquistadors.
Major outbreaks of small pox occurred on Hispaniola and other islands in the Caribbean from the earliest days of discovery but then jumped from the Caribbean to the shores of Mexico in 1520. By the time Cortez approached the capital city of the Aztecs a year later, it had been “hollowed out” by the deadly disease. The small pox devastation continued along the trade routes to the north and to central and south America, having the same impact. Measles came alongside and made its way to the mainland continuing its decimation of those small pox hadn’t claimed.
In the 1700’s it accounted for 10-15% of all mortality in Europe.
As the practice of vaccination extended world-wide, small pox was finally eliminated entirely in 1977. It was a global triumph. To date, small pox is the first and only human pathogen that has been driven to extinction.
The Great Influenza (1918/1919)
Killed approximately 50,000,000 people.
One of the single most deadly events in global history. And it infected perhaps one in three persons alive, making it probably the single most coordinated rapid attack by a parasite in the history of the planet.
And the threat of future novel influenza strains, replaying the events of 1918 to 1919 remains one of the most dangerous lurking threats to human health.
The Great Influenza: The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History, by John Barry.
What’s On My Bookshelf?
Part 1 | A Review: Plagues Upon the Earth, by Kyle Harper
The Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse Highlights
Up to around 1700 life on earth was short and full of sorrow. Life expectancy was below 30 years. Most people died of infectious disease...around 1900 a great threshold was crossed for the the first time in the history of our species: non-infectious causes of death accounted for a greater portion of total mortality than did infectious diseases. By mid-century dying of infectious disease had become anomalous, virtually scandalous, in the developed world. The control of infectious disease is one of the unambiguously great accomplishments of our species
We do not and cannot live in a state of permanent victory over our germs. Eternal vigilance is the price of liberation from infectious disease...In short, germs evolve, and human mastery is always, therefore, incomplete.
Malaria: The deadliest of the human infectious diseases...no other affliction has exerted such influence on the species. It is “the mother of fevers,” “the king of diseases.” It continues to devastate human societies unfortunate enough to remain under its spell.
Tuberculosis: The burden of this disease on human health, in the past and present, is staggering. Today, there may be 2 billion humans latently infected, so more than a quarter of humanity could be carrying the pathogen. There are more than 10 million new cases annually, and TB still takes 1.5 million lives each year. TB may be in aggregate, the most lethal enemy our species has ever encountered.
As farming spread human numbers soared and the result has been a virtually unceasing acceleration of parasite evolution...There is universal agreement that farming was an unmitigated disaster for human health; humans sought more calories and came away with less nutritional variety, harder work, and more germs.
Which of the following did NOT contribute to the eventual improvement of life expectancy in the city?
The pandemic of 1918 to 1919 was the ultimate manifestation of a disease event in the age of steam ships and railroads. It was in absolute terms one of the single most deadly events in global history, claiming the lives of maybe 50 million victims
Modern growth has only made the challenge of controlling infectious disease greater. Urbanization, demographic expansion, modern transportation and intensified pressure on natural resources have made the ecology of infectious disease progressively more dangerous for humans.
We do not and cannot live in a state of permanent victory over our germs. Prophets have continually forewarned us that new diseases were one of the most fundamental risks we face as a species. And now, the COVID-19 pandemic makes it all too evident that their alarms were both prescient and unheeded. We were, in short, complacent...For scholars who study the past
or present of infectious disease, the pandemic was a perfectly inevitable disaster...we can never entirely escape the risk of global pandemics
What’s On My Bookshelf | Eight Ways to Make This Your Best Year Ever
4000 Weeks, by Oliver Burkeman
We’ve been granted the mental capacities to make almost infinitely ambitious plans yet practically no time at all to put them into action...Stop trying so hard...It’s ok to give up on what’s impossible in the first place.
One: Accept the limitations of a life-span that’s way too short.
The key to begin resolving this problem is to work with the facts of our finitude rather than against them. I am aware of no other time management technique that’s half as effective as just facing the way things truly are.
Two: Don’t expect greater productivity/efficiency to make the problem better.
Time feels like an unstoppable conveyor belt, bringing us new tasks as fast as we can dispatch the old ones; and becoming more productive just seems to cause the belt to speed up. Productivity is a trap. Becoming more efficient just makes you more rushed.
Three: Stand firm in the face of FOMO.
Missing out on something, indeed on almost everything, is basically guaranteed...our every decision to use a portion of time on anything represents the sacrifice of all the other ways in which you could've spent that time but didn’t.
Every choice is a renunciation. (Rolheiser)
Four: Make up your mind that it’s ok to “settle.”
When people finally do choose, in a relatively irreversible way, they're usually much happier as a result.The undodgeable reality of a finite human life is that you are going to have to choose.
Five: Practice gratitude; it’s the antidote for discontentment.
Wouldn't it make more sense to speak not of having to make such choices, but of getting to make them? Each moment of decision becomes an opportunity to select from an enticing menu of possibilities, when you might easily never have been presented with the menu to begin with.
The wealthiest person is not the one who has the most. It’s the one who is satisfied with the least. ( Chinese fortune cookie)
Six: Wherever you are, be there.
It turns out to be perilously easy to...focus exclusively on where you're headed at the expense of focusing on where you are – with the result that you find yourself living mentally in the future, locating the real value of your life at some point that you haven't yet reached and...never will.
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Enjoy every sandwich. (Warren Zevon)
Seven: Get to your highest priorities first.
Eight: Practice leisure and rest for their own sake.
In an age of instrumentalization, the hobbyist is a subversive...A good hobby probably should feel a little embarrassing. That's a sign you're doing it for its own sake rather than for some socially sanctioned outcome. It's fine and perhaps preferable to be mediocre at them. Freedom to pursue the futile. And the freedom to suck without caring.
Highlights
Ears: The Soft Power of Listening - Part 8 (Episode 45) Six Reasons We Don’t Listen and What to Do About It
Six reasons most of us don’t listen well:
1. We’ve never been taught how.
We are encouraged to listen to our hearts, and listen to our gut, but rarely are we encouraged to listen carefully and with intent to other people. ( Kate Murphy, You’re Not Listening)
Listening well is not an ability we are born with. It doesn’t get magically downloaded to us as we grow up. Unless we’re intentional about learning and practicing this new skill set we’re doomed, most likely, to relationships crippled by a shortage of understanding, empathy and love.
2. We’re always in a hurry.
Love takes time and time is the one thing that hurried people don’t have. (John Ortberg)
3. We’re too easily distracted.
Practice the discipline of silence.
Find appropriate settings for good conversation. Schedule times for private conversations.
4. We’re uncomfortable with certain emotions.
The path to more meaningful conversations may require us to step out of our own emotional comfort zone and accept some risk.
5. We have an agenda.
As soon as you lay your hands on a conversation to steer it, it's not a conversation anymore; it's a pitch. And you're not a human being; you’re a marketing rep. ( The Big Kahuna, quoted by Doug Pollack, God Space)
To the extent that we can, we should leave our agenda at the door of the conversation.
6. We’re overly self-focused.
Our first duty in any conversation is not to talk, but to listen. This is what Christ-like humility demands.
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Don’t imagine that if you ever meet a really humble man he will be what most people call “humble” nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him... He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all. (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)
To surrender the lime-light of the conversation to the other person is not only a profound act of service to them...but, paradoxically, we receive a profoundly important benefit for ourselves too.
The world is full of talkers. We don’t need more talkers, but we do need more listeners.
Highlights
Ears: The Soft Power of Listening - Part 7 (Episode 44) Miracle Grow for Relationships
Marriage
The decision to get married is weighted heavily toward what we see...is this person physically attractive to me? But the decision to stay married is weighted more toward what we hear...do I have satisfying communication with my spouse?
Thirty-six Questions that Lead to Love, (NYT January 9, 2015)
Communication Exercise - Ask: What’s the biggest thing impacting you and how are you feeling about it? (Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, Pete Scazzero)
Family Relationships
Too often we’re overly concerned with ourselves, too much so to take a moment to really understand what’s going on with someone else, and make sure they know that we understand. I often say, ‘You don’t understand people when you understand them. You understand them when they understand that you understand.’ That’s when you know you have trust...so just listen, listen, listen. (The Power of the Other, Henry Cloud)
Friendships
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. (Dale Carnegie)
Work-place Relationships
Google found out that successful teams listened to one another. Members took turns, heard one another out, and paid attention to nonverbal cues to pick up on unspoken thoughts and feelings... It created an atmosphere of so-called psychological safety, where people were more likely to share information and ideas without fear of being talked over or dismissed. (You’re Not Listening, Kate Murphy)
(Doctors who don’t get sued) were more likely to engage in active listening, saying such things as “Go on, tell me more about that,”...the difference was entirely in how they talked to their patients. ( Blink, Malcolm Gladwell)
Leadership
(Leadership in Turbulent Times, Doris Kearns Goodwin)
Listen, learn and love. (Cynt Marshall CEO - Dallas Mavericks)
There’s a constant temptation in leadership to feel like you need to know all the answers.That’s never true. In fact, the best leaders are usually not defined by the answers they give but
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by the questions they ask. The longer you’re in leadership, the more curious you should become. One tell-tale sign of a leader who has lost their edge is they ask almost no questions. Sometimes that’s because you think you know all the answers. Other times, it’s because you’ve lost interest. You’re just not curious. Both are deadly to leadership. So...next time you’re in a conversation or meeting, speak more sentences that end with a question mark than you do sentences that end with a period. (Carey Nieuwhoff)
I will present to you parts of my self...slowly, if you are patient and tender. I will open drawers that mostly stay closed and bring out places and people and things...loves and frustrations, hopes and sadnesses...bits and pieces of decades of life...They are me. If you regard them lightly, deny that they are important, judge me or fail to listen well...I will quietly...slowly...begin to wrap them up, like worn jewelry, tuck them away in my small chest of drawers...and close.”
HIghlights - Ears (Part 6, Episode 43) Persuasion Starts Here
People don’t care what we know until they know that we care.”
To listen well is the first step in caring. Persuasion begins with listening well.
Four scenarios:
1. When someone is angry
2. When you are trying to make a sale
I discovered early on that people don’t buy from me because they understand what I’m selling. They buy because they feel understood.’ Jon benefits from his natural tendency to ask a lot of questions and to listen closely to the answers. (Susan Cain, Quiet)
3. When someone has an opposing point of view
When we try to convince people to think again, our first instinct is usually to start talking. Yet the most effective way to help others open their minds is often to listen. (Adam Grant, Think Again)
4. When you would like to share about your religious faith
We could do a far better job of patiently listening. And we should not talk until we can
represent the skeptic’s viewpoint with empathy so that a skeptic friend says, ‘Yes, that is my hang up; I couldn’t have put it better myself.’ Only then should we try to...recommend the Christian faith to them. (Tim Keller, “Why We Argue Best with our Mouths Shut,” Christianity Today. May 26, 2017)
Evangelism is joining the Holy Spirit in a conversation he’s already having with someone. (Kevin Palau)
Tension drops when people feel heard. Ask questions and care about the answers. (Kevin Palau)
I’m willing to bet the farm that in our postmodern society the most important evangelistic skill is listening. (Todd Hunter, the former CEO of Alpha USA)
If you want to talk to somebody honestly, as a human being, ask him about his kids, find out what his dreams are – just to find out, for no other reason. Because as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation to steer it, it's not a conversation anymore; it's a pitch. And you're not a human being; you’re a marketing rep. End Quote
Listening well prepares the ground for persuasion. But persuasion should not be our primary reason for listening well. We listen well because we genuinely care about the other person. We listen well because people are important whether or not they buy from us, agree with our politics or theology or continue to be mad at us. People are important for their own sake, not as a means to an end. The primary reason for listening well is because we genuinely care about others.
Ears: The Soft Power of Listening - Part 5 (Episode 42) Help! I’m Hurting!
Highlights
Be kind to everyone you meet because everyone you meet is fighting a battle.
When it comes to helping the hurting...this is almost always true of our words. Less is more.
Job’s comforters did everything right for the first seven days, and so do we when we do the same three things they did.
First, show up. (90% of success is just showing up.)
Second, empathize. To the extent we can, we express our own grief at their loss.
Third, shut-up! We don’t need to say anything! Our biggest mistakes happen when we open our mouths and begin to talk. Less is more.
One key is to let the person suffering set the agenda for the conversation. Not you.
In all my years of doing this work, I’ve never found words that are as helpful and as loving as attentive silence.
Three things to do:
First: Practice good listening skills
When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. (Henri Nouwen)
Second: Find a good setting to talk.
Third: Encourage feelings to be expressed.
Three things to avoid:
First: Avoid giving advice preemptively
Second: Avoid telling your own story
Third: Avoid filling the silences with your own words
There is no music in a rest, but there’s the making of music in it. True listening requires a setting aside of oneself
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When the people come here it's like they are going to a field hospital," father Gomez said. "They so badly need to be heard, it's like a wound; they’re in a critical state. I’ve begun to think there’s a crisis of listening in our world. There are a lot of people who want to talk but very few who want to listen, and we are seeing people suffer from it. I just let the people talk. At the very end, they say how nice it was to talk, but I didn’t talk. I think it’s just making yourself available to listen to the people; that’s what they are starved for. ( from You’re Not Listening, Kate Murphy)
Ears: The Soft Power of Listening - Part 4 (Episode 41) Seven Habits of Highly Effective Listeners (Continued) HIghlights
Listening well means to pay careful attention to what’s being said in a way that encourages people to continue to share even more of their story
The fourth habit of highly effective listeners: Don’t use your own stories to compete with others.
Don’t equate your experience with theirs. If they're talking about having lost a family member, don't start talking about the time you lost a family member. If they're talking about the trouble they're having at work, don’t tell them about how much you hate your job. It’s not the same. It is never the same. All experiences are individual. And, more importantly, it is not about you. You don't need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you've suffered. (Celeste Headley - TED talk)
The fifth habit of highly effective listeners: Maintain good eye contact.
The sixth habit of highly effective listeners: Pay attention to your own non- verbal messages.
Almost all studies agree that 70-90% of all communication is non-verbal! We say more with our eyes, our facial expressions, our hands and our posture than we ever say with our words.
The seventh habit of highly effective listeners: Value periods of silence.
To be a good listener is to accept pauses and silences because filling them too soon prevents the speaker from communicating what they are perhaps struggling to say. It quashes elaboration and prevents real issues from coming to the surface. Just wait. Give the other person a chance to pick up where they left off. (Kate Murphy, You’re Not Listening)
To how many of these can you say, “Yes?” Let’s review:
The podcast currently has 51 episodes available.