People with herpes have a tendency to want to save others from getting herpes. Which is admirable. But sometimes it's taken too far. As heartfelt as this seems on the surface, it’s counterproductive in that by isolating herpes from others, you’re isolating you.

The key to breaking the cycle of shame and loneliness that herpes seems to bring is to normalize herpes in your life. Herpes gets its power from the power of secrets and isolation.

Do you feel like nobody could possibly understand what you’re going through? When you look around, do you see everyone as free from herpes and you as the only one who is suffering with it? Do you feel like this is your secretive battle to wage?

A lot of it comes down to how you yourself perceive the herpes talk. Is it a dreaded rejection-maker or is it an opportunity to go deeper into trust, authenticity and vulnerability?

It’s not about herpes at all. It’s about who you truly are that herpes blocks from being. If you let it, that is.

Occasionally the news will tell us there’s a possibility for a legitimate cure, but it seems just out of our reach sometime in the future. Whether or not the physical cure for herpes is coming anytime soon, ultimately the biggest “problem” herpes poses isn’t the physical symptoms at all, but the psychological.

People with herpes are confronted with a very physical and intimate version of shame on an ongoing basis. Our automatic reaction is to go numb and look the other way, waiting for it to go away so we can get back to our lives. But what if there was something important we were turning away from?

Yes, at first herpes might seem like one of those teachers who was stern and cruel, but sometimes teachers push you because underneath that bratty kid they see something worthy of bringing out.

Such a simple phrase, but can you feel how much power it has? “I have herpes.” When you say these three words, what effect do they have on you? There’s a way to move past these feelings. And that way is through.