Who hasn’t at one time or another referred to someone else as a narcissist? But really, the clinical version of narcissism is relatively rare… which doesn’t mean that many people don’t have narcissistic traits! Some are healthy and related to self-worth, but others are harmful—and completely invisible to the person exhibiting them.

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you’re probably already struggling. Whether you stay in the relationship or leave depends on your circumstances; if you choose to stay, you will need to set consistent boundaries with them, but know you will never be able to “fix” who they are.

What you can do: you might explore how and why you were attracted to your partner, and work with a therapist to discover the best way to move forward, regardless of whether or not you choose to stay in the relationship.