In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy podcast, host Christopher Robbins interviews New York Times bestselling author Richard Eyre about his latest book, "The Grandparenting Blueprint." Richard, a father of nine with 34 grandchildren, shares his insights on modern grandparenting and the importance of teaching life lessons to grandchildren.
The conversation explores the "12 secrets" Richard has developed to pass on to his grandchildren at different ages, covering topics like joy, choices, popularity, money management, and decision-making. Richard emphasizes the critical balance grandparents must strike between being involved and supportive while respecting that parents are ultimately in charge, advocating for proactive grandparenting that can profoundly impact future generations.
Episode Highlights
00:00:15: Christopher welcomes listeners to the Helping Families Be Happy podcast and
introduces himself as co-founder of Famis, husband, father of nine, author, fly fisherman, and backpacker based in California's central valley.
00:00:15: Richard Eyre is introduced as a New York Times number one bestselling author with more than 50 books in print who speaks to audiences in over 60 countries and now focuses on grandparenting and three-generation family management.
00:01:16: Christopher explains that the podcast aligns with the Famis 10 Habits of Happy Families and directs listeners to the Habit Hub blog and YouTube channel for more resources.
00:01:16: Richard welcomes the opportunity to discuss grandparenting with a fellow father of nine, noting the difference in their grandchildren count—Christopher has two while Richard has 34.
00:02:20: Christopher asks Richard why "The Grandparenting Blueprint" is so important to him and what motivated him to share his experiences.
00:02:58: Richard explains that writers do their best work when writing about current experiences in their lives, and grandparenting is now his daily reality with abundant material.
00:02:58: Richard describes how grandparenting is becoming a science similar to how parenting evolved, with people actively seeking knowledge on how to be effective grandparents.
00:04:00: Richard notes that grandparenting used to be something that just happened to people, but now it's becoming intentional as people realize they may be grandparents for 40 years.
00:04:50: Christopher begins to discuss the 12 secrets organized by age groups (8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18) that Richard shares in his book.
00:05:18: Richard explains the book has two parts—the first covers the basics of grandparenting using the TEAM approach acronym, while the second part presents the secrets.
00:06:13: Richard details the TEAM approach: Trunk (connecting family branches), Ear (listening to grandkids), Assembler (gathering family together), and Match (matching funds rather than just giving money).
00:07:07: Richard shares how calling principles "secrets" captured his grandchildren's attention far better than presenting them as lectures or lessons.
00:07:54: Richard reveals that the grandchildren contributed to the book by sharing their reactions and perspectives on each secret at a family reunion.
00:08:49: Christopher lists all 12 secrets: joy, leadership, choices, popularity, the single tree, magic words, faith, transforming, money and work, the ring of truth, weekly planning, and advanced decision making.
00:09:03: Christopher focuses on the secret about choices, relating it to his own teaching that people are free to choose but not free from consequences.
00:09:37: Richard explains there are two types of choices—those that can be made in advance (like decisions about drugs, smoking, drinking) and those that cannot (like who to marry or what career to pursue).
00:10:31: Richard describes how he has grandchildren make lists of decisions they can make in advance before facing crisis moments.
00:11:24: Richard explains the process for big decisions that can't be made in advance, involving thinking, analyzing, meditating, seeking advice, and pondering for confirmation before finalizing.
00:12:11: Richard shares that he had to get permission from his grandchildren at a family reunion to share the secrets in a book.
00:12:32: Christopher jokes about the Eyre family wanting a competitive advantage, and Richard responds that the grandkids agreed but wanted part of the royalties.
00:12:45: Christopher highlights the popularity secret for 10-12 year olds: good popularity comes frombeing nice to everyone and lasts, while bad popularity comes from only being nice to certain people and doesn't last.
00:14:03: Richard explains why ages 10-12 are critical for this message, as it's when girls become clique- ish and boys face bullying issues in middle school.
00:14:03: Richard shares how grandchildren have memorized the secrets and how he has used small bribes to encourage memorization.
00:15:06: Christopher moves to the money and work secret for age 16, which teaches that work is a blessing and money is a means, not an end.
00:15:54: Richard emphasizes the importance of teaching that there's no free lunch and the need to work for what you get.
00:16:45: Richard stresses the importance of not overstepping boundaries with adult children by criticizing their parenting approaches to money and work.
00:17:44: Richard describes the grandparents' bank concept where grandchildren can deposit money and earn generous interest to learn about saving.
00:17:44: Richard explains the 10-20-70 principle: give away 10%, save 20%, and use 70% for living expenses.
00:18:43: Richard shares that with parental permission, he takes 16-year-old grandchildren to open Schwab accounts to begin real investing.
00:19:11: Christopher emphasizes that you don't need to be wealthy to be a decent investor, sharing his own experience of starting with $25 per paycheck in a 401k.
00:20:13: Richard explains how he opens custodial Roth IRA accounts for grandchildren at 16 and
matches whatever they contribute to encourage saving.
00:20:33: Christopher asks how to navigate the reality that grandchildren have parents who may have different values and viewpoints.
00:21:36: Richard advises taking parents to dinner monthly or quarterly to ask how grandparents can help while acknowledging parents are in charge.
00:21:36: Richard describes the five facet review process: asking parents about grandchildren's physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual development.
00:22:46: Richard emphasizes that establishing a supportive rather than takeover relationship deepens connections with adult children and increases time with grandchildren.
00:23:27: Christopher shares a powerful story about his grandfather taking him to Hawaii for two weeks when he was 12 and his grandfather was 92.
00:24:10: Christopher describes how his grandfather asked him about what type of person he wanted to marry, which profoundly influenced his dating and marriage choices.
00:25:08: Richard amplifies Christopher's point about the social distance between grandparents and grandchildren allowing for instant trust and better listening.
00:25:08: Richard encourages grandparents to be proactive rather than retiring from family involvement, as it makes a real difference in grandchildren's lives.
00:25:19: Christopher asks where listeners can find Richard online, and Richard directs them to
valuesparenting.com.
00:25:37: Christopher concludes by thanking Richard and providing publication details for "The
Grandparenting Blueprint," available March 2026 from Familius.
The social distance between grandparents and grandchildren allows for unique trust and listening opportunities that parents may not have due to daily responsibilities.
One-on-one time between grandparents and grandchildren creates lasting memories and profound influences that children remember throughout their lives.Proactive grandparenting involvement rather than retirement from family life makes a significant difference in grandchildren's development and future success."I think all writers, certainly in my case it's true, do their best work when they're writing about something, that they're actually doing something that's current in their own lives.""Grandparenting is sort of where parenting was maybe 50 years ago. I mean, it, it's, it's just becoming a thing...they've realized that they may be grandparents for 40 years.""The minute I put the word secrets on it, hey, I gotta take, I got a couple of secrets for you. At least I had their attention.""You are free to choose whatever you want, but once you choose, you are no longer free of the consequences, which follow and consequences are both good and bad""If you make a decision and then you ponder it, you think about it for a while and you, if you're a praying person, you ask God to confirm that decision.""Good popularity comes from being nice to everyone and it lasts. Bad popularity comes from only being nice to certain people and it doesn't""Kids, even young ones, they are smarter than we think they are.""Work is a blessing and the money it earns is a means and not an end""If you go in thinking you are in charge, you're gonna, you're gonna fail and you're gonna drive a wedgevbetween you and your children.""Once a month or even once a quarter, go to dinner with the parents of that grandchild.""There is a social distance between a grandparent and a grandchild that allows for a more instant kind of trust and listening and awareness.""Be a proactive grandparent. Don't, don't sit in the corner and watch, don't retire."
