Here Be Monsters
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Here Be Monsters episodes

  • HBM030: Crickets, Cadavars, and Conventional Wisdom
    This episode is a Grab-bag, it contains three segments that serve as follow-ups to the three most recent episodes of Here Be Monsters.
    Part 1: Crickets on Tape
    In this segment, Jeff takes apart his tape recorder and installs a knob to help him slow down the tape without using digital wizardry in attempts to de-muddy the waters after HBM029: Do Crickets Sing Hymns.  He bought some more crickets and slowed the cassette slowed down to 1/3 speed.  The results were telling, and surprising.
    In that episode, we were talking about the confusion surrounding the bit of audio called God's Cricket Chorus by Jim Wilson.  In this segment we’ll clear up exactly what is known and exactly what is not about God’s Cricket Chorus and its derivative works.
    Also, a correction to a mistake we made in Episode 29 about how digital audio is constructed for our ears.  In that episode we represented the final product of digital audio to be choppy, yet moving by too quick for our ears to notice its choppiness.  This is NOT the case.  In fact, digital audio is always converted back to analog before it hits our ears.  This is done with a device called a Digital to Analog Converter (DAC).  Here’s an article that explains this process very simply  (Page 4 is where the good stuff starts).  Big thanks to the two commenter s who pointed out this error.
    Want to try stretching some crickets yourself?  Download this same set of cricket songs we used for the shows.
    Part 2: Conventional Wisdom on the Future of the Four Humors
    In HBM027: Balancing Act, Here Be Monsters producer Lina Misitzis delved into the rich history of the Four Humors, which was, for thousands of years, the way much of world understood medicine, the body and the universe as a whole.
    While we never heard from Alain Touwaide in that episode, he was central to our research of traditional medicine.  He’s the director of the Institute for the Preservation of Medical Traditions in Washington DC.
    He spoke with Lina about the foggy past and likely future of Humorism. 
    Part 3: The Resting Places of Medical Cadavers
    In HBM028: Johnathan’s Cadaver Paintings, Johnathan Happ, a grad student at the University of Washington, visits one of the cadaver labs on campus.  He spends a lot of time there, studying the bodies, so that he can make paintings of them in his studio. 
    While that episode has a lot of information about the cadaver labs themselves.  We never got the chance to talk about  what happens to those bodies after their 3 year rotation in the lab. 
    So, in this segment, Jeff goes out to the Evergreen-Washelli Cemetery in northern Seattle, where most of those bodies come to rest. 
    Special thanks to two employees of Evergreen-Washelli who helped out with a lot of the background for this piece:  Sandy Matthie (Reception at Columbarium) and Brian Braathen (Funeral Home Manager)
    Music: The Black Spot ||| Half Ghost  <-- New!
    30 min
  • HBM029: Do Crickets Sing Hymns?
    A bit of stunningly beautiful audio has surfaced online recently and it's riling up two different kinds of people--churchgoers and audio engineers. Some are saying that this music proves God's intention, others say it's a load of crap. The funny thing is that it's just recordings of bugs, crickets chirping, but with the speed turned waaaaaayyyy ddoooowwwnnn. Whatever it is, it's...undeniably "church-y".
    But some have argued that it's not just bugs in the recording, that there's voices or guitars accompanying the insects...it's just too good to be true.
    So, in this episode, audio engineer Toby Reif takes us down the rabbit hole of audio theory to help us understand how sound-stretching works, and the reasons why this long loop of cricket noises has touched so many.
    Jeff also buys 50 crickets in this episode to see if they'll chirp. Tune in to see what happens.
    Toby and Jeff originally heard the cricket audio from a Croatian Sound Cloud user who uploaded the sounds and mis-attributed them to the theater director Robert Wilson. (UPDATE: the Soundclouder who uploaded this has since corrected much of the misinformation that was formerly in the sound's description).
    Toby and Jeff love Paul's Extreme Sound Stretcher. It's free. (Windows/Linux only. sorry Apple folk)
    Music from: The Palisades ||| Phantom Fauna
    23 min
  • HBM028: Jonathan's Cadaver Paintings
    Jonathan Happ’s white lab coat and latex gloves make him look like a doctor when he stands in a room full of people. But he’s not a doctor…he’s an artist, and the people he shares this room with are all dead.
    In this episode, Jonathan takes a recorder into the University of Washington’s cadaver lab and reports on what he sees, and why he draws and paints images of the bodies.
    Sensitive listeners should note that this episode contains graphic (but mostly scientific) descriptions of the cadavers.
    The track image is one of Jonathan's paintings. To see a larger version and a drawing of the tendons in a cadaver hand, go to HBM's facebook page
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    Music from: Swamp Dog ||| Flower Petal Downpour ||| Nym ||| The Black Spot
    25 min
  • HBM027: Balancing Act
    For thousands of years, Western Medicine thought it had itself figured out. Everything came in fours. There were four sensations, four fluids in the body, four kinds of people, and four elements making up the world. They were all related. There wasn’t one without the other. Everything was a balancing act, and it was called Humorism.
    In recent history, vaccines, sterilization, and other modern treatments have pushed Humorism out of the picture. But traditions ingrained in culture, science, and religion for thousands of years don’t just vanish. While few people still eat lemons to balance their yellow bile, or willingly drain their blood at the barber shop, elements of Humorism still play into modern society. They can be hard to see, but trust us, they’re here.
    Music from: Lucky Dragons ||| Nym ||| The Black Spot
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    15 min
  • HBM026: John Comes Down The Birth Canal
    It was 40-odd years before John Hanneman figured out what the night terrors of his youth represented. In this episode, John describes the first trauma he experienced in life—something we all share. And he explains how he overcame it to become the person he is today.
    Check out some pictures of John Hanneman over on the HBM's Facebook
    If John’s voice sounds familiar, you aren’t imagining it. John appeared on the show waaay back on Episode 3: John Dips Below where he talked about his experiences diving below the waters of Puget Sound to take breathing lessons from a giant octopus.
    Music from: Phantom Fauna ||| The Black Spot
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    17 min
  • HBM025: The Sasquatch of Pumpkintown VS Motley Crue Jon Bon Jovi
    Homemade Bigfoot costumes can get you in a lot of trouble. And in gun-toting community of Pumpkintown, SC, a fake Bigfoot costume might get you killed too. But when the recession caused a local outfitter’s store sales to sag, it was a risk he was willing to take.
    In the episode, Ben Becker tells the story of a disgusting hound dog named “Motley Crue John Bon Jovi”, a tobacco-juice soaked Sasquatch suit, and the world’s worst hot sauce.
    Sharp listeners should note that no one fact-checked a single claim in this story. Wait, actually, we did look up Pumpkintown on Google Maps. It’s a real place. Use discretion before you use anything else in your term paper.
    Music from: Flowerpetal Downpour ||| Lucky Dragons ||| Nym ||| Swamp Dog
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    17 min
  • HBM024: The Friendliest Town In Texas
    Shoppingspree Clark showed up on the side of the road outside the “Friendliest Town in Texas” with nothing more than a sketchpad and the burnt-out ruin of the RV he’d just bought.
    Content Note: Explicit Content
    Coleman, Texas’ self-claimed title is true because it used to be on a billboard above the highway. And the people that live there are diverse, troubled, religious, unusual…and friendly.
    This episode contains many adult themes, including suicide, prejudice, and racism. There are also unbleeped swear words and racial slurs. Use discretion.
    This episode was originally released by Shoppingspree Clark in June 2013.
    Most of the music on this show comes from Shoppingspree himself. His moniker, Crunchy Person, has some good albums up on Bandcamp.
    Music from: Javelin ||| Seagull Invasion
    Here Be Monsters is a proud member of the Mule Radio Syndicate.  They distribute some awesome programs...checkum out.
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    48 min
  • HBM023: The Near Destruction of Rey Jaguar [Extended Cut]
    For lucha libre wrestlers, masks are everything. They wear them in the ring, they wear them to the grocery store, they wear them any time they appear in public. No one knows what face lies under that mask, so it makes sense that de-masking a Luchadore or Luchadora is highest taboo in the sport.
    In this episode, we travel to Seattle’s South Park neighborhood for Lucha Libre In The Park, a free wrestling event put on by Lucha Libre Volcanica. Costumes, yelling kids, exquisite masks, cross-dressing, motorcycles, bad victory speeches--everything you would expect, and one thing that no one saw coming.
    Check out the crazy photos from that night right here
    This piece’s shortened form (6 minutes) was entered as a submission in KCRW’s 24-Hour Radio Race. Listen to the original.
    And also listen to the other entries!
    Music from: Lucky Dragons ||| The Black Spot
    Here Be Monsters is now a proud member of the Mule Radio Syndicate, which distributes some other really great podcasts. Check them out at MuleRadio.net.
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    14 min
  • HBM022: The Holy Ghost Fixes David's Brain
    David Blackshire Key has been called a douchebag more times than he can count. It's probably because he used to wear big sunglasses--day and night, indoors and out. He wasn't a movie star, he just had brain cancer.
    Writer and radio producer Bridget Burnquist produced this show.
    One of his side-effects was a strange sensitivity to light called "photophobia". Even after doctors removed the tumor, his painful sensitivity continued. So he turned to his faith, looking for healing from a supernatural force.
    In this show, we reference Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in Redding, California.
    Music from: Lucky Dragons ||| Swamp Dog ||| Flower Petal Downpour ||| The Black Spot
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    25 min
  • HBM021: Potential Energy
    Season 2 of Here Be Monsters begins.
    The reasons why I bike at night are diverse. It’s partly because I don’t feel graceful anywhere else, it’s partly to run away and it’s partly out of persistent defiance of my failing vision.
    I recently biked out to a parking garage on the outskirts of Boulder, Colorado and remembered the most significant moment of my eighteenth year, a night that made everything I do now possible.
    The story involves electronic dance music, a laundromat, a bunch of sweaty teenagers pretending like it’s the eighties and one of the loudest amplifiers I’ve ever heard.
    Music Nym ||| The Black Spot
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    1 hr 3 min

About Here Be Monsters

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An independent podcast about fear, beauty and the unknown. Since 2012. Hosted by Jeff Emtman and others.