Erich Viedge interviews Chris Deaton about polyamory and BDSM 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:15 Announcements  We'll be at Southwest Love Festin Tucson, AZ April 7-9 And we'll be at RelateCon in Boise, ID April 27-29  2:00 Poly in the news  The tabloids are loving poly story packages 6:30 Interview: Chris Deaton on hierarchy and power dynamics in polyamory Our South African correspondent Erich Viedge interviews researcher Chris Deaton on hierarchy and power dynamics in polyamory. He is doing a survey on how power exchange in BDSM poly relationships are reflected in poly relationships that might otherwise be egalitarian. 279 Polyamory and BDSM with Raven Kalera 538 Coming out to your kids with Casey Blake 28:00 How to make this podcast better Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”  

546 Hierarchies and power dynamics in poly

Minx and her listeners discuss loving more and polyamory, the lifestyle of being involved in more than one commited, long-term, loving relationship with the full knowledge and consent of all parties involved. In this community-driven show, each week Minx talks sex, relationships, communication, family, erotica, psychology, orgasms and anything else that comes up in the ins and outs of the daily polyamorous lifestyle.

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How do you handle moving, job loss, death, and other relationship changes? 00:30 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com We’re heading to Croatia for a vacation!  2:12 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner The gap between people’s stated positions and what they actually vote for. 5:28 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 5:51 Interview: Dan and dawn on poly change management Dan and dawn have been a lifestyle couple since 2001 and have presented at over 100 events around North America. Not only do they enjoy teaching workshops and classes, they also share via books, specialized events, and fun consent negotiation playing cards! They were last on Poly Weekly in 2014 on episode 400: Poly for introverts. They are also the co-hosts of the Erotic Awakening Podcast, an educational show that explores “all things erotic” since 2011; co-founders of the Columbus Space, an alternative community center; 2016 MAsT International Member’s Choice Presenter of the Year Award winner; Great Lakes region title holders (2010); creators of the Scarlet Sanctuary and Path of the Qadishti (sacred sexuality spaces); featured educators on both Kink Academy and Creative Sexuality; and mentioned in a number of books, articles, and other media. Poly change management  Embrace the power of “I don’t know” Balance appreciating what you have with mourning the loss of a partner or lifestyle Understand that emotions happen Change is a type of loss. Don’t avoid that grief; lean in to it. Update your partner before your Facebook status  Find Dan and Dawn at Erotic Awakening, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Find their polyamory toolkit here. 26:30 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 27:15 Listener question A listener writes in asking for advice on continuing a romantic relationship. She was poly but agreed to marry her now-husband P with the idea that they would open up the marriage later. She has a friend of seven years, J, with whom she recently connected and wants to pursue a romantic relationship. She is anxious every time J goes on a date with someone else, fearing he’ll dump her for someone who will be monogamous with him. How does she avoid getting hurt by love?  You don’t. To love is to risk vulnerability. You minimize risk by minimizing joy and intimacy. Take the Buddhist approach: embrace love, accept the pain that comes with it. If you really want to minimize pain, have some difficult conversations. Where is P in all this? Does he support you? Talk through best and worst case scenarios with P and J.  35:25 Feedback Herbalwise recommends the 2014 movie The One I Love as semi-poly-friendly. 36:25 Thank you! Welcome NS to the Poly Weekly playmates! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

605 Poly change management

Leanne is a bisexual, autistic, Asian poly polyamory educator, influencer, comedian, blogger, community mentor, and founder of Poly Philia, the largest page dedicated to non-monogamy education in the UK. 00:30 Introduction and host chat If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com 00:40 Poly in the news  Leanne was on the British version of Fox News talking about polyamory, and she ran circles around the host! 3:00 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner A white cis man’s view on abortion. Our big mistake is loading abortion with value and framing it as a women’s issue. It’s an issue of civil rights and bodily autonomy for all of us. 08:40 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 09:30 Interview: Leanne, PolyPhilia Leanne is a polyamory educator, influencer, comedian, blogger, community mentor, and founder of Poly Philia, the largest page dedicated to non-monogamy education in the UK. She created the #PolyamoryTipoftheDay series, and has narrated several polyamory audiobooks. Her polyamory advocacy is influenced by her experiences as a bisexual, autistic, Chinese woman.  Her poly origin story Why she started the PolyPhilia blog How to meme (Minx asks for a tutorial!) On being Asian and poly On being autistic and poly (her own experience only) How the hell do I use TikTok?  She offers peer support to non-monogamous individuals and couples worldwide, polyamory merch, Ko-Fi (like Patreon) with exclusive content for supporters, and narrates audiobooks about polyamory. All her links in one place. Her blog is here, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok channels.   41:45 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 42:10 Feedback Thanks to David for writing in with such nice compliments, including “Your show has been nothing but truly enlightening to me.” 43:30 Happy poly moment Lusty Guy shares his own happy poly moment! Thank you! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.      

603 PolyPhilia

Emily Blake and Gabriel Figueroa share their goal with their new animated sex ed series, Welcome to Kinkyville. Support their Kickstarter here! 00:30 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com The empathy gap and why it’s hard to predict your behavior in a hot state when you’re in a cold state. Related to our idea of “experience shock.”  Hidden Brain podcast The Empathy Gap A group at Harvard Law School, PLAC (Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition, which is an  initialism), is working on  legal protections for poly folks. The Harvard Law article.  08:16 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner: is it legal to require vaccines? This issue was settled definitely by the Supreme Court in 1905 with Jacobson V Massachusetts. 13:19 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 14:15 Topic: Welcome to Kinkyville We interview Gabriel Figueroa and Emily Blake about their new animated sex-ed series, Welcome to Kinkyville. Emily and is a polyamorous switch and screenwriter who over the last three years has been developing Welcome To Kinkyville. She has been on more than one list of writers with great potential who almost sold a screenplay.  She's a script supervisor, an obsessive Dungeons and Dragons player, and a geek fashion designer. But mostly, she's on a crusade to rid the world of sexual shame and abuse brought on by years of oppressive societal conditioning. She is on Twitter a LOT. Gabriel is was born and raised in Puerto Rico. He now lives in Hollywood where he is a professional trailer editor who's created commercials for Hollywood studios, streaming platforms and independent productions. He uses Twitter to raise awareness about polyamory and kink. Above all, he is known for his serious collection of hats and BDSM accoutrements. Back their Kickstarter campaign, check out the Kinkyville Facebook page, their Kinkyville’s Twitter, the Kinkyville’s Instagram, their YouTube, and Emily’s Twitter account. 30:10 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 30:20 Feedback The guy from  episode 432 writes in with an update! 31:12 Happy poly moment S shares an NRE happy poly moment. 32:20 Thank you! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

603 Welcome to Kinkyville

A listener falls in love with a relapsed, suicidal alcoholic and asks how to move forward when her husband hates this new relationship that makes her so happy. 0:45 Introduction and host chat If you’re under 18, visit www.scarleteen.com 1:30 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner: look at your party’s track record The next time you’re wondering about what side of any given political debate to adopt, consider the track record of the folk advocating for each given side. If they are among those who think the 2020 election was stolen, say, you can reasonably assume they have a long track record of being wrong. And, as we all know, past behavior is the best predictor of future performance. 6:20 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 6:30 Topic: My husband doesn’t like that I’m dating a relapsed, suicidal alcoholic A married listener is dating a relapsed alcoholic. When her husband asked her to stop seeing him, she tried, but he was too drunk to understand and then threatened suicide. A while later she took up with him again and tried to get him into a facility, and then she started not telling her husband when she was seeing him. How do you go forward when your husband hates the new relationship that makes you happy?  Loving an addict is hard What does N’s wife have to say about his behavior? Forming feelings before meeting someone face to face is a warning sign This is why addicts lose everyone before they bottom out Put yourself and your safety (not your feelings) first  Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 18:05 Feedback In response to  episode 485, Kate says that aromantic folks call that emotion “squish” 18:50 Happy poly moment A happy v in Montana! Thank you! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

602 Loving an addict

A listener in a hierarchical relationship with her nesting partner asks how to start the conversation about moving to a more egalitarian one. 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com In  episode 189 of the Normalizing Non-Monogamy podcast, the guest Brea said they used  Eight Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory Before I Tried It and Frakked It Up!  2:50 Poly in the news  Folks are getting serious about creating a new poly flag 5:00 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner: A note to my fellow white people White people don’t always know what racism is, and saying “I don’t see color” or confuse intentions with outcomes are signs that you don’t understand. Whites should listen to the Black voices around you and read  How to be an Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi to start understanding. 9:35 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 10:00 Topic: Shifting from hierarchy to equality A listener has a nesting partner, and when they started, they agreed to a hierarchy. Now she has a boyfriend, and she feels forced to make her boyfriend feel like a secondary partner. How does she open up a conversation with her nesting partner about moving to a more egalitarian model?  Be brave and bring it up! Ask for what you want. Hear your partner’s needs without taking them personally. Maybe a theoretical And then what? exercise and start doing regular check-ins, if you’re not already. Equal or egalitarian? Equality or fairness? Equal respect, not equal outcomes. Define “hierarchy.” Get specific about new desired behaviors.  21:00 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 21:05 Feedback  Politics corner should be its own podcast, redux Feedback on the Israeli-Palestine conflict from episode 599  21:50 Happy poly moment Elbereth shares a happy poly moment from Europe. Thank you! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

546 Hierarchies and power dynamics in poly

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