Heart to Heart: Faith Seasons Podcast

Today's Season of Joy reflection on Acts 9:1-20 is by Terry O'Connell.

Terry has been happily married to his wife Cindy for 44 years. They have 3 children and 3 grand children. He’s a retired senior executive who worked for Time Warner Cable for 30 years. His hobbies include golf (which he enjoys most often), fishing (which he seldom does) and reading. 

from Acts 9:1-20
He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him,
“Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?”
He said, “Who are you, sir?”
The reply came, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.
Now get up and go into the city and you will be told what you must do.”

Read the full scripture passage: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/050622.cfm

As we just heard in the reading from The Acts of the Apostles, it's about a man named Saul whose job it was to locate the followers of Jesus, place them in chains, and imprison them.

Clearly Saul was a very bad man.

One day Jesus came to Saul instructing him to go to Damascus and await instructions. He did as he was told. Jesus told one of his disciples in Damascus, "Do as I ask." saying, "This man Saul is a chosen instrument of mine."

Those are the words that really hit home with me. If God could choose a sinner like Saul, he truly is all about forgiveness and giving second chances.

Here is my story.

Ten years ago my family and I found a small, relatively new, nonprofit charity in Columbus, Ohio, called Star House. Their mission was to care for homeless youth ages 14 to 24. I had no idea our city—or any city—had a homeless youth problem, much less with people that young.

I knew right away Star House needed help, and I had the time since I had recently retired from my job. Jesus was already talking to me, but I didn't realize yet what was taking place in my life. Nevertheless, his message was clear. This was to become my new calling in retirement.

These young homeless people were the forgotten ones on our streets. These kids were alone and completely without love of any kind in their lives.

Just imagine.

Star house needed a larger building which would allow the needed growth to expand its mission and reach many more of these at-risk young people. This is a story of how my eyes were opened, and when I heard God talking to me, guiding me every step of the way, even though I could not see him nor could I hear his spoken words.

I found a larger building which needed a complete renovation. The building was valued at $600,000 with the renovation costing another $1.4 million dollars. I had no money for this project, not one cent; nor did I have any experience raising money for charities.

By the time I signed the purchase agreement, I had $10,000 in the bank from a friend. I needed to find another $590,000 by the closing, in just three short months. I began praying, hard.

At the closing, in 90 days I had raised the money, and was able to write a check for the full amount. I was overcome with emotion. I began to realize there was a higher power at work in this project. This wasn't my project but God's.

Like Saul, God had chosen me—of all people—to be his instrument. I now had to raise another $1.4 million for the renovation of the building. It was a daunting task. 

How would I ever find that much money? ...

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Today's Season of Joy reflection on Acts 8:26-40 is by Fr. Michael Rossman, SJ.

Fr. Michael is a Jesuit priest currently working on a doctorate at the Gregorian University in Rome. He is a native of Iowa and a graduate of Notre Dame, Loyola Chicago, and Boston College. He shares a video each week at amdg.substack.com.

from Acts 8:26-40
Then the eunuch said to Philip in reply,
“I beg you, about whom is the prophet saying this?
About himself, or about someone else?”
Then Philip opened his mouth and, beginning with this Scripture passage,
he proclaimed Jesus to him.

To read the full scripture passage, please visit: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/050522.cfm

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Today’s Season of Joy reflection on John 6:35-40 is by Neal Tew.

Neal Tew is a husband and father living in Cincinnati, OH. He has a BA in English from Harvard College and a Masters in Philosophy from Catholic University. He spent three years living in a monastery and wrote a book about the experience. Today he runs Brandstrength, a communications firm.

from John 6:35-40
Jesus said to the crowds,
"I am the bread of life;
whoever comes to me will never hunger,
and whoever believes in me will never thirst.
But I told you that although you have seen me,
you do not believe.

Read the full scripture passage: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/042623.cfm

So we are in the long discourse of Jesus in the 6th Chapter of John’s Gospel. Jesus has multiplied the bread and the fish, he has fed 5,000 people with food left over. He has appeared to his disciples at night, in the midst of a storm, walking on the water. He has uttered, in his own voice, the divine name to his astonished apostles – “I AM, do not be afraid.” And now he speaks to the crowd that has come to Capernaum searching for him.

We are approaching the mid-point of this great discourse on the miracle of the multiplied bread. I want to explore this theme of bread. What did Jesus want his audience to understand and what might he wish for us to hear anew today? 

In our opening verse today, Jesus says to the people, “I am the bread of life.” In saying so, he is ascribing to himself a meaning he has just excavated from an Old Testament story. He has said that the manna described in the book of Exodus was not bread from Moses, but it was the bread from heaven, given by the Father. It was the bread of God which descends from heaven to give life to the world.

The people respond: “Lord, give us this bread always.” That’s verse 34.

This is the question that prompts Jesus to say: “I am the bread of life.” I want to stop there. When Jesus says this – I am the bread of life – we need to hear him to picking up on the meaning he just teased out about the bread of God. Putting verses 33 and 35 together – we should hear Jesus say: “I am the bread of life which comes down from heaven to give life to the world.”

This is a beautiful Theophany all by itself. We can think of Jesus standing in our midst and saying, in all gentleness: I am the bread of life which comes down from heaven to give life to the world.

But there is another point I want to draw out of this exchange. The people’s question to Jesus – what does it remind you of? 

“Lord, give us this bread always.” 

In the people’s minds, they are asking each day to be given the bread which descends from heaven to give them life. Jesus responds that he is this mystery that descends from heaven to give life to souls. He is the life-giving bread. He is the bread of life. 

What I want to underline is that this question, this prayer of the people, is our own daily prayer. It’s the fifth line of the Our Father. When we ask the Father for our daily bread, at the deepest level we are asking Him for the bread of life. We are asking for that which descends from heaven and gives life to our souls. We are asking for Jesus, in His Word, in the Eucharist, in His presence mediated through the Holy Spirit.

A brief prayer to close:

Lord Jesus Christ, son of the Living God, you are the bread the life, the bread we need each day. The bread which comes down from heaven to give life to our souls. Have mercy on us sinners. Give us this bread today and always. The bread of life. Your own presence in our hearts. Amen.

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When Jesus speaks about hunger and thirst, I imagine him including pain in the list of things that will be no more. Sometimes I have back problems. Whether it is from our back, or perhaps some other part of our body, pain can take over our life. We can hurt so badly that we can't think of anything else but that pain.

When this happens to me, I have learned to turn it over to prayer. Well, one night I woke up and was instantly in pain. Earlier that day, I had some discomfort, but somehow I must have done something in my sleep that aggravated my back. I lay there in agony, not able to get comfortable in any position. Trying not to wake up my wife, I managed to get myself out of bed. I began to slowly walk back in forth in our hallway, which helped to keep the pain at bay. I navigated down our steps and tried to stand still, but the pain kept increasing, I had to keep moving to keep the pain manageable.

After about a half hour of pacing, I was so tired that I decided to sit down on our reclining chair. At three in the morning, I squealed with discomfort as I sat down. I just wanted to fall back asleep, but I couldn't sleep.

I asked, "Why is this happening, Lord?" No response. Then I prayed that the pain would subside, but it didn't. I asked, "Lord please allow me to sleep, help me to sleep, let me get some rest I have a lot to do tomorrow." This pleading went on for perhaps an hour.

I started concentrating on my breathing, no words, only breath. And suddenly I had a moment of no pain. Wow, this is working I thought, but then the pain came back. So I tried to let go of my thoughts and focus on only my breath, my breath which I related to the Spirit of God in me. Breathing in life, breathing out pain. I fell back asleep.

When Jesus says these beautiful words, "Whoever comes to me will not hunger and whoever believes in me will never thirst," I think we can easily add in something like, "whoever embraces me will never be in pain." It's a comforting thought.

What good news. Embrace Jesus and never have back pain again. Who wouldn't want to be a Christian. 

And, like the crowd that Jesus is addressing, we too, want a sign, a proof that this really is the truth. A clue to this truth is that after being baptized and spending forty days in the desert, we read in the Gospel of Matthew that Jesus "was hungry." And similarly as reported by John at the crucifixion, Jesus says, "I thirst." The one who promises no more hunger or thirst evidently experienced both of them.

The Easter season doesn't mean that all our problems go away. As we follow the savior of the world, we are in the world, and pain and thirst and hunger will remain.

And yet, the message is more than: everything will be set right in heaven. Yes, that's true, but for now we also have hope. All things are possible. The bread of heaven comes down to us, and just like the Israelites caught in the desert with not enough to eat, God provides.

The Spirit of God is in us and we can rest in the Lord knowing that Jesus will be with us always. It may be a spec of bread with the morning dew, or it might be sleep on a night filled with pain, or it could be the answer to our next prayer.

Whatever the case, I don't think we get to rationalize it. We don't get to say, "what sign will you show me Jesus?" Just as when I thought that focusing on my breathing was taking away my pain, that pain returned. I had to stop thinking and just be with the Holy Spirit. All of us are invited to let down our guard, stop demanding proof, and come experience the one who gives life to the world. Amen. Amen.

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Today's Season of Joy reflection on John 6:22-29 is by Terri Davis-Hayden.

Terri Davis-Hayden is a vocalist, teacher, writer, and producer, with a career spanning over thirty years. As owner of Cincinnati-based Respected Artists International (RAI), Terri creates and performs live, musical events, coaches career-bound singers, and produces meditation podcasts for Advent and Lent for her RAI YouTube channel.

from John 6:22-29
[After Jesus had fed the five thousand men, his disciples saw him walking on the sea.]
The next day, the crowd that remained across the sea
saw that there had been only one boat there,
and that Jesus had not gone along with his disciples in the boat,
but only his disciples had left. ...

Read the full scripture passage: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/042423.cfm

Today's gospel reading, which we just heard proclaimed, ends with the question: What can we do to accomplish the works of God? Jesus's answer: This is the work of God, that you believe in the one He sent. Jesus's answer puts another question to us today; a question that each of us can only answer for ourselves. Do you believe in the one God sent? I believe. And it began like most, with having faith handed down to me. A cradle Catholic, and the fifth of six children, I was raised in a devout, strongly conservative Catholic family. I was taught morals, values, and standards and was expected to live by them. I was well versed in the religious practices of prayer, attending Mass, and receiving the Sacraments. This became my road map for life, and the map helped to keep me anchored no matter the challenges in life.

I naturally expected to be able to pass along the faith to my children. Proud and happy to be able to afford to send my children to Catholic schools, my children grew up in a God-centered, Christian environment at home and at school, throughout their formative years. Imagine my surprise when my children became adults and rejected the Catholic faith, religion in general, and two of my three children rejecting a belief in the existence of God. I brought this heartbreaking matter to my beloved and trusted Spiritual Director, a Jesuit priest and Retreat Master. He assured me that my experience was common. He offered me a loving strategy:

1) Pray for your children. 

2) Offer up small sacrifices for the renewal of their faith. 

3) Extend invitations to them, and often, and without pressure. ‘Hey, I’m going to 10 a.m. Mass. Would you like to go?’ Want to go out to dinner? If they decline, just kindly say, ‘Okay.’

4) When they do engage with you, be careful to listen. Listen and do not offer advice unless asked for your opinion. 

5) Be a good example of love, faith, hope, understanding, and forgiveness. 

Easy peasy, right? Well, I'm here to tell you that after about ten years of working, and often enough failing, to incorporate the above practices, I had a powerful, sweet experience with my youngest, now 25. The child with whom I most often have discussions about God, higher power, and our own empowerment, my youngest looked at me compassionately and said, “Mom, I don't get it. What is it that you're worried about for me because I do not believe? What are you afraid of?” My response? “It's not that I think that you're going to hell when you die. What makes me sad or concerned is what you're missing out on right here, right now, on Earth by not believing in Jesus the Christ. And not realizing how the light of Christ shines now, and often so brilliantly so, in your life. 

Read the full transcript: https://conta.cc/3W18law

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from Luke 24:35-48
The two disciples recounted what had taken place on the way,
and how Jesus was made known to them  in the breaking of bread. ...

Read the full gospel: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/041424.cfm

Our gospel today begins with the two disciples who have just encountered Jesus on the road to Emmaus and recognized him in the breaking of bread. As they are sharing this incredible news with their friends, Jesus suddenly appears again, and even though they have just seen him, they are startled and terrified. They think he is a ghost. They still don't get it.

Jesus offers them peace and asks why they are troubled and why they question who he is. He offers the tangibility of his presence. "Touch me and see." He eats fish in front of them. He is really there, really alive. The gospel tells us these two disciples are incredulous for joy and amazed.

I am reminded of the words of medieval mystic Julian of Norwich, who I spent a great deal of time with this Lent. In the visions she received from the Lord, she was struck again and again by the constancy of God's love and mercy, and the depth of his yearning for us. She wrote, “We believe that we hardly see God at all, but what He desires is for us to believe that we see Him continuously. It is through this belief that we receive His grace. He wishes to be seen and to be sought. He wants us to yearn for Him and to trust in Him.” The kind of trust Lady Julian counsels is full and complete. She says: “Actively trust Him, knowing that He is likely to appear suddenly and without warning, raining blessings upon all His lovers. Although He appears when we least expect it, He wants to be trusted.”

Doesn't this sound like the Jesus our two disciples have just been surprised by again? The sudden appearance of blessing; this is how God works. He appears when and where we least expect it. But He wants us to trust that He is always working in our lives.

My dad's friend, in his mid-fifties, is in hospice now. A sudden illness, that turned out to be bacterial meningitis, left him in a coma just before Christmas. And for the last few months he has come out of the coma against all odds, had moments of lucidity and progress, and then got worse again. His wife and two young adult daughters have hoped against hope for a miracle of healing so that he might regain his memory, recognize them, and make a full recovery. A couple of days after he entered hospice, Rod was awake for a few moments and his wife heard him whisper something amazing. “Jesus is coming,” he said, and then he began to recite the Lord's Prayer. Dozing off before he could finish it, this dying man who does not know who he is or who his wife is, or what is happening, recognized Jesus with him. He said it out loud so that his family might have the peace of knowing that their beloved husband and father knows where he is going and who is coming for him.

Even though their prayers for his healing have not been answered the way they want, God gifted them a sliver of peace to hold on to: The sudden appearance of blessing. What Jesus tells the disciples that he's appeared to again, is an explanation of what he has just done. Just as he said he would, Jesus suffered and rose from the dead on the third day for the forgiveness of sins because of his great passionate love. They, and we, can be reborn to eternal life.

We have a God who will patiently appear again and again when we just don't get it, until we understand what He has done for love of us.

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Today's Season of Joy reflection on John 6:16-21 is by Tammy Bundy.

To read the full scripture passage, please visit: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/043022.cfm

Seeing Jesus in the midst of the storms of life is such a comforting reminder, isn’t it? I mean it’s easy to feel the presence of God in the sunshine, when all is going well. We feel so blessed, so assured. But those days when those storms roll in, they can really rock us—they can really rock our faith. 

I love this Gospel of the disciples in the boat. The timing of it all seems to echo in my life. 

They’d just come off a miracle—the multiplication of the loaves and fish! Can you imagine how confident they felt when they were witnessing the whole thing? 

Can you imagine what was in their heads? Wow! We are in the right spot. We are certainly blessed. 

It must have been so easy to believe in the power Jesus when you're standing right there seeing the miracles first hand. The Son was truly shining on them. 

And how natural would it have been for the disciples to ask to stay right there—with the proof of the miracle with the people who also saw and believed the miracle? I’d want to dwell in that moment—can I just bask here in the glory of you Lord, for just a little while please?

But of course, when those miracle moments in our lives happen, God knows our spiritual growth doesn’t occur from sitting and basking, it usually occurs when we're tested. And nobody likes to be tested.

Not too long ago, I was basically basking in God’s goodness. 
Life was good. 

My four kids were grown and happy in their adult lives. My husband and I had just purchased a new home where we could only imagine family gatherings throughout our golden years to come. Retirement was peeking around the corner. And of course, I’d just been given the most marvelous miracles of all—my first grandchild. I was basking. 

It’s easy in those moments to feel you really are on God’s good side. Like the disciples witnessing the miracles they’d just seen—I was confident in my faith, and my future. I felt so blessed. 

Then, something wasn't quite right.

One doctor’s visit led to another. More questions arose and fewer answers seemed to be found. 

Several specialists and several months later, I was finally diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Scleroderma. There's no secret in the fact that an autoimmune diagnosis is a grand spectrum of disorders that can result in things as small as an annoyance, all the way up to life-threatening issues. 

This is the case with Scleroderma. It might forever be a nuisance that I will live a long time with, or it might cause complications with my organs and shorten my life. 

Some days I'm sailing my metaphorical boat in the sunshine. I feel the Lord’s face shining on me. I’ve got this. I’m once again confident in my faith and in my future. 

But then the storm comes. There’s doubt. There’s worry. There’s a suspicious spot on my lungs. It might be nothing—it might be something big. That storm is brewing. And it's gonna be three months before the pulmonary specialist can see me. The storm starts raging. 

It's natural for the winds and worry to hit then. I would think that Jesus would be surprised if I didn’t get scared. It just wouldn’t be natural and it certainly wouldn’t be truthful. 

When those storms hit, I am reminded of my friend—the amazing priest—Fr. Jim Willig; the founder of Heart to Heart, and author of Lessons from the School of Suffering.  ...

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Today's Season of Joy reflection on John 6:1-15 is by John Willig.

To read the full scripture passage, please visit: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/042922.cfm

After we sold our family business, my preference would have been to continue working, but I felt God calling me to get more involved in doing his work.

This gospel reading, of the loaves and the fishes, pretty well summed up my feelings. I have too little to offer and there's too vast a crowd of hungry people that need God's love. Fortunately along the way, I met an incredible nun, Sister Christine, at the St. Vincent de Paul clothing center. 

She would say, "You can do it John!"

I found two things are needed: humbleness and faith. Humbleness to let go and allow God to take control, and faith to believe that Jesus could actually use my hands, my mouth, my legs, my smile, my intellect to accomplish things.

Here's a simple example. My job at the clothing center was to sign in every visitor. I was the first point of contact, and one day a gentleman in good physical shape came in, his name was Roger. I felt an inner prompting to pay a little attention to him. I'll call it, you know, God's prompting.

So I asked him if there's anything else he needed besides clothes. As we talked, I found out that Roger had just been released from prison.

I asked how many years. He said, "36 years." I told him that he had come to the right place.

But he said, 'You know, he had no place to stay—no family wanted him around—and no hope of ever getting a job because no one wants to hire an ex-con.'

This wasn't the first time I had heard this so for the several previous months, I had been collecting names of companies that hire people with a record, and I also made the effort to meet several of the owners. I handed Roger the list, circled three companies, then signed my name, saying: "Roger will work hard for you."

So I turned and talked to Roger, I said, "I guarantee they will hire you; one of these companies will hire you." So Roger left with a couple new shirts, some clean underwear, and a renewed faith and hope in the world. He was, simply put, a different man.

Here's another story. Another young man came in, his name was Robert, and he told me that he had had a job interview, but he didn't have any clothes that would be suitable for an interview.

I have found that having a steady job solves a lot of problems in that so many young men and women come from families where this is never discussed.

So I got him a couple of nice white shirts then found out he needed, he needed, pants too. We got him a nice pair of black pants and a nice pair of black leather shoes. His first pair by the way, and it became immediately [clear] also that he could use a tie, but he didn't know how to tie a tie.

We spent the next 20 minutes, I was teaching him how to tie a tie and while we were doing that, I was prompting him with some suggestions on how to ask questions, to show interest, and to just talk a little bit about yourself.

Robert went away very happy, he came back a couple weeks later, but not to get clothes. He came back, asked for me, and he said, "John, I got the job!"

Humbleness and faith. 

These are the two secrets of allowing God to use you to feed his people.

And you know, there's a second miracle that occurred in the loaves and the fishes. And that's the people that serve get twelve baskets.

They get an abundance of reward.

God bless you and have a good day.

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For many years I did not appreciate the readings from The Acts of the Apostles in the weeks after Easter. However, being a member of a religious congregation, reading about the development of the early Christian community caught my attention. People of different social classes, drawn together by the Holy Spirit, shared their lives, their possessions, and their faith.

Their strong community life, the powerful preaching of the Apostles and the works the Apostles did, drew others to join them. Then I began to appreciate the transformation of Peter, and the other Apostles, that St. Luke describes in the Acts of the Apostles.

How did the Apostles—locked in the upper room on Easter Sunday night—overcome their fear of those who condemned Jesus? 

Can you imagine Jesus coming to them in the upper room on Easter and saying, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, I also send you. Receive the Holy Spirit."

Surely Jesus understood their fear and their human weakness.

Pentecost changed the Apostles dramatically. They experienced even greater strength in preaching Jesus'  message of love, peace and forgiveness. There was a tremendous outpouring of the Holy Spirit on thousands of people. The conversion of many people, and the miracles that the Apostles performed, were a great threat to the religious leaders, so they arrested the Apostles several times.

Once again, the religious leaders met in full assembly, wanting to put an end to the Apostles' preaching once and for all. They sent police officers to bring the Apostles from jail to the court. You can imagine how embarrassed the police officers were, when they had to admit that the Apostles had escaped from prison and were preaching in the Temple again. 

You can also imagine the consternation in the courtroom. When the Apostles arrived, the high priest scolded them again for not obeying his order to stop preaching. 

They replied, "We must obey God rather than any human authority. We are witnesses and so is the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those who obey him."

The Apostles tried to convince the religious leaders that Jesus was the Savior for whom they were longing. He was the Savior sent by God to invite the people of Israel to repent and to offer them forgiveness of their sins. 

Once again, the religious leaders were infuriated and decided to put the Apostles to death. How might this passage from the Acts of the Apostles inspire or challenge us today?

The Apostles are enthusiastic to share the good news of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. 

How is the Holy Spirit inspiring you during this Easter season to be a person of light and life for others?

The Apostles were committed to tell the truth about Jesus even when facing imprisonment and possible death. Is there a situation right now that challenges you to search for the truth or to speak the truth under difficult circumstances?

How do you prepare to do so? Do you invite the Spirit to inspire and strengthen you?
Trust is built on truth.

How does our society view truth today? How can you contribute to a more truthful society?

Let us pray to the Holy Spirit, that we may continue to be light and life for others.

Let us pray that we may be people of integrity, guided by our faith in God. 

Let us also pray to the Holy Spirit to bless our civil and religious leaders with the courage to be people of integrity, unafraid to speak the truth, and to seek justice for all people.

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Chapter 3 of John's gospel, describes three people, who either reject, ponder or accept Jesus' teaching: the Jewish priests, Nicodemus, and John the Baptist. 

The priests are obsessed with ritual purity, strict observance of the law, and self-righteous Orthodoxy. Jesus calls them hypocrites and they reject his teaching as a threat to their authority. 
The second person is Nicodemus, a Pharisee who comes to Jesus at night, thinking he must be from God. But Nicodemus is doubtful and literally in the dark. Jesus challenges his blindness saying, "No one can see the reign of God without being reborn from above."

Nicodemus responds: "How can this be?"

Jesus answers prophetically: "The Son of Man must be lifted up so that whoever believes in him may have eternal life."

Nicodemus is every man, every woman. He appears two more times in John's narrative. He along with Joseph of Arimathea, bravely go to Pilate requesting the body of Jesus. He later brings oil for ritual burial. With these acts of kindness, he is birthing Christ's Spirit being reborn. 

The third person is John the Baptist who hears Jesus' words, sees his deeds, and affirms him as the Messiah. This recognition, this conversion, comes to John in stages as it did to Nicodemus. He says, "Christ must increase and I decrease."

My contemporary example of conversion, is Joseph from Cleveland. I met him at a maximum-security prison during a Kairos retreat. He was serving 30 years to life for a crime he did not commit. 

Joe sat next to me and I heard his story. When he was 21, his drug-dealing cousin pleaded with Joe to accompany him to a meeting with a drug supplier to whom the cousin owed money. 
Joe naively went with him as a show of support. The cousin told the supplier he didn't have the money. The supplier drew a gun, the cousin beat him to the draw, and killed him. 

Later, the cousin, then Joe were arrested. The prosecutor offered a separate plea agreement to whomever would testify as to who pulled the trigger. Joe refused to testify. His cousin said, "Joe did it." The cousin got 10 years as an accessory. Joe, 30 years to life.

When I met Joe, he had served 25 years. He was possessed with hatred for his cousin. The third night of the retreat is about forgiveness. We ask retreatants to list those they hold in unforgiveness and then ritually burn the lists. 

I was next to Joe when he threw his list with his cousin's name into the fire. He was tearful and trembling. That evening Joe called his mother and told her he had forgiven his cousin. 

She paused and told him his cousin was in the house. He told her to put him on the phone. Joe told his cousin that he forgave him and was at last free from hatred. The cousin broke down in tears.

Joe was reborn that night from above. He experienced a conversion. His act of forgiveness opened his eyes to Jesus being lifted up. Jesus' betrayal and forgiveness opened Joe's eyes to the reign of God and freed him from the burden of hatred.

John's gospel speaks to me of our daily conversion journey. Each day we begin again. We suffer from the illusion that one day we'll arrive and have it all together.

We birth God's spirit anew each day. God's spirit increasing and mine decreasing.

Living no longer, "I", as Paul says, but Christ living in me. As me.

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