Does God play favorites? What does it mean to “increase in favor with God” as mentioned in Luke 2:52? Guest host Lindsey answers these questions and more in this episode all about strengthening our relationship with God. This is the third episode in a 4-part series on resolutions. nd making efforts to improve in four main areas of life. As a reminder, those four areas are education, physical fitness, spirituality, and relationships. We've decided to focus on these four areas because we read in Luke 2:52, that “Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.” Our hope with this series is that each of you, our sisters, will feel prompted to work on something in one or all of these areas that will help you grow to be a better woman. We've already talked about wisdom and stature with some wonderful guest hosts.
Courtney: Welcome to Hey, Sister! Episode 13. Today we're excited to dive into the topic of favor with God, with my dear friend, Lindsey Taylor. Lindsey is a wife and mother of five kind and strong kids ranging in age from four months to 10 years old.
She is one of the owners of Rock Solid, a rock climbing and fitness gym in Tucson, Arizona. Lindsey is a homeschool mom. And I would add that she's the OG [00:01:00] homeschool mom, because she was doing it long before it became popular during the pandemic. During the years, I have known Lindsey, I've been impressed and inspired by how she makes worship and her own spiritual progression a priority in her life. We're excited to have her on today so all of us can grow together as we discuss faith. Lindsey, welcome to Hey, Sister!
Lindsey: Thank you. Glad to be here.
Carley: First off, what does increasing in favor with God mean to you?
Lindsey: Well, we all know that God loves everyone.
And there's nothing you can do to make him love you more. But there are things that we can do that will allow us to be blessed more if that makes sense. And so to me in favor with God would mean that we do things that bless our lives because He blesses us for doing the things He asks of us
Carley: So like on our end, we're doing things to get closer to him, so those blessings are more obvious and apparent.
Lindsey: We can strengthen our relationship with God. [00:02:00]He can be our friend, or He can be someone we never think about. Our relationship with God is up to us, not up to Him because He’s always there.
He wants to be with us. I know that there's this picture of Christ at a door knocking and this picture has always kind of spoken to me because on the outside of the door, there is no handle. So you can only assume that the way to open the door is from the inside. To me, that's kind of symbolic of our relationship with God.
If we want to be close to him, we have to be the one to let him into our lives, but he's always there whether we want him to be or not, he's always there waiting and hoping that we'll let him in.
Courtney: I love that. I think as we were talking about the scripture, being in favor with God, I started thinking about that word.
And first of all, I read that scripture in the King James version, and so it's spelled favour with the U, which anytime I read a word like that favour, I'm like, Ooh, it's the fancy, it's the fancy favor. If you ever read words like flavour and it's got the U or glamour and it's got the U I'm like, Ooh, that's [00:03:00] extra glamorous.
So in favor with God, I chuckled because I think it's like different than just God playing favorites. It is this extra favor, which is up to us. We have to fill that gap because he doesn't play favorites and it's not like we're going to be his favorite child for making extra effort, but it will make us feel favored to him.
We will want to be in his presence more. I'm glad you're here, Lindsey. I've so respected how you make your spirituality such a natural part of your life. Every time I talk to you, it just emanates from you when you say any little thing about, well, in my scripture study this morning, or in the kid's scripture study, as you do your homeschool, like that is such a natural part of your day, that just seems effortless.
And for me, that's been something that I've personally struggled with because here my oldest is almost seven and I don't feel like I've been able to find consistency at any time during the past seven years to make my spiritual progression the most important thing to me, I feel like a whack-a-mole game constantly where I'm just putting out whatever fire is in front of [00:04:00] me.
Like take care of this kid, change this diaper, cook this meal, I constantly feel like a hot mess. Like we've already talked about hot mess express in a previous episode. That is how I feel most of the time. But this is the most important thing. I need you to tell us how to do this, so we're glad you're here.
Carley: How to grow in that spirituality.
Lindsey: Oh, thank you. I totally get what you're saying because motherhood takes up so much of your time, effort, your thoughts, your energy, and so saving some of that energy to draw closer to God can be definitely a challenge. And I think it's an individual thing.
Everyone has to find out what works for them to get that nearness, but I think as long as you make it a priority, it will happen at some point, even if it's just enough to get through the parenting. Eventually you will have more time and can strengthen that relationship.
But I think as a mother, you automatically have God's favor with you because he's very happy that you've chosen motherhood and he wants to help you through motherhood, which can be difficult, but also still [00:05:00] rewarding.
Carley: I think we need to, like, just sit on that first, second, yeah.
Just knowing that already that is bringing us closer, in favor with God. So thank you for saying that.
Courtney: That reminds me have, y'all seen that popular image that keeps going around on social media about that? It talks about how men in the scriptures always seem to go to the mountains to talk to God, but God comes to women.
Because women don't have the time to go to the mountain to talk to God. And it makes me laugh.
Carley: Women go to the well.
Courtney: Women go to the well that's right.
Women go to the well, we go to the store. No, just kidding, that's very stereotypical but I do all the shopping. It's fine.
I like what Lindsay said, because God does come to us. So thank you for saying that, sometimes in those moments, when you want to be hard on yourself, that you're not having daily scripture study for 10 minutes or 15 minutes or 30 minutes a day. I feel like I used to be so good about that when I was in high school, like I was a great script, I mean, not a scriptorium ever, but I would make that a regular practice. Whereas now I'm like, living on a prayer. I really am. I'm lucky to say a prayer at the end of the day. And sometimes I don't read a scripture a day and I don't read a scripture in a week [00:06:00] unless I'm preparing a lesson or something.
So anyway, I’m excited that we can talk about this. Lindsey, what are some ways that we can increase in favor with God? How can we grow our spirituality?
Lindsey: I have a few thoughts on that. I find the one thing that maybe we don't think about in getting closer to God is just being someone who is full of love and who is trying to serve other people, even if that's just your children, which sometimes that's all we have time in the day for is serving your own children.
But when you do things that God would do, you are getting closer to Him. Because you are getting to know what He is like. He spent his whole life sacrificing for other people. And so every time we make a small sacrifice for someone else, we are learning who he is. And that's a big part of any relationship is getting to know that person putting yourself in their shoes.
So I would say that our relationship with God takes effort. It takes work and just like a good relationship with your husband, it takes effort. It takes [00:07:00] work in your relationship. You have to be intentional about that relationship
Lindsey: So another way to get closer to God is by living righteously. If we choose to keep his commandments and do what He has asks us to do, we will get closer to him. We will be in more favor with him. And then learning about him through scripture or however you decide to actually learn about who he is.
You'll get closer to him. And then the last one I wanted to mention, which probably is the way that I get closest to God is through prayer. And there's a lot of different ways to pray. Everyone has their own way, but prayer to me is a conversation with a friend and it's also work. It is intentionally refocusing and visualizing. It takes imagination and it takes faith. All of those things are combined as you pray and strengthen your relationship with God in that way.
Carley: That's awesome. Thank you so much. We mentioned it before, as Courtney was saying,[00:08:00] , how in high school she had gone through this or different phases we might go through in life. When did you feel like this value for your relationship with God really began for you?
Lindsey: Well, I don't know if it’s because I had great parents or if I just have been blessed this way, but I feel like I've always had a relationship with God.
And I don't know how many people can say that. I'm sure there's a lot of people who can, but for me, I look back and I remember the time in elementary school when I lost a ring in the sandbox and looked all over for it and couldn't find it. And I said a prayer and then immediately found it.
I felt like that was one of the first times when I knew that God was there and of course someone had taught me how to pray, which I am forever grateful for that. I had someone who's taught me how to pray, but it's these small little things that started at the beginning of my life that have helped me have a relationship with God.
Courtney: Lindsey, one of the things I love that you just talked about was that prayer takes imagination. Could you elaborate on that a little?
Lindsey: I would love [00:09:00] to. So there is, a verse in scripture that' uses the phrase “eye of faith” and I have pondered on that over and over and what I've decided it means to me, I don't know what it means to other people, but to have an “eye of faith” means that you can see something, even though it hasn't happened yet.
Sometimes what that means is when you're praying you imagine what Heavenly Father looks like. So that you might feel like a more intimate relationship with him or you might feel it's easier to talk to him by imagining him there, but that takes effort, right? It's more than just saying a few words before bed and flopping into bed for the night.
It takes effort to get yourself to that place where you're really meditating. You're really thinking about what you're doing. And the other reason why I said imagination is because prayer is often a way that we ask God for things. We hopefully are being grateful in our prayers as well, but we also, most of the time, need things in our life.
And so we ask for them. And faith [00:10:00] is an action word. You can't just wish on a star. That's not prayer. Prayer. Asking for something and visualizing it as if it happened. That is faith. That's when you're putting the faith into action, because whatever that might be, that blessing that you are in need of or the help that you need for the next day, you can imagine how it will be if God was to help you with that.
Carley: So profound, but like intuitive as well, because, as you read a book or something, you're visualizing the story that's going on. And it takes that imagination. Not that this in in any way fiction, but you're just trying to utilize the hope and the faith that you have to be intentional and focused during that prayer, which has always been something that's been hard for me. I think my mind is more like a pinball machine sometimes. And so trying to bring it in and act as if I'm actually talking to someone, I would not talk to someone in person like I sometimes say my prayer where I'm just a little [00:11:00] wandering.
So intentionally visualizing. What you're asking for and how that could come to be, I think is just taking it the next step and feeling like work, like you said.
Lindsey: And sometimes when you go through that process of visualizing or imagining what it would be like the next day if you had God's help, through that process, he can speak with you.
He can reveal to you. Well, maybe this is how it should be done, or have you thought about this idea? You can receive inspiration that way as well. And the process is all about getting your will aligned with God's will. And that is a process, we think we know what we need all the time, but through real prayer, I think that you can converse with God and he might put into your thoughts, “Well, have you tried this or let's do it this way.” And through that process, you can maybe receive even something [00:12:00] better than what you'd imagined for yourself because that's the way God works.
He has a better plan. He sees the bigger picture. And so that's how I like to look at prayer is aligning your will with his, which, oftentimes it takes a little humility, right?
Courtney: It totally does. I think some of my most profound prayers have been in times when something's before me that I don't want to do. whether it be with moving or other life situations that I didn't feel like I was capable of handling and my will did get in alignment with his and I had to be prompted on how to do things.
So I think that that's really important. There are a lot of obstacles to overcome when you're trying to create a better relationship with God though, because it is a hard thing in this day and age. As you mentioned, Lindsey, one of the ways we can grow in favor with God is by living the commandments.
There are a lot of people who are like, no, God wouldn't have expectations of his children. If you believe in God, you wouldn't believe in a God that has expectations. So I feel like that in itself can be an obstacle. If you feel the commandments are a list [00:13:00] of expectations or rules you don't want to follow. How can you grow in favor with God or a parent that has requirements of you? Heaven forbid that somebody should ask you to do anything in this day and age and have a expectation. I guess my question to you in all of that, in this long explanation, would be what obstacles have you had to overcome to increase your relationship with god?
Lindsey: Great question. And first I want to touch on something you said. That some people's attitude about the commandments would be, “Well, why would he expect anything of us?” I can see how you would view things that way but my come back to that would be, well, what blessings are you in need of?
I see these commandments as an opportunity. When I keep a commandment, I know that the Lord blesses me in some way. Those blessings can come in different ways, but commandments are a way to show God that you love him. And then he in return blesses you. I see that as a joy. If I do something he wants me to do, he's going to [00:14:00] bring joy to my life in some way, because of it.
As you were talking, that’s just a thought that came to my mind. But as far as obstacles go, just the other night when I was nursing my baby to sleep, I was looking through my phone, just wasting time. And then I was thinking about doing this podcast and how do I draw closer to God and I thought well, why am I using this time to look at my phone?
There's something else I could be doing. And I actually took that time to just put my phone down and just start praying. You can pray anywhere. God will listen to you. That was an opportunity for me to use my time more wisely and to use that time to get closer to him.
So, today our obstacles are just everything that is trying to grab our attention. And a lot of it's always right there in our pocket.
Courtney: That goes back to what you're saying too, with a conversation with a friend, speaking of conversations late at night, I was talking to my husband. And he actually was finishing texting somebody that he works with.
And as I was talking to him, he was sending a [00:15:00] text message. And then he asked me a question and I started to answer him and being the brat that I am, I noticed that he was still looking at his phone while he'd asked me the question. And I said, are you done?
He looked at me and he was like, yes, I'm done. And put his phone down. Cause I guess I'm spoiled enough that I'm like, I want your full attention. If you're going to be asking me a question, I'll tell you the answer, but I don't want to say it twice. That's one of my biggest pet peeves. I don't like to repeat myself.
And so when he asked me that question, I was like, I appreciate that you're asking me. I’ll tell you, but I'm not going to tell you while you're still texting. And I think that's one of those things that I'm sure God gets really tired of, that we're all distracted as we're praying. And I had a woman once tell me in an awesome Southern accent, that that's why she said her prayers out loud because she said, if I try and say my prayers in my head, I start telling God the price of flour and sugar and telling him what's on my grocery list, because that's where your mind goes.
If you're just praying in your head, it's easy to divert, but then [00:16:00] at the same time, there are times where that's all you can do in that moment is just pray in your head and think what you're thinking in your head without speaking it out loud. But I've learned that if I don't at least mouth the words, even if silently, I will lose my train of thought and I'll derail really quick.
Lindsey: Yeah, I think that's really good advice. I agree that spoken prayers help me stay focused as well.
Carley: So Lindsey, how has this pursuit of your spirituality helped you personally develop into the woman you want to be?
Lindsey: I had a conversation with a dear friend a few years ago. I love her to death, but she's always been in and out of relationships and just really struggled with her self-esteem and she once said to me, you know, Lindsay, you have so much confidence. You have more confidence than most people I know. How do you have that kind of confidence? And I never really thought of myself in that way before, so it took me back, but as I thought about it, all of my confidence comes from knowing that I have a relationship with God and that he loves me. And just [00:17:00] knowing that simple thing that God loves me, just makes everything in my life a little bit better, a little bit smoother.
It doesn't mean there's never obstacles or hard things that happen, but I have always held on to that belief so strongly because it throughout my entire life has been my rock to know that. Even through those teenage years, when I felt alone or in college, when I didn't know what direction I was going, I still had that confidence that God loved me that made everything better.
If there was one wish I had for everyone in the world, it would be that you could feel that love even if it was just one time to feel that warmth and peace that he can fill you with as you turn to him.
Carley: I am sure that’s why God wanted us grow closer to him was to gain that perspective, that confidence like you spoke of in our life.
And so with this new year and the goals that we're trying to set, and looking back at this scripture in Luke and seeing how it's lined [00:18:00] out, what the savior did himself and how we in following our savior, Jesus Christ can also strive to grow in these different areas: in favor with God should be top of our list.
And sometimes that gets shuffled a little lower because there are so many things that are more outward or maybe a need in the small day-to-day moments. But what we all really crave is that confidence that you spoke of. The relationship with God.
We can continue growing. I think that growth is really what we're going for here. That's what we want for all of our sisters or everyone on the earth, is for there to be, this understanding. The support. I like how you said at the beginning that our God is always constant and we're getting to know him through these acts.
And we are living these things. We're learning of our savior. We're trying and doing our best to bridge that gap that we feel here on this earth and [00:19:00] more and more so today.This is so wonderful and I'm so inspired listening to you as you talk about prayer, because it's something that's been hard for me to vocalize.
It's hard for me to pray out loud and I was even telling my husband this the other day. Cause I said I don't know why it's hard for me do that, even with you and personally, you know, across from our bed. I always felt like it was so personal that you should do it away in your closet and never let anyone see you pray.
So just understanding that it is for the connection and just doing what is best for you in order to improve that connection and not be as concerned how it might be seen.
Courtney: It is a very personal experience. Your spiritual journey is personal. And I think we're seeing right now, this shift from formal worship and religion and going and attending church to making it almost a solely personal journey.
And that kind of makes me sad a little bit 'cause I liked how Carley used the word support as well as Lindsey. I feel so much [00:20:00] support from my own family but also one step further worshiping with other members of my church at a church service.
So Lindsey, what would you say to that balance of personal journey spirituality and formal worshiping in a religious institution?
Lindsey: I would say that your personal relationships is the first thing that you do need to work on, but as I talked about before, one way to get closer to God is to serve and to love.
And going to church has really made that a possibility for me. When you are with other people, and you gain those close bonds, you find ways to serve and to love, and it opens up your family. Your family becomes bigger than just you and your little family because you're worshiping with other people and they might need you.
And so I think sometimes when you think outwardly and not just think about what do I need, but think about what other people need, you may find that your relationship grows with God, more than you ever believed that it could.
Carley: If you think that of prayer as a stepping stone, even for God's purpose [00:21:00] for us, he wants us to learn how to manage ourselves and grow a relationship with him individually, and, as our family to teach our children who God is and how to feel spirit and all that they do.
Then we're learning about the other people that we meet day-to-day in a congregation setting. You know, you're sharing those spiritual moments. You're looking for those opportunities to serve. And then that really should propel us to get to know others and to open our arms to other people that are not like us.
I think he wants us to learn how to serve and how to do those things so that we can help other people feel loved by him through us. I think that is important to think of as we're doing things to grow personally, like Lindsay said, it's service oriented, because that's exactly what the savior showed us in his life.
Lindsey: We live in a selfish world in way. Whether that's advertising or whatever it is that turns us so [00:22:00] inward, in this day and age, but I think that's a lot of reason why also people aren't feeling maybe as much joy or happiness and are struggling with finding happiness is because when you're thinking about just yourself and what you need all the time, there's no joy in that.
It’s the looking out and looking for others to help that really brings joy. And I believe that to be true because I felt that throughout my life, the times that I've really reached out and served others have been the most joyous of my life.
Courtney: I think that goes back to even what you'd mentioned, finding favor with God, one of the ways is living commandments and I didn't think about it until literally what you just said, but when you're looking at advertisements, one of the main results of that is feelings of jealousy and there’s a commandment right there, one of the top 10. wW're not supposed to covet. And I think that's an important aspect to consider is that sometimes that's what advertising and media has us doing is just thinking about what you don't have and that you need it.
And there's a commandment right there that if you could figure out a way to not be jealous and to not be looking at what you [00:23:00] don't have, you could feel closer to God. I agree with you. I think that this world is becoming increasingly selfish it's sad. And I know that I’m guilty of it myself. Sometimes I need to have reality checks and that's in part why we're doing this podcast and why we're trying to focus on this, how to grow in favor with God. I think even that would be like my own takeaway from this is I need to do better at that, in this area.
There's gotta be a commandment I can focus on to try and feel closer to God. And I think that's a good one to start with. So we've talked about how you've become the woman you want to be through increasing in favor with God, how you've increased in your relationship with God, obviously through trying to increase your spirituality.
And then it sounds like you've increased in your relationships with your fellow men by worshiping through church. Is there any other ways that you've increased in your ability make friends or have relationships through trying to grow closer to God.
Lindsey: Yeah. I want to share, something that stuck with me I learned this a while back. When it comes to marriage, if you picture triangle with the point at the top. If your husband is on one side of the [00:24:00] triangle and you are on the other side of the triangle, and God is the point at the top of the triangle. If you and your husband are both getting closer to God, you’re also getting closer to each other.
I don't know if you've heard that before, but that really has stuck with me and I just believe it to be true. As you get closer to God and your husband gets closer to God, you're getting closer to each other.
And there's reasons for that because when you're becoming like God or trying to do the things he want you to do, you're becoming a better person and he's becoming a better person. And you're both learning to look past each other's weaknesses. So keeping God in your relationship as a couple, I think is really important and can really help your marriage be stronger.
Courtney: And that's an incredibly important relationship to try and better, that's one of the most important relationships that we have on this earth. That's a crucial one to talk about.
Lindsey, it's been a complete delight to have you. Is there anything else on this topic of increasing in favor with God that you could share with our sisters?
Lindsey: I want to share one [00:25:00] experience. It might be helpful to some of you sisters out there. When my husband was a resident, he's an oral surgeon now, but he spent four years as a resident. And that meant a lot of long hours of him not around. And there was a lot of kind of trials and ups and downs throughout that period of time as he was a resident.
But, I do remember one particular day that was for some reason out of the ordinary, harder than others. And I had made a commitment that I would always pray and read a scripture with my kids every night, even when my husband was not home, which was a lot of the time. He usually left before they woke up and the kids were asleep before he got home.
That was the usual. And he was, spending the night at the hospital one or two times a week, because he was on call. So it was a difficult time in our lives, but this one particular night, I remember thinking is this really doing anything for my . family? Like my kids were all under the age of six.
I think I had three kids under the age of six and I was pregnant and probably tired and [00:26:00] sick and just feeling like just brushing their teeth before bed was extremely hard. But this one particular time where I was feeling like, oh, is this even important? I remember kneeling down in my kids room.
I finally gathered them all in one room and we read a scripture and I said a prayer. And after the prayer, I just was filled with so much warmth and peace and the words that came to my mind, were I know you are trying and it matters to me. And I just knew that even though it was tough and maybe no one was even learning anything, but it meant something to God that I was doing it.
And he was grateful that I was doing it. I just always remember that experience because sometimes especially as a mother it's a lot of work and not a lot of credit. And I think any mom who's out there, who's trying, I say good job. The Lord is very pleased with you and just keep at it.
Keep the consistency. [00:27:00] It will make a difference and the Lord is grateful.
Courtney: I love that story so much. That touches my heart so much. Especially this week when I had a pediatrician appointment and my daughter outed me that I don't make my kids brush their teeth in the morning. I was like, it's too hard. I keep up with you at night. It's your job to brush your teeth in the morning.
That's a little TMI, but the pediatrician was like, And do you brush your teeth every morning? Here it was a break. And so all of my kids were in the pediatrician's office. Like all four of them are in this tiny little office. And the pediatrician saying, do you brush your teeth?
My one daughter said no. And then the rest of them just all started shaking their heads “No.” And she looks at me and I'm like 10 shades of red under my mask. Cause I'm like, please don't lecture me. It's so hard to get kids to brush their teeth. And yeah.
Trying to do that all by yourself is I'm sure super hard. I've not had a husband go through residency, so I'm glad you've shared that perspective. Cause that's always a good reminder to realize that I think it's easy for us to get into our own pity parties of how things get hard. But to hear that Lindsay makes me think, you know what? I can do better at scripture study and personal [00:28:00]prayers and making my kids brush their teeth in the morning. So thank you.
Carley: Mostly the spiritual things.
Courtney: I know, I know
Courtney: Lindsay. So as you know, our podcast ends with a call to action for our sisters, a tangible takeaway that they can apply this week so that they can increase in the area that we're talking about.
So for today, increasing in favor with God, do you have a call to action for our sisters to apply?
Lindsey: Yes. How about everyone this week try their hardest to see prayer as a real conversation with God and to work at it, work at it and make it meaningful. And hopefully by the end of the week of praying like that for a week, you'll be able to feel a difference in your life and feel a little more connection.
Okay?
Carley: I love that. Thank you so much, Lindsey. That was awesome. We're all looking for connection. And speaking of connection, we want to remind you sisters, if you want to connect with us on social media, [00:29:00] it's @HeySistePodcast. We'd love to hear from you there.
Courtney: We'll see you next week with our final episode in our four part series on increasing in wisdom, stature, favor with God and favor with man. So don't forget to join us next week for how to increase in favor with man and learn what that means.
Lindsey Thanks for joining us.
Courtney: Have a great week.
(Outtakes)
Carley: Because I don't have anything written down. Courtney writes my, my notes for me.
Courtney: Well, and I've got my Phoebe Buffet, sultry voice, going on over here. I do feel like I'm like about to start singing smelly cat with my voice.
