Delighted to share the next conversation on the subject of learning to loving our bodies. This week we chat with the brilliant and beautiful Fatu Sillah. Please excuse my gravelly voice I was in the depths of a cold when the intro was recorded, so kept it short and sweet. Fatu lives in Sydney and works as a social worker, supporting young people who have been in social care. She grew up in a number of African nations after her family had to leave her birthplace, Sierra Leone when she was young. She moved to Australia in 2004 at the age of 13 and she’s been largely independent from there.
Fatu Is An Incredible Woman
And my goodness she has lived and learned a lot. She is everything I would wish for in an Aunty and I am so excited to share our conversation with you
She is unflinchingly honest about her experiences
Proud of her achievements
Breaking generational and cultural barriers
Real fragile and vulnerable
A little bit sweary (beware)
Distinctively and impressively her own woman
Full of joy and illuminated from within
Fatu is a survivor of FGM and an ambassador for No FGM Australia. You should be aware that she talks frankly about her experiences and that means some discussion of sexuality and the body parts involved as well as a bit of strong language.
That’s what you need to be - Growing up in the Ivory Coast social norms for beauty are super different to those in ‘the west’. In the West Africa Fatu grew up in, womanhood and beauty was very much about looking plump and healthy. So that’s what young women were conditioned to be, because that’s what men were looking for in a wife.
Isn't it fascinating how culture persists, that’s how important it is to us. Governing even things as personal as our relationship with our own bodies.
Coming to Australia Culture shock and mind-body separation -Remember the bizarre feeling of living in your body at 13? Fatu experienced all of that, while learning a new country and culture. Most of the time she was trying to simply survive and that threw up a strange situation where her body was a focal point for other people. It was simultaneously the biggest/least of her problems.
So many women are faced with that conflict and want to simply fade from view. Fatu speaks so candidly about taking steps to try to erase her difference, just to buy herself enough space to think.
Attraction & Objectification -
“At home - you’re being told what your body should be…”
“In Australia - there's an entire different set of standards projected onto you…”
“A waste of time a waste of energy and exhaustion...”
“I woke up one day and thought I am beautiful as I am”
Fatu
Colourism Is Often An Inside Job - I suppose this was about intergenerational trauma. How families pass on harmful norms because that’s what they themselves have inherited and how Fatu has learned to view these people in her own life with compassion. Yet she speaks out, to family and community so that those beliefs are not passed on to the next generation. A beautiful discussion and especially powerful considering the depth of experiences that Fatu has had to reconcile.
Owning Her Narrative and Feeling at Home in Her Body - “I don't get angry anymore. It’s part of me I’m going to embrace it”
Fatu
Being honest about her experience with FGM and it’s impact on her life and health was a risky choice, that must have taken a lot of courage. It’s transformed Fatu’s relationship with her sexuality and body image. She speaks her truth on this and so much else to own her narrative. To be comfortable with her stories is to be comfortable with the way they are carried by her body. She owns her scars and is proud to stand out and revel in her freedom. Pink braids, shining skin, short skirts and bra free if she wants to be. All I can say is Bravo Sis, you deserve every f-ing bit of it.
We all do.
