Hey Miggy! Miguel Cabrera is the 28th MLB player and first Venezuelan to reach 500 home runs. Patti’s pitcher pick Triston McKenzie is on a tear, plus extra credit for attention to qHar. Boyfriend highlights include Votto’s Abigal Effect, the return of Christian Yelich’s bat, Mountcastle’s streak, Cronenworth’s heroics, and an apology to Jo Adell. It’s Chipotle for everybody thanks to the work of Adopt a Minor Leaguer, the generosity of players Gabe Klobosits and Michael Wacha, and fans everywhere.

In the Police Blotter, we walk you through Sheryl Ring’s excellent explanation of the Trevor Bauer restraining order decision and what it means going forward, and explain The Baseball Rule (remember netting?). The Little League World Series is back with exactly one girl player (Yay, Ella Bruning), and pretty cool unis for the Classic game. Joe Ryan of Olympic qHar fame gets his first AAA start, the KBO’s Choi Jeong sets a dubious world record, and the Brothers win the first half of the CPBL season.

We say boy bands, repechage, and assumption of risk.

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