WOOAHHHHHH, BABY! IT'S HEYNA 31! A FRIDAY EDITION OF THE FAMED HEYNA PODCAST!!! HAHAHA!!! LISTEN, SORRY ABOUT WEDNESDAY.. OKAY? YOU CAN COME OUT NOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SCARED. C'MERE. C'MERE, GET OUT FROM UNDER THAT BED. YOU OKAY? YOU STILL AFRAID? WANT DADDY TO GET YOU A GLASS OF WARM MILK? YOU DO? OKAY, I'LL GET RIGHT ON THAT. ONE SECOND, DADDY WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 

OKAY, HERE YOU GO. LET ME SIT ON THE EDGE OF YOUR BED. YEAH, GET UNDER THOSE SHEETS. GET COZY. SO THE FIRST TIME I EVER PERFORMED CUNNILINGUS, I WAS 14. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING. IT WAS SUMMER AT THE PAUPACK AND I WAS FEELING WILD AND RAW. AND I MET THIS GIRL, WHO'S NOW YOUR MOTHER. SHE WAS WORKIN' AT THE SNACK BAR NEAR THE LAKE'S EAST SHORE. SHE WAS PLAYING COY WITH ME. YOU KNOW? ALWAYS GIVIN' ME THE SIDE-EYE GLANCE, CHECKIN' OUT MY BAIT AND TACKLE HUNG SNUG IN MY SPANDEX. HAHA, THOSE WERE THE DAYS. 

ANYWAY, I FINALLY GOT HER TO STOP BIRD-DOGGIN' ME AND GO OUT ON A DATE TO THE LOCAL DRIVE-IN. TOP GUN WAS PLAYIN' THAT WEEKEND. BUT WE WEREN'T WATCHING NO FIGHTER JETS-- I WAS PERFORMING CUNNILINGUS ON YOUR MOTHER. IT TASTED A BIT LIKE TREE SAP. TREE SAP AND HMM.. A BIT OF MUST, I GUESS. 

SHE TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME RIGHT THEN AND THERE, AS I WAS DOWN THERE PERFORMING CUNNILINGUS. SHE SAID: "I LOVE YOU, BUDDY JONES-HOWERY." AND I LOOKED UP, JUICE ALL OVER MY MAW, AND WHISPERED: "I LOVE YOU TOO, CINNAMON." AND I PROCEEDED TO TICKLE HER ANUS WITH MY PINKY AS THE CAR HEADLIGHTS THAT SURROUNDED US BATHED YOUR MOTHER IN A SOFT, YELLOW GLOW. SHE LOOKED LIKE AN ANGEL. 

ANYWAY, ENJOY THE PODCAST. DADDY ISN'T GOIN' ANYWHERE, BABY.