This week, Lisa and Lisa are asking why midlife women are so ready to fight, flee, or freeze over the smallest things. Have years of chronic stress, Gen X trauma, menopause, and being the responsible one left us permanently stuck in fight mode? Or have we simply had enough? Honestly, it could be all of the above.

Along the way, Lisa S becomes the angry Amazon customer she used to hate, Lisa W explains exactly what happens when somebody hurts Doug's feelings, someone makes the mistake of telling us to smile, Lisa runs away from Trent Reznor, and we revisit the time the two of us sat in an airplane exit row studying the evacuation instructions like the fate of America depended on us.

And then there's the storage container.

Because sometimes you're furious about the Amazon package, the Teams message, the Tupperware, or the couch.

And sometimes it was never about the couch.

If you've ever caught yourself thinking, “Why am I so angry?” or “Why did that tiny thing set me off?” — pull up a chair. You're among friends.

High Five Hot Mess is the comedy comfort podcast for midlife women — the questions stuck in your group chat, said out loud.

00:00:00 — Everything Feels Urgent
00:09:39 — Fight, Flight or Freeze
00:18:31 — Living on High Alert
00:28:29 — Menopause and Anger
00:33:35 — What Actually Helps
00:40:58 — Friendship and Boundaries

Listen on Apple Podcasts: High Five Hot Mess on Apple Podcasts
Listen on Spotify: High Five Hot Mess on Spotify
Watch on YouTube: High Five Hot Mess on YouTube
Follow on Instagram: @highfivehotmess
Follow on TikTok: @highfivehotmesspod

Have you ever wondered if you're actually happier alone… or if you've just gotten really good at protecting your peace?

This week on High Five Hot Mess, Lisa Wilson and Lisa Smith tackle a question more women seem to be asking than ever before:

Are we better off alone?

From dating before cell phones to navigating relationships after 50, we talk honestly about the expectations Gen X women grew up with, why so many women are choosing to stay single, and whether companionship is something we truly need—or simply something we've always been told we should want.

• Why loving your alone time isn't something to apologize for
• The relationship rules Gen X women grew up believing
• Dating after 50 (and where do you even meet people?)
• The "Swamp Witch Era" and protecting your peace
• Why more women are choosing to stay single
• Why separate bedrooms aren't a relationship problem
• The difference between wanting a partner and needing one
• Why independence changes the way we think about relationships
• Team Companionship vs. Team Leave Me Alone

This isn't an episode about convincing you to stay single or find a partner.

It's two lifelong friends asking an honest question—and discovering that there isn't one right answer.

💛 We want to hear from you!

Are you Team Companionship or Team Leave Me Alone?

Let us know in the comments or send us a message!

🎧 Listen & Follow High Five Hot Mess

🍎 Apple Podcasts
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/high-five-hot-mess/id1759165758

🎥 YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@HighFiveHotMess

🌐 Website
https://highfivehotmesspod.com/

📸 Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/highfivehotmess/

💙 Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/highfivehotmesspod

🎵 TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@highfivehotmess

🧵 Threads
https://www.threads.com/@highfivehotmess

Family emergencies don't just test your plan—they test your family.

Most of us prepare wills, insurance, and paperwork. Very few of us prepare for what happens to our relationships when someone gets sick, a parent needs care, or life suddenly changes.

This week, Lisa sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Ryan Wynder, LMFT, to talk about the conversations every family should have before a crisis, why siblings often fall into familiar roles, how to navigate conflict without destroying relationships, and why the crisis doesn't create family dynamics—it simply turns up the volume.

Whether you're caring for aging parents, supporting a loved one through illness, or simply want to prepare your family before life changes, this episode will give you practical tools you can use today.

• Why families avoid difficult conversations
• The 3 conversations every family should have before a crisis
• Why one sibling often becomes "the responsible one"
• How to stay curious instead of defensive
• Ryan's favorite communication tool: "The story I'm telling myself..."
• Setting healthy boundaries without guilt
• Caregiver burnout and why you can't pour from an empty cup
• Why winning the argument isn't the same as saving the relationship
• One conversation every family should have this month

🌐 Website: https://www.ryanwynder.com
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thevegastherapist
🎙️ Podcast: The Vegas Therapist with Ryan Wynder
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-vegas-therapist-ryan-wynder/id1457074143

📖 Finding Meaning — David Kessler
https://www.grief.com/books/finding-meaning/

📖 Set Boundaries, Find Peace — Nedra Glover Tawwab
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/647316/set-boundaries-find-peace-by-nedra-glover-tawwab/

🌐 Website: https://highfivehotmesspod.com

🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/high-five-hot-mess-podcast

▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighFiveHotMess

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highfivehotmess

👍 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/highfivehotmesspod

💬 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@highfivehotmess

If you've ever thought, "Help! I Need an Adult," this series is for you. Every episode brings in trusted experts to help us navigate life's biggest challenges.

High Five Hot Mess Podcast

Nobody prepares you for the moment you realize you're becoming the adult.

When a parent begins showing signs of dementia, families are suddenly faced with impossible questions:

• Is this normal aging or dementia?
• When should we step in?
• How do we help without taking away independence?
• What happens when siblings don't agree?
• When is it time for memory care?

In this episode of Help! I Need an Adult, Lisa Wilson and Lisa Smith sit down with Dr. Natali Edmonds, founder of Dementia Careblazers, board-certified geropsychologist, dementia expert, and author of The Dementia Care Toolkit, to talk about what every family wishes they knew before becoming a caregiver.

Together they discuss:

• Early signs of dementia
• The biggest mistakes families make
• When to ask for help
• Caregiver burnout
• Sibling conflict
• Memory care
• Long-term planning
• How to prepare before a crisis
• How to care for someone you love without losing yourself in the process

Whether you're caring for a parent today or simply know this day may come, this conversation will help you feel more prepared—and a little less alone.

📚 The Dementia Care Toolkit
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1394389639

🌐 Website
https://careblazers.com

▶️ YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/c/DementiaCareblazers

📘 Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/DementiaCareblazers

📸 Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/dementia_careblazers

🎵 TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@dementia_careblazers

🎙 Apple Podcasts
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/high-five-hot-mess-podcast/id1883400763

🎧 Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/show/2Q4hSMzZMwilO1S81NLFT7

▶️ YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@HighFiveHotMessPodcast

📸 Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/highfivehotmess

🎵 TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@highfivehotmesspod

🌐 Website
https://highfivehotmesspod.com

What does a Death Doula do, and when should your family call one?

We know what a birth doula is, but what is a death doula?

In this episode of Help! I Need an Adult, we're joined by Traci Arieli, End-of-Life Doula, educator, grief coach, and founder of Comforting Closure, to talk about how Death Doulas help families navigate serious illness, hospice, dying, and grief with both compassion and practical guidance.

Together we discuss:

• What a Death Doula actually does
• The difference between a Death Doula and hospice care
• Why you shouldn't wait until hospice to ask for help
• How Advance Directives protect your family
• The conversations every family should have before a crisis
• Supporting aging parents through serious illness
• What surprises families most after someone dies
• Why grief affects decision-making more than we realize

This episode will help you feel more prepared—and remind you that you don't have to do it alone.

🌿 Comforting Closure
https://www.comfortingclosure.com

🎙 Comforting Closure: Conversations with a Death Doula
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/comforting-closure-conversations-with-a-death-doula/id1711272921

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/15XvbuqTC0tgZRHhwW7lDi

International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA)
https://inelda.org

Find a certified End-of-Life Doula:
https://inelda.org/find-a-doula/

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/comfortingclosure

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/comfortingclosure

LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/company/comforting-closure

YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@ComfortingClosure

TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@comfortingclosure

🎧 Apple Podcasts
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/high-five-hot-mess-podcast/id1801186500

🌐 Website
https://highfivehotmesspod.com

📸 Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/highfivehotmess

▶️ YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@HighFiveHotMessPodcast

What if the very thing that makes you different is also the thing that makes life harder?

In this Gold Star episode of High Five Hot Mess, Lisa Wilson and Lisa Smith dive into one of the biggest contradictions of adulthood: authenticity.

Is being yourself really the key to happiness—or does it come with a price?

From workplace pressure to fit in, to being told to change your appearance, to the hilarious (and unforgettable) "Sexy for Jesus" party story, this conversation explores why showing up as your authentic self isn't always easy—but why it's almost always worth it.

Along the way, the Lisas discuss:

• Why authenticity can be both your greatest strength and your greatest weakness
• The difference between high self-monitors and low self-monitors
• How trying to become someone else slowly erodes your confidence
• The surprising cost of fitting in
• Learning to like yourself after years of judgment
• Why authentic relationships are built on trust—not performance

This episode became one of the foundation stones of High Five Hot Mess because it's the first time we stopped trying to sound like podcasters... and simply sounded like ourselves.

If you've ever felt like you had to shrink yourself, change yourself, or become someone else just to belong, this conversation is for you.

🖐 High Five Hot Mess is a podcast for anyone trying to figure out adulthood without pretending to have all the answers. Every week, we tackle the messy, funny, and surprisingly universal moments that remind us we're not doing life alone.

🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6S9F...
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/...
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/...
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighFiveHotMess

👍 If you enjoyed this episode, please Like, Subscribe, and Share. It helps more than you know.

👇 Tell us in the comments:
Has being your authentic self ever cost you something—or has it changed your life for the better? We'd love to hear your story.

#HighFiveHotMess #Authenticity #BeYourself #PersonalGrowth #WomenOver40 #GenX #SelfAcceptance #Confidence #Friendship #Podcast #LifeLessons #MentalHealth #Career #Relationships #GoldStarEpisode

Without My Job, Who Was I? | Rebuilding After Quiet Firing

What happens when the job you've built your entire identity around suddenly disappears?

Lisa Smith spent more than 20 years building a successful career. Then, after a divorce, becoming a single parent, and a decade of trying to fit into increasingly toxic workplaces, she realized something was terribly wrong.

She wasn't being coached.
She wasn't being fired.
She was being quietly erased.

In this Gold Star episode of High Five Hot Mess, Lisa shares the moment she realized she was being quietly fired, how losing her career shattered her sense of identity, and what it took to rebuild her confidence after 40.

This conversation isn't just about work. It's about what happens when the title you've carried for years is gone—and you're left asking:

"Without my job... who was I?"

If you've ever questioned your worth after losing a job, changed careers later in life, experienced a toxic workplace, or wondered who you are outside of your career, this episode is for you.

🖐 High Five Hot Mess is a podcast for anyone trying to figure out adulthood without pretending to have all the answers. Every week, we tackle the messy, funny, and surprisingly universal moments that remind us we're not doing life alone.

🎙 Listen to High Five Hot Mess wherever you get your podcasts:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6S9F...
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/...
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/...
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighFiveHotMess

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs to hear they're not alone.

Tell us in the comments:
Have you ever tied your identity to your job? What happened when that changed?

#HighFiveHotMess #QuietFiring #CareerChange #Identity #WomenOver40 #GenX #StartingOver #WorkplaceCulture #ToxicWorkplace #Midlife #PersonalGrowth #Podcast #CareerTransition #LifeAfterLayoff #GoldStarEpisode

One year ago, we hit Publish on our very first episode with absolutely no idea what we were doing.

We thought we'd record in Microsoft Teams. We thought editing would be easy. We thought sponsors would be our biggest problem.

Instead, we threw iPads, accidentally deleted episodes, cried in the shower, fought with podcast software, got banned from Facebook, and somehow kept showing up every Thursday anyway.

In this anniversary episode, we're looking back at everything we've learned—from launching Gold Star Whores to becoming High Five Hot Mess—and why we realized the best thing we built wasn't a podcast at all.

It was a place where people could show up exactly as they are and realize they aren't the only ones trying to figure life out.

In this episode:

• Why we completely changed our podcast (twice)
• The hilarious origin story behind Gold Star Whores
• The editing disaster that almost ended the podcast before it began
• The Jordan Catalano story that still makes us laugh
• What surprised us most about creating a podcast
• Why confidence comes from doing things before you're ready
• The listener messages we'll never forget
• The people who helped us survive Year One
• What we're taking into Year Two

Whether you're thinking about making a big life change, starting over, or just trying to make it to next Thursday, this episode is for you.

Thank you for being part of our first year.

Here's to finding the high fives in a hot mess world. 🖐️

High Five Hot Mess | Help! I Need an Adult: Hospice – What Families Wish They Knew

Most families don't learn about hospice until they're in the middle of a crisis.

One phone call changes everything, and suddenly you're expected to make impossible decisions for someone you love.

In this episode of Help! I Need an Adult, Lisa Wilson and Lisa Smith sit down with hospice physician Dr. Jordan Grumet to answer the questions families wish they'd asked long before they needed the answers.

Together, they unpack what hospice actually is, when it's time to consider hospice care, who pays for hospice, what the first visit looks like, and why so many families carry unnecessary guilt after a loved one dies.

Jordan also shares the lessons he's learned from thousands of hospice patients—including the regrets people carry at the end of life, how to have difficult conversations before a crisis, and the surprisingly peaceful reality of dying that most of us never hear about.

Whether you're caring for aging parents today or simply want to be prepared for the future, this episode offers practical guidance, reassurance, and hope.

• What Is Hospice Care?
• Who Pays for Hospice? Medicare & Hospice Benefits
• When Is It Time for Hospice?
• Advance Directives & End-of-Life Planning
• The Most Common End-of-Life Regrets
• How Do We Love Without Being Destroyed by Grief?

🌐 Official Website:
https://jordangrumet.com/

🎙 Earn & Invest Podcast:
https://www.earnandinvest.com/

📚 Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor's Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life

📚 The Purpose Code: How to Unlock Meaning, Maximize Happiness, and Leave a Lasting Legacy

📚 The Healthcare Heist

📰 The Purpose Code Newsletter (Substack):
https://jordangrumet.substack.com/

🎧 Apple Podcasts

🎧 Spotify

📺 YouTube

📸 Instagram: @highfivehotmesspodcast

If this episode helped you better understand hospice, we'd love it if you would follow the show, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it one day.

None of us gets a manual for becoming the adult in the room—but together, we can be a little more prepared.

When did you become the adult in the room?

For many of us, it happens without warning. One day your parents are handling everything. The next day you're trying to figure out where the bank accounts are, who's paying the bills, whether there's a will, and how you're supposed to make decisions nobody prepared you for.

In this episode of our Help! I Need an Adult series, we sit down with hospice physician, author, and podcast host Dr. Jordan Grumet to talk about the financial, emotional, and practical realities of caring for aging parents and loved ones.

We discuss:

• Why financial power of attorney may be the most important document you've never completed
• How to start difficult conversations before a crisis happens
• What to do when you suddenly become responsible for a parent's finances
• The difference between dignity and safety when making care decisions
• Medicaid, long-term care, and the realities families face when money is tight
• Why these situations are often more about agency than finances
• ICE (In Case of Emergency) binders and family planning conversations
• What Jordan has learned from years of caring for patients at the end of life

Whether you're helping aging parents, caring for a spouse, planning for your own future, or simply realizing nobody handed you the instruction manual for adulthood, this conversation is packed with practical advice and perspective.

Dr. Jordan Grumet (Doc G) is a hospice physician, author, speaker, and host of the Earn & Invest Podcast. His work explores the intersection of money, purpose, legacy, and the lessons we can learn from people at the end of life.

• Jordan Grumet Official Website
• Earn & Invest Podcast
• The Purpose Code
• Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor's Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life
• The Healthcare Heist
• The Purpose Code Newsletter (Substack)

• Financial Power of Attorney
• Estate Planning
• Elder Care Attorneys
• Long-Term Care Planning
• Medicaid & Medicare Resources
• ICE (In Case of Emergency) Binders
• Family Financial Meetings