Her Rules Radio

“I just don’t feel inspired today, Mom.”

My kid was standing, shoulders slumped, pencil and sketch pad on the table.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “You don’t have to feel inspired right now. All an artist needs to do is sit down and start moving the pencil so inspiration has somewhere to show up.”

My 12-year old son was facing what all of us creative and driven types face at some point: the myth of inspiration. 

I see it in my clients all the time: coaches, podcasters, consultants, writers, and healers. 

I see it in myself, which is how I can spot it so quickly in other people!

This false myth needs to be scrubbed from our belief systems. 

It’s a myth that we need to wait for a great idea to land, fully formed, in our brains, and only then can we sit down and create something “good.”

And I’m about to show you how to scrub that myth from our minds, why it’s important to do so, and how it will benefit your satisfaction and success.

I hear this myth expressed from my clients who are: 

• Coaches
• Branding or marketing experts
• Doctors
• Healers
• Psychologists
• Bloggers
• People who are growing an Instagram or Facebook following, or 
• People who are starting a book or podcast

The myth keeps us from sitting down and fumbling through our thoughts. 

The myth stops us from getting our butts in the chair to write.

The myth is what keeps us from getting better through practice.

The truth is, great writers and creators, successful coaches, and outstanding entrepreneurs don’t wait for inspiration to strike: they get down to the work, knowing that inspiration comes when we have our tools, get into our space, welcome the Muse, and embody the Creatrix.

It’s like putting on your hiking boots: you’re not out hiking yet, but you’re ready to start.

If I waited to feel inspired I might never:

• Go to my 7am pilates class
• Cook a fresh mid-week dinner
• Speak in front of a room of potential clients (I still get hella nervous public speaking)
• Record a podcast
• Finish writing a book...

What’s important, and what every creator you admire knows, is that it’s the tiny personal habits that lead to professional success...and life satisfaction. 

Growing these habits of creativity can greatly improve anyone’s life. (Especially your business and career!) And the practice of ramping up your creativity isn’t just for artists.

Creativity is for everyone. 

But waiting for inspiration? 

That’s a rookie belief.

Studies on creativity, inventors, and entrepreneurs show that those who produce the “master works” also tend to produce the most work, including a lot of failures. Some quotes from people who know:

• Thomas Edison said about his long road to inventing the light bulb: "I haven't failed -- I've just found 10,000 that won't work."
• “Nothing will work unless you do.” – Maya Angelou
• “Discipline is not a dirty word. There is far more freedom and opportunity for creativity and success in enjoying discipline. Years ago someone I very much respect told me the reason they were successful is that they embraced doing what other people resent or are reluctant to do.” – Janice Bryant Howroyd

Now, don’t get me wrong:

This truth about inspiration is not the same as not listening to your intuition!

You might be thinking, “but Alex, how is this different from trusting my intuition when it tells me to wait?”

Very good question!

Here’s another question for you to ask yourself, so tune in, get quiet, and ask yourself:

Is my intuition telling me to stop and rest and wait?

Or am I resisting showing up to the daily work of experimentation and practice?

Only you can answer this question. Doing the work, consistently, even when it isn’t “good,” is what helps us trust and hone our intuition.

As you show up to the page, or desk, or microphone, keep listening to your intuition and let it guide you. It will lead you to inspiration and great ideas.

So showing up to your work, consistently, is really about trusting yourself, the value of your ideas, and believing in your divine connection to your Inner Creatrix.

Here are some ways you can realign with your internal motivation and show up for your passions:

MAKE TIME, TAKE 

SPACE: be present, look at the world around you, read books, look at art, listen to music, walk in nature, make art. Get out of your device. Our job as creatives is to observe, play with reality, take in the world, and imagine a new one. We are the creators of the new world and new solutions. By being present your ideas and inspirations will come.

These all work for me, and I hope they help you, too.

The priceless value of committing to your creativity, and not waiting for inspiration to strike, is that you’ll create new, exciting combinations:

• Your work and skills get better. 
• You’ll surprise yourself and rekindle your passion for the work. 
• Your resilience will grow, and you’ll get into a productive flow more often. 

Some questions for reflection:

Do you tend to work in the same way all the time?

Can you shake it up?

Do you make space and take time to consistently show up for your passions?

In late December I’ll be opening applications for the Creatrix 2020 mentorship program. Want to be in the first group to apply? Go here to get on the early bird list: 

Xo,

Alex

Confession: I Was A Copy Cat Coach

I didn’t think I had anything interesting or new to say. Scratch that: I DID believe I had something to say, I just wasn’t saying it. Instead I was copying others and passing it off as my own. Because I was scared...

When I started out as a health coach, 19 years ago, I followed the exact formula set out by the school I attended. That strategy helped me engage and support clients, so I stuck with the formula for years. But then it stopped working. And I thought I just needed a new formula to grow my business again.

So I signed up with a coach who trained me in a new formula and system, and I began to see a new burst of growth and clients. I used that formula for a while, and it started to get harder and harder to find and support new clients.

Was it me? I tend to get bored with systems and formulas, so I have to wonder if my diminishing lack of enthusiasm caused the decrease in clients. Or was it the system?

I then pinballed from coach to coach, system to system, learning new formulas.

That’s when I realized I was copying other coaches. Not just the coaches I was working with, but other coaches who put out newsletters I read, writers who wrote books I loved, and more. 

It didn’t feel good. 

It wasn’t very successful either.

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but when I imitated or copied other coaches, I heard a nagging voice in the back of my mind. The voice said:

“You’re copying someone else. You don’t really have anything original to say. And if it’s not yours, then what good is it? You’re just a poor imitation of someone else. Might as well give up. You’re going to get caught and called out. Better not get too big, or people will notice you’re a fraud…”

UGH. It felt gross. 

I hated hearing that voice and the way it made me feel. 

The impact of this voice, my Bitch Brain, (AKA Imposter Syndrome, Inner Critic, Resistance), was that I didn’t grow as big as I said I wanted to. My passion for my work was dampened by the fear of being “found out.” My impact on the world, helping women grow into their best versions and create abundant, satisfying lives, was smaller than I dreamed it could be.

And I got called out for my imitation a couple of times.

When I got called out, I made immediate steps to rectify the problem:

• took down a sales page and rewrote it
• redesigned a graphic with new colors and words
• Apologized…

But the real work was in seeing that I wasn’t facing my fear:

The fear of putting out my real work, my real ideas, in my true voice, and possibly having it ignored, criticized, or not making an impact with it at all.

In the hard work of becoming yourself, and clearly presenting your vision, teaching, work, or art, you will have to face the voice that says your work isn’t good enough.

It may keep you quiet and not working at your fullest capacity...

It may cause you to copy-paste someone else’s work and not give them credit...

I may even cause you to close up shop and stop pursuing your dream...

...if you let it. 

It’s a dance to create who you are, using the inspiration and education you’ve acquired, and not simply copy someone else who inspires you.

The truth is, even the greatest masters learn from someone, and often copy the work of other creators to learn technique. 

When we learn how to cook, we use other people’s recipes.

When we start a business, we follow tested models that have worked for others.

But at some point, we reach a place in our work where we itch to create our own unique way of doing it. And some point, it becomes necessary for growth and our own satisfaction.

• My most successful cleanse programs, which made tens of thousands of dollars, came after I fused traditional detox practices with positive psychology mindset work.
• My private coaching has become highly sought after since I integrated dance, art, and creative writing techniques to the personal work of professional success. 

To become a unique and authentic teacher, artist, or coach, we have to learn how to filter all of our influences through our unique lens of personal experience and vision. 

To create something unique and magnetic, healing and useful, we must bravely do the work. And risk getting is wrong.

My own work and drive to create is fueled in part by a desire to be original and fuse all the truths together.

Your work, or art, or services are a tapestry of all of your experiences and education, sewn and woven together in real time, always evolving.

You are a coat of many colors, not a copy-paste meme.

In a few weeks I’ll open applications for the Creatrix 2020 Mentorship. If you would like to have first access to the application process, just let me know here:

Today’s show is about owning all the parts of yourself, including the one we call the “dark night of the soul.” If you’re not familiar with the phrase, you’re probably well-acquainted with the feelings that characterize this state. Let’s jump in together and learn more!

Liyana Silver is a good friend, coach, and author. We’ve known each other for years. Liyana’s teaching is called “Mining for Gold in a Dark Night of the Soul.” She’s an amazing coach who helps women move through their dark night and into their bodies and souls. Her first book is called Feminine Genius: The Provocative Path to Waking Up and Turning On the Wisdom of Being a Woman.

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/237

A short Power Pod for coaches, leaders, teachers, healers, doctors, and consultants on the edge you get with creative thinking techniques for professional success. Studies from Montreal and Harvard shine a light on the benefits of art and creativity.

Today’s show highlights a fascinating PBS documentary, which premieres just a few days from now. It’s made by a dear friend of mine and covers an intriguing phenomenon taking place in Boise, Idaho.

Beth Aala is a three-time Emmy Award-winning producer and Peabody Award winner for her documentary work at HBO. Her most recent documentary is Rancher, Farmer, Fisherman, which she co-directed and produced. It premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2017. Beth is here to discuss her new documentary that will air on PBS on October 28, so check your local listings for more information. The film is called Made In Boise, and it highlights the incredible, booming surrogacy industry that has emerged in Boise, Idaho. Beth shares her approach to the film, the relationships she witnesses, the politics of surrogacy, and the number of strong feelings and opinions brought on by this topic. I believe it’s important for women to see and hear stories about women that are made by women. Beth has built her successful career around the creation of these stories.

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/235

Authentic leaders know who they are, and let people in on their truth.  

Coaching to uncover your authentic truth is not just about solving problems. Coaching helps you avoid problems by providing accountability and space to think and be more clear and intentional about your goals and actions. And coaching is really helpful for getting clear about where you want to go, and how you want to feel.

Coaches don’t provide a lot of answers, but they do ask a lot of great questions to help you find your own answers.

Here's a list of my top favorite questions that I use with private coaching clients that create:
• Space for self-reflection
• New perspective
• A loving kick in the butt when your thinking is stuck
• Support for difficulties and new ideas
• Accountability for your goals and plans

Go to https://alexandrajamieson.com/fuck-it-list/ for the free How To Write Your F*ck It Guide workbook!

You’re in for a treat on today’s show as we welcome back one of my favorite guests to talk about some of my favorite topics! We are talking about hormones and sexuality with one of the leading holistic doctors. Middle age brings with it many changes in our physical and sexual health. We’ll cover energy, focus, hormones, and sexuality as they relate to the way our bodies age.

Dr. Anna Cabeca has much to teach us about feeling safe in our bodies and sexual relationships. We’ve been friends for years, and I trust her and her products, and I use them faithfully. She understands the dropoff in energy and focus that comes with middle age, and she knows that balancing our hormones and drives in our bodies support our long-term relationships and our self-worth. If you’re struggling with any of these hormone-related issues, then this is the show for you. 

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/233

Our little show turns 5 years old this month! We've built an incredible community here, and you're to thank. A recap, what's next, and a sneak peek into the behind the scenes of my latest Rich Creatrix Mentorship Retreat in NYC!

Life mapping for creative leadership success, banishing imposter syndrome, and more!

Thanks for being a part of our community here. 

We are diving into deep juiciness today as we explore the topics covered in a new book. This book will challenge your thinking about traditional Christianity and religion, especially regarding the role of women in ancient times as spiritual authorities. Come explore this topic with today’s amazing guest!

Meggan Watterson is a feminist theologian with a Master of Theological Studies degree from Harvard Divinity School and a Master of Divinity from Columbia University. She’s a teacher and writer who leads retreats and workshops on the Divine Feminine and The Soul-Voice Meditation. She is powerful and passionate about her love for Christianity, which wasn’t revealed to her until later in life. Meggan’s latest book is Mary Magdalene Revealed: The First Apostle, Her Feminist Gospel & the Christianity We Haven’t Tried Yet. The book explores the deep, rich history of women in early Christianity in a fascinating way.

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/231

25 non-fiction, self-help, and "fluffy fiction" books I read this summer:

How do I source all these books?

Libby and Overdrive Apps - both require a library card, you can download ebooks and audio books for free, or place a hold and they’ll be delivered to your device when it’s your turn.

ThriftBooks app - used books for sale (usually for very cheap) by the owner

Powells.com - used and new books, and you can enter the ISBN from your books and they’ll buy them back from you. You just ship them to Powells with their pre-paid shipping label and I always get credit on their website.

Also, KindleUnlimited - it costs a bit, but for my fluffy fiction I go through them pretty fast. I also know that those authors do get paid by the page count I read, so that feels good.

I’d be lying if I said I never get tempted by a good old fashioned book store - this summer I was in my home town of Portland, OR and simply HAD to get a new book off the shelves.

How I keep track of what I've read for future reference:

For the non-fiction books, I like to take notes. I use Evernote and quote passages or write inspirations I get from the reading. Then I can tag them for future reference. So I have tags like coaching, growth mindset, courage, confidence, creativity, and marketing. I know some people use a google doc for this as well, which I use google for everything else, but Evernote’s tagging system is easier for me. Also, Evernote’s app is easier for me to use and I listen on the go a lot.